What was going on? 

Dosia turned over in her bed and looked at the clock sitting on her nightstand.  It was five fifteen.  She started to grind her teeth as she flipped back over; this had to be a dream.  She had to imagine that there was a doorbell going off.  It was but a moment before her jaw relaxed and she tucked her cheek into her pillow.  Silence.  It was a dream.  Until it wasn’t. 

B-b-b-r-r-r-i-i-i-i-i-n-g!

Augustine.

It had to be Augustine.

She probably forgot her keys again. 

Or worse.  Mulligan. 

He was here to get Augustine and she wasn’t getting up. 

Whatever it was, it was most assuredly related to Augustine and that meant Dosia had to get up.  Shoving her feet into her slippers on the floor, she grabbed her wand off the side table and did the only spells she could do without speaking to start tea.  “Coming!” she called out, though it was more like a rumble, the kind of sound a sleepy and disturbed lion would make. 

Throwing open the door, Dosia let her mouth hang open and rolled her eyes upward at the offending individual (no doubt they would be taller than her).  Godric, was it still dark out?  Dosia was so unhappy at this moment.  "Someone better be dead."

His night had started out fun-- drinking with some old friends. After a couple of their more intense shots, he had the brilliant idea to shoot fireworks off the end of his wand. The bartender was a benevolent woman, and simply confiscated it instead of kicking him out. Either way, JJ supported that decision. It was better that he wasn't carrying around a potentially deadly weapon when he could barely remember what his alma mater was. His buddy, Lance, was the designated apparator, responsible for getting everybody home. They stayed until Death & Co closed.

Or at least, JJ did.

When it was time to go, he put on his jacket, went outside to meet Lance and-- the jackass was nowhere to be found. JJ assumed that he had gone home with the pink-lipped woman with the golden shoes who was hanging off his arm all evening. Shit. Wandless, far from sober, and alone, JJ wandered Diagon Alley until he found an empty bench to nap on. It was only an hour or so, but once he woke up he felt.... More like himself.

God, he was lucky he didn't have to go into work this morning.

JJ took a quick inventory of friends in the area-- and the only one he could think of that lived in (or around) Diagon was Tiny. There was a small chance that she could still be awake! So, he adventured to her place and knocked on the door, only to be greeted by a very grumpy looking Theodosia. He gave her an apologetic smile that was more like a grimace.

"I looked at my life, looked at my choices. They were bad ones." He offered by way of explanation, "Don't have my wand. I'm still--" He felt vaguely floaty, "A little drunk. I was betrayed. Lance is a wanker." JJ gave her the most pathetic look, "Can I take a shower and crash on your couch until the bar opens?" He wasn't that tired anymore though, but felt distinctly dirty. Anybody who was good friends with Judah knew that he was a bit obsessive when it came ot his personal hygiene. He showered at least once a day. Sometimes twice.  "Or I'll make breakfast after?"

Judah, otherwise known as JJ, stood at the door trying to smile at her, but he looked like he was in pain.  Additionally, he smelled like he was in pain – or had almost drowned in a vat of beer.  Had Tine abandoned him at a bar and now he was like a lost puppy? 

He had that quality about him, from as much as Dosia knew him.  Which, in reality, was not that well.  So, his explanation did not really register who in the world was Lance and it still didn’t explain why he was here outside of not having a wand.  That was the sign of a rough night.  When Tine did that, Dosia usually had to go retrieve it.  She hoped JJ didn’t think she was going to do that.  Her expression did not change as he continued to talk, though the grip she had on the doorframe did intensify, knuckles turning whiter by the moment. 

She was more of a morning person than Augustine, but only by a fraction and necessity.  This did not amuse her.  Luckily, he was super pathetic and it’d be easier to just let him in and have Tine deal with him later.  Plus, breakfast sounded great.  Usually, she had to get up and do it. 

Mollified by the prospect, Dosia’s expression softened and she dropped her arm to allow him to come inside.  “Towels are in the closet in the bathroom,” she explained flatly and motioned at the door that was their bathroom.  She assumed he already knew, though this flat was Tine’s newest ‘investment’ so maybe he hadn’t been around yet?  Dosia didn’t always keep track of the comings and goings of individuals into this place.  “I don’t think Tine or I have sweats for you…” she looked him up and down.  Though he wasn’t the tallest, he towered over her and her sister, so their pants would look like cut offs on him and he was a boxy type of man… it’d be like watching an over sized badger try to squirm into their clothes.  “and I don’t do laundry.”  That was where Dosia drew the line. 

