When he brought up his family, Jordyn seemed nervous, and Jai was sympathetic. If she had asked him to visit while her parents were home, he would probably be having a panic attack right about now. "It's okay to be nervous," Jai comforted her. "They're scary." He smiled because it was pretty much the truth. "But don't worry, I'll fight them off for you." He winked and kissed her on the nose.

He'd like to visit her house more, though. If her parents were really going to be away, well -- that offered a lot of options. it was better to hang out in an empty house, just the two of them, with the freedom to do whatever they wanted rather than restricted by parents and rules and such. That would be worse than at school, and it would be stressful. They'd already been caught by Professor Storm, and being caught in trouble by his mother and yelled at in front of his girlfriend was probably the worst thing he could imagine.

"If you do come over.... I just don't want you to be too surprised.... I might live in Belgravia... but the house is a family heirloom..."

Jai didn't know what that meant, but the last thing he cared about was how big the house was. "I just wanna hang out with you, I don't care where the house comes from," Jai assured her. As far as he was concerned, they could hang out in a tent on the side of a barn full of smelly hippogriffs and he'd be pleased. He snuggled Jordyn close and nuzzled her head. She fit so nicely in the crook of his arm.

 “They can’t be that scary,” Jordyn reasoned toward Jai, and partially to reassure herself.  “I mean, they made you – and you’re probably one of the nicest people I know.”  That was true.  He was so nice to her, and kind to most people, really.  She had never seen him be mean or say anything mean about anyone – which was more than she could say for herself – or any of her other friends.  Bran had mean things to say all of the time, and most of the time (unless they were about people Jordyn liked), she’d agree with him. 

She gave him a skeptical look as he kissed her on the nose and she sighed.  “I guess if you want to though, I won’t stop you.”  She tried to look serious, but failed fairly miserably in that.  A smile quickly crept over her face and she laughed, leaning her head against him. 

The way his arm wrapped around her and the pressure of his cheek on the top of her head that was comforting.  She’d read something about compression – pressure – calming the sympathetic nervous system.  A solid hug was what anyone who was prone to panicking could use in a tight spot.  Jai was a good hugger.  He didn’t really understand what she was saying though. 

Reaching up, Jordyn rubbed her hand over her face, leather against her cheek and then she dragged her hand downward, covering her mouth before she let it free and a deep sigh escaped her.  “It’s not where the house comes from,” she said in a small voice.  “It’s just… my parents…” Jordyn shook her head and rubbed her hands together in between her knees.  “My dad kind of messed things up for us,” she sighed.  “I know what people think about my family... but it’s not true.  Like no one knows,” literally, no one.  Jordyn kept it a very closely guarded secret.  “We don’t really have anything…”

When Jordyn told him that he was one of the nicest people she knew, he couldn't help but feel a bit bashful. Jai was always unsure about how he should take compliments. He never really felt right about accepting them. He knew that he was a nice person, but it was strange to have it pointed out to him. His family was nice too, though. And so Jordyn had nothing to worry about.

He ran his fingers through her hair, gently scratching and massaging her scalp idly as he listened to her. Jai was surprised to hear the news about her family and their home, wondering what it was that her father had done to (Jai assumed) bankrupt his family. Jai didn't allow his face to react and instead kissed the top of her head. He moved the hand that had been scratching around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze.

"That must be hard," Jai commented, not really knowing what else to say. "But it doesn't matter to me if you don't have.... stuff. I just want to see you," he looked into her eyes, his own set genuine and smiling, and he kissed Jordyn's nose. "Besides, then we can really make it our own. Play pretend, and that." He smiled supportively and paused, thinking a moment before adding, "If you want to. If you'd rather not have me over, I understand."

 It was awkward.  Jordyn didn’t really know how to feel about saying it out loud.  There was a lot of anxiety that there would be someone near them, someone to overhear and spill the Bertie Botts to everyone else in the school.   She had a reputation to uphold and she wasn’t necessarily afraid her friends would abandon her or anything, but it would get rid of a lot of her social credit that she’d stored up.

