It had been a toss-up between Professor Di Luca and Professor Storm, both of whom Linus kind-of respected in his own way. They could handle what was coming to them, after a full school year of being strict, evil, doxy bites. They handed out detentions like the Honeydukes Express handed out jelly slugs. Oh, the things that Linus had earned detentions for will pale in comparison with what was about to come.

Linus had missed dinner in order to set up. He usually only missed meals to go catch small creatures that could fit in the pockets of his robes, or for adventures.

He had been collecting frogs and toads on and off for… The entire school year, really. He had gathered the amphibian army and managed to dress them in tiny little frog clothes.  Dressing toads in cute little wizard robes was a fairly new, but popular trend among toad owners these days. At least, Linus claimed it was. He had told a rather sweet sixth year Hufflepuff[1]  that his frogs were cold and were being rejected by everybody else’s for not wearing clothes. He even put on sad eyes and wiggled those giant ears of his to enhance his cuteness.

This reckless little Gryffindor had also received a bit of Ooze from Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes for Christmas. His mother would not have approved if she knew. Linus was putting this sickly pink ooze to good use, and although it said on the container that it would be difficult to remove, Di Luca would probably be able to figure it out with her prolific potions abilities.

Step One: Linus snuck into Di Luca’s office, and put frogs wearing outfits in her desk drawers. She probably wouldn’t find those til later, Linus thought. The only frog that didn’t get placed in there was dear Francis, Linus’ most beloved pet.

Step two:  He filled a large bowl with ooze and managed to levitate and stick it above the door.  There was a step-by-step instruction list for this on the Ooze’s packaging. Once he left the office, the next person to walk into the Potion Mistress’s’ office would be sprayed with a sickly pink, sparkly ooze that smelled of vomit.

Step Three: Linus very carefully snuck out of Ezia’s office, and resisted any urge to open the door to make sure the ooze was in effect. 

Step Four:  ??

Step Five: Profit

Linus was nearly out of time. Surely Di Luca would be coming early in order to do lesson plans, right? That's all teachers did, as far as Linus was concerned.  Dinner was nearly over for everyone else, and his stomach was beginning to rumble. This would be worth it.

He exited through the potions classroom and waited in the hallway, sitting on the floor and playing with his frog. It wasn’t anything unusual for him. He usually explored with Francis before curfew.

1.

Ji-Hyun

As soon as she was done eating, the Potions Mistress[1] had left the Great Hall like her feet were on fire. There was a potion brewing in her private laboratory, and time was of the essence. So without paying much mind to her surroundings or to the minuscule Gryffindor currently lurking in the hallways of her dungeons, she entered the Potions classroom, door swinging open with just the wave of her hand. Stalking decidedly to the entrance of her office, which also led to her private laboratory, Lucrezia stopped in her tracks, eyebrows drawn in confusion and concentration.

There was something... off. After turning on the spot a few times, careful analysis of her environment, she shrugged and put it off to her subtle, but existent paranoia and carried on her way to the door. As soon as her hand pushed the door open, however, she knew something was decidedly out of order. But it was too late, and a viscous cold matter was already making its way down the sides of her head and her back, sneaking under the collar of her dress. Frozen on the spot, she blinked her eyes closed to keep it from entering her eyes and opened her mouth to blow it out. Her hand was squeezing the handle so hard, she heard a little crack in the bindings of the metal.

Once the shock of it had passed, she uncurled her fingers from around the handle and used her gloved hands to wipe the ooze off her face, shaking her hands to release the matter, which ended up on the floor with a sickening plop. Finally able to open her eyes, she looked at the thing, taken aback by its vile color and immediately identified it as a Weasley's product. They should reinforce the ban on those immediately. Drat. Muttering foul word after foul word, as she attempted to clean whatever she could out of her face, she stopped, lips pursed and eyes squinted as she remembered there had been a suspicious individual in the hallway.

Of course, she smirked. They ought to remain and see what their activities had brought about, no? Turning on the spot, as stiff as a wooden board, she pulled her wand in her hand and crossed the Potions classroom unnaturally fast. When she was in the hallway, her back straightened and her eyes sparking with anger -well, eye, since the other was closed for protection against the ooze dripping off her forehead - she locked eyes with the pest and let out a long breath, nostrils flaring. "You" she said accusingly, with an edge of murder in her voice.

1.	Courtesy of Libertine Ltd.

Linus held Francis to his chest, and turned slowly to face Di Luca. Covered in pink goo.

At first, he laughed.

It wasn't his brightest decision. One could safely and confidently declare that it was a bad decision.
 
