Valentine’s Day was silly and superficial, Jordyn and Jai could both agree on that. Yet, the excuse to be extra romantic and sweet to Jordyn was hard for Jai to resist. He loved making her smile, making her feel special. It wasn’t common for Jai to spend 45 minutes picking out the right outfit. He used beard oil for the first time, making him less scraggly. Jordyn apparently liked the beast-man look, and Jai had to admit that it was keeping his face warm in the winter.

He didn’t know what the rules were on Apparating in and out of Hogsmeade were when there were students there. The last time he had Apparated somewhere nearby and had taken his broom with him for the rest of the time. He was then forced to carry a broom around with him for the rest of their date. Not spectacularly romantic.

Jai managed to get himself there, on a bench near the main road where the students were dropped. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do together. Now that Jordyn was 17, he wondered more about what the Hogwarts Apparation rules were about.

He watched the street, a little nervously at that. Ever since the explosion, or rather since Jai remembered the explosion - he’d been even more worried than usual about being in public. He was shaky, ready for the walls to cave in or to be thrown back into the flames. Jai focused of thoughts of Jordyn, which became naughty in a very short amount of time. Jai was now smiling and even more impatient.

So. Jordyn hated Valentine’s day.  She hated it on principle.  Mostly because for the past several years of Valentine’s Days she was the fake girlfriend of somebody else!  It really put a damper on the whole thing – even if she had gotten presents from Julian and Devlin both, it didn’t make up for the fact that it was a sullen enough holiday to lament her lack of real love life.  But she guessed this Valentine’s day it was different. 

She actually had a boyfriend – a real one.  Genuine boyfriend to do real boyfriend things with! 

It was too bad that Jordyn had the worst cold. 

Honestly, she’d drank every pepper up she could brew.  She had lived strictly on tea and soup for a week!  And still, her nose was leaking her eyes were red… it took everything in her to actually put on an outfit for Hogsmeade instead of just rolling out of bed and leaving in her pajamas like she wanted to.

She’d done her best to hide it.  She hadn’t written of it at all in any of her letters.  She just hoped it would be done and over with by the time the weekend rolled around.  But no.  Still a holiday reindeer without any of the cheer.  Clutching her cloak around her, she cursed under her breath.  What kind of future healer couldn’t get rid of cold?!  It was pure torture.

And of course, in the second half of her last school year it made her question her entire life path.  Maybe that was part of the problem: that lack of sleep with worries.  Thankfully, some cosmetic magic and both the evidence of sleepless nights and the insufferable plague, Jordyn attempted to add a spring to her step as she approached where Jai told her to meet.

“Hello!” she called out in a stuffy voice, quickly clearing her throat in an attempt to dislodge any blockages that would make her voice break in such an unflattering way, picking up the pace toward him.

Jai waited nervously for Jordyn to show up. All of the passers-by could tell what he was doing; some looked at him pitifully, assuming his valentine had stood him up. The pressure was really starting to get to him when Jordyn finally came running up to him. It was like all judgmental bystanders had never existed -- the wait hardly seemed to matter at all.

With his free hand he gave Jordyn a hug and kissed her neck while he was there. He noticed that her nose was a little red and swollen, and in her greeting her voice sounded deeper than usual. “Feeling okay, Jord?” he asked with some concern. It didn’t look like she was deathly ill; there was still a spring in her step, and she hadn’t mentioned anything in her letters.

He handed her the large heart-shaped box of chocolates, a traditional gift not just for Valentines day but for Jordyn specifically. Every present-giving occasion was supplemented by chocolate (or some kind of sweet). If all else failed, Jai knew that he could trust the chocolate to please Jordyn.

“Where do you wanna go?” he asked next, slipping one of his hands into hers. He scanned the street, now buzzing with Hogwarts students. Just a few minutes ago the place had been practically deserted -- it had made Jai wonder how the shopkeepers felt about all of the students invading their businesses once a month.

Oh no!  Horror.  Shock.  Terror.

All the overdramatic feelings that could fill a girl up when she heard her boyfriend ask if she was feeling okay hit Jordyn like a series of tidal waves – with incessant regularity for about ten seconds as he hugged her and kissed her in a way that made her already flushed face turn a little pinker. 

Clearing her throat, Jordyn tried to fix her voice and smiled despite the fact she could almost feel her nose leaking.  Ugh! She’d blame it on the chill in the air.  “I’m wonderful,” she squeezed him and placed a kiss on his cheek – carefully avoiding lips to avoid getting him sick. 

That was going to be hard to explain.  How would she manage?  Ugh! 

