Shlrunck 

How Unbelievably. 

Shlrunck 

Bloody. 

Shlrunck   

Ridiculous. 

Over the years, the seventh year Ravenclaw had found himself in a wide array of strange and surreal predicaments and all of them had had their own unique mix of futility, embarrassment and epically wise hindsight.  This was definitely destined to join the greatest hits list. 

Shlrunck 

The shrunken, dormant old oak tree shuddered and rustled under the impact, as Sasha forcefully knocked his head against its trunk.  Each impact sent a ripple up the tree, shaking loose a shower of water droplets that joined the steady, cold rain.  Shlrunck  Again, his head hit the cold bark and, again, water drops soaked into his back.  Into his fur.  And, it wasn't exactly his head hitting the tree.  The sensation of each impact rippling down each horn was oddly mesmerizing.  In the way tapping your fingernails against a desktop had the ability to pull your attention away from the homework problem that was currently defeating you. 

After months - almost a year - of practicing and study, shortly after lunch, Sasha had finally completed his first animagus[1] transformation.  The first half an hour had been spent convincing himself he'd succeeded.  The following hour or so had been spent trying to surmise what his animagus form was, in the absence of a mirror.  He'd noticed the cloven hooves first and, with building disbelief, became aware of something protruding out of his head.  He'd half expected to die of sheer irony until he'd realized there were two horns - not one. 

A couple hours of ... well, discrete self-discovery was the best term he could think of, but he was  grateful his inability to speak saved him from voicing that out loud.  He had a bad habit of speaking before thinking. 

With the ringing of the dinner bell, Sasha's gallivanting had come to a screeching halt with a sudden realization: he'd grown so preoccupied with the transformation part, he'd grown negligent of practicing the untransforming part.  Desperately trying to jog his memory hadn't helped.  Neither had the few things he'd managed to nudge or shake free of his bag before the rain had returned and drenched him and his belongings. 

Finally, as curfew neared, he'd resigned himself to the last resort: seek help.  But, dark and rain had driven everyone inside.  Heavy door latches were decidedly not hoof friendly.  He'd tried, once, to ... 'knock' ... but that had only drawn the attention of Peeves who had delighted at Sasha's predicament and had done his best steer the few curfew stragglers away from the entrance hall.  Now, he was wet, cold and his neck was getting very, very tired. 

A swath of light cut across the courtyard as the door opened.  Sasha whirled, both relieved and embarrassed.  Until he recognized the figure that stepped out into the courtyard.  Embarrassment won.  Scheiss, he thought. 

"Blah," he said.[2]

1.	Animagus form - Alpine Ibex
2.	Ibex sound

She hadn't expected November to hit her so hard. Over the last few weeks, her father had been sending her old photographs and journals from her mother. As close as she and her mom had been, Juni had been discovering that there was so much more to her mother than she knew. It ached her to know that she would never have a chance to really know who she was. It was almost unbearable for her to think that her mom would never be there for the future milestones in her life-- whatever they were going to be.  Last October, she hadn't even begun to think about life without her mom. A year later, it was her reality.

Juni had been even more difficult and confrontational to her poor professors and peers than usual, though she was much more patient with her friends. Friends like Esther being willing to wander in the rain with her helped her more than she expressed. Juni knew of other students who had experienced similar losses--and if they could do it, so could she. In her own way. In her own time.

In the last week, she had gotten in the habit of either staying outside after curfew and reading underneath a shield charm or sneaking out to wander the grounds in the dark. Hogwarts looked so different without people running around. There was a calming stillness to it all.

Yes, she had been caught a couple times. Yes, she still had detentions to serve-- but that didn't deter her, it only encouraged her to learn how to become more stealthy, even if quiet was not a word one would use to describe the Ravenclaw.

Juni had sneaked out with  rain-resistant robes  on, intending on creeping to the lake and pestering the squid or something along those lines.

Shlrunk, Shlrunck, ShlrUNCK

She winced at the sound of... Something hitting something. Repeatedly.

The door closed behind her.

