The library at the beginning of the year was sparsely populated, almost bleak. Grey winter light filtered in through the tall windows, highlighting dust accumulated over break; the sussurus of books rustling their pages, the gentle clinking of the Restricted Section chains, had little competition in the academic hush. Progressively into the school year, the library would fill with students. Progressively their whispers would become ever more frantic as exams loomed. But for now, after the initial flurry of students procuring textbooks, things were quiet. Long papers and difficult homework had not yet been assigned.

Landis looked forward to the calm beginning of the year. He kept things so organized he hadn't yet much work to be done, and he could concentrate on other projects or even leave the library in the custody of his student helpers for long periods of time. He stood behind the check in desk, his countenance strict and eternally watchful. But looking out over the few groups of students with their heads bent quietly reading lulled him, it must be admitted, into complacency. It was - dare he say it - almost peaceful.

M for partial nudity and Eli's antics

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Eli Amherst always thrived in chaos. He enjoyed shenanigans, and always tried to get his friends to join in with him. His father called it 'sheer stupidity.' Eli called it a type of genius. His Aunt Margo always had his back anyway. She knew how to find humor in the situations that Eli got himself into. And she would find humor in this one. His goal today: To traumatize the librarian.

He had walked into the library, cloak fastened tightly around him. From the corner of his eye he saw Landis. The most perfect witness.

Eli had cased the place out, and discovered where the most sturdy bookcases were. Out of sight, he began to scale the side of the bookcase.

"OI, MORGAN LE FAY[1]!" Eli shouted, stripping off his cloak and chucking it at Landis' head.Eli was wearing nothing except for a thong, with a niffler's face on the front. His wand was taped to his chest.

"It's niffler time."  He stage whispered, smiling devilishly. The niffler on his crotch made a squeaking noise.

The Slytherin hopped from one bookcase to the next and began to run, the niffler nose bouncing with each movement and squeaking as he went. Although the shelves were sturdy, they still rocked under the shifting of his weight.

1.	Dark witch, Merlin's arch nemesis.

The quiet was rent with an unflattering comparison - Amherst had struck again. Landis' mood soured so quickly that if he were milk he'd have curdled.

"Merlin wept," he hissed under his breath, hand twitching for his wand. Atop the shelves Eli bounded showing a truly offensive amount of skin. For about a second Landis considered siccing the gargoyle who guarded the library doors on him, only the thing was doubled over in silent laughter and at any rate at that gargoyle's speed it would take entirely too long. No. No. He knew something much quicker.

At the stern directive of his wand the top of the next bookcase in Eli's path sprouted into a wall. It was such a rapid transfiguration that the wood stretched into creation with an audible thunderclap, a sound almost as ominously reverberating as the effect when Eli slammed into said wall. The bookcase rocked below the lad, and then at Landis' continued directive proceeded to bend over and shake its parasite off.

It was only, oh, a ten or fifteen foot drop. Landis was disinclined to be sympathetic. The niffler's panicked squeaking was soothing to his soul.

Kelvin was deep into the book he was reading.  It had started out as finishing up an essay but he'd finished with that and was just reading the entire book for the enjoyment of it.  Of course with one shout, he was pulled out of the book and after his eyes found the sight of a nearly nude seventh, he wasn't able to look away.

When the niffler squeaked, he couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, despite his best efforts since despite the antics going on it was still the library.  The squeaking niffler thong did make it even harder not to stare as Eli jumped and ran across the shelves and Kelvin jumped in his seat at the sound of thunder and finally was able to look away when the Slytherin hit the wall. 

That was why you didn't piss off the librarian.  The man was not one to go lightly.  And Eli was in the man's house.  He'd hate to see what happened to a Gryffindor who pulled a stunt like that.

It was definitely time to leave.  Kelvin stood up and grabbed the book, sliding it into his bag. Finally noticing that his enjoyment of the older boy's display was a bit too evident now that he was standing.  "Dammit"  He muttered.  Kelvin picked up his bag, and holding it in front of him, quietly made his way out of the library.

Eli and his little niffler felt free right up until the moment he gloriously slammed into a bookcase that was set on destroying his fun. With loud, dramatic groans comparable to the sounds of a wounded, plankton-starved humpback whale. Then, he was dropped to the floor. The whale songs increased in both volume and intensity. The little niffler sang along, squeaking with a panicked fervor that was distinctly shrill.

The Slytherin, instead of getting up to his feet like any sort of reasonable person, rolled on his side in Landis' general direction. It clearly took more effort than walking would have. During this process, he was still making noises, though they grew quieter as he settled himself down and prepared himself for whatever punishment Landis was going to lay on him.

His dark eyes met Landis' soul-less ones as he waited. The niffler whimpered.

Landis stalked closer. Indeed, any Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff would be dead. Certainly their house points would be in the negatives. But no, this was one of his wards, though he loathed to admit such a disgrace belonged to his house. He stopped a few feet away from Eli, looking down at the boy's slug impression, and wondered how unclean he'd feel for Silencio-ing that thong.

"Amherst." His voice was low but poisonous. "I can't imagine what made you think anyone wanted to see that unimpressive display." Behind them the books that had been shaken off the bookcase along with Eli began to reshelve themselves at the flick of his wand. He noted the bravery involved in this foolish prank - noted and wanted to crush it, though unfortunately Amherst often seemed inexhaustible. Normally Landis was happy to assign detention cleaning toilers, or the soul-sapping dullness of organizing the reference section by hand. But not this time. Such a creative prank deserved a creative punishment. He glanced out one of the tall, narrow windows. The sky was foreboding, an ominous overcast that promised low temperatures and wind sharp as a knife. Snow was falling in fat frigid flakes. It was still on the ground from yesterday as well but eh, the boy wouldn't die. If he froze his niffler off, well. There were spells for that sort of thing.

"Since you seem to have lost yours, why don't I escort you down to Hogsmeade to buy new robes?" It was phrased like a generous offer, but the tone, his expression, they were the opposite of comforting. He snapped his fingers and pointed to a 6th year staring at them by the tables. She hurried over at once, wise enough not to object to his method of summoning. He told her, "Watch the library. I will return momentarily," before he turned back to Eli. He gestured imperiously towards the door. "We should stop by the dorm to retrieve your savings first. Sets of students clothing can be so expensive."

Landis spoke, his voice dark, foreboding, ominous.

Eli knew that he would not let the librarian crush his spirit. If seven years of detentions didn't do it, nothing would. He was immune to most punishments. Librarian Morgan likely knew that Eli had no pride. Or at least, his pride was a different sort than most other people's. For that very reason, he would pick something special.

The weather outside was cold, hostile,and cruel. Only a sadist would make somebody walk all the way to Hogsmeade without any clothes on. It was abuse! He was skeptical that Landis could actually get away with it. However, it didn't stop him from following his foolish, reckless impulses.

Eli gazed up at Landis seductively, biting his lower lip.

"Oh, Mr. Morgan!" He breathed, "Are you ready to show the world how we really feel about each other?" Standing up with catlike grace, he continued.  "Finally, everybody knows that our lust has no bounds."  The niffler moaned.

Eli leaned forward, flexing his glorious pecs. "Do you want to show all of this--" He snapped the elastic of his thong, gasping pleasurably-- "Off?"