Again, she let out a little cough and blinked as he produced a giant box.  “Chocolate!” she declared happily and took it, “Thank you, Jai!” she leaned in again and kissed his cheek on her tiptoes.  “This is lovely,” she looked down at the box in her hands, “I mean thank you, Jai. Really.”   She smiled and tucked it into the very large inside pocket of her cloak  - relishing in the warmth for a moment. 

Her hand brushed against the box of truffles she’d gotten from the elves.  They weren’t her favorite but they were spiced chocolate and she knew Jai enjoyed spicy things.  Wrapping her fingers around it.  She had a very quick reply to his question: “Indoors!” she declared with enthusiasm.  “And I need to give you your gift," she added entwining her previously free hand with his.  "Maybe somewhere warm?" she added hopefully, trying not to sniffle too loudly.

Jai tended to be over-the-top when it came to gifting Jordyn. He could never get her just one thing - could never keep it that simple. It was a habit of his, it felt like a compulsion. It didn’t feel like a bad one, it wasn’t hurting anyone. He didn’t know where else to put his money, there were always extra dollars that kept the numbers in his bank account uneven. And Jordyn was usually on his mind anyway. Valentine’s day was the perfect time to act on it.

They started moving towards somewhere warm, Jai towering over Jord. He hooked her under his arm and into a well-lit place, which in his head mapped out to be a cafe similar to the one that they’d met in but not the one that would be overcrowded with snogging third years. Which, to be fair, was also why they met.

But his navigation had been a little off. Strange for Jai, but then again he had recently suffered a massive head injury. Instead of the cool coffee shop he’d stopped in before, just to check that it was actually as cool and private as advertised[/i] -- he was faced with three porcelain dolls in frilly dresses.  By his quick count there were 16 portraits of cats; he knew because there were two rows of five,  and one of six. He never would have brought Jordyn to such an asymmetrical place like this. The cats were in various states of emotion -- some angrily meowed at their arrival, others jumped to the corner of the frame.

“What?” Jai blurted.

Immediately one of the cats turned into a woman smaller than even Jordyn, whose large watery eyes seemed to make up half of her appearance. Her sudden arrival made Jai jump back, but she did not seem phased. His next feeling was confusion, since at least everything with the portraits was in order… but where in the bloody hell were they?

“Welcome,” she croaked happily.

Jordyn was just so happy to be going indoors.  She tucked the present back into the pocket in her cloak.  She’d give it to him when they were safely tucked away from the cold and wind indoors.  She would be happy then, her nose would be less runny and she would be able to hide the fact that her throat was screaming and she wanted to cough so badly. 

But, she just squeezed his hand and let him lead the way – trying to focus on the warmth of his hand even through her glove rather than the throat and the cough and the nose… So focused on this goal, Jordyn didn’t notice the storefront or even the bell when they walked in…

But she did notice everything upon entering.  Lace. Everywhere.  It was like the nightmare of what she thought Puddifoot’s had been in the past… sure, now it was a little more of a chill tea place now, but she’d heard stories – mostly from reminiscing professors and whatnot… but this… this was its own kind of horror.  The plates on the wall were mewing and there were dolls… so many dolls.  Jordyn could swear she saw them blinking.

Feeling suddenly woozy, Jordyn gripped his hand tighter and her eyes rolled back a little.  She tried not to let her knees shake.  Impossible.  This was bloody impossible.  And it was so warm.  Oh gosh. 

“Um…” Jordyn sucked her lips in and just thought for a second, “Oh hello,” her mouth twitched and she shifted anxiously, “Hi.”  So elegant and put together. 

As Jordyn and Jai gaped, the bird-like woman shuffled her way behind the front desk. Jai finally managed to pull his jaw from the ground and pull himself together. He discreetly attempted to pull out of this situation, never to return, no questions asked. But when he glanced out the window, he saw that the weather was worse than it had been when they ran inside this garish place. Jord was sick, and the last thing he wanted to do was get her even more ill before her last few months at Hogwarts.

There was only one option.

At the very least, this place would be entertaining. Jai twitched at every decoration he discovered, using his last bits of patience to avoid rearranging them all.

Jai realized that there had been a long wait since the last time anyone had spoken. Apparently, so had the woman. She cleared her throat and raised her eyebrows. “Ahem…” she said, as if she’d interrupted something other than the conversation they weren’t having. “Welcome,” she began confidently, “My name is Mildred Minklewoose.” She peered at the collection of cat-themed clocks on the wall.

“It’s just about tea time.” She cracked a smile so wide that it looked like her wrinkled face might break. “Then again, it’s always tea time here at the Minklewoose Sprinkle Spoon.” She said the tongue-twister of a name as easily as if it were her own. She stopped walking and put on her split-face (creepy) smile and looked up at Jai. He noticed that her teeth were yellowing, and he couldn’t help but scrunch his nose. Mildred didn’t seem to notice. “The Sprinkle is for the biscuits. We have,” she looked over at Jordyn in the same over-enthusiastic manner, “the best bakery you’ll find here.” She chuckled a bit, then added, “We’re Hogsmeade’s best-kept secret.” She continued to chuckle at her own joke as she resumed leading them into another room.