“You," Lucrazyia said with nothing less than ominous murder in her voice. Town criers would make sure the word was spread within the day. Bards would write songs about this incident for the years to come. Both would lament the untimely death of big-eared Linus Barnaby Hughes.

So he screamed a blood curdling scream. He screamed as if someone was about to use one of the unforgivable curses on him. He screamed as if it would be the last scream he ever screamed. He booked it, running as fast as he could. He passed a fourth year; pointing at him, Linus shrieked, “REMEMBER ME, NEVER FORGET.”

The little lion didn’t run for long….

The laugh caused a slight twitch at the corner of her lips, yet her gaze remained unblinkingly lethal for all of a few seconds, because her ears were soon viciously attacked by the sound of a dying whale. Her head pulled back a bit and she winced, grimacing irksomely until the ninny had the outstandingly ill-advised idea of running. Her lips pursed tightly while her eyebrows raised, seemingly intent on taking a trip to the stratosphere as she tilted her head and, quite frankly, blinked something dim and dog-like at Hughes' distancing back.

It was only when his dying whale voice picked up where it had previously left off, to dramatically wail about his entirely tragic ordeal and for a moment Lucrezia was drawn back into her mind, imagining some pompous arse dressed in a toga spouting nonsense about cowards dying many times before their deaths, but she was quickly pulling back with a scowl. And it was with just the barest swish of her wand that a tripping jinx had been cast at the imbecile, quickly followed by a full body-bind. Seeing as her attacker had been restrained, she let out a long sigh, wiped some more goo from her forehead and sashayed, seemingly calm but bored, towards him. Passing the fourth year that was still confused but wary, she waved her hand absently at him and instructed he run along. If a hint of demented delight had sneaked in what she had hoped to be a reassuring smile... Well.

Reaching the crumpled body of the dolt, she stopped close enough that the tip of her boot -her pink gooed boot, and if anything were tragic, it was a Libertine outfit covered in pink goo - barely reached his feet and crossed her arms menacingly, standing imposing over him. One of her eyebrows arched lazily and she flicked her wand to release the curse. "Mr. Hughes, what a surprise" she said obviously sarcastic, trying for her best I-will-murder-you-in-your-sleep smile, to then squint her eyes at him, smile wiped off in favor of a nasty tightening of her lips.

Her smile returned in full force after just a minute and she fluttered her eyelashes again. "I sincerely do not know what will give me more pleasure—your constant presence in my detentions until the rest of the year and possibly the next year, as well. The first semester, surely" she added, deep concentration etched in her features, but just momentarily. "Or the reaction of your housemates when they will realize who is to blame for the missing thirty points from Gryffindor" she hummed almost musingly, smile growing into a smirk. "And so close to the end of the year, as well... Tut tut."

He faceplanted into the ground, and that was quickly followed by a full-body bind. His arms were plastered to his sides. He wondered why the tripping jinx was even necessary, because people who were under the effects of the body bind curse fell over anyway! It felt like overkill. It was almost like Professor Di Luca wanted to see him flail as he fell.

What a sadist. What a cruel, cruel person. What was the headmistress thinking when she hired her?

No.

Linus guessed that Storm must have hired her. No one else would be as evil.

He laid there helpless, jaw clenched together and unable to speak. Thirty points taken from Gryffindor? That was an awful lot… But he felt like it was worth it. Even if he had a whole year’s worth of detentions. 

Lucrezia felt the stooge wasn't looking notably remorseful for his actions. She squinted her eyes at him and raised an expectant eyebrow. "Explain yourself, Hughes" she said steadily after a while, voice ominously low and slow. "Any particular reason for this... incident? Or should I put it to a momentary lapse in judgement caused by the approaching finals?" The tone of her voice said that regardless of what might've been his motive or expected outcome he should just nod and look as contrite as he could muster.

"Otherwise I might be forced to notify your parents, Mr. Hughes" she said, casually shaking some goo off her gloved hand, some drops ending on the little dunderhead's clothes. Oops. "Behavioral problems have to be addressed more seriously, after all" she continued airily, finally turning her eyes back to Hughes, blinking once slowly. Truth be told she'd expected something of this sort to happen a lot sooner. She was simply surprised that it had been Hughes. She honestly didn't think him brave enough for it. Stupid, sure, but this stupidly brave? Gryffindors; she scowled.

"Or perhaps I should ask for Professor Storm's input? No?" she smirked minutely and blinked slowly again, eyebrows raised high in question and lips a tight pucker. If her own take on the situation didn't scare the guilt into him, perhaps her esteemed colleague's would.