"There was something your family made, long ago, that I needed to find.”[1]

“That pendant, you mean? The one you always wear?”

Of course Alvis had reasoned that out almost instantly. It had been a unique event for both of them, let alone that it was back during the day the occupants of Hogwarts had spontaneously swapped bodies[2] for a day. Said in his simple manner as if answering a question in class. Standing in the middle of the Norling workshop as Dingy was half bogged down in a collapsed stack of documents, Casey’s nerves were frayed to the furthest edge at the almost banal way Alvis had replied.

Because when Casey was forced to warn[3] Alvis about ‘that pendant’ when Alvis had been the Slytherin shrimp and Casey the bespectacled Ravenclaw, he hadn’t been of the soundest mind. Almost half-minded which was a migraine inducing concept just to think about, as it had been during the time the body swap had been resolved. Casey had technically swapped bodies with two people that day, as if he had always been two people. Which just wasn’t true. Just wasn’t.[4]

“Yes,” Casey replied, short and testy. “You know the reason.”

You don’t know the reason. You know the best explanation that could be given at that moment. One that ensured Alvis would not, could not remove the amulet while their bodies were swapped.

“You should have just told me.” Alvis moved along the stacks of files until they landed on another filing cabinet, one one curiously set apart, which Casey hadn’t reached yet. “Is this about the curse? Are you...?”

“I don’t have much time,” Casey said. Was that a response? It wasn’t an answer to Alvis, though it had been said aloud. It was more like Casey was realizing that he didn’t have much time keeping up this ruse. Even if he slipped by tonight, Alvis would soon figure the truth out for himself.

“You should have said something,” repeated Alvis, dragging open the other cabinet. Its drawer coming out far longer than suggested by the size of the box. “You’re looking in the wrong place, anyway. Those are the Norling records. You want Grandma Sabia’s family, the Martels.”

Why had Norling’s tone been so simple? For as much as he could pick up on what others were feeling -- Casey knew of Norling’s particular blend of Legilimency first hand -- the Ravenclaw’s own motives were so obtuse sometimes.

"It’s not like you could have found it anyway,” said Alvis, walking his fingers along the folder to count out “A lot of our private commissions get filed in code -- that shorthand, like a I use in my notes. This is pretty much exactly why...will ten years be far enough back?"

There was another pause where Casey could tell Alvis had stopped in the middle of searching. The sort of pause someone makes in a conversation when they're trying to formulate their next set of words. Blast, just get it on with it! “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I didn’t want it known.” There was an inherent contradiction in that. No doubt Alvis noticed. The Ravenclaw's eyes lingered strangely before he resumed sorting files. Casey held his tongue. If he held to one resolution, it was that Alvis would have to argue the secret out of him.

“Hm...I don’t see it here.” Alvis closed the drawer, clicked the sliding lock twice, and opened it again. The files it contained now looked much older. A few appeared to be homemade. “This could take a while. Do have a commision date?”

Casey shook his head no. Those exact particulars had not been shared in Doherty manor, if his grandparents even knew the amulet’s date of origin. All Casey knew was that there had been others with his ‘condition’ and that the remedy was ‘simple.’

“It’s your family’s records,” Casey said. That somewhat familiar feeling of being completely hollow was returning. It made his words in reply seem distant, making him question if they even came out of his mouth. “And if only you can read it, well. I apologize for the mess, I should clean this up.”

Casey and Dingy focused on undoing the disorganization they had made to the records during their search. But soon it was just the house elf at work. It suddenly took all of Casey’s effort to keep thoughts strung together. Especially when he realized how futile this all had been. Of course the Nor--Martel records had probably been encoded, or translated into another language or whatever. Alvis had mentioned the strict confidentiality they had about what the artificers made for their clients. An outsider and his house elf were not going to even know they had found what they were looking for even if they were lucky on finding blueprint designs.

And really, if Casey had been successful in this venture, who else was going to make a replacement amulet up to snuff? And Casey was starting to feel sick that the other part of the plan had been casting Obliviate indiscriminately.

So while Alvis searched and Dingy cleaned, Casey found that he couldn’t look at either. He spent a few minutes staring at the section of the workshop he stood by, looking at the tools, at his Hand of Glory. Useful when used correctly but honestly the name was stupid.