Jordyn could not believe this. 

She had never even heard of this place.  How long had it been here?  Why had no one heard about it?  It was as though it were dropped in the center of the town just to serve as another way to torture her and her boyfriend.  Whatever cruelty that was bestowed upon them, this was pretty high up on the list, Jordyn inwardly huffed. 

She would have been content to tiptoe backwards as the prolonged silence continued – she tugged Jai’s hand, but to no avail.  He decided to make noise instead, which caused Jordyn to pause and the inwardly shrink as small as possible.  Perhaps that feeling would conjure up some innate ability to become invisible.  Well, not really… if that were possible it would have happened ten thousand times over by now.  Certainly, she’d be intimately acquainted with it. 

No luck, unfortunately. 

She was clearly still there and when she started speaking again, she just… it was like Jordyn’s brain had to shut down to avoid actually realizing what was happening around her.  She noted how the woman sort of looked like a slightly smooshed jack-o-later: with that grin!  It made Jordyn’s insides twist.  She was so scary. 

And this place was scary, she ducked whenever she heard a kitten mewl – thinking something was going to jump out at her.  Who knew what was in this place?  Jordyn squeezed Jai’s hand harder.  This was terrifying.  Holding her breath as they crossed into the second room, Jordyn exhaled (ow! Throat!) and looked around.  Oh Merlin.

“How… quaint,” Jordyn observed and the old witch tittered excitedly at her.  Oh gosh.  She thought that was positive.  Tables were covered in doilies, candles everywhere – a living fire hazard – and Jordyn could not smell it – but she imagined it must be sugary sweet – and mildly musty from all the candle flames and smoke.  It was indeed, quite hazy.  “Seat yourselves, children!” the old woman clapped her hands (did Jordyn imagine the dust flying from between her palms?) before gesturing.  “You have the pick of the house.”

Indeed. 

There was not another living soul there.  “Thank you,” she said weakly and the old woman tottered off – something about menus before Jord looked up at Jai and harshly whispered:  “What are we going to do!?” 

Although it didn’t seem possible, the situation managed to get worse. This was the furthest thing from a Valentine’s atmosphere that he could imagine. Jordyn was wheezing her way through the house, flinching every time a cat sounded.  Bloody creatures -- as if this scene wasn’t tragic enough. Jai picked up on the problem and rubbed her back while Mildred babbled on about the cakes.

Once the lady’s back was turned, having left them with instructions to seat themselves. The moment that Mildred was out of earshot, Jordyn asked what they should do. He grabbed her hand and peeked around the corner, then pulled her in the direction of the exit.

As if she had sensed it, Mildred popped back in. “Shall I make a spot of tea?” she asked as she entered the room, Noticing that the youths had moved, she assumed she knew exactly what they had been trying to do. “Bathroom’s upstairs, loves, but I’d prefer it one at a time, at least while I’m up and about!” She cracked a smile  -- almost literally, her skin was so wrinkled -- and continued, “Don’ worry, my dears; later on, the cats will drown you out with their songs.” She gave a wink-wink nudge-nudge to the couple and puttered off to the kitchen again.

Jai was aghast. He turned to Jordyn and just began stuttering. “I- I - Wha - Do we even - Is she even - Did she just say? --” and by the time he had managed to bring his gibberish to an end, Mildred was back. For such an ancient looking woman, she sure was quick.

“That was - fast,” Jai stammered, still reeling from his babbling. Mildred nodded proudly, looking quite pleased with herself. “Well that’s very nice of you to say, there - what were your names, again?”

Somehow giving this woman his name felt like an even bigger violation than the insinuations she’d just made. “Nelson-” he started to say, for some bizarre reason that he didn’t think he could ever explain. His eyes darted around to help him create the second name in his identity. From the corner of his eye he saw one of the bazillion cats pounce, and out of his mouth came “Mousesquirter” before he could think it through.

He coughed and committed to the name. “Nelson Mousesquirter.” Jai stood up proudly but anyone who knew him well could see the lie show up in his big brown eyes. This woman had big eyes too, but they were so milky that he was surprised she could see at all. He’d give Jordyn a chance to answer for herself. Perhaps she already had a false identity prepared for emergency situations such as this.  “And this is…”

There were so many horrible things happening at this very moment.  Jordyn wished that she and Jai had been able to make a hasty retreat – the exit had seemed like a reasonable place to go, but no such luck!  The witch came back and like the omniscient frog that she was, had sensed their desire to leave.

