title reference

Neely Woolfolk was not just a witch, she was a witch, as in woman, as in an officially, completely mature goddess of experience, and that first year had better scramble out of her way. The sixth year stomped by as if she were a runway model a whole foot taller than her actual height, giving the almost-the-same-height younger year a look that said, 'That’s right, you know who I am.'

The un-virgin came to a stop as if she were on a catwalk, clothes swishing about her, expression knowing. She looked up at the peach as if they had a mutual understanding, a VIP and a club bouncer. She reached up to tickle it and waited for the entrance to the kitchen to materialize. The elves clustered nearest the door looked her way, sharing greetings and smiles. “Miss Neely! Welcome back to the kitchens. Fresh cocoa for you? Iced? Cinnamon has fresh biscuits too. Would Miss Neely like a sample?”

Like babies with arms full of sweets, who thanked you when you took them, the elves quickly packed a basket with more than even Neely had asked for. She offered them her own glittering smile and gracious thanks, only a little bossy as she asked for the things she wanted most— the elves did not seem to mind.

Five minutes later, she was leaving the kitchens (looking both ways for mood-killing professors, as dungeon sidewalk safety required), the basket stuffed magically into her purse. It had been such a smart investment. For Daddy.

When she made it through the porthole and into the common room, it was pleasantly quiet. But not quiet enough for a life-events-swapping picnic with Jordyn. Neely crossed to the stairs to the girls’ dormitory and entered, sighing as if all the weight in the world was lifted from her shoulders when she saw that Jordyn was alone. She pushed away from the back of the door and flicked her wand at its handle, locking it.

“I hate the time before exams.” Also the countdown to her birthday. “It’s like they think we don’t have lives and we’re just supposed to sit around studying.” Did they think Neely’s life revolved around school? She smiled. “At least the dorm is empty.”

She opened her purse and peered inside, this time sticking her wand at its mouth. Soon enough, a picnic began to spread out on her bed. Neely kicked off her shows and climbed up, lifting the iced hot cocoa from a sturdy silver tray that kept it from bouncing around when the girls shifted on the mattress. “I’ve needed this my entire life,” she gushed dramatically before taking a sip and letting her eyelids flutter in gratification. “Tell me all about yours,” she added, as she pulled it away and flopped down onto her elbows, legs bending at the knee and kicking lightly in the air behind her.

Jordyn had been studying for days with only a brief interlude of... enlightening social interaction with her boyfriend.    Sometimes she didn't know how she was still standing.  After classes,  she finally caved.  She took a nap.  Jordyn curled up in her bed while everyone else left for dinner and whatever else they were going to do and she slept.  Whether it was minutes or hours later when she woke up. Jordyn didn't care.  She was alone and it was quiet.  She rested on her mountains of pillows and closed her eyes again.  How long would this last? 

She lolled her head back and let out a long, drawn out sigh.  She heard the door open and frowned.  She hoped it wasn't someone annoying.  Peeking one eyelid open, Jordyn was at least happy it was Neely.  "Tell me about it," she sighed in agreement.  Usually she told Neely that she should be more school oriented but right now she totally understood the school ennui. 

When she finally sat up, Jordyn rubbed her eyes and refocused.  Neely was carrying a bag, which was not unusual, but she came to her bed and opened it.  Snacks came forth and Jordyn hadn't realized how hungry she was until the smell of fresh baked biscuits greeted her nose, and even better, an iced cocoa.  "You are my hero," she said with all the sincerity in the world and took a sip that practically made her eyeballs roll into the back of her head.  There was legitimately nothing better than the first sip of an iced cocoa, as Neely so aptly put in another way.  "I slept through dinner," she informed Neely, curling her legs under her and placed the glass on the serving tray. "I've never been happier to see a biscuit in my life."

She lifted the chocolate disc to her mouth and bit down with the most satisfying crunch in a long time.   Her eyes closed again just to savor the bite.  Jordyn breathed slowly out of her nose and finally came back to her senses enough to run a hand through her hair (good measure after a nap) and pursed her lips. "My life is one study guide after another," she informed Neely with a visible pout.  "I've only seen Jai once this week," she informed her, trying not to blush at the memory. 

"What about you?" She asked with raised eyebrows over the cocoa she picked up again. 

Neely beamed. “You can thank me by going with me to that coffee house when we get off the train,” Neely said, as if the Hogwarts Express would free them tomorrow. “There’s no cocoa like London cocoa.” By which she meant she missed London, its food, its distaste for suburban fashion. “We can hit up the magazine stands… and walk by the boutiques… and visit the parks…” Everything. It was such a lush time of year.