"Blah. Said the fancy goat.

Juni stared at the thing. There was something oddly... Humanlike about it.

"Baaa." She replied dryly, quirking an eyebrow. Did it know her? It seemed to address her. Or curse at the very sight of her. "All right?"  Juni cautiously approached the creature, knowing full well from her time in COMC that animals generally were apprehensive about her.

"Baaa." She replied dryly, quirking an eyebrow.

A pair of large, floppy brown ears flickered and flapped back against the goat's neck.  Really?  She had to bleat back, didn't she?  He fluttered his eyelids half-closed in an attempt to convey his bemusement.  He had no idea how that translated into muscle groups he was still learning to recognize. 

Zamperia was acting like she thought he was going to bite her.  Or ram her.  Was the hesitation from personal experience?  Did she get accosted by stray ruminants in the courtyard on a regular basis?

"All right?"

Sasha dipped his head and a slight nod.  "Blahh," he repeated, well aware of the futility.  How did he ... how could he convey to her what he wanted?  What did he want?  Well...help. 

Wait.  Help.  What about those videos he'd seen?  With horses that had been trained to "count" by pawing the ground.  What were the chances Juni would recognize stomped morse code?  Cold and wet enough to try anything, Sasha lifted a hoof.  Pointedly fixing his gaze on his fellow Ravenclaw, Sasha struck the ground three times in quick succession, then three times slowly, followed by three more quick strikes.  He set his foot back down and stared at her, as if by sheer will he could suddenly learn legilimency.   

She stared at the goat-thing warily, slowly pulling out her wand just in case it tried to attack. The thing, as fancy as it was, looked damn feral.

And then it started pawing the ground, like the savage, predatory beast it was.

Okay, maybe it wasn't predatory, but with horns like that, she was not going to take any chances. Juni wished that someone who was better with animals was here. Like Ambrose. Or Moira. Or even Professor Donovan, even if that meant a detention. Maybe she could distract the thing with food...

"Aaaaalright, goaaaty." Juni bleated. She fumbled around her bookbag. "You hungry?" Juni managed to pull out a peanut butter sandwich. She unwrapped it and threw it at the goat. It landed on the ground with a soft flop. 

It was then that she noticed that the goat was striking the ground in a pattern that was distinctly... Human-esque. Did someone transfigure a student into a fancy goat? Or was this one of her peers that were incredibly talented at transfiguration? Juni tried to recall who she had seen carrying a mandrake leaf in their mouth, ever, in the years she had attended Hogwarts. The list was long and incredibly unhelpful.

"Goat." She straightened up her posture and gazed at it, hoping that she looked more confident than she felt. "If you can understand me... Let me touch your horns. If you need help, baa at me."

Again, the goat’s ears flickered back against its neck as the fellow Ravenclaw produced her wand.  What was she planning on doing?  Hexing the stray goat to see if it would go away?  Was there a stray animal ‘go home Rover!’ charm?

Instead of throwing hexes at him, however, Zamperia chucked a sandwich.  The gesture was somewhat rude (of course, anything other then helping him was going to be considered rude), but he had to marvel at the full, deep smell of the sandwich.  Despite himself, he lowered his head and gave the crust a couple quick sniffs.  He could smell the wheat and water and yeast in the bread and the earthiness of the nuts.  It was more tantalizing than he ever remembered a sandwich smelling.

But, no.  He didn’t want a sandwich.  Even if he was hungry.  The goat jerked his head up and did his best to glare, indignantly, at the fellow Ravenclaw.

“Goat.  If you can understand me... Let me touch your horns. If you need help, baa at me.”

Seriously?  Was she serious?  Yet, he was now wet and cold enough to be desperate. 

With a long goat sigh, Sasha let out a long resigned ’baaa and lowered his head.  He was never going to live this down.

The goat sniffed the sandwich and for a moment she thought that he would actually eat it. Instead he glared at her, as if sandwiches were somehow an offensive offering to all of goatkind.

