Listening attentively, Akiva pursed her lips in thought.  So, a lot of what Maiko was saying was true, but not necessarily because of her.  Akiva had seen the exes of Maiko’s life and she didn’t exactly pick partners who were known for being reliable, selfless, and caring. 

Maiko might have been the professional counselor, but it didn’t take an advanced degree to see that Maiko wasn’t exactly picking ideal relationship material.  So, some of this explaining was frankly lost on Akiva. 

She had a glimmer of hope when Maiko began describing the positives, before cursing and assuming the worst before it even happened.  “If it’s easy to be around him, then you’re not really trying that hard or forcing anything, right?” myth numbers one and two dispelled.   

“Besides,” she motioned at her with the spoon still in her hand, “anything with you is going to get weird,” a smile crawled over Akiva’s features.  She thought she was quite funny in that moment.  “That doesn’t mean it’s bad or going to go poorly.”  She paused and sniffed, “You can’t know if you’re going to… mess… things up,” word change was absolutely necessary: baby or not, Kiv was not a fan of cursing, “but if you aren’t even going to try, that’s guaranteed failure, isn’t it?”   

She finally put the spoon down and rubbed her chin with her hand, “Adon isn’t like anyone you’ve dated before,” Akiva added.  Her brother-in-law appeared tough but he had feelings – tons of them, and almost all of them strong as anything.  “Despite appearances, he’s a nice, Jewish boy.”[1]She pushed herself all the way up from the counter now, “Feed him and he’ll stick around forever.”

1.	See this calendar for the reference.

Bless her heart, Kiv really tried. On some level her words brought some sort of comfort. The humor helped relieve some of the tension, and Mai was able to smile and playfully elbow Kiv, "I'll show you weird" under her breath. She didn't need to show Akiva weird, it happened organically in approximately half of their interactions. She had plenty of exposure to that. In fact, Mai would argue that she thrived in it at this point.

As comforting as most of her words were, some of them were straight up intimidating. Feed him and he'll stick around forever??? Perhaps that was better than feeding him and having him die immediately after. That'd be horrific. Esteemed auror, cause of death: gelato, probably.

"I'm not a nice Jewish boy!" Mai exclaimed as if not being a nice Jewish boy was the end of the world. "I told Kohaku to do horrible things to a toaster oven, Kiv. That wasn't very nice." To be fair, it had been said in jest. "And I'm having a cheese war with a student. Nice people just don't have cheese wars, Akiva. They just don't. The cheese war part of me is also the relationship-sabotaging part of me."

“The best part of having a Nice Jewish Boy is that you don’t need to be one,” Akiva added with a bright, sincere smile.  Not that Akiva had ever really done anything that would disqualify her from being ‘good,’ but the thought stood.  Adon’s abundance of… feelings… could probably compensate for most people.

However, this would be a more relevant line of thought if Maiko was describing things that made her ‘bad’ at all.  Toaster oven?  Cheese war?  Akiva raised both of her eyebrows and reached up, tugging the hair tie out of her ponytail in order to fix it (curly hair was everywhere and drying from sweat… she hated that).  It was most assuredly going to frizz out even more than normal.  “Sounds like you’re a hardened criminal,” Akiva amended with a bland expression, tugging away at her hair.  “I can see how that would conflict with a potential relationship with an auror.” 

As soon as she finished, she rolled her eyes and tugged the tail tight.  Her hands shifted to her hips and she looked at her friend seriously.  “For real though,” she brought the subject back to the place it should be, “I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit.  And, of course, you’re going to mess up  - he probably will too – but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be a disaster or end poorly.  You are a good person, Maiko.  You deserve a good person.” 

From the moment she had said 'cheese war,' Mai knew that she had lost Kiv. Of course. Akiva didn't understand how important it was to protect Brie's honor against Virgil and his Camembert treachery. Yes, they were both delicious soft cheeses-- but one was significantly superior to the other. Ugh, Mai got wound up just thinking about it. Not once did she stop to consider the choices she made in life that led to her engaging in a cheese war with a seventeen year old.

 "I am a hardened criminal!" Mai exclaimed, somewhat validated by Kiv's sarcasm. She loved it when she brought out that side of her. "Next thing you know, I'll be hard boiling eggs and putting them back in the carton. Without labeling them." She paused, "Or will I intentionally hold doors open for people when they're an uncomfortable distance away?! What else would a hardened criminal do?" Calm down, Satan.

She inhaled and tried to blow some stray hairs out of her eyes with limited success. Mai tucked the stray curls behind her ear, "I mean, I know I'm a good person. But it doesn't make this less scary." A pause, "Please don't tell Dree. Unless you really, really feel like you have to. But I'd rather you didn't."

