It took everything in her to not flinch when he got close to her.  She didn’t want to be touched at the moment; she had such a hard time figuring out what she was really looking to say even in her own head.  It was jumbled and awful.  But she wasn’t going to be any easier if she shrugged out from under his arm and added physical distance to the emotional wall she had already sort of thrown up between them. 

Jordyn let out another deep breath and shook her head, crossing her arms in front of her, slumping in the seat.  She was listening to him, of course, but it was hard to really be listening.  He was right, she’d seen him in all sorts of varying states of panic, but he wasn’t the same as her.  He didn’t hold back and she imagined it couldn’t be nearly as hard for him to share his experiences with people.

For her, this was mortifying.  “I know you’re right,” she pointed out – acknowledging what he was saying, even if she didn’t exactly process it straight away.  “And I know I can talk to you,” she said quietly, “but I need time… I just… I’m not good at this.”  Jord let all of the air escape her and the tension drip out of her shoulders. 

“I know that sounds completely ridiculous and… maybe like I’m avoiding… but it’s not – I’m not the excuses type,” she explained, and hoped he knew that.  Jordyn took personal responsibility for everything in her life, which contributed to her anxiety in a big way.  “Okay?”

Jai watched as his girlfriend slumped down in her seat, looking frustrated as ever, and he wondered  briefly if he was doing more good or harm. Jordyn hadn't left yet, though, and Jai took that as a good sign. He knew talking about these types of things had to be important, and as uncomfortable as it might have been, he was happy they were able to talk like this. That he had been brave enough to get things out in the open, be honest about how he felt.

"Take your time," Jai told her. He was nothing if not patient. "We can talk about ...whatever... when you're ready. I just wanted to..." Wanted to what? This whole romance business was so peculiar -- what was making him say these things? "....make sure you knew I was there for you, no matter what." He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "Just... so you don't have to worry about that."

Jordyn nodded silently as he assured he would be there for her no matter what.  That was very sweet, but she wasn’t sure how true it was.  She didn’t think Jai was a liar, not really, but maybe he was just naïve and sweet and he thought things were going to be easy and wonderful forever.  To Jordyn it seemed like the possibility of things being really good was really slim. 

But, she wasn’t going to let him believe that she didn’t think the same thing.  It wouldn’t be good for him to worry about her.  She probably already did enough damage by just being herself.  How did a girl even end up in a position like this? 

“I know,” she said quietly, and not for the first time in this conversation, “But I should  go find Neely and Bran,” she looked up suddenly, “they were looking for a cart…” she licked her lips and stood, “you could come – if you want…?” she out her hand on the latch to open the door.  She didn’t know if she wanted him to (there were just a lot of things going through her mind), but she’d still offer.   

Jai had to give Jordyn credit -- she was truly gifted at avoidance. Having grown up in a family where feelings and problems were discussed openly, Jai was rather confused by her reactions. He didn't want to make her feel bad, because along with the disclosure of emotions Jai learned that everyone reacted differently to things. Certainly he and Lydie didn't view things the same way. Maybe it would just take more time.... hopefully that was it.

He couldn't help but frown when she suggested going to find Bran and Neely. He'd had a run-in with Bran recently, where he'd questioned Jai's intentions along with his wardrobe. Jai was nervous about the upcoming shopping trip, and wanted some advice from Jordyn about it. That required being alone, ora t least not with Bran and Neely. Besides, it was difficult to get a private cart.... "Can't we just stay here?" he protested a little. He didn't want to pressure her... it was like attempting to catch a stray cat, trying to get close to Jordyn."We can just... hang out."

He didn’t want to go. 

Of course, he didn’t.  Jordyn pressed her lips together and tried to think her way out of this.  Being alone was probably going to be the worst thing for her right now.  She was feeling awkward and even though she still had gloves on she could practically feel the cool latch on the door. 

“I did promise them…” she looked over her shoulder.  Jordyn didn’t realize that she’d leaned into the door just a little too hard and her hand pushed down on the latch.  The door slid open and Jordyn tripped into the hallway of the train with a little yelp. 

It wouldn’t have been so bad if not for the fact that the candy trolley was right there and Jordyn grabbed blindly at anything – her hand delving right into something soft and squishy.  There was a lot of  frog croaking and Jordyn heard the trolley woman shout something – she couldn’t tell what.  All she knew was the deafening sound of embarrassment.  Plus, there was the little matter of whatever it was that was in her hair right now – quite possibly lavender lemonade by the taste… was that salt?  Or  tears? 

She had to be crying, since the pain in her back (collison with the cart) and her elbow… “Shite,” she cursed and tried to scramble back into the car, shoes still slipping on whatever was on the floor from what she knocked into.  How was she going to pay for this? 

Jai could tell that he had upset her, that he had made things worse. Well, that wasn't anything new for him. He could practically feel the situation turning into a disaster -- he recognized the patterns from the multitude of situations that he'd fumbled. Jordyn was still standing by the door and before Jai could say anything else, maybe even change his mind and fix this whole thing -- Jordyn had fallen out of the door.

Reaching for her but failing to catch her, Jai rushed forward and stood in the doorway of the car. His eyes were large and he ignored the trolley woman's annoyed cries and went to help Jordyn up. But she was already scrambling back into the car, clearly embarrassed. The trolley looked at Jai expectantly, stammering "Well I hope she plans on picking this all up."

Now that he was a Hogwarts graduate, there was an easy fix. Jai stared at the woman and did a spell so that all of the salvageable candies and treats were back on the cart. He reached in his pocket and handed over a couple galleons to shut the lady up and she "hmphed!", turned up her nose, and pushed the trolley forward.

Jai turned back to the car where Jordyn was hiding. He picked up a box of cookies that hadn't made it onto the cart, as it had been partially opened. the precious cookies remained inside. This situation was already so dismal -- cookies could only make this situation better.

"You alright?" he asked very seriously. Knowing she was embarrassed, Jai didn't want to laugh at the overall ridiculousness of what had just happened. That might come with time. Jai offered the cookies.