Finally, it was official: Jai was leaving Hogwarts. For weeks now he'd been wondering how he would cope with the departure, and now that the time had come he was frankly much calmer than he expected to be. Perhaps it was the sense of satisfaction he felt from the end of a chapter... or maybe he'd been too distracted with thoughts of Jordyn.

A day previously, Jordyn had given him a very sweet card to which he responded with his profession of love. She hadn't reacted very positively to the confession and they hadn't touched upon the subject since. However, Jai refused to let this relationship go. Maybe love gave him superpowers.

They hadn't seen each other for more than a few minutes since the conversation, hindering their ability to talk about it at all. Based on her response, it was very likely that she was avoiding him. He didn't want things to end this way.... they couldn't. Finally, Jai had been feeling right in the world. Or at least not totally wrong.

But he had been wrong, it seemed. Part of him thought that Jordyn would be elated to hear his announcement. From his understanding, that was how it was supposed to go. He'd never told anyone outside his family that he loved them, but he was fairly certain the beloved wasn't supposed to run away so fast that they nearly knocked over a house elf carrying a large pile of dishes.

It was time to depart upon the Hogwarts Express, so Jai dressed comfortably for the expedition after meticulously organizing his trunk. It was strange to think about how this was the last time he'd have to do it, which he used as an excuse for how extra-long it took him to get his things arranged. Really, it probably had to do with the stress of the hanging "I love you."

On the train he sat in a booth by himself, flipping through the yearbook. He remained relatively aloof as he flipped through the glossy pages. Finally he landed on the superlatives page, and there it was: he and Jordyn had won most unlikely couple. Not having expected the nomination, Jai stared at the page for a long time, at the picture they chose of them. They were laughing, for once Jai actually had a genuine smile on his face. Jordyn looked so bright and happy. Jai felt a pang of sadness pull at his heartstrings. He sighed and leaned his head against the window, keeping the page open, watching the loop of laughter and wondering what was going to happen.

With everything from sixth year behind her, it was rather terrifying to be going into seventh year.  That’s where the summer was ultimately going.  There was no idea of rest or break in Jordyn’s head. She was doing her internship at St. Mungo’s, which was going to occupy a substantial amount of her time and then she’d still be revising for NEWTs.  She didn’t want to lose anything she’d gained over the course of the year.  Since she was taking her exams for real next year…

She’d thought she’d spend a considerable amount of time with Jai over the summer as well, but she thought that maybe that was up in the air too.  He said he loved her.  That was something Jordyn just couldn’t process.  She was stressed out over testing, she knew she really liked him and had gone through the trouble of making him a graduation card, and then when he said out loud how he felt about her there had only been one option: run. 

She tired to forget about it, organizing her trunks to perfection, but even then, it was hardly a substitute.  It didn’t distract her from the conundrum of dealing with how she was going to face Jai and actually talk to him about what happened.  She didn’t mean that she didn’t like him… quite the opposite.  She really liked him, but the idea of more than that scared her, especially with summer coming and it just felt like there’d be a lot of… expectations built in.  Jordyn wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with that idea or if they even existed (for all she knew she was inventing every possible scenario that made her anxious). 

So, she didn’t even mention it to Neely or Bran.  They had to get to the train and just find a car that they could stay in.  But first, of course, they did need to make their ways around with their yearbooks (they’d all signed each others’ first, of course) – and then when they’d run into others, they’d put their little notes in.  It was lighthearted, and Jordyn actually quite liked it, flourishing her quill and jotting down some notes, she smiled at the passing group of younger students who had asked. 

“Let’s try this one,” Jordyn looked over her shoulder at her friends, since she no longer had rights to the Prefect Car (she hoped that would change soon!) and pressed down on the handle of the car, opening the sliding door. Neely and Bran seemed engaged however, and she took it upon herself to open the door.  Of course…

Clearing her throat, Jordyn lingered in the doorway.  “Hi,” she said quietly, figuring it’d be super rude to just quickly close the door.  He was still her boyfriend (she thought) and she had done a good job of avoiding him… besides Neely and Bran wouldn’t want to stay here too long.  She had an out.   

