May 16th, Roughly 7:25 PM


Up down up down, sidesidesideside. In out in out sidesidesideside. Repeat.

Archie chanted to himself as he peered into a still steamy mirror and scrubbed his teeth with more vigor than probably necessary. Spatting out the foam, he squinted at himself, checking if there was any toothpaste in his beard or if his suit hung correctly. “Not bad…” He murmured to himself, as he stood to the side and sucked his paunch in as much as possible. “Not godlike for sure, but not bad either… in the right light and maybe after a few drinks.”

“You know, they say talking to yourself is one of the first signs of mental illness” A voice snickered from the doorway.

Caught off guard, Archie let out a shout of surprise and flailed his arms in what could have been an attempt to appear bigger had it not been so ridiculously ungainly. At that moment, his toothbrush, which was still in his hand, took it upon itself to fling out the open window, into the garden below.

Still in the doorway, though halfway to the floor at this point, his sister Gertrude wailed with laughter. She was laughing so hard, she was barely able to choke out “Looks like… you lost yo… your weapon there,.. b..bruv”

Sniffing, Archie lowered his arms and tried his best to appear nonchalant. “I meant to do that.” He said stiffly “It was an old toothbrush. Out with the old and in with the new, I always say” Glaring at her, he pushed past his still chortling sister. Naturally, she followed him to continue her mockery. You didn’t let such a sort of entertainment get away so easily.

“You never say that, Archie. You kept your last toothbrush until it was nearly bald and mom still had to chuck it in the bin when you weren’t looking…” She chuckled, trailing behind him as he strode towards the kitchen. “I am personally surprised you didn’t have a funeral for it, to be totally honest.”

He sighed. Apparently, Gertie’s memory was perfect when the memories were of him being dorky or embarrassing.  “Yes, well, I’ve changed.” He said flatly before trying to change the subject “Speaking of out with the old and in with the new, I…” Pause for effect, “…have a date.” The latter part of this statement was oozing with more pride than it probably warranted. Then again, it HAD been a long time.

“A DAAAATE?” An excited shout and a horrified cry mingled together as Toby and Gwen decided to appear at that exact moment. Archie sighed in resignation as they barreled into the room. Toby immediately perched on a stool and rested his eager face in his hands “Soooo...What’s her name?” he proded with an unnerving amount of excitement.

“Mai..ko…” Archie said slowly, immediately recognizing where this line of questioning would soon go and wishing desperately to escape. Unfortunately, Gertrude sensed this weakness and mimicked her nephews stance, staring up at him with inquisitive eyes. He cringed a little.

“What language is that?” asked Toby.
“Is she alive this time?” giggled Gertrude.
“Is she gonna be our new mommy?” worried Gwen, all at once.

“Uh.. Japanese I think. And like one time, Gertie, that happened once. It was a prank and you know it. And… “ He crouched down to be on eye level with Gwen, who stared guilt into him in only the way a daddies little girl could. “… I don’t know, honey. I mean, I can’t say I would say no but… its no where near time to be deciding that.”

“Well… Is she pretty?” Gwen asked. The other two sensed that she was going in for the kill and fell silent, watching the scene unfold like a particularly low budget B movie. Archie wasn’t surprised when Gertrude summoned a box of popcorn, red stripes and all, and munched on it loudly before silently offering some to Toby.

“Well… yes, she’s bloody gorgeous but that’s not..” Archie started to say when Gwen screeched “DADDY, THAT’S A SWEAR!” and pointed angrily at a mason jar on the shelf, nearly over flowing with knuts, that bore a label reading ‘Swear jar’ in crayon and backward r’s. Archie sighed and patted his pockets. “Ah… I am all out of knuts. How about a Kiss-O-U?” He said, grabbing her before she could run off and planting a sloppy kiss on her forehead. She squealed and wiggled her way out of his grasp, running to Gertrude for protection. Archie took that moment to try and slip away.

“Well, I had better get go—“ He started, but Gwen regained her composure and  scrambled to cut him off. “Is she smart?” She inquired.