Akiva had a very difficult time hiding her amusement. She could only keep straightfaced for bursts, besides Maiko was being ridiculous.  Her sarcasm had been met with Maiko’s insistence to assume the worst thing possible would happen no matter what.  Here, her imagination had kicked into overdrive.  “A hardened criminal would not consider holding doors an offense fit for Azkaban,” she pointed out. 

It was also something that Mai needed to hear.  She couched things that were actually big concerns in humor or ridiculousness.  “That’s true,” she agreed sympathetically.  The start of a relationship was always scary.  She was about to mention the fact when Maiko asked her not to tell Dree. 

That hadn’t even crossed her mind!  Dreogan would certainly be pleased by the fact… he didn’t keep his opinions on such things secret.  And maybe they had spoken about it once (or twice).  “Of course I won’t tell him!” Akiva reached over and grabbed Mai’s hand giving it a firm, long squeeze.  She hoped Maiko would realize on her own that Dreogan probably already knew for a variety of reasons (one being his brother’s inability to keep a secret).  “I know he’d be supportive though,” she decided to add while trying to catch and maintain eye contact.  “I’m also sure he’d agree that even if it’s scary, it is worth it.”

"It's not that I don't want Dree to know!" Mai added, "It's that-- if he doesn't, then Adon hasn't told him for a reason. And I want to respect that." She explained, "But I tell you everything. You know I can't lie to you for long, Kiv! I just can't. Even if it's a nice lie." The only time she felt comfortable lying to Akiva was when she was planning some sort of surprise. But surprises weren't really lies, were they?

She heard the front door slam shut and some footsteps.

Kohaku peeked his head into the kitchen. On his shoulder was Gabriel, completely passed out and drooling a little bit.

"We ran around the park. It felt like hours. I got a cardio workout." He grinned, "He saw somebody playing guitar and couldn't stop staring. Don't worry, I didn't let him talk to any strangers." Kohaku took a seat at the table, still holding Gabe. "What did I miss when we were gone?"

"Feelings." Mai sighed, "So many feelings."

"I had feelings, once." Kohaku joked, knowing full well that nothing would get thrown in his direction while he was holding precious cargo. "Are you talking about the Sex-Education-Healer-Rage feelings or the Adon-Vaguely-Dating-Panic feelings?" He paused, "There's also the Students-Got-Kidnapped-And-Visions-Suck feelings. And the Oh-My-God-I'm-Going-To-Die-Alone feelings."

He gave Akiva a long-suffering look, "Look at what she puts us through. I'm surprised that Zumba hasn't killed you yet."

Akiva put her hands up reflexively as Maiko started to explain.  There was no need for her to explain: if she didn’t want her to tell, she wouldn’t.  “I wouldn’t want you to, anyway,” she decided to latch onto the lying bit, since that was obviously easier to talk about than keeping a secret about Adon from Dreogan.  She comforted herself with the fact that he probably already knew.  Thus, she didn’t need to tell him. She hoped.

Of course, it wasn’t soon before a distraction and she heard the door.  Like one of the many animals that graced their house (or, as Adon lovingly called it: the zoo), Akiva’s head instantly turned and she felt herself tense up a little.  Opening and closing doors that weren’t expected did not always mean good things in the Eleor home (no, she was not more paranoid!), so she felt a deep sense of relief when Kohaku peeked around, Gabriel sound asleep. 

He really was perfect when he was asleep.  Curly hair falling around his facem a little bit of drool on the corner of his mouth.  It made Akiva all soft inside every single time.  It made her want more babies. 

Brought back to reality (and soothing the baby fever just slightly), Akiva listened to the story of the park and shook her head.  “He loves when we play records,” Akiva explained.  She knew she had a musical child (and with good music skills, usually came good math skills).  “And ice cream,” Akiva tacked onto the end after Maiko indicated he’d miss feelings. 

“Do you want something to eat?” she asked without even thinking about it, moving toward the fridge seamlessly.  She was used to feeding Kohaku (anyone, really, who entered her home) and it gave her something to do other than stuff her face after being dragged to hell on earth, aka zumba. 

At least he was aware of all of her feelings.  Not that Kiv was surprised, Maiko wasn’t exactly a closed book sort of person.  “It’s only a matter of time,” she sighed as she pulled several options out for him to pick from.  “Luckily, Gabe will have you all to take care of him when it does me in,” she chuckled softly and looked back over. 

“Do you want me to take him?” she looked at the sleeping lump on Kohaku’s shoulder, “You can grab something to eat, I’ll put him down?” she made her way over, hands already out and ready to take her sleepy boy upstairs. 