When the door slid open Jai turned to see who would be joining him in his cabin, only to discover that it was his girlfriend. Had he summoned her here with thoughts of her? The look of surprise with a twinge of dread on her face certainly made it seem that way. For a heavy few minutes, they just kind of blinked at each other.

"Hey," he said to the girl before him. His girlfriend. Jai felt a wave of regret as he watched her squirming and fidgeting before him. She looked desperate to leave where once her face had lit up to see him. He had attempted to explain to her that he didn't expect her to say it back. He had meant the words as something of a comfort, for her to know that their relationship was secure, that he was there for her.

Jai couldn't figure out why the words triggered her to run but it made him want to fix whatever was broken. He wanted to explain that he was scared too, that this type of love was new to him. But he knew this was how it was supposed to feel. "I - How-" A million things came to Jai's mind, thoughts and questions and more -- but he didn't want to spook her. He couldn't figure out where to start so maybe just ignoring the problem would be okay for now. For now.

"Did you see the yearbook yet?" Jai asked finally.

Alright. There was nothing more awkward than this, Jordyn was absolutely convince she had managed to walk into the most awkward situation she could have imagined for herself.  She just needed to think a little bit longer – but, of course, the world wasn’t going to let her do that.  She would have sighed heavily if that wouldn’t have looked bad.

She didn’t want to hurt Jai’s feelings after all, she still liked him!  He just looked at her like she had stepped on his puppy in front of her and that little piece of her that felt like she was a terrible person cropped back up in the back of her mind.  If anyone really knew how terrible she was she’d have no shot at head girl.  Biting the inside of her cheek she turned the yearbook over in her hands.

Her eyes perked up when he asked about the yearbook and Jordyn smiled a little bit.  “Oh yea,” she held up her copy, “they did a really good job putting it together,” she assessed, which was lame, but it was true.  She loved the pictures and she’d gotten quite a few signatures to remember her year with.  “Have you gotten many signatures yet?” she asked curiously.  Of course he had a lot of friends (probably far more than Jordyn could ever muster with her personality), and she’d be glad to know that he wasn’t harping on how terrible she was and letting it ruin his trip.   

Although she told him that she'd seen the yearbook, Jai hadn't really gotten the response that he was looking for. What was missing was any reference at all to their superlative: Most Unlikely Couple. He wasn't quite sure what that meant. Honestly, he barely knew Jordyn until this year. Hufflepuffs and Slytherins generally avoided each other, but Jai hardly had a traditionally Hufflepuff-y personality.

"Not many," Jai answered, "just the usual gang." He was referring to his best pals Ruby, Lennon, and Jer, his best mates since his first year. They'd really helped him escape his anxieties (at least sometimes), helping him beat the endless and overwhelming cleaning loops he'd suffered from during his first year. Together, they'd been through it all... Lennon and Jer were his dorm-mates, they'd spent many late nights chatting and galavanting about. Life without them was going to be strange, but thankfully as wizards had the handy ability to Apparate.

Jai didn't know how well Jordyn knew his friends, though. They hadn't really met her, not officially, just teased him mercilessly about how absent he'd been lately because of all the time he was spending with his new girlfriend. It made Jai feel bashful and giddy at the same time, somehow. His pals had immediately known something was wrong after his talk with Jordyn yesterday, but he didn't tell them anything about what had happened. Frankly, he was embarrassed. "What do you think about us being an Unlikely Couple?" he asked, adding a nervous grin to ease the potent tension.

She vaguely knew who he was referring too.  In all honesty, Jordyn knew probably as much about his friends as he did about hers.  They didn’t exactly run in the same circles.  The only Hufflepuff that she’d taken it upon herself to know, outside of Jai, was Verity and that was strictly related to rivalry.  She needed to know the competition.  Any other years above her that she’d gotten to know where pretty much exclusively in Slytherin – others had graduated the previous year, and she wasn’t one to exactly go looking for new friends.  She was just glad he had his core group.  “That’s good though – more meaningful,” she smiled awkwardly, thumbing at the edge of her book. 