Defeated, Archie rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed “Yes, she’s as smart as a whip.” he quipped, somewhat sarcastically.

Gwen looked unimpressed. “Whips aren’t very smart, daddy” she said matter-of-factly with a flat expression clearly condemning him for assuming she was stupid enough to believe such a thing.

”Ok, fine, she’s as smart as I am…” He said quickly, then paused and added under his breath “Maybe smarter…” Standing up, he dusted off his trousers and patted her on the head, saying, “Alright. Enough questions, I really need to…”
 
“Did you bring… you know… Protection?” His sister cut him off with a very loud whisper. Archie gave her an incredulous stare before hissing through his teeth “Um… Noooo… Because it’s not that sort of date. And also…” He jerked his head towards the kids “Really?”

“Why does he need protection, Aunt Gertie?” Toby asked through a mouthful of sandwich. “Is she gonna attack him or sumthin?” To which Gwen wailed “I don’t want her to hurt daaaaadddyyyyyy!”

Archie couldn’t help the smirk that crept across his face as he turned to his sister and said “Well I have to be off. Have fun with… all this…” He said, motioning towards the wailing Gwen and inquisitive Toby. It must be my lucky day, the shoe is on the other foot! He thought to himself as he made his way to the back door and shrugged into his over coat.

But his moment of triumph was interrupted when he felt a tug at his trouser leg and glanced down to see a bleary eyed 5 year old clinging to his leg. “Daddy…?” she murmured, clearly still filled with questions.

“I really have to go, monkey, but… fine, one more question.” He said, giving his watch a woeful glance before relenting to her stare.

“Do… Do you like her? More than mummy?” she murmured, toying with the fabric clenched tightly in her tiny hand. Archie pursed his lips, uncertain of what to say. Gwen mentioning her mother, whom she barely remembered let alone remembered fondly, was something of a surprise. It was no secret he didn’t like his ex-wife, but he had always tried to hide this fact from his children. They didn’t need to see him badmouthing her, even if she had hurt them as well.

Finally, after a moment of thought, he said “Yeah… I do. I mean, there was a time when I really liked your mum, but… she chose to not accept that love so… yeah, I do like her more than mummy.” It took everything in him not to add that he liked about anything, including getting stung repeatedly in the eyes by wasps, more than her mum. But she didn’t need to know that.

“Better… better than… me?” He heard her whisper into the folds of his jacket as she buried her head into his shoulder. His heartstrings aching, Archie pulled her close. “No, no monkey. I couldn’t like anyone more than you. Ever.” He murmured into her hair. “I like her in a different way, but that doesn’t mean I like her better. I swear.” He pulled away and held up his pinky.

“Okay…” She sniffed, rubbing away a tear before latching her much smaller pinky into his. Then, as if by magic, she smiled as though the last 5 or so minutes never happened. “If you like her, I’ll like her too…” She stated as if she had made up her mind on the matter.

Archie smiled and rubbed her back, before kissing her on the side of the head “Thanks monkey…” he murmured. Suddenly, the clock chimed loudly down the hall and Archie gasped “Oh… Shite… I’m late!”

“SWEAR JAR!” He heard her yell after him as he dashed from the door.

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll give you double kiss-o-u’s when I get back!” He shouted over his shoulder. He  barely heard her yell “I prefer money!” before popping out of existence.

A few minutes later, and about 10 minutes past the agreed meeting time, Archie stumbled into the restaurant. The maître d' eyed the bright pink flower sticker that Gwen had slyly stuck to his lapel and raised a carefully trimmed brow. Archie followed his eyes to the sticker and thought about tearing it off, but quickly decided that he didn’t care about what some snooty glorified waiter thought about it. Straightening his shoulders, Archie said in his most dignified voice “Reservation for Hughes.”

“Ah yes.” The maître d' said, his eyes flicking over the leather bound book in his hands before snapping it shut “This way. Your…” He paused and looked at Archie imploringly.

“… Date.” Archie added.

