16 September 2010
10am on a Thursday

"Sir, you must check-in. Sir!"

"Good morning!" Knox Greyfriar gave a cheery hello to the wizard at the front desk who had just stood to his feet.  (He was someone more formidible in age and appearance than other gatekeepers in other Departments.)

"Oh? Must I?" Still cheerfully, the Wizengamot elder strode back around to accept the quill without urgency.  "Well, yes, I can imagine so.  There is very serious business going on down here and this list will surely keep the secrets a secret.  'Reason for visit'? How do people usually answer that? Can't imagine how useful that information would be. Tell me, do you archive these logs?"

The gatekeeper wizard was not amused. "Sir, if you please."

"I should like to see that archive," Knox said, matching the wizard's impatience but with a mocking tone.  He punctuated the i in his surname with a quill blunting stab and potted the pen.  "There."

He strode away leaving the gatekeeper a moment to read what he'd entered. 

Abducting Jai Patil

Jai had been working for the Ministry for a few months now, and although he had been reluctant about the position at first, he was beginning to find himself excited to get there each morning. At first it had been heinously stressful, learning the way of things and figuring out just what his job was supposed to be. That, and the state of the filing had been worse than terrible. For the first week, Jai was sure he would be fired, because he was far more focused on arranging a suitable organizational system.

To his surprise (and relief), his superiors had been impressed rather than frustrated by the work he had done. So impressed, in fact, that a member of Wizengamot had requested Jai to assist him. Jai was incredibly honored to have the opportunity... but of course it made him very nervous as well. He'd been anxious since hearing about it, but really- that would only enhance his skills. Apparently his obsessions and compulsions were good for something.

His anxiety did not subside, however, when he received a note that Knox Greyfriar was here to abduct him. Jai looked around the room as if he was expecting Death standing somewhere in the room with a scythe. It was a little alarming that he didn't see anything. "...Hello?" Jai said carefully. "Mr. Greyfriar?" 

"Jai Patil! There you are, lad!" 

Knox Greyfriar (a giant man by most standards, tall and round and with a booming voice) appeared and flung his arms wide, threatening an embrace sure to embarrass any young men out in the world for the first time.  But Knox spared him the hug and instead approached Jai with an outstretched hand.  His handshake was vigourous and he beamed at the lad, looking him up and down.

"Every bit the Unspeakable, eh!" He knew he wasn't an Unspeakable.  "Smart outfit! Didn't I see you at the Peppers' garden party? Don't tell me you associate with that lot. They're degenerates, you know. Dangerous folk."

He was kidding, of course.  He knew it was very possible Francis Pepper could very well be in earshot and the chance to bother his old colleague was a welcome opportunity.  One could only hope! But this afternoon was about learning all about how this young Hufflepuff was faring.

"Well!?"

Knox Greyfriar was known for his habit of speaking loudly and quickly, asking many questions at once and thatn abruptly demanding an answer.  He had been an old man for a long time now and was grown accustomed to being listened to.

A booming voice shouted his name, and even though Jai was expecting a visitor it still made him jump. Jai tended to be a rather quiet type and the bustling ball of energy that was Knox Greyfriar was sending him for a loop already. With a reluctant smile, Jai took Greyfriar's hand and shook it, Greyfriar's strong shake nearly lifting Jai off the ground.

"Every bit the Unspeakable, eh! Smart outfit! Didn't I see you at the Peppers' garden party? Don't tell me you associate with that lot. They're degenerates, you know. Dangerous folk."

Jai looked around nervously to see if Francis Pepper was about, counting himself and Greyfriar lucky that he wasn't. It took Jai a moment to realize that Greyfriar was pulling his leg. Jai let out a relieved laugh, the first noise he'd really made since the arrival of the gregarious Greyfriar. He smoothed his hands on his pants, thankful that the elder approved of his outfit, for some reason. Fashion wasn't important to Jai and it wasn't as if Knox was known for his style- but the compliment relaxed Jai anyway.

"Well?"

"I, ah-" Jai stuttered. He hadn't been prepared to be interrogated in such a way. He cleared his throat and attempted again. "I was at the Peppers' party, it was a nice time." Jai had brought his girlfriend Jordyn with him, and had been both thankful and impressed by her ability to navigate these important social opportunities with ease. "What is it you needed help with, sir?"

Knox allowed himself the pleasure of having set the lad off his keel and, having done so, decided to let him relax.  Knox lowered his voiced and nodded sagely as Jai Patil dutifully answered his questions.  And dutifully asked one of his own.

"It's simple really, Mr. Patil. I'd like a tour.  I've requested one from your boss Mr. Mortimer Gamp on multiple occasions, by owl, by memo, even by Howler, and they all get returned.  I take this to mean that he would prefer I come in person, and I have to say I agree. A tour of the Department of Mysteries by my old friend  young Mr. Patil - a fine idea, Mr. Gamp."