Akiva could never resist Gabriel's cute, sleepy face. Already, she and Kohaku were taking bets on when she and Dree would decide to have another baby. With all the chaos lately, the timing might not have been great-- but if people waited until they were one hundred percent ready to do anything, then nothing would get done. Kohaku was betting that they would get pregnant (or adopt!) before the end of May.  At least Mai believed that the Eleors had some level of restraint.

So far, she was convinced she'd win the bet. It was already March, after all.

Kohaku handed Gabe over to Kiv. "You're such a mum, you know that right?" His tone was lightly teasing. He moved over to examine the food options, "So, when are you getting another Eleor? Do I need to tell Dree to get to work? I can do that, y'know. Completely within my realm of ability."

Mai covered her face in her hands, letting out a noise that was somewhere between a groan and a laugh. Her eyes met Akiva's, "So sorry." She mouthed, even though she still found it to be hilarious.

Accepting her groggy and grumbling son, Akiva situated his head on her shoulder and rocked lightly so he would fall back asleep and the whimpering would dissolve into nothing but light snores.  He shared that with her husband, she was afraid.  On the rare nights were Dree actually had a restful sleep it wasn’t uncommon to hear a little bit of noise coming from his side of the bed.  Now, they were just coming from next to her ear. 

Laughing lightly at Kohaku’s assessment that she was ‘such a mum,’ Akiva nodded.  “I’ve never denied it,” she pointed out. In truth, Akiva embraced the title readily.  Though, Gabriel had been more than enough for one person to handle – and even then, Akiva was lucky she had a network of people who were always willing to jump in to help her because without them she wasn’t sure either of them would have survived the experience of having Dreogan gone. 

So, when Kohaku brought up another Eleor, Akiva couldn’t help but blanche a little.  She was just getting her family back.  As much as she did want more children… she shook her head.  “The offer is sweet, really, but…” she trailed off and cleared her throat, bouncing again.  “I think we’re good for the time being.”  Maybe they would talk about it after Gabriel was potty trained.  That seemed like an appropriate time, whatever the case she waved her hand dismissively at Mai’s apology.  It wasn’t a big deal. 

“Be right back,” she finally added with a smile, “Think of all the things you need to update me on while I’m putting him down,” she added to Kohaku, who was surely more in the know about everything and anything than Akiva could ever be.  She made quick work of going upstairs and putting Gabriel in his crib, humming poorly as she did so (Akiva did not have a voice, but she tried) and as soon as she got him under his blanket and all set, she retreated with haste hoping she would not wake him.  She only breathed as soon as she left the room and came downstairs again, “So, what have you got for me?” she announced brightly as she reentered the kitchen.   

Kohaku exchanged glances with Mai as Akiva put Gabe to bed before looking over at the takeout containers. He grabbed a fork and dished up some lo mein into a coffee mug like a heathen. Because he was a decent heathen, he left plenty left for Kiv to have as leftovers. As generous as she was, he wasn't going to take advantage of it!

"It's just like Christmas eve." He grinned before taking a bite. "But without the alcohol and the drunk karaoke."

Mai waved her ice cream spoon at him, "Don't forget the dancing games." 

He rolled his eyes. Her and those dancing games. She was obsessed. And painfully competitive. Before he could respond, Akiva came back and asked for an update. Oops. He had forgotten. The look he gave her was a sheepish one. He swallowed the noodles and decided that it was verbal-vomit time in true Yukawa fashion. "Well, I followed some doctors around yesterday." He was early on in his medicine program at Uni, "I'm definitely not going to remember everything they said." He swirled some noodles around his fork, "Still single. Still haven't found a marriage to ruin."

Kohaku fixed his gaze on Akiva, "Your turn. What's your update? Besides zumba hell."

Akiva was glad to see someone was getting into the takeout leftovers.  It was a vice that she and Dreogan had indulged in more than once in the past week or so.  It wasn’t her fault, sometimes it was just easier.  Perhaps if Kohaku ate the last of it, she wouldn’t even think about it and it would force her to cook (not that she minded cooking…). 

But without Gabriel in her arms, she could lean against the counter and cross her arms lazily across her front as she listened to him start talking about doctors.  For a moment, Akiva felt her chest tighten in concern: doctors?!  But then it sunk in – that was what Kohaku was studying.  Sometimes she forgot he was a squib.  It wasn’t something Akiva thought about often.  “I’m sure you’ll remember,” Akiva comforted.  “You’re too smart to forget.”  Her grin was wide and without a hint of any irony or teasing, just genuine sweetness. 