The man barely concealed his surprise as he looked Archie’s somewhat disheveled suit with its sticker boutonniere and sniffed “… C'est surprenant.”[1] Archie deduced he was being insulted but before he could say anything, the man added “This way. Your date has already been seated.” and strode off towards the table.

Archie couldn’t help himself. The moment the man turned around, Archie’s face crunched up childishly and he mouthed ‘your date has already been seated’ nastily before flashing his back a very rude gesture. When the host abruptly turned around, as though there were eyes hidden in the impossibly sleek hair on the back of his head, Archie’s rude hand gesture flew up into his own hair and he pretended to admire the room. “Nice… um… curtains.  Is that brocade?” He asked weakly.

“Your table sir.” The man replied stiffly, giving Archie a cool, tight lipped smile. As Archie took his seat across from Maiko, the maître d’ turned to her and, to Archie’s surprise, said rapidly in French “Madamoiselle, voulez-vous pour voir la carte des vins?” His eyes glanced towards Archie before adding “Ou peut-être vous avez besoin de quelque chose d'un peu plus puissant?”[2]

1.	That's surprising
2.	Madamoiselle, would you like to see the wine list? Or perhaps you need something a bit more potent.

As much as Maiko enjoyed going out to eat from time to time, she almost always preferred eating at home. There was something so formal about eating at a nice restaurant that wasn’t something Mai wanted to deal with when she wasn’t working. In her home and social life, she wanted room to be herself, the last thing she wanted was to be stifled. And here, she felt stifled.

While Archie was ten minutes late, Maiko had arrived ten minutes early. So, she was currently near the end of her second glass of water, elbow on table and chin resting on her hand. One knee was crossed over her leg. Now, now, she hadn’t been bored. She was doing some people-watching—making assumptions about strangers at other tables based on their interactions with each other. Still, Mai found it almost… A bit disrespectful that this Archibald was late for a first date, after being so difficult in previous interactions.

“Oui, s'il vous plait.” She responded, not even missing a beat. When he handed her the wine menu, Mai smiled politely and ordered a glass of a sweet red wine. Mai didn’t want to drink much more than that tonight, especially if she was to apparate home.

When Archie took a seat, she raised her eyebrows at the sticker on his jacket.

“What a fashion statement.” The witch raised her glass of water, motioning towards the sticker.

Archie waited respectfully as Maiko ordered her wine and after she was done, he begin to say "And I'll have--" as the maitre d' promptly walked away. "---What she's having apparently..." He added, partially under his breath. Maybe the guy really did have eyes in the back of his head and was getting back at Archie for the earlier gesture. Either that or he was just an ass. At least Archie hadn't snapped his fingers and called him Garcon, or else his food might come out spit flavored.

“What a fashion statement.”

"Eh?" Archie was torn from his thoughts to be reminded that Maiko was there and he had, so far, not been a very attentive date. "...Oh! Yeah... Gwen thought I needed a pop of color..." Grabbing at his lapel, he looked down at the stickers bright glittering pink petals and the little yellow smily face in the middle that was enchanted to wink randomly. "... Or...something anyways." He added.

Letting his lapel fall back into place, Archie looked up at her and realized in horror that he had no idea what to say. He was on a date with a beautiful, intelligent woman at posh restaurant and all he could think about was the weather. And puffy stickers. And how much he wanted to throw a tomato at the back of the Maitre D's head.

The silence seemed to stretch on for miles. In the span of a couple of minutes, he straightened the silverware, checked his tie, cleared his throat, licked his lips and finally, hammered out an arrhythmic drum beat on the table. Finally, he couldn't bear it anymore. "I'm sorry." He sighed "I... I will be honest. I am not good at small talk... or talking in general." He paused and then added "... or dates. Honestly, the last date I went on was pretty much a... dead duck..."

Realizing how weird that might have sounded, Archie quickly corrected myself "Er, I mean that only partially literally.... She wasn't actually a duck."

Gwen? Mai didn’t even try to hide her surprise. This Gwen was either his child or niece. But his tardiness was all so common with overwhelmed single parents. Still… How difficult was it, really, to be on time? Lateness was one of her biggest pet peeves, though it usually applied to herself or her family members than others.