People treated you differently when they thought you had money and connections.  It didn’t matter whether it was true or not – it was the illusion.  That shattering on a large scale would be devastating.  “I know it doesn’t matter to you,” she tried to be convincing about that.  She was a little nervous it would actually matter to him, once he saw.  “But other people,” she said with some level of nervousness, “I don’t know.” 

She shrugged and settled into his side, pursing her lips.  “I just figured you should know,” she added, wrinkling her nose as he suggested playing pretend.  “Play pretend?” she asked, tilting her chin so she could look up under her eyebrows and eyelashes at him.  “I would still have you over,” she smiled a little bit, “but now I don’t know if you’d rather hang out with your little sisters and their tea sets or with me!” her spirits lifted a little with the humor. 

It didn’t fix the fact that she took another cursory glance around the garden, just to make sure that someone else wasn’t around – one more time.  She put her hand down on the bench again, her fingers brushing against the envelope – suddenly remembering.  “Oh!” she breathed, looking down to pick it up.  “I have something for you.” 

Growing up, Jai's family had lived comfortably but not lavishly. He had everything he needed but not necessarily everything he wanted. Because of that, he couldn't really wrap his mind around the type of wealth that Jordyn had been raised around. "Who cares about those types? Money isn't everything... it's who you are on the inside, right?" He looked at her encouragingly, feeling bad that she was insecure about wealth. She was smart and interesting and gorgeous... that was more than enough.

The notion of 'playing pretend' seemed to confuse Jordyn, and he didn't want to freak her out by clarifying what he meant. If she wasn't ready to think about them in context of husband and wife, even if it was just make believe, then he wasn't going to make things awkward by suggesting it. He didn't elaborate and instead dramatically scoffed at Jordyn's mockery. "You try telling them no!" Such a thing was an impossible task.

Since Jordyn had shared her family tribulations, maybe he should give her some warning about his as well. "There is one thing about my family, well my littlest sister Fae..." he felt a pang of sadness having to think about what he was telling Jordyn. "She's 9. She was attacked by a werewolf a few years ago, and..." He sighed. "Well, she's a werewolf too." He let the fact hover in the air for a moment before adding, "She's probably the bravest kid I know. Bravest person. She's still really smart and cheery and can't wait to go to Hogwarts." Hopefully that was possible, and the growing number of werewolf students and professors gave Jai hope that his sister would be permitted to come.

"I have something for you."

This came as a surprise. Jai hadn't been expecting anything at all besides Jordyn's company, but he was curious to see what Jordyn had brought with her. He grinned broadly at her, then took the envelope and opened it up. "Did you make this?" Jai asked, impressed. He looped his arm around Jordyn and kissed her on the head, then the nose, then the lips. "Thanks, Jord," he said softly while nuzzling her a bit. He savored the moment, closing his eyes and trying to remember the warm feeling of Jordyn's body up against his. He was really, really going to miss this.

Jai was really good to her.  He always had something so sweet to say to her, so right – like he knew how to make her feel better about her problems.  It was really something, she didn’t even really know if she deserved it.  What had she ever done that was half as kind as the things he said to her?  Sure, she helped him in the store that once – but that was hardly comparable.  He was always doing nice things for her… Jordyn could only imagine what other people thought. 

She had a bit of an idea: after all, she had a reputation of being cold, fierce, and the word frigid and mean had been thrown about a couple of times when people thought she was out of earshot.  She just kept to herself, and didn’t like to project her feelings everywhere.  “You’re probably right,” she kicked her feet back and forth against the ground and nodded. He was right. 