She couldn’t imagine what she would do without Neely and Bran.  They were her rocks at school – even if they could make her crazy sometimes (and totally uncomfortable with their level of ease with most things), she truly didn’t know if she’d make it through without them.  She was glad it seemed like he had a similar group. 

When he asked about the superlative, Jordyn laughed a little bit.  “It was… unexpected,” she admitted with a slight blush.  “The picture they picked of us was good,” she added looking down at the book to flip it open and get to the page.  They really were adorable; she wondered how someone had managed to sneak that shot when she and Jai were usually so secretive.  Either way, it was a good picture.  “You wouldn’t happen to want to sign it,” she looked up at him, then casually glanced over her shoulder to see Bran and Neely still chatting, “would you?” her eyes turned back toward him and she smiled a little, still not crossing into the carriage, but she did hold out the book toward him. 

Everything was awkward, which was not usually how Jai felt around Jordyn. Anywhere else, yes -- Jai constantly felt like a gawky, blundering fool. For some reason, though, Jordyn had made him feel like he could actually do things.

Jai agreed that the yearbook staff had chosen a good picture of them. His yearbook was still open to the page with the superlative on it, and he glanced at it as Jordyn flipped through the pages of her own book. He picked his up when she asked him if he'd sign her yearbook and handed it to her. "Only if you do the same," he remarked as he traded books with her.

He wrote a little something, not a novel or anything but something nice. It wasn't as if he would never see her again... he hoped. After a lengthy inner-debate, Jai wrote "I love you, really" before his signature. Jai stared at the words for a few minutes, admiring their tangibility. Preparing himself for Jordyn's response, he waited for her to finish her note anxiously.

“Of course,” she took his book and flipped to an open space – a page with no other signatures on it (she wanted her own page) and started to write a small message to him, nothing really on the card she’d labored over the wording on for several hours.  This was a yearbook, it wasn’t the same thing.  Besides, she didn’t want to make it a big deal… it seemed kind of awkward. 

She ended it with a simple “xox Jordy,” in script before she blew on the ink from the self-refreshing quill she was carrying around, not wanting the page to smudge when she handed it back.  In order to make sure it was fine, she ran her fingertip over the ink – satisfied that it wasn’t going to bleed or run and put the quill back in her hair before she held out the book to him.  “It’s small, but – I think it’s good,” she bit the inside of her lip, exchanging the different colored albums. 

Jordyn had specifically picked hers to match her house (she wanted her sets to all match) and she turned the page toward her so she could look at what he wrote.  And, as if she should have known, there were those three words again and they made her stomach lurch.  She felt absolutely awful.  “Jai,” she sort of whined… but more like a pained sound to follow up with how awkward she felt… She looked over her shoulder to see if she could escape. 

Bran and Neely weren’t there anymore… shite.  Licking her lips, she avoided eye contact.  “It’s very sweet of you,” she cleared her throat, trying to be as diplomatic and not have a serious panic.  “Thank you.”  Even if her voice sounded strangled and uncomfortable, it was better than hyperventilating or crying.

Although he was curious about what Jordyn had written, he instead watched Jordyn read his entry in her yearbook. She looked up at him, her face distressed. Well, he had expected that. She hadn't exactly been jumping for joy when he'd said it out loud, and right now she looked antsy too. She wouldn't look at him, either, which broke his heart.

He got up and made his way towards her, slowly, as not to spook her. She looked about ready to run, like a stray cat when you got too close. Her voice was shaky and all Jai wanted to do was make her feel better... but he didn't want to take back what he said. It was a nice thing to say, he decided. Jai wanted her to know how he felt, regardless of the consequences.

"It's very sweet of you... thank you."