The look on her face was not one that could be argued with.  “Eggs, bacons, and bread are in the kitchen,” she passed by the fridge that she tapped on before she grabbed a teacup out of the cabinet and prepared her cup.  The water was already boiling and it was required now that she was up.  With her delicate cup cradled in her hands, she plopped on the love-seat that was overstuffed and white, the larger couch on the other side of the room. She tugged the raw cotton throw blanket over her legs and breathed in the steam from the cup - the smell immediately putting her in a better mood, and a sip turning her into a person again.  She swore, tea was more powerful than any pepper-up potion. “After you sleep off that,” she waved her hand at him, unable to indicate that he was much drunker than he thought he was, “you can get to it.”  A smile over the edge of the teacup indicated that she was going to get the most out of this.  In exchange for her hospitality and not slamming the door in her face, she was doing none of the morning chores.

"Thank you." He mouthed to Dosia. Truly, benevolence and goodwill ran in the Fortescue family. All he had to do to believe that was ignore Theodosia's history of thievery and Augustine's history of kicking exes out of the apartment naked. Besides their lapses in consideration and common decency, he was certain that inside, their hearts were probably mostly pure.

The towels were easy enough to find. JJ decided that he wouldn't worry about getting into clothes that didn't smell like booze until he was in a position to change them. Two witches lived here; it was highly unlikely that they would have clothes that would fit him. They were both tiny, and the sight of men in too-small sweats was just as hilarious as it was sad and pitiful. It would've been form fitting... In all the wrong ways (or the right ways, if you have the worst taste).

Dosia and Tiny's bathroom was crowded-- it was very obvious that the two had just moved in here. Every bit of counter space was covered in various products and skin creams. As a man who grew up with many sisters, he was not disturbed. In fact, he half expected to see hairballs clinging to the shower wall; at least the sisters spared him that trauma. JJ always thought they were spiders when they lurked in his peripheral. Or worse, when they migrated to the floor and he stepped on them.

JJ wasn't about to sleep off his horrible night, but the shower would rejuvenate him better than any nap on a bench ever could. Half of his time was spent sniffing the various body washes and shampoos, the other half was actually spent getting clean. The germs on his body were experiencing some sort of apocalyptic event at the hands of spicy-flowery scented soap. Why did women's products smell so much better than men's?!

He turned off the shower,[1] dried off, and wrapped the towel around his waist. His face felt excruciatingly dry. Ugggh. Why couldn't he be at home? At least there, he had his favorite face creams.

Oh.

Oh.

Had he forgotten where he was? JJ's mood improved significantly when he spotted the array of moisterizers. Knowing Augustine, she would only have the best of the best. Stuff that was probably out of his budget. And, given her fame, she probably got some for free.

He opened the container and dabbed a modest amount on his face, rubbing it in gently. There. That was better. Now the matter of his clothes. JJ stared at the pile on the floor with a mixture of distaste and resignation. JJ opened the bathroom door a crack and stage whispered, "Dodosia. Dosia. Are you sure there's nothing else I can wear? Dosiiiiaaaa."

1.	Dosia can probably hear the shower being shut off???

When JJ disappeared into the bathroom, Dosia closed her eyes and just breathed in the steam coming off of the hot tea.  There was a hint of lemon that just perked her right up.  Taking another sip, she rested the cup on the arm of the chair and used her now free left hand to tug the white cotton blanket off the back of the chair and over her legs. 

It wasn’t that it was cold necessarily, but it was habit.  Being curled up on the couch in the Fortescue home inevitably meant curling up with the old white blanket, protected by so many charms it would never be anything less than pristine.  This was her preferred way to drink tea in the morning.  Not that she really ever got to.

If there was anything Dosia valued over curling up with her tea and gradually waking up, it was the sweet hold of sleep.  She tried to avoid getting up a second before she had to on a regular day.  It usually left her brewing her cuppa while trying to organize her schedule for the day and manage putting together breakfast for herself and Tine, not that Dosia ever felt compelled to eat in the morning.  She often felt like (and proved) she could live on tea until supper rolled around or Augustine asked for something and that reminded her to eat.   But, then again, on those mornings she hadn’t been dragged out of bed by an incessant doorbell…

So it appeared to be a draw as far as her morning’s were concerned. 