Well, he’d stay right as long as no one else found out.  That’d be the end of her, honestly.  Of course, it appeared there were other people with demons.  She knew Jai had worries – maybe something different – but it was like her to some degree.  But, she only knew about one sister.  She’d met his teenage sister, rather awkwardly, once.  But the younger?  She’d had no idea.  Jordyn reached over and put her hand over his, giving his fingers a light squeeze.  “I’m sure she’s lovely,” she said with a little smile.  “And I’m sure I can’t wait to meet her – and even play tea party, if that’s what she’d like to do.” 

She smiled warmly at him, another tiny squeeze of his hand before she was procuring the card she’d made.  “It’s just something small,” she blushed as he seemed so keen on it.  In all honesty, it really did feel like just a silly little thing, but she’d worked on it and the message inside was full of congratulations and reassurances, plus sweet things she probably wouldn’t want anyone else knowing that she’d written it. 

Kissing him back, Jordyn lowered her eyes and felt a distinct blush coming on.  “It’s nothing big,” she said honestly, “but… you’re graduating, and I wanted to make sure I got you something before the year ended.”  She bit her bottom lip in expectation, “You should open it up,” she motioned to the card before folding her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers anxiously in her palms. 

It felt natural to do small favors and give compliments to Jordyn. It was more than easy to come up with things to say. Really, if he could make a career out of being crazy about Jordyn, he'd be set. He worried sometimes about how he would feel once they weren't in the comfortable setting of Hogwarts. For the entire time they had been dating so far, they had essentially no difficulty meeting up to hang out. Sure, there was business with exams and curfews.... but they were in the same building. Jai couldn't just drop in at Hogwarts whenever he pleased. That was weird for reasons beyond his relationship with Jordyn.

He loved to just watch her. He quickly realized that the affection and 'soft side' of herself was something she was reluctant to share and felt lucky that he was one of those special people. It was like coming home to a cozy fire after a long walk through the snow. As she chatted about future interactions with Fae and the rest of his family, Jai found himself perfectly picturing her there. He couldn't help himself- his face flushed and his neck felt warm. He kissed her on the top of her head. "I can't wait," he told her.

On top of everything else, he was getting presents. He really liked the cute design on the cover- he didn't know that Jordyn had a flair for design. Looking over at her, he noticed that she was fidgety and nervous. She encouraged him to open it up and he smirked. "I don't know.... Is something terrible gonna happen to me, Miss Dimbleby?" He waved the card around, teasing a bit.

Something that Jordyn really loved was such a small thing –it probably didn’t even register as something he did to him.  But, when he kissed the top of her head it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  It was comforting and sweet. Jordyn would never have thought to do something like that, but Jai was naturally a lot more affectionate and touch based than she was.  Jordyn could just sit next to him with an inch of space between them and not think a word of it.  Jai was always the one pulling her in, wrapping his arm around her.  It always surprised her a little bit because it wasn’t her first instinct, but it was nice.  She liked feeling wanted.

The anticipation of him opening up her card, however, was enough for her to positively die.  She’d worked hard on it when she should have been studying for exams, so there was a distinct part of her that wanted to say that he best like it!  He was teasing her about it though and Jordyn pursed her lips and sat up straighter, turning on her best ‘bitchy’ face and scooted her legs to face away from him.  She purposefully tossed her hair so it would brush against him in the throw and she sighed. 

“That’s for me to know, isn’t it?” she said in her best prissy voice, glancing over her shoulder with a cold look that she could only maintain for a couple of moments.  The façade cracked rapidly though, and she wrinkled her nose – though did not bend enough to turn back toward him.  “It’s not as though I worked hard on that or anything…” she sighed, obviously over blowing the whole thing.  “I guess you can save it for later though,” she raised her eyebrows a little bit and smirked, “you know, when you’re all alone in your dorm.” 

Jai let Jordyn tease him just as he had done to her, smirking (and blushing a bit) as she referenced his 'alone time' in the dorm room. His mind jumped to a very specific situation and he was pretty sure it was the exact scenario that Jordyn was referencing. He finally opened up the card and read what Jordyn had written.