It wasn't clear if any of this had actually occurred.  It was equally likely, Knox was waxing a story for an excuse to check in on Jai, see how he was getting on, and give him a chance to be someone who knew something for a change. Being new in a job meant constantly knowing nothing. It might be nice to have a break from that.  Whatever Jai would actually be able to show him, Knox wasn't sure.  The rules for the Department of Mysteries weren't easy to find - even for a Wizengamot Elder.

When it came to government work, there was a lot of red tape. There were even some discoveries in the astrolab that had been covered up, Jai had come to discover in his reorganization of the files. The Department of Mysteries was especially secretive and particular about security. The only rooms that Jai had access to were file rooms, the astrolab, and the bathroom. Jai wasn't sure what Mr. Greyfriar was hoping to see. By the sounds of it, Mr. Gamp wasn't supportive of a tour.

Jai rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah- well," Jai stammered. "I don't know what you were hoping to see, I don't have access to many of the -" Jai fumbled for words. "- to to many of the rooms here. Mostly just offices, files and stuff." Jai's hands were sweating. He didn't do too well under pressure. "And the loo!" Jai spurted, instantly regretting this choice. Attempting to regain his composure, Jai cleared his throat and stood up straighter. "Have you talked to Mr. Gamp today, or...?"

"Fascinating!"  Knox draped his arm over Jai's shoulders and began to lead him with some confidence onward and inward, albeit slowly.  "That's a solid way to start. Wonderful suggestion, my boy."

Knox had conveniently ignored Jai Patil's inquiry regarding any permission Knox Greyfriar may or may not have from the Department's stern and secretive master. Instead he seemed to be leading his own tour. For himself.

"What about this office? Whose is this?"  Knox paused before a closed door with fogged glass and a name plate that had been scratched off beyond legibility.  "Looks steeped in mystery."

He was playing. But he genuinely did want to see how Jai was doing.  It was not easy to get hired into the Department of Mysteries and though Jai Patil was in the outermost orbit, it was certain he'd eventually make his way to the black hole in the middle.  And wouldn't that be wonderful for House Hufflepuff?

"What about this office? Whose is this?" Greyfriar's booming tone was unmistakeable amongst the maze of halls.

"That is the lavatory, Elder Greyfriar." Mortimer replied, appearing silently out of the opposite door. The room behind it seemed blank, though gave off a blue light that seemed to flicker and pop. The door closed behind him and the doorknob melted back into the plain back door as if it were never meant to be opened from the corridor.

Mortimer's dress rarely varied too far from his formal wizarding robes, and a deep purple cravat rather than a tie. His hands were behind his back, and he loomed beside them both. Speak his name and he shall appear.

"Patil." He addressed one of his newer recruits to the department, sounding neither welcoming nor approving of this appearance in the corridor. "Good of you to show Greyfriar to it, wouldn't want to lose a Wizengamot Elder in pursuit of an empty bladder." His eyebrows rose, looking from one to the other.

Greyfriar didn't seem disuaded by Jai's babbling nonsense about having a key to the lavatory, and instead appeared to be rather enthused by the suggestion. Jai wasn't sure what direction this tour was going, but he was growing uncomfortable with it once again. Who had suggested a tour, and why in Merlin's beard had they chosen the mousy, awkward new hire to do it?!

To Jai's horror, Knox nudged the door to the bathroom, inquiring as to whose office it was. Wondering if this was some sort of joke, Jai was about to scramble for an answer as his boss -- or rather, his boss' boss' boss, or something equally intimidating -- stepped into the scene and answered for him. Jai reddened slightly at the revelation. It wasn't the highlight of the tour and certainly wasn't Jai's first choice for a stop.

"Good of you to show Greyfriar to it, wouldn't want to lose a Wizengamot Elder in pursuit of an empty bladder."

Here Mr. Gamp seemed to have made a joke, but the skeptical look he was passing back and forth between Jai and Greyfriar was hardly hilarious. "Er - I was planning on bringing him to the Astrolab, first," Jai stammered. "Although this is a very important part of operations, at least keeps the custodians happy... ha ha..." Jai laughed weakly. What had this become?

Knox pivoted slowly on his heel until he faced sidelong the macabre and sideburn'd Head of the Department.  "Gamp," he greeted with shallowly buried insolence. He'd have liked that joke coming from perhaps the famed Covadonga Gertrudis, or the joyful but rugged old Griffon Manley - even perhaps Tamis Raynor although he couldn't picture it.  But coming from Mortimer Gamp it felt like he was reading a death sentence with a little too much pleasure.

Knox Greyfriar hadn't yet calculated what pain or reward would come of Jai Patil being seen as his close associate, but he had to hope it would bolster the young man's reputation around here.  Although, thinking rationally, not everyone was so friendly to this bombastic old werewolf.  At that personal thought, Knox patted Jai Patil on the shoulder apologetically.

"Yes," he agreed. "The Astrolab. I'm hearing a reading on star law in the coming week and the alleged involvement of Saturn will need to be confirmed. Astrologist facing charges of cursing a neighbor's radishes...you know how it is. Mr Patil, lead the way. Justice waits for no one."

"Well, it will wait for me. I'm on the Wizengamot, but it's not polite to keep the radishes waiting."

