J. Storm
3A, House of Atreus
Knightsbridge
London

Isla Spectre
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Scotland

To our my the favourite cousin born in 1996,

Was in France yesterday on super secret business for the Ministry, so made an excuse to visit my aunt's favourite patisserie. (That's French for fancy bakery, essentially.)

Don't eat them all at once.

I do hope you're keeping up on your homework, but if in crisis, owl it over. I've pretty much perfected your handwriting - Balfour says I'm only to correct and edit your homework.

Lots of love,



PS we gave Maverick an extra long pet for you when we came by the other week. He told me he misses you terribly.

Yojan,

I was told your name is spelled with a J, so I am being extra careful to spell it right for you because that is how much I appresiate you. I love French bakeries! Maman is not a very good cook but dad tries to make her some French pastries sometimes. I don't know very much French at all which is really sad so I am honestly the shame of the Vaillancourts. I don't have a mind for it and I barely speak English as it is!!!

The macarons are delicious!!! I brought them to class and took bites out of them like a super sneaky ninja. Maman says I'm eating too much but dad says I'm still growing so I should listen to my stomach. He thinks I am going to be tall!

You are so kind to me for offering to look at my homework. Please don't do to good of a job because professor Storm won't believe I really wrote it.


Love you five-ever,

Isla

PS I found a cat and I hugged it and pretended it was maverick.

J. Storm
3A, House of Atreus
Knightsbridge
London

Isla Spectre
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Scotland

Dear Isla,

My name is spelled with a J. It is as the start. J O H A N N. It’s just not a ‘J’ sound in English like ‘jug’ or ‘jog’ but a ‘Y’ sound more like ‘yoghurt’. Some friends do call me ‘Jo’ like in English though. I don’t mind. Your mother calls me ‘the boy’ but I think she forgets my name often.

Do not worry about your grasp of language. Not everyone has that talent. You are talented in other ways, and ways you will not even know yet - ones to discover as you grow up. The way to find out is to try everything once. People can be good at all sorts of funny things that are useful, or that brighten the day of others. Hogwarts is just about giving you enough skills to try those out.

Very glad you liked the macarons. The best Spectres are the tall ones, in my opinion. If you start growing outwards more than you do upwards, just walk some more. You will take me on your favourite walks in summer won’t you? I’d like to take Whiskey too, Maverick would like that wouldn’t he?

Now, you may have heard the news that Balfour is at home poorly at the moment. He was very brave indeed to fend off the manticore[1] in Glasgow. Have you studied manticores yet? If not go and look one up in the library, they are very scary and you will see how brave Balfour is. I read your letter out to him, and am reading this letter to him, but you may guess there is a certain part of each that I might have skipped over, so to speak.

Enclosing a copy of your Defences homework, hope it reaches you in time. Ignan Professor Storm should find that more than suitable for an acceptable grade. I only added seven paragraphs a little. Do read it through carefully. It’s important to know about defending yourself. I know he will say one cannot defend with an essay, but actually one can do a lot with the written word. And earn quite a bit.

I have given Balfour an extra hug from you as I am sure you would like me too, and well, I do not need an excuse to hug him more, and I think he really needs them right now.

Love you six-ever from both of us, and a big lick from Whiskey.

1.	March 5th Beast Division Misadventure, though that’s not published for 2 more days

Dearest J O H A N N,

Maman knows your name. She is just mean. Its ok because she is mean to everyone and you are not an esepksun (SPELLING???) What I am meaning is that you are not the only one she is mean to because she is mean to alot of people. She is nice to Dad but it is not easy to be mean to him.

I know alot about manticores. I am a Spectre you know which means that we learn about creatures weather we want to or not.[1] It is no opshun. Seanair made sure we knew to never sneak up on a manitcore from behind because there tails are more dangerous than there heads. Send Balfour my love. Even the heads of manticores are not friendly ones.

The essay is so impressive, J O H A N N! I do not think that Professer Storm will think I wrote it and I am afraid I will get in trouble... I am in aw of you're  paragrafs and you are very smart but Storm is very smart and knows that I am not. Are you sure he will be convinsed because I am not. Alistair read it and laughed and then DARED ME to turn it in as is. When he dares me I know not to do it. Thank you so much for your kindness and effort and the lending of youre brain. I will work my ISLA MAGIC on it.