Casey felt anything but glorious.

"I think I’ve found it,” said Alvis a short time later.

Casey glanced over to where Norling was smoothing out a folded piece of parchment. The amulet sketch looked familiar, but the script was illegible to Casey, a combination of odd scribbles, alchemical signs, and ancient runes.

The Ravenclaw adjusted his glasses. “This looks about right, yeah? It’ll only take a minute.”

So that’s how long it was going to take for Casey’s whole world to change. Again.

He had found a stool in the interum and now sat, slouched against a workbench, feeling incredibly tired. He watched Alvis’s eyes dart across the page. Then they stopped. The Ravenclaw glanced up to Casey, then back down. His brows furilled. He held up the design again.

"...This isn't for a curse."

1.	a continuation from Revelations In a Hand of Glory (April 4)
2.	Body Swap tag
3.	A Piece of my Mind (and Yours
4.	Re-assimilation

Casey didn’t say anything right away. His focus turned off of Alvis, back to looking at nothing in particular as if trying to bore holes in the walls.

“No. It’s not a curse. Not that kind. It has nothing to do with magic against me.”

He looked to Alvis again. His lips were pressed tight. Good. Though the wait for this moment had been excruciating Casey felt something like satisfaction given Norling's new confusion. As if this was the retaliation for looking to far into another's background. That the Slytherin he considered a friend was not toiling under a deadly curse. That the blue sapphire amulet was an Animus Stone, a special necklace that made the female wearer look like a man.

Or in Casey’s case, pseudo-female.

“If I had tried to explain everything last November,” or been in position too, but even then, “it would have taken far longer. Besides, I couldn’t exactly say ‘Alvis, don’t remove this amulet because my body is female.’ That isn’t true either.”

Back then during that day of body swaps, Casey and Alvis couldn’t have been the only two to have private conversations about what not to do while parading about as someone of the opposite sex. There must have been plenty of people weirded out about having different bodies, the sudden presence of needing to use the opposite restroom and what all that entailed.

None of them knew how lucky they were; it only happened one day for them, barely 12 hours. The didn’t have a near lifetime, half a school age with that kind of confusion and revulsion.

Alvis Norling may be a Legilimens but he had no clue about how to hide his own emotions. Casey relished in his read of Norling's current mental process, watching the metaphorical gears try to turn and fall out of alignment. Or maybe the better metaphor was smelting his own metal, something Alvis was known to do on occasion in the Ravenclaw dorms according to the rumor mills. Only the forge fires failed to light. Still, Alvis said nothing. Why wouldn’t he speak?

“Do you get it now? I’m not a boy. I’m not a girl. Maybe I’m both. Maybe I’m neither.” From the middle of cleaning Dingy the house elf yelped. Casey made a dismissive gesture. “You haven’t spoiled a thing, Dingy. Alvis may as well know by this point” He looked back to Alvis as if in challenge.

“Does it have to be spelled out for you? Just like that stupid time in third year when we had the flesh eating slugs lesson in Creatures, everyone else’s utter confusion that there’s no such thing as a male slug or female slug, that--”

The words choked in Casey’s mouth. Slugs, like some creatures in the animal kingdom, were hermaphrodites, having both the male and female sex organs of the species.

Fists clenched, Casey stared at the unfinished basement floor. A moment passed, long and tense. Finally, Alvis coughed as he closed the filing cabinet drawer that had been left open.

“I don’t take Creatures,” he said, crossing the room and placing the parchment form on the worktable by Casey’s elbow. “Never was any good with animals. Birds, fine, they’re useful, but slugs, horses, magic dogs? They’re not really my bag.”

Casey cringed at that little outburst. The memory was an old one and he’d gotten so used to classes with Alvis he had figured the Ravenclaw was in the class as well, perhaps the one year before dropping the subject. But nonetheless a lesson Casey always remembered, given his own issues. A stupid thought really.

Alvis appeared to be struggling with what to say next. “But this…” Alvis tapped the unrolled parchment, keeping his gaze on its and away from Casey’s eyes. “This is my bag. If I understand anything, I understand this.”