Picking up a biscuit, too, she looked Jordyn over and decided she seemed like she could use more than a brief nap away from studying. (Not that she didn’t look fab! Just overworked!)

“I’ve seen Julian less than usual, too,” she admitted, with a frown. But not just once that week. She didn’t have the patience. “But soon we’ll get to see them all of the time.” She perked up, and a smile spread on her face. “And now I’ve joined you in the cherry-giving club, so…” Neely took a dignified bite of the biscuit, practically floating.

She waited for Jordyn to say something as she swallowed and took a sip of her cocoa.

“At least I think it’s stopped hurting, sort of… or it will soon… so I don’t have to worry about that and the soreness from too many exams.” Neely reached for another biscuit, giving her friend a knowing look. She and Julian had been good at practicing since that night.

"Of course I will," Jordyn laughed happily at her.  She was completely ridiculous, as if it was a question.  She doubted her parents would actually meet her there anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.  From their most recent letters they were spending quite a bit of time in the country and didn't know how often they'd be home.  Apparently her great aunt was sick, but Jordyn didn't know her well - she never liked children, as evidenced by a lack of her own - and Jordyn had little interest in going.  She would much rather do what Neely was talking about.  "Under a month until we can," she added - excited and nervous. 

She didn't want to go through finals.  It freaked her out, even if she'd done it give times before.  Every year it got harder and she suspected if she didn't pass something she'd get kicked out of the NEWT class.  She couldn't afford that.  But she was so tired and the biscuits and frozen cocoa were just what her tired brain needed. 

She blushed as Neely pointed out the 'club' they were in. She cleared her throat, sitting up straighter as a result: clearly posture would make up for any indignities in conversation.  "I'm not sure I understand what you're implying," she tried not to smile with embarrassment.  Maybe she did... But only her eyes would say it.  Jordyn's lips were decidedly sealed on most of the subject. 

Neely's were not, however.  Jordyn's cheeks burned as she expounded on the painful part of... being an adult.  Jordyn, of course, understood and had experienced it once... But not since then. Not that other stuff hadn't happened... but ah, she was all red again.  She distracted herself with a biscuit and another sip of cocoa. 

"Exams alone are painful enough," she said primly, leaving the rest of the inference for Neely to make.  Hopefully she'd understand what Jordyn was trying to say.  "But right now I don't even want to think about them," she sighed and threw herself back on her pillows dramatically (after putting her cocoa down). She rested the back of her hand against her forehead and breathed out of her nose, eyes still closed.  "Sometimes I wonder how professors want us to function," she peeked one eye open at Neely on the other end of the bed.

"Though it appears you've found your own method of stress relief.  I'm glad the schedule," a gift from the one and only Bran Blackwell, "was of use," her lip quirked into a little smile.  She almost added 'for both of us,' but thought better of it.  She closed her eyes again and tossed her head to the other side to hide her smile.  "I'm almost jealous." 

“That sounds so far away. At least my birthday is closer,” Neely reasoned. Still far. “Ugh, I want my apparation license like yesterday.” Poor Neely, having to reply on side-along.

If Jordyn was a little shy about the Officially Deflowered talk, Neely made up for it. “Oh please, you know what I mean,” she insisted, giving her friend an (endearing) look. “But it’s still a way more fun pain than papers. It goes away when it’s over,” she admitted, even if she had just alluded to the contrary. It didn’t even hurt that bad, and less and less each time, but Neely needed the world to know that she had done it. Or at least Jordyn.

Her smile grew as her friend suggested she didn’t want to talk about tests. She could agree to that. (After a little more complaining.) “Exactly! If they make it so hard that no one functions, it just makes them look bad. They want high success rates! Not that we aren’t successful,” she added quickly.

Laughing devilishly over the snacks, Neely glowed in the accusation. “It was! We’ve found a few of our own little places, too,” she explained. “It keeps getting better,” she confided. “So you should be really jealous. Not just almost…” She tilted her head. “Unless… what did you and Jai get up to this week?"

Neely could be so over dramatic sometimes – but in the best way possible.  She made Jordyn laugh.  “You’ll have it sooner than you think,” Jordyn soothed.  That might not have been true – she’d need to wait until next year, but Jordyn could help her out.  “I’d do sidelong… but I’m terrified I’d splinch you!” she informed her friend.  That was true.  It’d be horrible to do that.  She wouldn’t want to hurt Neely. 

