Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Dearest Ari,

How is my favourite niece? I can't quite believe it's almost a month since Christmas. It seems like only yesterday it was terrible jokes about your father's broken balls with aunt Andie.

How many points have you docked Gryffindor since getting back, little prefect? Have you managed to take a boat out on the lake like you were hoping, or has winter put a halt on that. I hope nobody is trying to swim in it for that seventh year bucket thing you told me about at Christmas. You'll catch death. To that extent - don't fall in if you do go sailing. You need to graduate from Hogwarts at least before you break your neck.

Speaking of necks, did you get to hear Violet Islington speak earlier this week? Had I thought I should have written you earlier to insist you did. What was the general opinion of your classmates? I wrote to Islington and to Storm. The latter is just abrupt by letter I note!

Islington and I are to meet for dinner. Despite my role and my experience, I can't help but hesitate when a vampire sends a dinner invitation. Much like if Claude invited a mouse to dinner, a tiny part of me wonders if I am dinner. Though I understand Islington touched on that?

Talking of Claude, too, the toy mouse you gave him for Christmas is done. He enjoyed it so much he's torn it to pieces, but it did give the rug by the fireplace some reprieve. Let me know where you found it, and I shall buy half a dozen more, though knowing cats, he'll probably ignore a replacement.

Have a good weekend. Send me an owl when you take a break from all the fun.

Lots of love,

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School

Dear Uncle Ceph,

I am well as can be for being back here, chained to a desk, pouring over an incredibly difficult essay for Transfiguration. I can't quite believe how many essays I have to write this term. There isn't a subject I do that doesn't require like ten feet of crap every month as well as learning all the practical. SAVE ME. It feels like TEN YEARS SINCE CHRISTMAS ALREADY.

Speaking of stupid essays, please can you send me your NEWT Transfiguration notes that you said you found at Christmas? I left them and if I ask grandma or grandpa to owl them they won't because they aren't kind and awesome and the BEST like you.

I want to go on the lake but it's been so busy with homework and people and everything it's been impossible. I am going to try but when the weather gets better I'll feel a bit more inclined to bother, you know? No idiot would swim in the lake at this time of year. Even the squid would throw them out. Thanks for telling me I can break my neck after I leave. That's really caring, uncle.

I did get to go to Islington's talk. Professor Storm made it compulsory, or implied really really hard if it wasn't. I didn't dare defy for the sake of avoiding a troll on my next essay. He's still an arsehole, yes.

She was quite fascinating, truth to be told. There were some stupid questions about biting for pleasure or something which I knew a bit about already from Dad. Oh gosh don't ask me how - you probably already know, ew ew ew. It was all a bit mixed. Everyone's interested in finding out about vampires when they are real and speaking. Lots of people thought her fangs would be bigger. IDK - it's a bit weird. I hope people listened because it was really interesting, but I think a lot of people went to just stare?

Please be careful when you go for dinner with her. I don't want a vampire for an uncle. I would still love you and all, as best I could, but I don't think I could cope with you looking younger than me forever. I still say if you put your old uniform on you could pass for a sixth year. DON'T HEX ME BY LETTER FOR THAT. ILU REALLY.

Give my love to Major Buttlicker too. I can't believe he's already chewed through that mouse. I'm going to charm the next one so it fights back. Bet he won't chew it then. I got it from the magical menagerie in Diagon Alley, nowt special. He's your cat, not you.

OH! Yeah can you also send me Claude's date of birth. We're doing familiar calculations in Arithmancy and I want to use you and him for it.

YOU'RE THE BEST

Ari xxx

Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Dearest Ari,

Did I imply you could break your neck? I am a bad uncle, of course you’re not allowed to do it on purpose, but physically of course it is possible. Don’t try to prove the hypothesis.

Transfiguration notes enclosed. Don’t think too poorly on my 17 year old self please. I was too busy suppressing my terrible crush on Roger Davies from the other side of the dormitory. For the record, saying to people you were in the same dorm as him tends to win you female friends, rather than the male ones you were hoping for.

Biting for pleasure…? Oh Ari. When did you grow up?! If I must I shall explain further over drinks at the end of term. No, I’ve not felt driven to ask a vampire for such, and it would be incredibly unwise given my role to do so. But yes, it does happen. Even humans can bite each other in the height of pleasure. I’m not quite sure how I’m giving you advice on this subject given Ri’s inability to find shame in talking about it at the dinner table over Christmas. But yes, over beer, Ari. Not in a letter. They might confiscate it and some things I’ve done don’t stand being written down.