As she raised the cup to her lips again, she heard the shower turn off and she anticipated he’d come back out in the same clothes that smelled of stale beer and poor decision making in a matter of minutes.  She kicked her foot down to anticipate hitting the floor when she’d inevitably have to show him where kitchen items were for his breakfast preparation. 

Unfortunately, that was not why she was getting up.  "Dodosia. Dosia. Are you sure there's nothing else I can wear? Dosiiiiaaaa."

Dosia cringed and grumbled.  That was less fantastic than breakfast.  Thankfully, however, as she was more awake she could pull herself up and off of the plush couch to head to the hall closet.  She knew there was a box in there… She deposited her teacup on the counter before she passed the bathroom door, maybe trying to see just how wide the crack of the door was and if she could sneak a peak of whatever he hid under that t-shirt (Dosia was not stupid, she knew he was an auror.  They were fit.)

She did not pause too long though before throwing open the hall closet and bending to throw the flaps open.  Ah! She knew it!  She’d told Tine to throw it away, but… nothing got done if one didn’t do it one’s self!  So, the ex-box remained.  Mostly filled with the select clothing that Tine did not throw out of windows and kept for herself until she tired of them and they ended up here – where Dosia asked them to be thrown out. Thankfully, she supposed, Tine hadn’t listened to her. 

Digging around, she wrapped her fingers around thick fabric and pulled.  A very large pair of sweatpants came out.  Comically large, really.  Dosia felt like they were as long as she was!  Must’ve belonged to Grigory, she reasoned and shrugged, throwing them over her shoulder.  They’d have to do!  She thrust her hand into the box again and felt for a softer, thinner fabric and was immediately horrified when she pulled out a pair of very tight looking briefs.  That wasn't what she intended to grab!  Grimacing, she almost put them back... but then remembered that they were part of a man's outfit and... oh Merlin.  Dosia was not prone to being embarrassed, but even her cheeks reddened - she'd best include them.  Sweatpants without... no.  Just on.  Upon the next dip into the box, Dosia was pleased when she pulled out a t-shirt with a ‘v-neck’ that seemed scandalous for Tine to wear, let alone someone she brought home.  She did not dwell on the thought or the fact that it was neon yellow – it’d have to do! 

“Here,” she offered curtly, holding out the clothes.  “You don’t even have to return them!” that was great – two birds in one, or something like that… wasn’t that the saying?  “Need anything else?” 

It seemed that mediocre fortune was blessing JJ today. He got to moisterize his perfect face, and he wasn't forced to wait forever to get a clean change of clothes. Even if that change of clothes did not, by any stretch of the imagination, fit him. The sweats, he assumed, belonged to that big Russian bloke at some point. The briefs were snug, but not uncomfortably so. He felt like he could safely dance in his kitchen in those.

As he slipped into the t-shirt, JJ realized that it was too much. Yes, he looked wonderful in yellow. And absolutely yes, he had a body that was worth showing off. That didn't mean that a super low v-neck didn't make him feel about as uncomfortable as a bowtruckle on Bonfire Night.

"Thanks, Dosia." JJ said, admiring (or something like that) his reflection before opening the door. Did he need anything else? "Just breakfast." He replied, "But part of the deal was that I would make it." JJ tried his best not to look Dosia in the eye. She was definitely judging him. Or probably judging him. Either way, the chance was high and he did not feel like being judged at the moment. He could do that himself. He took more one quick glance at his reflection before making his way into the kitchen.

"Do you have anything other than diet shit?"

Alright.

That was… absolutely hilarious… and probably her sister’s shirt.  Or that wrock guy she brought home months ago… Maybe they shared it?  That might have made the most sense.  Regardless, it was absolutely insane on JJ, regardless of the fact he could carry the particular shade of yellow without looking completely insane.  It made her smirk, at the very least. 

“You shouldn’t thank me,” she noted, appraising him with another cursory all over glance, “I didn’t exactly gift you with a Libertine original ensemble,” she slurred with an exaggerated French accent that would make anyone cringe.  “You can still make breakfast though,” she added quickly and watched him move before dropping back into her seat. 

Wrinkling her nose at his question, clearly JJ did not know Augustine well enough if he asked that.  Sure, she liked to put on the front of health freak and fitness girl, but she liked a good BLT as much as the next person (and with a little extra B).  Rolling her eyes, she tugged her blanket back over her legs.  “It’s all in the pantry.  Don’t let Tine’s unconventional pets – and veneer of a diet -- fool you: she likes bacon as much as the next person.”  While Dosia could understand her love of the food, the little pig… not so much. 