There were some things Jordyn just couldn’t fix from the medical magic seminars. Splinching hadn’t been covered yet.  She could at least handle that topic of conversation.  She sometimes envied Neely’s openness about such a topic.  It had been suggested that her attitude about …intimacy… probably wasn’t healthy, but she couldn’t help it.  It wasn’t a topic in the Dimbleby household – an implicit understanding that it was something that people just did not discuss with anyone. 

She couldn’t imagine other families were different, but maybe they were… Neely certainly led her to believe that was the case.  “I know it’s supposed to…” she gulped, “the first time… but really – after?”  Maybe she didn’t want to know.  Quickly reconsidering, Jordyn lifted her hand and held it up wit hthe shake of her head.  “Don’t tell me.”  She was sure Neely would anyway, but at least she could say she told her not to say it.  That was probably the best part of being curious with a friend who didn’t listen to you (for your own good).

She imagined there had to be things that she served the same purpose for in Neely’s life.  Otherwise, Jordyn tried to be utterly discreet about her… experiences.  She laughed at Neely’s assertion that they’d found their own places and shook her head.  “That’s playing with fire,” she informed her before looking at Neely with an utter look of shock (and disbelief). 

“What did we get up to?” she repeated, unable to feign innocence for very long before a giggly little smile crawled over her features.  She did want to tell Neely, but it was easier when she felt like she was being figured out rather than volunteering the information freely.  “I… well… we went to the abandoned classroom…” Jordyn blushed and lowered her voice to a whisper.  “I mean… we didn’t… you know,” she said, “but other things…”

She didn’t know how to talk about what happened – since she didn’t want to use the actual words – but she figured Neely could probably figure it out.  Hopefully.  “It wasn’t so bad,” she admitted, really biting her lip.  She cleared her throat.  "Where were you?" she turned the question elsewhere.  That was much easier.

“And you’re the maid of honor,” Neely assured her. Because whose legalizing birthday wasn’t wedding-level important? “Or not maid…” Neely raised a hand to her to heart, splaying it and fluttering lashes. “Thank you. But I know you can Apparate. You have the right shoes for side-along Apparition.”

Neely took another sip before pulling the straw away with a grin. And a clarification. “Not after as in all of the time, it just… hurts a few times. You have to adjust,” she said, making it sound as there was a lot to adjust to. Because there was. If Jordyn was serious about not telling her, Neely didn’t take the clue. Besides, her friend would forgive her. The blonde had an adorable face. “Ease into it and you’ll be fine. If you’re sore, you just have to do it some more.” Weren’t they always being told that practice makes perfect.

Preening at Jordyn’s apparent warning, Neely moved on to discuss her friend’s conquests. Conquest. A look of delighted scandal (not too scandalized) appeared on her face. “What other things?” She demanded, picking up a cookie. “Like did he… or did you…?”

Judging by Jordyn’s whisper to blush ratio, Neely was betting the former. She was a legilimens like that.

Especially if it wasn’t bad. Neither activity was, but… one had more pay off.

“We were,” Neely said, leaning in close, her voice hushed, “In Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.”

For all of the things that Neely said to mortify her, she could also be quite supportive.  “It’s all in the shoes, isn’t it?” she smiled, happily chipping away the corner of a biscuit with her two front teeth.  She liked the chocolate ones.  She was glad the elves had included them.  It was also a good way to occupy herself while Neely spoke anyway.

Jordyn was not happy about what she was saying – as true as it might be.  It was difficult enough for her to muster up the courage to do anything – let alone something that would hurt… but… she knew other things that didn’t.  Jordyn bit her lip and sighed.  “I’ll have to take your advice,” she said lamely, knowing that she’d get along somehow.

She wanted to, anyway.  She liked Jai… she really liked him.  So when Neely questioned, her cheeks lit up like a pair of remembralls.  “He…” she lowered her voice, “well… I mean, I didn’t do as much back – but it was fun,” she lowered her eyes and blushed again.  It was weird to be so embarrassed about it.  It wasn’t like she’d been entirely embarrassed at the time.  Not at all, actually. 

Clearing her throat, Jordyn was definitely more concernred with what Neely had just revealed anyway.  “Really?” Jordyn asked, a bit skeptical at the prospect.  “I mean… doesn’t she… isn’t she?”  There were words Jordyn was looking for, but she couldn’t quite grasp the diplomatic way to say them. 

Instead, Jordyn just spat it out.  “How did you do that? She’s annoying,” she pursed her lips, “and wouldn’t she just watch the whole time?” 

“Always,” Neely said, (unknowingly) with the same level of sincerity as a famous ex-professor. Shoes were what made the world go round… or at least made fabulous people go around the world.

