NOT SO MR. NICE GUY? LET US KNOW!

Balfour Spectre's reputation as one of the Ministry's most charming bachelors is quickly coming under fire. Has the popular wizard secretly been nursing a jealous streak?

Former lovers and partners are encouraged to write in with their tales of woe! Send your owls to our usual address and we'll print the most revealing stories!

Beasts of Bureaucracy:
10 Hottest Ministry Men

By, Adorabella Cox

My dear readers, it has been so long since I have addressed all of you!  To explain my disappearance, as I feel I have a duty to tell you the reason for my unexpected departure, I have been undercover at the ministry for going on ten months.  Now, I cannot tell you where I worked and what I was doing there, as that would just lose all the fun of having a pseudonym, but as I leave the Ministry for another investigate assignment, I must say what I learned there was most usually boring, but at times, there were certain subjects that caught my eye. 

So, given my propensity toward a wandering eye, I decided my assignment would be to inform all of the lovely witches of the world of the sexiest men in bureaucracy.  With the deepest confidence, I must tell you, while it was difficult to accumulate the names for this list, it was not because there was a plethora to choose from, believe me!  But, I must inform you, as it is approaching that wonderful holiday, Valentine’s Day, I present to you a list of some of the most delectable men the Ministry has to offer us.   

 

2.  Adon Eleor Now, ladies, this is truly another example of why the Auror office is just teaming with masculine energy.  Mr. Adon Eleor, recently transferred (within the past year or so, I believe) from Israel, not only does he have a certain… foreigner’s charm about him, but there is a deep mystery about his past.  He has not betrayed himself to me in any way, instead, he chooses to remain cool and aloof, never betraying the information that might give you a glimpse into his soul.  Of course, when looking at his face, you might just catch a glimpse of that soul through the large, dark brown eyes. Of course, that does not mean there are a shortage of rumors about this mysterious man.  Indeed, he is an enigma and just like we may never know just why he has those all too intriguing (and sexy) scars on one side of his face, we may just never know what depths the waters of his soul conceal.  I have heard rumor that there is a lucky lady in this man’s life, but nothing more than that.  I am starting to think that perhaps it is his protective mechanism, as a man this mysterious cannot possibly see the need for a woman trying to break through the hard layers he has constructed for himself.  I would not be deterred from trying, however.  Tenderness is a cure-all for the hardened man.

3.  Alberic Grimm Another mystery.  Now, it should come to no surprise that this man of mystery is related to the one above.  Of course, working in completely different portions of the ministry, it gives some home to those that are not exactly attracted to the uniform types that there is some hope!  Alberic Grimm is a necromancer by trade (romance in the title, I don’t think I would even need to mention such a thing) and integral to day to day functions of the spirit division.  Running with a more pureblooded and aristocratic sort, I have been privy to some information that he was seen at lunch with one Liadán O’Moiran, which is quite telling.  The young blonde recently experienced a bit of trouble on the farm she inherited from her parents, perhaps it was a consultation about the removal of dangerous poltergeists?  Whatever the case, we can be assured that this man has no history of long term engagements with anyone and his schedule, unless you are a ghost, appears to always be too busy.  It does not mean, however, the wandering eye cannot be taken with such an intelligent and important figure.

4.  Archer Radley We move back to level two, ladies.  It just seems it’s so hard to find good men these days that aren’t married to their jobs, and Mr. Radley here is no exception.  A former Hufflepuff, he’s clearly got a lot of loyalty and diligence along with the stature of a small giant.  This experienced auror is a Puddlemere United fan and not afraid to tell anyone who might be interested in hearing.  Now, what information I could gather suggests that Mr. Radley is not as hard and serious as he appears.  He has a large family that he appears to be at least partially affectionate with (good to know, ladies) and two equally as impressive brothers whom I will have to detail at a later date!  Now, word is about the ministry that this tall, dark, and handsome man was once attached to the Aide to the Minister, Claudia Vespucciano.  This affair is said to have gone down in flames, however, and because of this, Mr. Radley threw himself at his work without the solace of a soft, warm pair of arms in its stead.  I have been able to discover very little about his romantic life, which might just indicate that this hunky auror is all alone on Valentine’s Day this year.  Simply tragic!

 

7.  Edward Pratt I can confidently report that this is the last of the level two employees, ladies!  I must also add, maybe last but not least.  Edward Pratt is a charming devil with a smile to match.  And this Valentine’s season, this is a man who has been through oh-so much!  Whispers of a wife who does not appreciate him and five children under 11 who are all begging to be loved and taken care of by a hard working man., vibrate through the hallowed halls of the ministry.  It really is a sad state of affairs considering he is a man who is entrusted with so much responsibility (he recently stepped in for the Head of Aurors, Tamis Raynor, after a surprise attack), but cannot manage his personal life at this time.  Perhaps though it is because there is not someone more understanding at home waiting for him?  I would think so, ladies.  He is compassionate, loyal, and intelligent – all of the qualities an auror should have, along with having a sense of humor, which in that line of work could be the difference between handling the pressure and going absolutely mad.  It seems the only thing he is threatened to go mad with though is the lack of love in his life this Valentine’s Day.  Send him much love (and perhaps money to feed his amassing quidditch team).

And that concludes this segment!  I hope you have all enjoyed, and please, if you find yourself crossing the paths of any of these men and have a tantalizing and titillating story, don’t be afraid to submit it!  Until we meet again – xoxoxo.

To: A. Eloer, Department of Magical Law Enforcement
From: B Spectre

Dear 2

How could a wizard possibly refuse to meet, with such incentive as large, dark brown eyes and masculine energy? While I have never attributed consistency to Witch Weekly, you do make a valid point - if it is in fact the point you intend to make over lunch. Merlin knows what depths the waters of your soul conceal.

Will Thursday at Alohomocha's suit? Unless more substantial nourishment is necessary for the subject at hand. By the by, I have a young cousin who will not forgive me if I don't obtain an autographed copy of this clipping.


Beastmaster,