Evening hours. Rated M for references to sexual content.


      "Mmmf..!"

Raine Almasy sucked in a breath of air as she prised herself away from Zel's mouth, their lips wet with one another's spittle and smeared by pink rouge. It was hard to see either of these things in the dark room, however, though she could make out his stark white skin against shadow.

"Stop - I... I don't think I can," the Gryffindor grasped either side of her boyfriend's bare shoulders as she straddled his lap on the desk they had both comandeered for this purpose. Strands of long, wild curls clung to the sweat cooling down the back of her neck and around her décolletage, where the blouse had been mostly unbuttoned.

Of course he stopped. His hands smoothed down the underside of her thighs beneath the wool skirt and the bunched silk briefs. She felt small when he held her there. Raine was all goosebumps, nipples firm underneath the soft mesh of her bra and skin tingling.

On the desk, they were encircled by heaps of cushions and soft rugs that had been leftover from whatever Divination Club activity had last taken place in the empty classroom. The scent of incense underlaid her own perfume, peach oil, and Zel's natural woody scent.

"Thank you," she murmured after a while had gone by with only uncertain, heavy breathing. It was raining outside. "I'm, um. I can't seem to..."

Raine trailed off without knowing how to describe what it was to want something badly without wanting it at all.

Face and skin chest flushed and warm, Zel froze, loosening the grip of his arms wrapped around her waist. He stopped, of course he stopped-- and moved to give Raine space. Space to think, space to breathe, whatever she needed.

He suddenly felt very naked and more aware of the slight chill in the air. Goosepimples spread across his skin and he resisted a shiver. Zel's eyes began to adjust to the darkness, and he tried to get a read on Raine's face. Her body language. She was uncomfortable. Uncertain.

"We don't need to do anything, it's fine." He said in a low voice, managing a small smile. If Zel felt like a smartass, he could've made a comment about how he was capable of finishing the job himself. But that didn't feel appropriate for the moment, so he kept his mouth shut.

A classroom wasn't exactly ideal anyway. Nowhere on campus was-- except perhaps the Room of Requirement. But that felt too intentional. Too stilted. Plus, fifth years were probably using it again to injure each other. Here, they ran the risk of getting caught. And that was not something he was completely comfortable with, either. He didn't want that thought, nagging in the back of his head. It'd been like that with Elysia, due to that, he'd found that his first time had been stressful more than anything else. Maybe that was part of it, with Raine?

"Do you want to talk about it, or...?" Maybe this was the sort of thing that was easier to tell Gracie than him, "I won't get upset, promise." 

She slipped off his lap, dropping to the floor on bare feet as her frame relaxed in relief. Of course it was fine but Raine was happy to hear that from Zel all the same. Not everyone was as patient or as forgiving about having their anticipation interrupted - least of all boys in her age group.

The Gryffindor reached down to her thighs and pulled her knickers on properly before running a hand through her curls. She shook them out to let the cool air in, dissipating the heat that had accumulated.

       "Do you want to talk about it, or...? I won't get upset, promise."

Raine turned to look at her boyfriend, now stood before him at her unimpressive height and with an anxious expression. "I know you won't," she murmured reassuringly. It was cold. The witch moved closer, placing her hands on Zel's knees as she met him in the eye.

"I want to have sex with you." Raine informed, in as straightforward a manner she could manage. "But I don't... I'm not feeling it? My mind keeps going back to this past year. So much has changed yet Hogwarts is still-" she gestured to the classroom around them. "-still all this. It doesn't seem real, Zel."

He almost wanted to laugh. Raine Almasy was having an existential crisis. He had one just about every morning he let his mind wander in the shower. Or when he was just about to sleep... So, pretty much every day. It wasn't exactly a peaceful way to live. By no stretch of the imagination was Zel a relaxed person. He'd always been a bundle of nerves. Now he was just a bigger bundle of nerves-- with added trauma. And a beard.