While he hadn't expected her to say the words back, a small part of him was still crushed when she confirmed his assumption. Still, it was okay, and at least she was still here. He kissed the top of her head and held her in his arms. "Of course," he answered simply. He pulled away a bit and studied her face, trying and failing to read her thoughts. "Want to sit?"

Her skin was practically crawling.  Jordyn was not comfortable with being emotional.  Her family wasn’t exactly brimming with affection, she’d been left home a majority of the previous summer and most holidays were spent as solitary as possible – or Jordyn was avoiding home.  Hell, she’d stayed at Hogwarts for most of the breaks this years – it wasn’t as though she was missing much at home. 

So, the combination of words and Jai touching her made her throat feel like it was closing up – like she was allergic to it or something.  She brought the book to her chest, reflexively allowing space for him and just tried to breathe without hyperventilating.  She closed her eyes for a moment and focused, that’s something she’d learned to do to cope with any oncoming panic: just close your eyes and breathe… even if it was intolerably warm. 

When he pulled away, Jordyn could have sworn she probably had sweat stains all under her arms.  Thank goodness for the color black, she thought to herself and let out a deep breath.  Bran and Neely were now gone – she didn’t really know where they went.  Where else would she sit?  Letting the book fall from her chest, she smoothed the page out and gently closed it with a dull thud.  “Sure,” she answered lamely, still biting her lip.

She took a couple of steps into the car and sat down, placing the book next to her before she smoothed out her skirt over her legs.  An uncomfortable silence settled in the car for several moments, making Jordyn's cheeks redden and heart thud loudly in her ears.  “How does it feel, riding for the last time?” she looked up at him, rather curious actually.  And it was a much easier topic of conversation (at least for Jordyn). 

Jordyn's nervousness seemed to ebb as the topic changed, but for once Jai wasn't elated by her decision to stay near him. She sat down and put her yearbook next to him, which said to Jai that she didn't want him sitting next to her. He hid a frown and then sat across from her, hoping nobody would enter their cart. They needed to talk, and the lucky thing about trains was that they had no escape.

How does it feel, riding for the last time?"

Since graduating, Jai had been thinking a lot about his "lasts." His last glimpse of the great hall, and of course his last train ride. "Better, now that you're here," Jai shrugged. Train rides were train rides, and this one felt strangely non-important for how significant it actually was.

Studying his girlfriend, Jai was trying to figure out how best to face this situation with Jordyn. Should he just let it go? Leave it be until it became an actual problem? ....Was it even an actual problem? He sat uncomfortably, searching for words that weren't coming. "Hey, I don't wanna rush you into anything. I just like being around you... I more than like it, clearly," Jai looked down, bashfully. "I just wanted you to know. You don't have to feel the same way. It's okay." And it was, he meant this genuinely. Jai was used to being the more emotional one in most situations; he was sensitive and he knew it.

That was an anti-climactic answer, which made Jordyn uneasy in the seat.  How could be so calm about this?  She imagined that next year she would be a crying mess on the train because it was the last thing – the real marker of going into adulthood.  Sure, she’d turned seventeen and that was all well and good, but it wasn’t the same.  She was still a student and that was its own marker as still a child. 

Jai was taking it incredibly well for someone who had anxiety.  She felt like she was taking it worse.  Though, to be perfectly honest, she was fairly sure there were other things that were making her anxiety flare like it was no one’s business. 

She just didn’t want to focus on the things that were giving her anxiety – like Jai’s insistence that he was in love with her.  Obviously that couldn’t be true.  She was still pretty much a kid and she didn’t feel old enough for that to be true, plus he was so nice to her and that seemed like odd too.  Jordyn wasn’t nice like that.  She didn’t deserve it. 

“It’s not…” Jordyn twisted her hands in her lap, unsure of how to say what she wanted to say.  “Just...” Jordyn let out a deep breath and felt her heart thumping in her chest.  “It’s so hard to talk about,” she bounced in her seat a little bit and took a deep breath through her nose, rolling her eyes upwards as though she could look into her mind to find the words she needed. 