He bleated and lowered his head. Juni slowly approached him and then finally touched the horns. She patted one affectionately and took a step back. "Baa for yes, stomp for no." Juni said. She couldn't very well help someone unless she knew who she was helping.

"Are you in my house?"

With an eye roll, baa. Juni rolled her eyes back.

"Do you identify outside the gender binary?"

He stared at her in confusion before snorting. Okay. Looks like goaty here couldn't handle words that were larger than two syllables.

Juni did a cheesey hand-gun movement and winked, "Are you a supa-fine-lady?"

His ears flickered back and he stomped a hoof.

"So you're a boy. And a ravenclaw. Do we have any classes together?"

He raised his head and flicks his ears forward and baaaws several times in a row before attempting to grin. Then he paused, confused-- before stomping.

So no, no he was not taking any classes with her-- but he wanted to..? God, that grin was creepy. Juni squinted her eyes at it in response.

"So you're a NEWT student..?" She asked, assuming that it was highly unlikely that anyone younger than her was an animagus.

The goat let out a long baaah.

"Macaulay Nettlebottom!" Juni guessed.

He snorted and stomped.

"Atticus? Peyton?"

He stomped several times in succession-- a firm no. no, no!

Juni hesitated, unsure of what to ask next. Perhaps she needed to narrow it down. "Is your life unfortunate?" She asked bluntly.

He hesitated, his ears flopping to the side as he considered the philosophical implications of the various answers. Juni stared back at him, waiting rather impatiently.

The goat attempted to bahh in a short, bark-like fashion.

A mischievous grin spread across her face, "... Shit. Schalgenweiner?!"

His ears flickered back and he gave her a long snort.[1]

"Sasha." Juni confirmed. Now to get him out of this form. She didn't know too much about animagi, but she assumed that the distress he had at being unable to transform back was not helping. "Okay. Relax. We'll get you out of this situation." She started. Unless he had been trying to do some stupid experiments like Felinus did, that got him stuck in lion form. Juni doubted that was the case, as Felinus could speak-- Sasha could  not.

She had only heard about the animagus reversal spell in her transfiguration textbook-- she had never actually performed it. Juni closed her eyes and gripped her wand tightly, trying to recall the movement and incantation. Juni pointed her wand at Sasha and said clearly, "Homorphus!"[2]

A shot of blue light hit her target, and she hoped it'd force him back into his regular form.

1.	Thanks for helping out with this portion, Mai!
2.	Here's the spelly spell spell.

So much for being anonymous.  Sasha wasn't sure why the identity of man behind the goat mask was so important to her; was she making sure it wasn't someone she was disinclined to help?  Did the type of offered help depend on who was asking?  What were the chances he was one of those she would be disinclined to help? 

Thankfully, that wasn't the case. 

Zamperia pointed her wand flash of blue enveloped him.  There was a sudden rush of mixed sensations as fur, bone and tissue rearranged itself into their usual pattern.  Then cold and wet.  Very cold and wet.  To an alarming degree - as if all of his previousinsulation had was gone, not just transformed. 

Did clothes normally not return?  Had he done something wrong?  Granted, he hadn't talked to a lot of people about this but...no one had warned him of that.  Given other parts of the transformation hadn't gone by the book, that was highly possible.  At least it was dark in the tree's shadow and the lovely rain was further limiting visibility.  Now, was there any way to get out of this new predicament without further humiliating himself?  "Zum Teufel,"  Sasha muttered, shifting as casually as he could deeper into the shadow of the tree.  With luck, Zamperia might not have noticed?  Maybe, if she wasn't curious and believed he wanted to stay out here longer, he could just ...   

"Thank you," he said, decidedly more awkwardly than normal.  "I ... I don't know how long I would have been stuck out here.  What time is it, anyway?"  Maybe, if it was late enough, he could manage to sneak by the prefects and find a robe that someone had left in the Great Hall.  He was overdue for a bit of good luck, wasn't he? 

"I ... I'm sure it's late.  I'm sure you should be getting back to Ravenclaw."  As should he.  They weren't going to walk together, though. 