He tapped his finger again before continuing. “These amulets create an illusion. Animus, from a masculine psyche in females and Anima from the feminine psyche in males. Presumably, when they were commissioned, it was with the hope that they would allow their wearer to present themselves to the world as they wished to be perceived.”

Casey snorted at that. Not a typical expression of his, not his everyday sense of self. Casey wasn't in the right guise to be snorting anyway but as a means of derisive frustration the snort did its job. Others, maybe, had these amulets truly as a means for how they wished to be perceived. Not in Casey's family. It was the easy fix, it was how the O'Dohertys wanted the prime heir to be perceived ever since Casey was young.[1] There were at least three other ancestors that had needed to pass for male, same condition as Casey's. He didn't even know their names that topic of the family tree was so disgusting for the O'Doherty patriarchs concerned about passing the lineage of the ancestral wand and fortunes. How dare there not be any male heirs. Or incomplete males.

Casey was so caught up in thoughts that Norling's next words were almost missed. “That’s all that matters in my book.”

That shook Casey. Their eyes locked for a moment, Casey completely at a loss for what type of an expression to have. After years of having to know the right expression, make the right impression, being perceived how others told Casey to be. “Maybe their experience was like yours. Maybe not. Maybe this was a simple solution to a complicated problem. But whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances...this is how they wanted the world to see them. That’s what was most important.”

Alvis waved the file for emphasis. "I mean, frankly, whatever this  appears to change is your own business and I’ll thank you to leave me out of the squishy details.”

Casey audibly scoffed but kept the thought unsaid. Oh yes, Norling, because I was going to launch into that full explanation. Hell. No.

“But if it’s the same way for you, then I promise, I won’t see you any differently. You’re you. That’s what’s important.”

Casey gritted his teeth at this. "Is that so..." If it wasn’t for the fact that this was Alvis talking, and outside of pushing his particular buttons a lot of things ‘didn’t matter’ to him whether from all consuming love or apathy, Casey would be quick on the retort. How easy it was for Alvis to say it shouldn’t matter. He didn’t need special underwear to keep up the same appearances. He barely knew about keeping secrets for longer than a semester. His mind was probably free from the stress of keeping lifelong secrets.

Yet, for as much as Casey was stewing in a mood he didn't know what to say next. Probably because planning and predicting how Alvis would take this news--let alone anyone else beyond family to the revelation of Casey's unusual biological makeup--had never reached this point. Maybe because of how unknown of a thing being a mix of the sexes, intersected, was compared to others with more unusual lives. Sure, a werewolf remained human most of the month but that was a transformative change. Same with any half breeds, witches and wizards that were visible different from their non human parentage. Once you got past the surprise their existence wasn't unheard of. At this point Casey would have rather been part goblin or leprechaun or even the Hufflepuff fish freak. Being a partial merperson must be blasé by now.

But Casey wasn't obvious. Dress the part well and no one considered the possibility that there were humans that were not strictly male or female.

The basement workshop had lulled into silence, even Dingy had finished undoing the mess made earlier during Casey's frantic search. Casey had returned to keeping focus nowhere in particular, rather a lack of focus. Nothing felt like steady resolution. It was as if the moment had been frozen in time.

1.	The Changeover

“Dingy!”

Casey about jumped a foot, snapped out of a deluge of mixed emotions. There was a loud crash from behind them as the addressed house-elf did the same, the worn pot on his head banging off the back wall. Alvis had suddenly turned, leaning back against the workbench with what might have been the most confident expression Casey had ever seen on his face. 

The elf bowed, muttering all the while. “Y-Yes, M-M-Mast, Alv, Alv, Nor, Mas," Orders and commands of attention were rare outside the family of masters. Casey signaled Dingy with a nudge or it would be minutes for the elf to determine how to reply to Norling.  "--Master Alvis?”

“I think you should weigh in,” Alvis said, still with that strange poise of confidence. “You know Casey better than anyone else, after all. So tell me: is Master Casey a boy? A girl? Both? Or neither?”