“You’re too nice to me,” she finally settled on, lowering her eyes to look at him.  “You don’t have to talk to me like that… I’m happy with you,” she explained, finding the momentum to talk a little bit more freely.  “It’s just… soon,” she licked her lips and looked up again, trying to find more words, “and I don’t think you know me well enough… to… use that…”

It was important to Jai that Jordyn felt comfortable, and as she explained herself Jai began to understand her reluctance. He nodded along with what she said, really just happy that she was telling him how she was feeling instead of running away. Not everyone's family was as over-the-top and emotive as his was. From a young age he'd watched his aunts cry and panic about the events that they'd witnessed at the Battle at Hogwarts; he'd watched his parents cry as they explained what had happened to Fae. They were a touchy, caring bunch.

But he got the feeling that Jordyn didn't necessarily have the same upbringing. She was right, he didn't know her to well. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. But... she'd seen parts of him that no one ever had. He was able to talk to her in ways he couldn't with anyone else. While Jai wasn't the most gregarious of people, he was relatively social, albeit quiet and bookish. The connection he felt with Jordyn was totally different, and the only name he knew for it was 'love.'

"Firstly... I can't be too nice to you. I'm just being..." Jai couldn't articulate exactly what it was that he meant. He sighed. "You deserve nice things, Jordyn." He smiled a little as he said this, but mostly he was staring at her, analyzing why she would think any differently. "I hope you trust me enough to get to know you well enough for you to eventually feel the way I do..." he brushed his fingers through his hair  and paused. "Words are just words. I just know, you're special. And I care about making you happy, no matter what it takes. I don't know why. I just do."

It was nearly impossible for Jordyn to accept what Jai was saying.  She felt so awkward and there was a lot of tension in the train car.  She didn’t really understand how he could say that.  She turned her eyes back up toward the ceiling of the cart again and bounced in her seat a little, trying to stop herself from giving in to the burning sensation forming at the corners of her eyes. 

She couldn’t believe she wanted to start crying.  It was weird.  She didn’t think she deserved anything.  She earned things, but that wasn’t like affection or anything.  Taking a deep breath through her nose, she held onto it for a moment before the gradual release from her mouth.  It was like one of those things you read about but never really happened and she felt like such a capital idiot.  Could she even feel that stuff?  It was weird. 

She wasn’t sure if she actually could.  She knew she was capable of feeling warmth toward people and bonds and stuff… but love?  The very idea scared the living daylights out of her.  She was at a loss or how to say things she wanted to say and she knew Jai wasn’t going to believe her.  “Fine,” she sniffed in a sort of high pitched voice.  “That’s fine - I mean, it's good.  You're good," she nibbled on the inside of her lip and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.   

Now Jordyn looked just about ready to cry, which made Jai instinctively switch sides of the trolley they were in, smoothly moving her yearbook to the other side. As she agreed to the profession of love somewhat like a petulant child, Jai looped his arm around her and smiled when she told him he was good.

Even though their relationship was apparently in the clear (at least for now), Jai still felt like something was missing. Clearly Jordyn was feeling emotions that she was trying to suppress, and he wished that she didn't feel that way around him. He wanted her to be able to share things, be open with him. Perhaps the train back from Hogwarts wasn't the place to do it, so Jai could only hope that the time for such communication would come.

"You know Jord..." He said, "You can talk to me about anything." Jai didn't want to make her feel pressured to say anything now, so he added, "I mean, you've seen me do some.... pretty embarrassing things." Unfortunately this was not a reference to a single event. Jai had passed out from the sight of blood on their first date, had shown up drunk wearing an assortment of mysterious items on the first night they'd.... been together. He'd had a panic attack in the middle of a bookstore, in front of the owner of the store, and she was still there. "I'm here for you, is all I'm saying. Like you were there for me through... all of that."