Sasha transformed back to his human form-- skinny, awkward, and without any clothes on. She did what any shocked, morally ambiguous fifteen year old would do-- she pointed at his humiliated face and cackled while making no attempt to avert her eyes to give him any semblance of privacy.  Juni couldn't help it.

She gathered herself as quickly as she could, face red and stomach tense from the hearty laughter.  Schlagenweit was in a very vulnerable position-- naked in the middle of campus, outside, in the rain... And trying to hide behind a tree as if it would keep her from noticing. No. She had to keep herself

"Sasha," Juni began, trying to sound stern as she choked back her amusement.  "I had no idea that frolicking naked in the rain was one of your hobbies." 

She began to shrug off her robes, "You have two choices here, Schlagenweiner." Juni said, "You can either wear my cloak, or I can transfigure you a loincloth. One looks sad and pathetic, the other is also sad and pathetic-- but it has the added bonus of being hilarious." The witch paused, "I lied. You have three choices.  You can risk streaking across campus and hope that no one will see you. Don't forget that the portraits like to gossip. We don't need an article in the Hogwarts Howler about your nightly nude excursions." 

Juni grinned deviously, "Or maybe that is exactly what we need."

"Must you?"  Evidently, the shadow of the tree hadn't proven to be the effective cover he was hoping for.  Zamperia's reaction was as predictable as it was unwelcome.  Sasha glanced awkwardly up at the branches of the tree and over at one of the stone arches along the courtyard's perimeter and finally up at the inky blackness of the cloudy sky.  Anywhere but at his fellow Ravenclaw. 

"Sasha.  I had no idea that frolicking naked in the rain was one of your hobbies."

"It wasn't intentional!"  Sasha retorted, a little more curtly than he might have under normal circumstances.  For some inexplicable reason, he was always much more prone to losing his sense of propriety when he was around the girl.  "I didn't ... no one told me this might happen!  I didn't expect to change at all."  Had he known, he might have prepared better or given more consideration to end of the process. 

"They'd gossip just as much about a loincloth," Sasha felt compelled to point out.  Saying he had three choices when the options were borrowing a cloak, loin cloth and streaking was a lot like saying a mouse being chased by a barn cat had three choices: hide, walk into the cat's mouth or flag down a passing owl.  There might, technically, be three options but only if one gave no consideration to practical viability.  "Besides, I have a fourth choice.  I can go find my stuff and my wand and transfigure or summon my own.  Which..." Sasha pointedly glanced towards the archway leading out to the lawns and back at Zamperia, hoping the fourth year would catch his drift.  This is when a polite person would turn their back. 

Which, even if she didn't, he'd more than held up his end of the manners bargain.  If she insisted on playing spectator, she couldn't very well point fingers and blame him.  "Well...thank you.  Again.  I appreciate the help.  I ... but, if you don't mind...please don't tell anyone about this.  It's important."

"No one told you it would happen?" Her eyebrows raised in shock. Her uncle, Emilian, was an animagus. An Iberian Lynx, to be exact. He had told her stories about his first few times transfiguring... And he had lost some clothes in the process. Instead of the clothes transfiguring with them, he had vanished them. So now, they were in non-being. Her uncle had never gotten those clothes back.  "It's happened to my uncle, before." Juni tried to comfort Sasha with those words, "He ran around Beauxbatons, stark naked. Several times." She grinned at the memory of him retelling the story.

"So, you're not the only one. My uncle is now an expert, and he teaches people how to become animagi." Juni hoped that one day he would teach her, but transfiguration was not the strongest of subjects. She was sharp, but it took plenty of studying and practice for her to be as good as she was. Charms came easily, but it still required work.

She lingered awkwardly, "Uh, you're welcome." Juni said, "And... I mean. I am not going to make promises I can't keep, but I'll try." She said,  though she didn't promise that she'd try hard. "Ten years from now, it'll be funny. For now I'll stay quiet, though." That was the closest Sasha was going to get to a promise.

Juni turned and walked back towards the castle. That was enough adventure for tonight.

End thread