"Er - I was planning on bringing him to the Astrolab, first, although this is a very important part of operations, at least keeps the custodians happy... ha ha…"

Patil's attempt at humour was met with steady observation from his superior who did not share in the joke. Gamp's features did not move. He was permitted to make a joke, but inferiors were not.

"Gamp," Greyfriar greeted and clapped Patil on the shoulder.

"Yes, the Astrolab. I'm hearing a reading on star law in the coming week and the alleged involvement of Saturn will need to be confirmed. Astrologist facing charges of cursing a neighbour's radishes...you know how it is. Mr Patil, lead the way. Justice waits for no one." Gamp's mouth had pressed into a thin line, chin slightly lowered as he watched these two interact. It would not do for Patil to be associating with the rebellious ones in the Wizengamot like Greyfriar, the young man was too easily led with his anxieties. Keen mind, not to be wasted.

"Well, it will wait for me. I'm on the Wizengamot, but it's not polite to keep the radishes waiting."

"How reassuring," Gamp began, hands clasped behind his back formally, and nothing at all reassuring about his tone, "that wizengamot elders take such care of the country's radishes." He lifted his chin and lowered his eyebrows, his receding hairline only emphasising the tall wrinkled brow above.

"We may sleep soundly in our beds knowing Greyfriar is on the case, won't we, Patil?" The last three words were said more as an order to agree with his boss.

As the newest addition to the Department of Mysteries staff, Jai still felt gravely intimidated when it came to his boss. He didn't know whether the man liked him or not -- Gamp was a tough man to read and was even tougher to please, it seemed. The difference between Greyfriar and Gamp was almost palpable. They were two completely opposing energies, and nothing but conflict could emerge from this.

Jai's feeble attempt at lightening the situation passed by without recognition. He hadn't been trained for this, for the social navigation of inter-department mingling. Jai much preferred to be holed up in his office, gathering knowledge and keeping tabs on everything else.

The case Greyfriar was researching sounded petty if not excessively complex. Astronomers were a strange breed, he knew this well enough. He was one, after all, and he had his neuroses to boot. Jai wondered what it was he'd be able to do to provide any assistance of this place. Tracking Saturn was a decent amount of work, particularly if you were doing it over a handful of radishes...

"We may sleep soundly in our beds knowing Greyfriar is on the case, won't we, Patil?"

Patil nodded stiffly. "Yessir," Jai agreed in a voice that he hoped would please both sides. Gamp's voice was cold and dubious with regard to the protection of their nation's radish reserve, but the last thing Jai wanted to do was insult one of his elders. "Shall we continue the tour, sir? To the astrolab?" Jai gestured in the direction they needed to go in order to escape this swamp of tension.

Flower beds, Knox thought to himself, enjoying his pun in private.  He scratched at the curve of his jaw, covered in thick black, bristly whiskers.  A casual gesture, a show, perhaps, of his total indifference to Gamp's graceful jabs.

"At your service," Knox Greyfriar said with an incline of his great head.  Whatever he could do to help tourism to the Land of Nod.

Jai Patil was urging him on to spare them all from each other and thank Merlin for that.  Knox again put his hand on Jai's shoulder.

"Lead the way, lad! Onward to the Astrolab.  Good day, Mortimer Gamp! See to your Mysteries!"

Gamp was such a snobby old serpent and Knox would rattle his cage more often from here on out. Being such a curmudgeon to his former student seemed like some kind of personal offense.

Gamp let them move on, glad that Patil had willingly towed the line to his superior with the 'joke'. When he grew a backbone he might be eligible for a promotion. It would probably not happen for another decade.

Greyfriar had a hand on the young wizard's shoulder as they walked away, wishing him good day.

"Good day, Elder Greyfriar… Mr Patil." Mortimer replied politely.

By the time either wizard cast a glance in his direction, the Department Head had vanished and the corridor was empty.

Jai wasn't sure whether it was good or bad that Mortimer Gamp, his super-boss, knew his name. Jai was perfectly okay to accept a position as a nameless plebe for now. He was too nervous to be anything else, particularly since he was young and fresh out of school. It wasn't time to make a name for himself, not yet, was it?

He nodded stiffly as Gamp made his exit, then turned to Knox. Jai was surprised to find himself a little more relaxed in the company of the jovial older man, rather than his spooky Head of the department. "Yes, to the Astrolab," Jai agreed with a firm nod. He made a gesture that Greyfriar should follow him.

They passed by a few more offices before reaching the room, which looked quite much more like a lab than a restroom. It was a large, dome-shaped facility; dozens of telescopes in a variety of sizes were scattered about the room in a manner that looked very specifically chosen (and it had been). There were graphs, maps, charts, and codes hanging on a few posters on the walls, as well as a large L-shaped desk complete with drawerfuls of files. It was Jai's favorite room and he'd just finished reorganizing it so it could reach its maximum potential.

"What is it you were hoping to see, exactly?" Jai asked curiously. Surely this had to be the fun part -- discussing the bathrooms couldn't have been it. "For what information are you looking?"