But mistook it for something completely different.  Jordyn didn’t even know HOW to process that this old woman was… oh Merlin.  Being beyond embarrassed, she couldn’t even flare up in a shocking blush: it was almost the opposite, and she felt all the heat rush from her face.  Later on?! How long did she think they would be here?! 

…Was she going to keep them hostage? 

Jordyn could not be in a hostage situation in her final year of Hogwarts.  Those were the too close to the stories they read about in history of magic when they all learned about the second war…  Jordyn was not going to go Potter on this year and get herself abducted by some strange frog woman who seemed to crop up out of nowhere. 

She was just glad that Jai had the mental capability to respond.  Well… sort of.  Nelson?!  Her mouth went dry… she had to come up with a fake name too?!  Oh goodness… oh! Um!  Biting the inside of her cheek, Jordyn was terrible at this game… so she said the first thing that came to her mind:  “Neely!” she laughed awkwardly, “Neely Woolfolk.” 

It was probably terrible to bring her best friend’s name into this, but she didn’t know what else to do.  And it didn’t help that Nelson sounded so close to Neely.  The toddering old witch seemed to notice that took and laughed, ”Neely and Nelson! How delightful!” she clasped the two wrinkly hams one could probably call hands together and nodded, watery eyes unblinking. 

“Oh look at me! Forgetting the tea!” she squawked as the kettle started to whistle, presumably from the kitchen and Jordyn looked up at Jai with a miserable expression.  The redness of her nose and eyes could now be attributed to the terror of this situation and her illness. 

Clasping his hand, Jordyn bit her lip.  “I… can’t do this,” she whispered to him – slightly terrified the woman had ears everywhere… maybe that was how she knew they’d wanted to leave.   “Can we apparate?!”

The scene unfolded like it was part of a play, a terrible play where a young couple was kidnapped and held hostage by somebody’s grandmother. The woman’s enthusiasm for customers was disconcerting. Why hadn’t they just apparated to Jai’s new apartment? Jordyn hadn’t had the chance to see it yet. Mildred bustled out of the room on a quest for tea and Jai saw this as a good opportunity to escape.

“I… can’t do this… Can we apparate?!”

Jai should have known his girlfriend would share his desire to escape. He was about to wholeheartedly agree with her - his mouth was open, just about to start speaking - when Mildred hurried back into the room with a kettle and several teacups following her. Like some kind of bizarre parade.

“Sit, sit sit,” Mildred sat at one of the tables and the cups found their places at the other chairs. “So tell me, Nelson - and did you say, Mealy? Interesting name…” Mildred frowned, apparently finding the name bad-interesting and not good-interesting. “How did you two meet?” She patted the chair next to her.

 Jordyn hated this. 

She knew Jai knew better than this, so why did they end up here?  If anything he would always be more careful about where they ended up than she would – if the clutter was making her anxious she couldn’t even imagine what it was doing to him! 

And this woman, she wouldn’t leave them alone for anything.  Especially with her questions… and the odd sound of their fake names in her mouth… It made Jordyn feel like she was sweating.  Or was she actually sweating?  Her cold had obviously not gone away and she sniffled, her head hurting a little bit.  Even though the horrid woman had asked ‘Nelson,’ Jordyn jumped in, “School.”  She did NOT need to know the real story. 

Old people would not take well to that. 

Sometimes, Jordyn wasn’t sure she took well to it, either. 

“Hogwarts,” she clarified, clearing her scratchy throat.  She reached for the tea and took a sip – that was at least a good thing, the tea wasn’t horrible.  She just needed something… perhaps it would also help with the dizzy spell. 

The rain had obviously impaired judgment, and it had put the couple into a very unfortunate situation. As the elderly woman continued to chat them up, Jai tuned out and focused on brainstorming a plan that would get them out of this place. This was not the romantic Valentine’s day date that Jai had been envisioning. Why hadn’t he come up with a plan? He was all about organization.

After a few minutes the best idea Jai had was to swing his arm around Jordyn and kiss her passionately. Through the slits of his eyes he could see Mildred smiling, and heard her sigh contentedly, delighted by young love.

“Well I’ll leave you two,” Mildred grinned, corners of her eyes crinkling. She stood up and took the tray. “Don’t get too wild, now,” she advised. “I remember those days… Me and my Harold….” Mildred looked off into the distance, a dreamy expression on her face. “That bannister’s just been replaced,” she hinted, winking and hip-checking Jordyn. Jai’s expression exposed his humiliaton.

Once Mildred had left the room, Jai stood up quickly and reached for his girlfriend’s hand. “Let’s get out of here,” Jai urged. “Before she comes back with The Karma Sutra.” He didn’t know where they would go next, but in his opinion, anywhere else would do.