It was so sweet. And he had just been thinking about how particular Jordyn could be with her affections... this clearly was a significant moment. Seeing the words written down, about how proud and happy Jordyn was with him, he couldn't help it - he kissed Jordyn giddily. His heart felt like it was swelling up to fill his entire body, but instead of panicking about the strange sensation, Jai said "I love you."

This being the first time he said it, he was nervous about Jordyn's response but hoped it wasn't going to be freaking out and leaving. He waited tentatively but didn't regret saying what he knew was true.

When Jai finally decided he was going to open the card she’d made, Jordyn felt little pixies of excitement bouncing around in her stomach.  She didn’t necessarily show affection to people, she certainly wasn’t a person who thrived on touch, but the idea of writing down her feelings and being able to say something she couldn’t really say out loud because she was embarrassed or uncomfortable with feelings… that was a lot easier. 

So, she was a little bit nervous about what he was going to say about it.  She didn’t know what to expect.  He looked happy and then he kissed her and Jordyn’s nervous pixies turned into happy ones.  She might not have been the first one to initiate a touch, but she really liked kissing Jai.  It felt so nice. 

She was about to comment that she was glad he liked the card when the words died in her throat.  She could have sworn she heard him say that he loved her, but that couldn’t possibly be true.  Obviously she was hearing things.  Her smile faltered a little bit and Jordyn took her hands back into her lap.  The little naggling feeling that she had to leave cropped up in the back of her head. 

Jai was so good to her and he looked so honest and sincere.  But… she couldn’t do anything for this right now.  “I… um…” Jordyn bit her lip and then stood up.  “I’m happy you like the card,” she motioned to it weakly and smiled with anxiety clearly evident on her face, “I should go back the dorm… revising… you know…” she let out a deep breath and couldn’t make eye contact with him.  She didn’t know how she felt about it. 

“See you later, Jai,” she added softly and then turned to try and make a quick exit.  She felt terrible and awkward, even the pressure behind her eyes was building.  The same thought came back to her that usually did: she was a terrible person.

Jai could have placed galleons on Jord's freaking out and running away in response to his confession. He would have won good money, too, based on Jord's reaction. She did, of course, freak out - but she also wanted to leave. It didn't even bother Jai that she didn't say it back; it was that she couldn't accept it, couldn't find herself deserving of love.

"Jord, wait!" Before she could slip away from him, he grabbed for her hand. He gently pulled on the gloved fingers. She didn't have to turn around to hear what he was going to say. "I know you're probably scared.... It's okay if you don't say it back. I don't expect anything. I just wanted you to know." He hoped that this helped her calm down. He didn't let go of her hand but didn't force her to turn around. She'd ease into returning to him eventually.

There was that weird feeling in between where you wanted to cry because you didn’t know what you were doing and the point of where you wanted to throw up.  Jordyn felt that right now, it was kind of a dizzy feeling in her head with pressure and a swirling stomach.  This was not comfortable. 

At least once she started to leave, the feelings ebbed a little.  If she went back to the dorm and cracked open a textbook she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.  Maybe it would even go away and Jai would realize how silly he sounded and how he didn’t mean that.  That stuff was for adults and people who had things figured out.  Jord didn’t, and from what she knew of Jai, she didn’t think he had it figured out either. 

As he grabbed onto her hand, Jordyn’s eyes widened, like a doe that got stumbled upon in the forest.  She didn’t turn her head toward him, she felt so bad, but that didn’t seem to stop him from talking anyway.  Part of her wished it had.  “I’ll talk to you later, Jai,” Jordyn said quietly, flexing her fingers to try and free them from his grasp. 

“I just… really have to revise right now.”  She could retreat to something she was good at.  It’d make her feel better.  “See you, Jai.”  She finally wrestled her fingers away and wrapped her arms around her torso and started to book it – boot heels clicking rapidly against the cobbles as she fled.