Give Balfour a big hug for me! I wish I was there.

Isla

P.S can I help with your wedding one day???

1.	Her attempt at adopting Johann's tone in letters

J. Storm
3A, House of Atreus
Knightsbridge
London

Isla Spectre
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Scotland

Dear Isla,

Ig Professor Storm is not as smart as you think, but you know yourself best. Use it as a guide. He’s a meanie for writing such tricky questions. Next time you see him, say “you’re a griesgram” (greeze-gram) to him. It’s a compliment in German. Trust me, he’ll love it.[1]

Alistair is a dic brave soul, but I admit I’d be curious to see what grade I we got. (Full marks on spelling my name, by the way.) Come summer, we’ll learn something fun together that you don’t get to do at Hogwarts. Name your topic.

I have given Balfour extra hugs from you as demanded in your last letter. Did you see the Prophet? He’s getting an award. We’re all very proud of him! His eyes are going to get better, I’m absolutely sure.

As for my wedding, well, I’m sure you will one day. One has to ask someone to marry them first. I love Balfour very much, but we’ve only been together six months next week. We’ll be enjoying everyone else’s weddings this summer, perhaps you and I can spot good ideas for the future? Then I can go about the asking. But shhhh you mustn’t mention that part, much like you mustn’t mention about the essay. Though, now you’ve told Alistair, I imagine there’s no keeping it quiet. (Tell him he’s a großmaul, it means ‘big mouth'.)

Do write and let me know how you get on….

Much love,

1.

He won’t

J O H A N N N N (YO HAM),

I will write "greeze gram" on my hand so that I know to call him that if he is cross with me.  I turned in the asignment[1] so I will let you know if I get a T.

I did not see the Prophet!!! Can you send me a copy please?

I told Alistair he is A grobmaul. He threw Linuses frog at me and told me to shut my mouth. Linus screamed. It was a DISASTER and NATRALLY I screamed to. It is okay because that is how brothers and sisters are. It is fun to be mean sometimes.

I will help you find the perfect place to ask and to have a wedding because I am a true romantic. I know you have only been together for six months but it feels like six years to me it is like you are family already!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE,

Isla

1.	Isla-fied, of course so that it looks more like she wrote it, but it's definitely way better than her usual written work.

J. Storm
3A, House of Atreus
Knightsbridge
London

Isla Spectre
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Scotland

Dear Isla,

Firstly, and clearly, most importantly, BALFOUR CAN SEE! Isla we are so very happy. There might have been tears and we might have to go and look at some very pretty things and people to celebrate. Yes, it does feel like six years, you are very intuitive, Isla. We shall definitely hunt suitable places.

But the more time-pressing matter is: we’ve been discovered.

I think I’ve saved you detention, but be very careful of Professor Storm. I mean, even more careful. Stick close to friends today, and a beady eye on him, for he is an evil bastard person and I might have had to send Miranda wine, lots of wine. Since he can’t give me detention like he can you, it was wine or a week’s detention for you. I can take the hit. You’re too young and pretty.

In retrospect, advising you to call him a grouch (griesgram) was probably enough to arouse his suspicions of the origins of your sudden bilingual interests.

Good luck, brave Hufflepuff.

Much love,



PS it is good to be mean sometimes. He deserved it. I've enclosed a whole list of creative insults to use in different languages. Though, sometimes English just lends itself so well to express irritation. Knobhead for instance, dropping the h... try it. On your brother not Professor Storm otherwise you and I will both have detention for the rest of our lives.

Dearest Yohann,

I AM GOING TO DIE
TIME TO PLAN MY FUNRAL

Love,
Isla may she rest in piece

J. Storm
3A, House of Atreus
Knightsbridge
London

Isla Spectre
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Scotland

Isla,

There is still hope. If memory serves correct you have a free lesson first thing. Go to the sixth floor. Find Professor Duerr. Ask her to explain Plains of Expression to you and feign a headache or lady... things. She will feel compelled to mother you and protect you from cousin Ignan Professor Storm second lesson.

I'm an expert, trust me.

Much love,