“I’d like eggs, sausage – you know, a proper breakfast,” she informed him from the couch, “and put the kettle back on.  More tea.”  She waved her nearly empty cup with a bright smile.  “It’s been a while since a wizard’s made me breakfast.  A witch could get used to this.” 

"It's a little known fact," JJ began, making his way into the kitchen. "I make the best breakfasts."  He'd have to do it muggle style, though. No wand.

He put the kettle back on and began to prep the scrambled eggs. With a fork and some milk, he whisked together the eggs. He couldn't find any sausage, but there were copious amounts of bacon. Perfect. It took longer than it would've with magic, (about a half hour), but the tea and breakfast were finally ready. Cheesy eggs. Bacon. Toast. He couldn't find any beans, but this would be good enough to fill them up.

Plate of food in one hand and mug in the other, he sat down next to Dosia, who had already started eating.

"I'm surprised more wizards aren't lining up to make you food." JJ teased, "Especially at--" He glanced at the clock, "... This early." That wasn't a proper sentence, but whatever.

 “I will believe it when I taste it, Sir,” she replied crisply and put her feet up on the coffee table, socks delicately poking out from under the fluffy white abomination called a blanket  She didn’t anticipate she would have to wait for long before there’d be a tray at her lap and a full smile on her face. 

However, rather than being immediately presented with food, she got a sudden realization that she took magic for granted.  It seemed like she waited.. and waited… and what seemed like waited for another ten years before JJ appeared with her plate.  Yes!

Eager hands stretched out (notably she still did not move from the chair) and she took the plate that smelled so good she could die and dug her fork in.  What were manners?  Dosia hardly knew when she was awake at an unreasonable hour and not having to produce breakfast for two. 

When he joined her on the couch, she was already one strip of bacon and two bites of toast short of him.  The only reasonable action seemed to be to that while he was glancing at the clock, she knick the lost bacon of his plate.  Guilty expression on her face, she shoved that single piece of bacon into her mouth and blinked, eyes wide. 

If it were possible, she would have snorted bacon straight up her nose once she processed his question.  She chewed quickly and swallowed roughly, “That’s for Tine,” she raised her plate and held up her fork, “I get the freebies.”  She smiled with false enthusiasm and quickly lowered her plate so she could pick up her toast.

“You know,” she glanced over at him, waving the piece of bread somewhat like a pointer, “this isn’t half bad, Basir.  Might almost be as good as my BLTs.” 

JJ looked down at his plate, eager to grab a piece of bacon when something didn't look quite right. He gave his breakfast a squinty eyed stare, and then that stare slooooowly moved over to Theodosia's face. Her guilty, guilty face. Oh, he grew up with siblings (and friends) who stole food off his plate all the time. Luckily for them, he wasn't a particularly territorial person when it came to his food. JJ was always more than willing to share his bizarre sandwiches and snacks with them.

Even bacon.

"Thief!" He whispered in mock-horror before taking a bite of bacon. It was a perfect mixture of crunchy and chewy. He could hardly blame Dosia for having a lapse in morality. "I haven't tried your BLTs. Have you ever had a BLTAC?" JJ didn't wait for her to answer, "Bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado... And crisps."

Dosia froze. 

She had been caught.  The accusation was levied with mock horror.  She finished chewing and swallowed, raising a challenging eyebrow at him.  “What are you going to do, Auror Bassir?” she smirked, “arrest me?”  Dosia rested her plate in her lap and held out her wrists as though he would restrain her, “Don’t even bother giving me a trial, I have no remorse.  I’d steal again.” 

At least she didn’t have to worry about his wand and actually being restrained.  Bless the fact that he left it at the bar.  Not that she really thought he’d bind her, but, you know, insurance was always a good thing. 

Picking up her plate again she tilted her chin with pride, “We’ll you’re missing out,” she noted.  “You can’t just add avocado and chips to a classic,” Dosia sighed.  “You ruin the integrity of the sandwich.”  Not to mention avocados were clearly better suited for avocado toast and that was the best at its purest as well.  Dosia considered sometimes going on one of those ‘all natural’ taste all your food for what it is diets, but then again, salt was like a special gift from Godric Gryffindor himself, so… nah.  “You know, the very idea should put you in Azkaban.  It’s positively criminal.”