Oct 20, 2010




Moira, O Cousin of mine,

If you are reading this, I am probably dead. My sense of humor and tendency to run my mouth have finally caught up to me. I used the word 'nip nops' in Professor Donovan's presence.  Grumpy Professor Donovan, not beautiful Professor Donovan. I may have also used that word in conjunction with 'fabulous pecs' and 'Merlin's great shiny arse bareback upon the most innocent of unicorns.'

Please ensure that I have a proper burial. I shall leave you my stuffed alpaca with the wings.

Your deceased cousin,
Juni


PS: I want Connor to officiate my funeral

PPS: I expect beautiful eulogies from Bastian. Plural.

Oct 22, 2010



Moira,

Here is my list of people with perfect faces and good arses in our year and above in my not-so-humble opinion:

Ambrose Pepper
Bastian Desrosiers
Connor Todd
Nell Augustine
Esther Morrell
Eli Amherst
Figaro Sellaphix
Cyhirae Trishna
Emilia Hatherly
Gracie Slant
Raine Almasy
Ariadne Gamp
Jordyn Dimbleby

I would write more but the professor is giving me a suspicious look. They're on to me. Also you are not on this list because you're my cousin and I'm not a Lannister.

Perpetually admiring aesthetically pleasing features,
Juni


PS: Clearly I did not die.

Oct 24, 2010


Be jealous, your common room does not have access to a dog. Look at me. I have Schlagenweiner in my house, that means unlimited access to Baldur.

Except he stole one of my alpacas once. That was not fun.

I am stuck on one of the trick stairs leading to the 7th floor. I've been here an hour. I flew this down to a first year, he's my only hope.  Send help and nourishment and something to cuddle. Seriously.


Starving and alone with only her freckles to comfort her,

Juni

(Okay it hasn't been an hour... But it feels like it.)

Oct 25, 2010

Before you start, I didn't rescue you from the stairs because I was busy. The first year that you sent was a bit of a grouch as well, so I'm blaming that one on you. Besides, I'm sure someone capable came by soon enough. Maybe now you'll learn to avoid that step. I can't save you from everything, especially the results of you opening your mouth.

October 25, 2010
Evening

It wasn't just the step, Moira, you absolute traitor.

It was the entire bloody staircase. The thing rotated and was stuck MIDAIR. The same thing happened to Trumble and Winnie after they broke up and it forced them to talk about it like some sort of tacky romance novel. Clearly, they stayed broken up for some angsty reason.

But where was I?

I was trapped in the middle of the air and I didn't have a broom and then I dropped my wand after sending the letter to the third runner. It hit a third year in the face. He sprouted giant, purple warts. I tried not to laugh, but I did.

It wasn't my sassy mouth that got me stuck. The castle has it out for me. Maybe my big mouth inhibited rescue efforts, though... Ah, people have to let me be me. They can't handle the harsh truths or my beautiful, dripping sarcasm.


Juni

_{October 26, 2010
Morning}

Then you should have clarified how exactly you were stuck. I'm not commenting on the whole Zel and Winnie thing. I won't lie when I say I'm biased.

As for my mentioning your big mouth, I was referring to your earlier letter about what you told Professor Donovan. He's really not so bad if you just don't care.

October 26, 2010


What is this about a bias?

SPILL IT MCBOID! SPILL IT LIKE THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES!


Merlin's great waxed arse, I just went from zero to mass murderer.

Oh, I love Professor Donovan. I actually worked for him over the summer, he's grumpy and has these giant eyebrows, but he's pretty okay deep down. He acts like he doesn't like people, but would he choose to be an educator otherwise? I suppose some people decide to go into teaching because they want to torment and twist young minds, but Professor Donovan's not like that. I hope...

Seriously! I was not on team Zelifred. You can tell me. I have a big mouth but you know I'm damn good at keeping secrets that aren't mine.

Lounging in the common room and taking up a three-person-sofa,
Juni

_{October 26, 2010}


You mean it's not common knowledge that Winnie /still/ believes I'm out to kill her? I like Zel. Her not so much now.

Zel's too sweet for her, especially with her jumping to conclusions all the time. Actually, Zel's been keeping an eye on me for near a year now, thinks I don't take care of myself and wants to make sure I'm okay. So what if I got horribly ill a few times? It happens.

October 27, 2010

She does think you're going to kill her. Winnie never forgives, she never forgets. Here is a haiku I wrote about her relationship with Zel:

Winnie and Trumble
How did this even happen?
Do not procreate.

It's one of my kinder ones.  Tremble may be sweet, but he's barely got a spine. I only say barely because he and Whitman apparently got in a brawl once. Who can't respect an honorable brawl?

Do you get sick easily? Get more sleep or something or you'll end up looking gaunt and wasted like Schalgenweiner. While you're at it, tell Trumble to stop sticking his giant nose in your business. You can take care of yourself-- that ability runs in the family.

_{October 27th, 2010}

Ha, when I was half delirious (so he says), he said he would carry me. ME! A McBoid! The nerve. Don't bother telling him to stop watching, you never know when something disastrous might happen to me since I sleep near Winnie. Her bed alarms are the /worst/ when I have to get up at night.

I do not get sick easily, it was just a bad year for me. I was finally dealing with past events I never really had before and they had just lingered.

October 28

Do you wake up with Lord Fluffybutt's fluffy butt in your face? I'm assuming you do, it's probably her revenge for your murderous plot against her.

The past always has a way of creeping under your skin and staying there. When you're about to forget it, something happens and it creeps back and poisons your life and makes you sick. It's not the kind of sick that can be fixed with a potion either. Maybe that's why some people can get addicted to altering their own memories or using pensieves. According to my dad, if it's big enough it still doesn't take away the hurt completely. You just wander around with this hole that you can't fill. I don't know what's worse. My dad knows a lot about memory alteration, and he takes it so seriously. I don't know what he knows from experiencing it himself or from seeing it in other people. I don't know a lot of things.

Don't deal with past events until you have to. You might as well be happy as long as you can, right? If you aren't happy anymore and want to talk, you know how to contact me.

_{October 28}

Actually when she's not around the cat has a tendency to sleep on my lap. I'm not sure why, must be comfortable.

It's not something that was recent, it happened when I was five. I'm generally reminded at least once every day. I don't think it's something I'll ever get over, how could I? However, when I am reminded it doesn't last long and I am able to move on with my day. The next month is going to be hard on us both.

I offer the same. If you ever need to talk, feel free.

November 8

Moira,

I found something you'd be interested in. Meet me tomorrow (the 9th) on the fourth floor. There's an empty classroom with an owl figure next to it. I'll be there after dinner.


Juni