The sweetness dipped as he declared he hadn’t found a marriage to ruin yet and she immediately set to rolling her eyes and bracing her hands against the counter.  “Well, you and Mai have that in common, don’t you?” she wrinkled her nose cutely at Maiko, “there’s still time for both of you yet, mark my words.”  She put her hand up to her face and pretended to whisper only to Kohaku, “Mai might already be working on it!  You need to catch up!” 

She cleared her throat and pretended she hadn’t said anything before seamlessly slipping into the answer of his question, “Gabriel has been practicing his favorite word: no, as I’m sure you’re aware,” she laughed lightly, “and made a marvelously horrible drawing on the wall of his bedroom last week.”  She shook her head.  Thankfully, the crayon was easy enough to remove, but it had been quite the shock when she saw it.  “He is not an artist,” she informed both of them solemnly.  “Then, your sister dragged me to Zumba and here we are.”  She unhooked her arms and spread them, palms up,  “like you said: such a mum."

Kohaku nodded gravely as she delivered her update. She knew, she knew very well that she was such a mum. And she took an immense amount of pride in it. Gabriel was a good kid, who could really blame her? He was looking forward to seeing what he would be like when he grew up. He suspected that despite the fact that he was a terrible artist, perhaps Gabe would show an interest in music. His reaction to the guitarists in the park was a promising one.

"She IS working on it." The look he gave Kiv was a conspiring one. "Next thing we know, Gabriel's going to have cousins."

Mai waved an accusing, defiant, authoritarian finger at the both of them, "No. Non. Non et non!"[1] Although she didn't blush easily, he noticed a red tint to her cheeks. Perfect.

Kohaku swallowed his bite and shrugged in the most condescendingly casual way possible, "Want to take bets on this, Akiva?" All he wanted, really, was to get her to join in on tormenting his sister. It was his job. No-- it was his responsibility, his moral duty. He didn't exactly have money to bet on, but he could provide something else if he actually lost. Like babysitting services. Or he could promise to teach Gabe football...

Okay, he was going to do that anyway.

1.	Roughly translates to, "Absolutely not/no way!

Cackling was not generally what Akiva did when she laughed, but at this moment there was no other way to classify the sound coming out of her mouth.  She could always count on Kohaku to not only take what she said and make it hundred times worse. 

Though Akiva didn’t speak French, she understood the basic sentiment: no.
Plus, she could tell based on Maiko’s finger waving.  As she had learned from watching some very strange television shows[1], women tended to only wag their fingers when they were especially upset.

Of course, something else she had learned from the very same program that was when your friend was upset about something hilarious, it was clearly an invitation to be even worse.  “How long until Gabriel’s got cousins? Or until she ruins her own marriage?” Akiva pursed her lips and then looked over at Maiko with the angry flush still coloring her cheeks. 

Kiv’s expression softened from cheeky to sincere (she was hardly capable of being horrible to Maiko for very long).  “Well, I wager in the next two years on the former, and hopefully neither of us will live to see the day for the latter.” She turned her adoring gaze toward Maiko and beamed, “Gabriel would love a cousin or two that wasn’t covered in fur… intentionally.”  She rolled her neck to look at Kohaku, “from either of the Yukawas.”

1.	The Real Housewives franchise began in 2006.  If you have ever seen an episode, you know this phenomenon to be true.

Mai could feel the heat rising to her face. Half of her wanted to laugh, the other half wanted to throw something at them. There was nothing soft enough in her immediate vicinity. Gabriel's wooden toys would've caused too much damage, and Mai wasn't willing to risk her gelato spoon either.

"You two," She said, "Are the worst." Especially when Kiv cackled like... A metaphor was lost on Mai. And she didn't care. It didn't really matter-- cackling was involved, which meant that her mischevious, evil side was showing. Even if it was at her expense, Mai wasn't even allowed to be upset; #EvilKiv was a delightful rarity.

She did her best to give Akiva the most 'I'm totally done with this bullshit' expression, but Mai couldn't hold it for long. She was too amused. "The next two years?!" Mai shook her head, "That's.... Ambitious." She had nothing more to say on that. Some days, she absolutely wanted kids. Other days, no. She also wasn't so sure she wanted biological kids! Just thinking about the whole thing made her lowkey anxious. For now, her fur-babies would be enough.

"I'm still in school!" Kohaku protested, "I'm practically an infant! I can barely take care of myself. Give me ten years, then we'll talk about me getting Gabriel some cousins." His smile was good natured. Like most people, he could never be genuinely upset with Akiva for too long.  Still, that response surprised Mai-- she hadn't really known whether or not he wanted kids in the future. Yes, he was good with them-- but being good with kids didn't necessarily mean that parenting was in your future.