Claude is purring like the Hogwarts Express on my lap as I write to you. He’s determined I shouldn’t be writing to you but petting him with both hands. He was born 7th October 2004 to the best of my knowledge. Do send me a copy of your analysis, I shall read it to him and let you know his thoughts on the results. He’s being clingy because I’ve been out and he’s missed me. At least this is what I will believe.

Off to nurse a hangover, dear niece. Have a good week.

Lots of love,

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School

Dear Uncle Ceph,

You're the best. I hope you know that. Like 1500% better than any other Gamp.

OMG how did you never tell me about your crush on Roger Davies? If you ever want to, you know, write him again, signed photo would be lovely...

Sorry this is so short, I promise I will write again soon when I don't have to write a zillion essays.

Ari xxx

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School

Dear Uncle Ceph,

Mercy. Mercy I say. Is it the end of term yet? I seriously feel homework is drowning me, and I haven't even got to revision.

However, it is Hogsmeade weekend, so a faint glimmer of light in escaping for a while with distraction, until I remembered it falls right before Valentines Day. Ew ew ew! That means that everywhere will be full of people trying to eat each others faces off. I can think of little else that would ruin a trip to Hogsmeade village than that. Well, short of a fireball and dementors and the Three Broomsticks running out of butterbeer. Seriously, nothing can make it worse.

Are you about that weekend? Would be great to see you! Don't tell mum though, she'll get jealous. If I meet up with you then I don't have to answer awkward questions about boyfriends. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to pretend to like someone like that.

What's been happening? I check the Prophet for signs of you, mum and aunt Andie but feel so cut off up here. Not that I am imploring you write more often. But I might have to swim in the Black Lake otherwise.

JOKING.

Write back soon!

Ari xxx

Several anguished letters are exchanged in mid February regarding Mortimer and Lyra. Ariadne is very upset, naturally, but they are separated by letters.

Determined not to let the divide grow any larger, Cepheus endeavours to write more often.

Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Dearest Ari,

I know your dad was up to see you today, but I thought there wouldn’t be any harm in another letter. We’ve just been out for a truly terrible burger in Muggle London, and I have eaten, far, far too much. Had it been a reunion in more auspicious circumstances we’d probably be out saturating it, but me and Aunt Andie had quite enough the other night as I confessed... Claude keeps meowing because Orion is breathing beef fumes on his face and that doesn’t taste the same as his cat food.

Claude came back, thankfully. Turns out Callie had ‘borrowed’ him for a few days. She also did a bit of a hairdo on him, which will grow out in a little while I’m sure, but he has quite literally had a close shave. Nate discovered him at their place and they came over this morning to bring him home. Despite his ordeal, he seems to have partly forgiven Callie. Nate’s well, got a new girlfriend, and it was good to talk crap as ever.

I also went over to see Primrose today. No, not planning our wedding, but we’d made arrangements to go riding. It’s been a year or two, maybe more, since I last rode, so I’m feeling it now to say the least. Your dad has launched the full book of jokes about walking funny at me since getting here. Thankfully the Woolfolks have a steady one, and I didn’t fall straight off the other side, so I consider the outing an achievement. Prim is glowing, happier than I have seen her in a long time. A welcome change, as you can quite appreciate.

Tomorrow we will meet Aunt Andie and Solly and go to the house as the Ministry say they have finished their work there. Solly’s been staying with Andie and apparently her flat is so clean you could eat your dinner off the floor. She must be very stressed, poor elf. Hopefully we will be able to sort everything out tomorrow and start making arrangements to fix the damage. It is still the home of the Gamp family, and we’re determined our generation will be a better Gamp.

Lots of love,

Cepheus Gamp
312c Diagon Alley
London

Ariadne Gamp
Gryffindor House
Hogwarts School

Dear Uncle Ceph,

Thank you for writing me so many letters. It’s good to hear what is going on, even if I’m not with you. I miss you all lots, and please hide Dad’s passport and everything so he can’t leave the country. We need to all be together.

How was the house? Is it really bad? Can it be fixed? I know it’s not where it happened, but I am still super creeped out by it. Everyone’s avoiding me[1] and I’ve decided to camp out in the boat house. Nobody will bother coming in here in February, and I can cast enough warming charms to be comfortable as I do my homework. See, practising for my NEWTs. I can set up a charmed central heating business when I’m done here. Business plan, done.

You on a horse!? Please tell me there is photographic evidence of this event. I am glad everyone is happy, but POOR CLAUDE. How could Nate let such an atrocity happen this week!! I thought he was your bessie!

Love

Ari xxx

1.	Ariadne’s more avoiding them, in honesty