Both Casey and Dingy looked like they had been hit with twin stunners and were about to drop at any moment. As for Alvis Norling's sentiment that was true; if there was any being that knew the most about Casey it would be the elf that had nannied and tended for Casey for a majority of both of their lives. Some of Dingy's earliest tasks on the whole was assisting Casey's parents after the latter was born.

And Casey was trying to will Dingy to look up without saying anything, trying to communicate through eyes alone because Salazar's shiny pate it was bad enough for Casey to be forced to reveal his secrets it would be bad enough for Dingy to reveal every other little bit Casey didn't want mentioned at this point. Surely nothing would come of this, Dingy and his folks Dollop and Dimple were too bound by their geas to the O'Doherty family to give away their masters' secrets.

"Cas--Master Casey," the elf spoke slowly. He held his pot helmet in both hands, arms crossed and vision downward in contemplation. Casey noticed the break in enunciation as Dingy struggled to say Master Casey, using the masculine address of respect."Dingy serves Master Casey. Dingy may have other masters and misstresses has and will always, always be there for...Casey." The elf squirmed, fighting an impulse for self punishment no doubt at the laxness of the reply. "Dingy was, is there when Casey is both master and mistress, and Dingy," *sniff* "for Dingy, is most important that Dingy is there to serve Master Casey no matter if Casey is girl or boy."

"Oh come off it," Casey began in exclamation. Alvis was too busy holding back a laugh. "Half the time he's calling me 'Master' how can I be that and both both." The spiral of logic was getting to Casey as his mouth was left with dry spit, no words.

"I think that's a vote for both," Alvis said quietly. "You're as masculine as you want to be, the same goes for feminine. That's two people now," he motioned between himself and Dingy, "that will see you for who you want to be, regardless of gender."

Casey breathed heavily.

“As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what I think you are, or what other people think you are, or what you’ve been told that you are. What’s important is who you believe you are, and as far as I can tell that hasn’t changed.” Alvis shrugged though he too was starting to sound winded from the strain of thought.

“You’re you. This doesn’t change that, so it doesn’t matter. I'll give you that not everyone would likely see it that way. But that doesn't mean you have to hide from everybody." He slouched further back against the workbench. "You're driven, Casey. Far more ambitious than me half the time. When I think of the rune armaments or see you class or every time you strive to get airborne on a broom; you're far more passionate than you let on. You do care about things, I know you care about Dingy." The elf bowed again in embarrassment. "And now, in retrospect I suppose, you care a lot about how others see you. So at school, if everyone thinks you're a boy...isn't that mission accomplished?"

Casey was biting his lip. He was trying not to cry, not because of stereotype that boys shouldn't cry, or that letting the tears flow was the sign of being a girl. Rather, it was more like being this far removed from genuine emotions that he wasn't sure if this was a time one did cry.

"You're still in Slytherin, you're still in Hogwarts. And you're still my friend. You're my friend no matter how much of a boy or girl you want to be."

There were fresh snobs and the sound of a nose being blown into a handkerchief. Well, if the handkerchief was made out of burlap.

"Dingy, please," Casey gulped, "try to cry more quietly if you can." As master spoke with a similar sob-stricken tone of voice. The kind of tender and warm feelings Casey so rarely let into his heart. Which may have continued into the gooey sappy kinds of feelings, as if the stuff of emotions was made out of syrup if Alvis hadn't turned back to regarding the amulet designs with more of an edge in his voice.

“What matters right now is that this amulet commission wasn’t for the O’Dohertys. That means you must’ve gotten it second-hand. Which means this is vital: Do you have its partner?”

That chilled Casey’s blood, snapping him back to his usual sharp awareness. “It’s what?”

“Its partner.” Alvis unfurled the records further, revealing two nigh identical schematics but with subtle differences. “That amulet is an Animus Stone. They’re created through alchemy, and the process always results in two stones: the Anima, which grants a female guise, and the Animus, which creates the male. They’re not meant to be sold separately. It’s not good to wear them for a long time one way or the other, but if they’re not stored with their partner then they become dangerous. As in, they’re a serious detriment to your health.” Alvis clutched his head, another of his frequent headaches. “You’re always sick. Those allergies, the way your body felt back then...how long have you been wearing this?”