At least the beard was an upgrade.

"You want to, but you don't want to." That was simple enough. "And you don't want to here?" Classrooms weren't exactly an ideal place to have sex. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. At school, there was too much sneaking around. While some people probably enjoyed that thrill, Zel didn't. He didn't like the uncertainty that came with the potential for interruptions. Maybe now wasn't a great time. She was going through some hard stuff with her aunt, he was going through... Something. Zel wasn't enlightened enough to figure that out yet.

"Think about it, Hogwarts has been through two wars. It still looks the same as when our professors were our age. Since our Headmistress was our age. Hogwarts is... Changing but not. The people change, everything else changes but... A lot stays the same. I don't like thinking about how things keep on going when we can barely do it." Ugh, he made it sad now. Classic Zel. 

He stood up and pulled his shirt on, fumbling with the buttons. "I am not going to say it's going to be okay because we don't know that. And none of this--" He gestured towards nothing physical in particular, but he hoped she'd know what he meant. Which was everything. The kidnappings, his kidnapping, the poisonings. It was too much. "None of this is okay." And it really shouldn't be. At least that was a sign their heads were on straight.

As Zel spoke, she moved away from him to drop into one of the chairs that hadn't been stacked in a corner of the room. One pale, freckled leg crossed over the other. She looked up at his face - gaze tracing the corners of his mouth and then the sincerity of his eyes. Raine was often looking up at him.

Both sight and angle were reassuring.

          "I don't like thinking about how things keep on going when we can barely do it."

Now she watched his hands instead, frowning at the words. They were understandable but disturbing; is that how he felt? That they were barely able to keep up with what was happening? "None of this is okay," the Hufflepuff finished.

Raine bit her lower lip and drew her elbows backwards, resting against the back of the chair. Zel wasn't wrong, no. Only... it sounded rather hopeless when put that way. A bleak whirlwind in which nothing made sense.

"I kn-- I realise we don't know it's going to be okay. We can never know what's going to happen, not really." A glance at him and she held out one hand into the air for her boyfriend to take. "But I believe it will be. If we try, and in time. Everything takes more time than we want it to."

Healing, most of all. And she knew better than most that not all wounds could heal completely. "Sex here was probably a bad idea." Raine smiled, wry and vaguely chastened. "I want it to be... different. I don't know. Perhaps in a bed..." the smile became teasing now, given away a glimmer in her eye.

Something that always struck him was how stubbornly hopeful Raine was. Her sister had died, her aunt was a psychopath-murderer, her mother was distant. Despite being let down by her family in some way or another, again and again, she was determined to make the future better, no matter how bad the past was. He wished that he could be that optimistic.

Zel laced his fingers with hers and stepped closer. Eyes adjusting to the light, Raine's features became more clear. Freckles splattered across her nose. In the dimness, her fiery red hair took on an auburn quality. She was probably one of the few people on campus who was nearly as pale as he was.

The conversation suddenly took a humorous turn, he let out a strangled laugh. He felt a familiar heat rush to his cheeks. At the barest hint of any emotion, his face betrayed him. "Uhh." He looked around, "A bed would probably be best." A big bed, so his feet wouldn't dangle off and distract him. "And with more... Privacy." More privacy than an empty classroom could afford. Somebody could walk in at any moment, really. "It can wait. We can wait until it's right."

          "It can wait. We can wait until it's right."

He was right. Raine smiled softly at him, and then at their interwoven fingers: she wanted to treasure these things. Soon... far sooner than any of them would like, it would be nothing but a memory. Right now however it was real. It was present. She squeezed his hand before releasing it.

"Let's go. I think I'd like some sleep." The Gryffindor stepped back and was about to turn towards the door before she looked back at Zel. "In fact, I think I'm already half asleep. Carry me? On your shoulders of course, none of that over-the-threshold nonsense."

She reached out her arms, with no particular aim, just a childish demand to be taken back to her common room.