Charlotte St. James
London

Margo Amherst
Death & Co.
Diagon Alley

Margo,

What did I just read?

I know Witch Weekly is hardly the most reliable source, but some of the sloppier drunks in your bar were also blabbing this week. About you and a hot new lawyer dad. Or is he a daddy? I’ve seen him before while making my rounds at the Ministry. Congratulations on his face. (And his abs, I hear.)

And there's also someone who works with the animals? Taking turns, like good boys and girl(s).

You like them wholesome.

Tell me more, favorite cousin. How caged are you, exactly? What does his cage look like? Or the other his.

Love you,

Charlotte

Margo Amherst
Death & Co.
Diagon Alley

Charlotte St. James
London

Oh Charlotte,

You only wish I would settle down.  Then it would make you the wild child of the family.  Sorry to say, you can’t claim the title yet.  His face is great though, isn’t it?  And the abs.  You don’t even know (and you probably never will, hah!). 

Also, I resent the daddy comment.  Not my game.  Though, he does have a kid.  She’s pretty cool, meows a lot.  I gave her one of Lizard’s (alleged) kittens. 

But, slightly more seriously, ignore the rumors.  Nate and Gamp are best friends; the gossip world hears (and sees) what it wants.  I mean, a few weeks before they practically posted the wedding announcement for him and Woolfolk.  Ridiculous.  (Gross. Tell me you wouldn’t go even if you were invited?) 

I’m an open book though, ask for information and you shall receive it.  I look forward to answering any and all of your queries in your next letter – or better yet, an in-person drunk interrogation at Death&Co.  If your letters could make their way here, I’m sure you can. 

Your best cousin,
Margo

Charlotte St. James
London

Margo Amherst
Death & Co.
Diagon Alley

Margo,

I think I’m plenty wild for us to share that title. Just because I only like dragons in my bed doesn’t mean I can’t rival you with the jelly slug shots. Maybe you should bring him along to be the judge next time. We can do belly shots, too. That way I can have a good look at those abs after all.

There’s nothing wrong with older men or bearded men, or bearded older men. You might want to take the child to a healer if her mewing gets worse, though. Or spike her pumpkin juice. I have a few babysitting tricks from my Julian-minding days. You wouldn’t believe the things you could get a kid to do if you pretend it’s a game. And if those don’t work, blame the house elves.

How many stray animals do you have running about?

I’d say you’re an upgrade, we do share genes. But of course I would go to a Woolfolk wedding… if for no other reason than to bang bag of the groomsmen. You can’t steal all of them, Margo. Besides, you don’t have to like the people getting married to attend a wedding. You should know both of those things by now.

I’m thirsty. It’s a date. How’s tomorrow night? You can tell me all about the notches in your bedpost.

Charlotte

Margo Amherst
Death & Co.

Charlotte St. James
London

Charlotte,

Thanks for the tip, but I’m pretty sure Callie could beat up Julian and she’s only like… four.  She does karate.  He’d be petrified, especially if she was wearing her karate unicorn costume.   Absolutely deadly. 

And speaking of deadly: jellyslug shot contest.  Nate judges. I’m in.  I will demand ask if he will.  Then, we’ll spring the body shots on him after the contest.  You know, element of surprise.  If you can manage to keep a secret anyway.  I know how much you like gossip.  Which is exactly why you would go to a Woolfolk wedding. 

Besides, the groomsmen at that wedding would be Balfour and Johann, I’m sure (and there is NO getting in between that… unless you’re the groom, apparently).  Oh, guess that’s some gossip for you!  I didn’t say that, obviously.  Wedding or not, it is going to be boring – bet they don’t even have an open bar.  What a waste. 

I’d much prefer to think about our open bar!  I’ll have to ask Nate, but count it as a soft yes and we can confirm.  If not, I’ll just meet you and the shots contest will have to wait! (Better for you, less embarrassment you’ll need to face in the immediate future). 

-Margo

Charlotte St. James
London

Margo Amherst
Death & Co.
Diagon Alley

Margo,

Don't underestimate Julian just because he looks like he has gold medals in wizarding polo. And crew. He could keep a child in check as long as she hasn't entered puberty. Those are the nightmare years. He's survived this long at Hogwarts, though, so he clearly takes after his aunt. He's helped me babysit Bristol's little girl, too, and you know who her parents are. (She's an angel, remarkably.)

Tag teaming, I like it. We could do the same at the wedding, you know. Maybe they'll bring more than one date.

Who says there's no invitation to... sit between them, ever? Haven't you heard of scotch? Congratulate them on the impending nuptials. I'll pay for the open bar. My wedding gift.

See you soon.

Love,

Charlotte