“Looks like she was marking her territory.” Mai smiled wryly. Dad going on a date? That couldn’t be sitting well with a small child. Or at least, she assumed that this Gwen was a small child, judging by the winking sticker alone.

And then came a long silence. As much as the counselor loved to blabber on and on, she was just as comfortable with silences. In fact, uncomfortable silences were a regular occurrence in her office. She had no problem giving people time to think about what they wanted to say, if they wanted to say anything at all.  She simply took a few sips of her wine and looked at the menu, though her peripheral showed that this Archibald Hughes was fidgeting.

When he spoke, she looked up from the menu, mildly amused by the man’s awkwardness.

“She wasn’t a dead duck, but she was dead? No wonder you have problems talking to the living, if you prefer dates without a pulse.” Mai quipped,  though her tone was quite deadpan. She put the menu down, already knowing what she was planning to order.

"Gwen. How old is she?"

“She wasn’t a dead duck, but she was dead? No wonder you have problems talking to the living, if you prefer dates without a pulse.”

Archie spoke Sarcasm as his first language so he was excellent at recognizing it, even with a deadpan delivery. He was also good at reflecting it back without batting an eye "Well. Prefer is a strong word, but it certainly made having a conversation easier." He quipped back at her, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips "I thought it was a bit fishy when she laughed at my jokes, but it turns out that was just gas escaping."

When she asked about Gwen, Archie was surprised. Had he not told her he had children? His memory was spotty when not dealing with ancient history (a irony that was not lost on him). It didn't matter though. He was stuck with them and had long ago accepted this plight, so any woman he bothered to expend the energy to interact with outside of business had to also accept this fact. If she had an issue with him having children, then there was no point in this dinner continuing. Though the idea was rather depressing, since he was already enjoying their little back and forth, it would be a bit easier on his wallet. He could feel it shrinking inside his jacket as he looked over the prices on the menu.

Speaking of his waller, Archie dug into the recesses of his blazer as he replied "5... going on 15 unfortunately. Already has me wrapped around her little finger and I feel for the boys at Hogwarts in a few years..." Finding the block of leather in the third pocket he searched, Archie pulled it out and flipped it open to a well worn picture of him and his two kids. They were making faces at the camera and Toby was sharing a very stretched out knit cap with his father. It had been a phase of his. A very weird phase.

"That's Gwen, obviously" He said, a rare fondness rising in his voice. He coughed until it was stifled and pointed to himself "And that dashing, bearded fellow in the middle is, of course, myself." Then he pointed to Toby, who was in the process of making a fish face. "And this fish faced boy growing out the side of my head is Toby. I had to have him removed. Finding hats that fit was a nightmare."

She raised her eyebrows at his sarcasm and flared her nostrils at him, her nose stud moving along with the nostril. An unconscious act, but she was mostly pleased by the fact that he could quip back so quickly. Still, Mai was unsure about this guy. He was so inexcusably rude in the past. When Mai set her mind to it, she could hold a grudge like no other. It was something she worked on from time to time. Although her grudge was admittedly fairly petty, she had a firm grip on it.

The corners of her mouth curled up into a small smile. “I like kids.” She said earnestly. “She’s cute. He is too.” No comment on Archie’s looks, Ouch. To be fair, the children far outshined their father in that photo.

Maiko did like kids—and while she did want to be a mother one day, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to enter a relationship with a man who had children. She wasn’t opposed to it—but a single dad with children usually implied there was some baggage. Mai wasn’t against baggage, not necessarily. There was a limit she could reach, and she honestly wasn’t sure what that limit was.

“Toby then. He looks like he’ll be going to Hogwarts soon, in a couple years?” Mai took another sip of her water and tilted her head to the side. “Are you related to a Flynn and Alfred Hughes? They were in the year ahead of me in school.” She recalled some other Hughes as well, but couldn’t remember their names as she hadn’t interacted with them much.