Casey eyed the records again, body posture tight. Those terms Alvis had mentioned before should have brought this realization sooner but he hadn't picked up on the implications then. “How long do you," he stopped, dropping his voice into a less accusatory tone, "I didn’t get sorted into Slytherin as a girl.”

In truth, this talk of a partnered stone was worrying but clarifying some thoughts Casey had formed over the years. There had to be a twin function to this magical amulet, one to make wearers female. And that having worn his near solid up until the middle of last year had not been good for his health. A lot of the same allergies were there but they were less aggressive outside of wearing the amulet. But that the stones themselves needed to be kept by their partners?

And Casey had to buckle down on thoughts of how easy the Hexy guise would be to slip into with an Anima Amulet as this wasn’t the time or place or something he wanted to humor.

“I don’t have either,” Casey admitted. “Not anymore.” As for how he had lost the amulet Casey didn’t want to bring up. It was better to just leave the broom lake rescuing incident[1] during mid-winter as a moment where Alvis had been there for rescue, without the addition of Casey’s amulet being lost to the bottom of the lake and Casey’s sudden need to disappear quickly.

Godric Gryffindor, Casey was feeling tired. Not only because of the late hour they were keeping. "I suppose, rather, sometimes my allergies don't seem as bad since I lost my amulet. But is that because I got the allergies from the amulet," a sudden revulsion at the treaty of something so important to his entirety of being, "or, is that the amulet aggravated allergies I would have had otherwise?"

Alvis winced again. Another headache? Or? "It doesn't go into specifics." He returned the designs to the folder. "Not beyond the danger of keeping them separated. Being made together the amulets are always linked, a bond of magic that keeps both functional. A positive feedback loop you could say." Alvis sighed. Or rather yawned, the fatigue getting to him as well.

"It's going to require more looking into. And before you ask," Alvis held a hand before Casey opened his mouth, "I won't mention this best I can. It's going to take a lot more research but I won't mention you as the reason for why I'm looking into it." Alvis blinked a few times. "A staggering amount of research. Alchemy is a tricky thing. The Hogwarts Library might have more about it."

Alvis yawned for the second time. "If anything what we should be getting is some sleep." He stretched as he looked towards the forgotten milk carton next to the Hand of Glory. "That'll be spoiled by now, we've left it there so long."

Absentmindedly Casey dismissed Dingy to leave as well with a gesture. A more affectionate gesture than he usually showed. The sheer enormity of what Casey had experience this night was still too much to process. That Alvis had grown wise to the scheme, that he had discovered Casey's biggest secret and insecurity, that he preached a message of good faith that it shouldn't matter what sex or gender Casey was as long as someone cared for him, that it shouldn't matter what others think, Casey would no doubt be fine in a far too optimistic outlook to the whole problem even though Casey still wasn't sure who he should be, there were those that still expected him to be him let alone how many further screwed up problems Casey could expect if he no longer had an amulet, let alone the ones he had from wearing such an amulet for so long, and Alvis Norling suggested all of this would still be fine and friendship would triumph and every issue was not as bad as Casey thought and onwards and onwards, the overly-hopeful uppity--

And for once, any anger Casey would have had at the situation faded. Alvis had been correct, Casey could be passionate when he wanted to be. And all of that drive had been so entangled with keeping a strictly masculine identity with no sign of Casey's mixed nature.

It wasn't as if that identity he had been broken. But, in a rarity Casey would have not believed possible, someone else had looked past that identity it had remained. Only now there was one person in the world where Casey wouldn't have to be so vehement about keeping up appearances. Not having to keep up this ruse, this formerly unmentionable conflict to Alvis: it was almost as refreshing as a rare breeze in the most dire of summers. Or a cold subsiding for a brief period of time even if the fever was likely to return.

The steps creaked as Norling made his way up the stairs. Casey made to follow but stopped at the first step. "Alvis."

Alvis Norling turned, bleary eyed but present and alert with an inquisitive but nonjudgemental look on his face.

Casey sighed heavily again. Dismissed all of the thoughts that still plagued him. "Thanks."

The smile, a very real smile that came in reply was one Casey was always going to remember.

1.	An Unexpected Emergency Washup, Nov 22