Her smile widened, guileful at the idea that she might be able to teach Jordyn a thing or two. If Neely thought herself an expert in all arenas, she was generally the one trying to remember words of wisdom from her dear friend. Now that she had caught up and possibly surpassed Jordyn in the sexy time arena, Neely was ready to give a seminar.

“You know, if I didn’t have BWF legilimency with you, I would need more detail,” she accused, giving her friend a very obvious stare. “But I know what you mean,” she giggled, giving the whipped cream atop her drink a little lick.  “Or…” She placed her fingers around the cop, letting them sweep up the condensation, then, finally, still cackling, took a sip through the straw. “It’s a good way to get going for other stuff, you know…”

Sitting up on her elbows a little, Neely laughed. “She’s so weird,” she lamented, her face quickly becoming sour. “She was totally spying. But at least she’s the only one ever in there, and she’s not like… solid… so who’s going to believe her? She moans about everything.” Which made a nice cover for Neely’s own noises. “Julian still finished, of course. He’s very ambitious.”

Thank Godric for Neely’s dedication to creative ways of getting information.  Jordyn did not care for sharing things, but the subject endlessly intrigued Neely.  She hadn’t anticipated the continued interest after it had happened but that only seemed to spur her friend on more.  Jordyn would be happy to find the next thing that would capture her friend’s attention so much… especially because Jordyn couldn’t even bring herself to be as open about it.  Clearing her throat, Jordyn composed herself.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and tried to figure out HOW she was going to speak.  “He did the first,” she informed her still blushing wildly.  It was hard to admit out loud!  She still couldn’t believe it.  “I did the second.”  Now Neely knew everything (well, everything as far as Jordyn was going to say).  She knew she wouldn’t judge her, per se, but it felt so wrong to talk about it. 

Well, it felt wrong for her to talk about it. Neely could talk about it all she wanted – and she needed to in order to answer all of her questions.  The logistics of the particular location they’d picked was just mind boggling to Jordyn.  She didn’t even think Bran had ventured there – and that was probably saying something.

“It is her bathroom,” Jordyn said with raised eyebrows.  “But I can imagine that’d be… awkward.  Next time... you should probably go somewhere else,” she wrinkled her nose.  Jordyn would have died.  Even someone non-corporeal shouldn't be privy to private moments like that.  Of course, maybe it was silly of her but something Neely said left a bigger question hanging in the air.  “Wait,” she took another sip of her cocoa and drew her eyebrows in.  “Still finished?” 

She licked her lip (free of whipped cream and in thought) before tilting her head to the side.  “What do you mean?”

Neely had found a heightened way to speak the language of Friend, apparently. Because now she was getting places. The koala-faced blonde grinned from ear to ear as Jordyn finally admitted it. A inhale of delight followed, and then Neely sat up a bit before somehow shifting forward, making her presence more obvious for her blushing friend. It was what friends were for.

“You’re totally on your way to writing articles for Witch Weekly, Jordy. I bet you drove him mad. See, he’s crazy about you.” She remembered fondly strategizing about Hogsmeade trips. Now it looked like the French riviera with a pair of boyfriends might definitely come true. And since hers was (or would be) graduated, he could buy all of the alcohol their hearts desired. But Neely thought she should pace herself before she brought this up. “So he’s really good, then?” She poked, taking another lick of her whipped cream— this time because she really wanted to. Jordyn had said it was fun, so Neely assumed. But she only had one boy to compare it to. She thought Julian was a very quick learner.

“It’s not her bathroom. It’s the school’s! She just stays there because she’s whiney and has no life,” Neely explained. Literally. “It’s kind of creepy, but not as bad as the headmistress finding us. I don’t need Julian to become a ghost, too. I have way too many plans for him.”

Laughing a little more as she took another sip, she elaborated. “You know, he…” She gestured again. “Sometimes they don’t. I read,” she added quickly. It wasn’t from personal experience. She always got the job done! “But you know, like, that’s for people who aren’t us to worry about. We’re way too alluring.”

 Jordyn wouldn’t go as far as to say she would be writing articles for anyone.  But, it was nice that Neely had so much confidence in her.  It made Jordyn slightly less horrified that things in her life were changing.  If anyone told her at the beginning of this year that she’d be sitting on her bed with Neely discussing if her boyfriend was ‘really good’ at things, she’d have died on the spot.

She probably could have died right now, actually, but she cleared her throat and breathed out slowly.  It wasn’t as though she had anything to compare it too, but she did know it was good.  Her cheeks flushed a little as she started to answer.  “I think so,” she said honestly, “I mean…” she licked her lips, trying to come up with something: “just wow.”   There was a hint of curiosity on her part though, and looking at Neely, since she seemed to know so much about it, she could at least ask.  “Isn’t Julian?”   

Since she didn’t have much else to say on the subject because she really didn’t know anything else about it.  Plus, there was the issue of the bathroom to tackle.  “Even so – she lives there,” she emphasized before pausing.  “Well, maybe not lives per se,” she amended with a gentle chewing of her bottom lip.  “But, I don’t know – I wouldn’t ever do that there.  I don’t know if anyone even goes there to actually use the toilets.” 

She wouldn’t have wanted to, that was for certain.  She really missed the prefect bathroom.  Hopefully next year though.  Head girl was just outside of her grasp – almost there.  She shook her head at the idea of… well… what Neely was describing and nodded in agreement.  “Obviously – I mean, don’t they only have advertisements for things like that for older wizards?” she wrinkled her nose, thinking she’d heard something like that on the wireless.  “I couldn’t imagine.  It must be even more embarrassing,” she added, obviously not having experience with it.  Dealing with teenage boys, she didn’t imagine they would.  Nibbling the biscuit again, Jordyn smiled. 

"Thank you, by the way," she added, gesturing to the spread.  "This was just what I needed."

The wow was exactly the perfect way to summarize it. (And among many one-word syllables Neely has used, in fact. During, of course, had had another set of single-syllable phrases.) “Oh, he is!” She rushed to say, almost breathless. There couldn’t be any question about Julian’s skills. If they had had some time to adjust… to direct… he had been a good listener. Someone that brilliant, cute, and stylish couldn’t be anything but. “Some boys don’t even like it, but we got the good ones.” She grinned again.

“But that’s exactly the point,” Neely said. “No one goes there!” Which made Neely and Julian a pair of geniuses. She could put up with a creepy ghost. Or hex her if there was really a problem.

If Neely felt similarly about older wizards, she giggled before she joined Jordyn in any nose-wrinkling. “It’s not going to happen to us, don’t worry. Jai won’t need a potion for like seventy years.” She waved a hand before picking up her cocoa again.

Delighting in the praise, Neely acted as if it were nothing. “You need fuel to get through these exams for your Head Girl campaign. No deserves it more than you. Biscuits are a must.” Neely  had been waiting for the moment as long as Jordyn had.

She still wasn’t sure how she felt about the bathroom thing.  She couldn’t imagine being okay with even a ghost being in the same room.  Of course, Neely had a slightly different perspective on all of this than Jordyn didn’t.  She wasn’t sure Neely was embarrassed by anything – except maybe a bad outfit, but that never happened for her and secondhand embarrassment didn’t really count, except for when they talked about it later.
 
Otherwise, Jordyn was totally ready to move on from that conversation.  She’d admitted way too much out loud to be comfortable (even with the muffling charms on her bed curtains).  Of course, Neely brought up the biggest stress in her life and Jordyn groaned, letting her head fall back and puffed out a big burst of air before she lifted her chin back and let her shoulders fall. 

“I hope everyone else sees it that way,” she admitted quietly.  This was easier to talk about, there was hardly any scandal involved, and Jordyn had wanted to be Head Girl since the moment she stepped off the Hogwarts express as a first year.  Now it was almost here and it wasn’t even in her hands.  Plus there were other people who could easily get it.  And the others hadn’t gotten sick this year and hadn’t been replaced as prefect because they couldn’t do their duties. 

It made her stomach turn.  “I mean, I know there are other people worthy of the title,” she gave Neely a look – it would be silly not to acknowledge it.  There were other students with amazing grades, and there were certainly other students who were exemplars of what a student should be like.  “I just don’t know if anyone wants it like I do,” she paused, “I don’t even know if that’s possible.”   

“I hope everyone else sees it that way,”

“Who wouldn’t?” She asked. Besides the obvious terrible and sad humans who weren’t worth their time. “Anyone with a real brain knows it’s yours. You work harder than the Hufflepuffs and you’re smarter than the Ravenclaws. You’re working at St. Mungo’s before we even graduate.”

Other people’s qualifications didn’t interest Neely too much. “But they’re not as deserving. And obviously they don’t want it as badly!” She scoffed. As if. Neely would be crushed, truly, if her friend lost it. They had talked about it since first year. Even George’s stick in the mud girlfriend had seemed supportive of Jordyn. That had to count for something. Maybe she could owl up a bunch of ex Head Girls for their endorsements.

“You know Bran and I will take care of it, if you want.” No one could make a poster like Bran or Neely. No one else had the eye. And no one had Jordyn’s headshots. Not that it was that that would get her the badge, ultimately. “Plus, you’re dating a seventh year. That makes you mature and realistic."