“It’s okay.” Zel said, “But if you really kissed Josh Harcroft that would be okay too. He’s a nice guy. A good person. I’d be happy for you if you did.” But she didn’t. Not really. “I just. I want you to be happy because I still care about you, y’know?” He wrapped an arm around her and squeezed back, dropping it afterwards.  “I’m… Glad you still want to be friends.” To be honest, he didn’t expect that. Zel had completely expected Winifred to hate him forever. He had been fully prepared to avoid her for the rest of his life.

“And. I guess it’s normal to want to hurt someone after they hurt you.” Zel shrugged, and he wasn’t completely sure he didn’t deserve it. April Fool’s Day. What was he thinking? To be fair, he probably wasn’t worried about the date when he was thinking about breaking up with her.

Wait, what did she say about Josh and becoming a cat?

“Josh can turn into a tabby?!” Zel exclaimed, immediately jealous. If only he was a were-tabby. “I mean, is he a registered animagus? What?!” 

"I'm trying to be happy," she said to Zel. "But I'm not interested in dating anyone else right now." No matter what Zel said, she still had a smidge of hope maybe if they kept on hanging out that he would change his mind and want to get back together with her. Winifred couldn't help but have hope. Zel was her first real boyfriend. Everyone knew your first real boyfriend was someone you never gave up hope on until you managed to somehow find a second boyfriend.

But the conversation seemed to shift when she mentioned Josh as a Tabby. "I don't know, I didn't ask if he was registered. I was out by the lake working on homework- and being grumpy- and this cute little cat came up to me. And it rubbed against me and I just picked it up and snuggled it. You know how much I love cats!"

"Well, when I sat the cat down it turned into Harcroft. I was so EMBARRASSED. I had smooched him right on the furry nose and had... Well... You know. Hugged him..." Winnie looked down at her chest, and gestured awkwardly at it, "awfully close to me. But I didn't ask him anything else about him being an animagus."

"But you know, he's super rigid about rules and stuff. So he's probably registered. I mean, he's nice, and he's been really helpful with my magic stuff and gave me a lot of good advice. So animagus stuff wasn't something I was thinking to talk to him about after the initial shock wore off."

“Okay.” Maybe it would be good for her to be single for a while. Who knows? Maybe while she wasn’t looking, she’d find someone who was good for her. That’s how those things usually worked out, right? Zel wasn’t sure, but he hoped so.

When Winnie told her story about cat-Josh, Zel couldn’t help but to feel, well… Disturbed. Weirded out? Uncomfortable? Okay, the latter was not an unusual state of being for him, but the other two weren’t always there. “Wait… So Josh saw you….” He hesitated, “Correct me if I’m wrong. But Josh saw you—and his first instinct was to rub himself on you?” For some reason, all Zel could imagine was human-Josh going up to Winnie and rubbing up against her legs like a cat.
What a weirdo.

“I… Guess he’s good at pretending to be a cat?” He didn’t really have much to say about that, but he would never see Harcroft the same way again.

Winnie nodded. "Yeah, I guess... I guess that's how it happened? I don't know. Maybe when you're an animagus, and in your animal form, you get animal instincts?" she suggested. "Cats rub on people all of the time. But when you say it like that, it kind of makes him sound creepy. I don't think he was being creepy. Not on purpose."

"He was actually very helpful," Winnie told Zel. "He talked to me about a lot of stuff and class and school and stuff and it just made me feel better about things. He even gave me some really good advice about how to handle the break up." Hopefully that wouldn't bother Zel. "He's a nice person. I really hope he gets to be head boy next year. He's always been really nice to me and super helpful, and I think he deserves it. I think he's got a lot of great traits for being Head Boy. But I guess we'll see. I told him I'd vote for him if it worked that way."

Winifred leaned against Zel again, nudging him gently. "I'm not mad at you anymore," she said. "Not really. And I'm glad that you still want to be my friend, even after I acted really mean about things and got a little crazy and clingy. I just didn't really understand at first." She still didn't understand, but Winnie had a feeling she never would.

"I hope that things are okay with you, though," she said. "You know, that they have been and they continue to be. I know you worry a lot and it's hard to be a prefect and be a werewolf and all that other stuff you do. I just... you know. I hope you're okay." Even if she did want him to be miserable and miss her so much it hurt, she did want him to be okay, too. "Are you? Okay I mean?"

He wasn’t bothered in the slightest that Winifred got advice from Josh. Apparently, his advice had helped her, and he was glad for that. The only thing that bothered Zel was he was still fixated on the thought of Josh as a cat being creepy and weird. He could never see the Gryffindor prefect the same way again. Did he have to worry about any strange cats walking around campus now? Plenty of them had rubbed up against his legs before… And he had cuddled with most of them!  Zel had a tendency to claim everybody else’s feline companion as his own.

What if he had accidentally snuggled Harcroft?! Zel didn’t want to be the Catcroft Cuddler!

  “It’s okay that you didn’t understand.” Zel replied. He didn’t expect it out of her.

But was he okay? Zel pressed his forehead against his knees and sighed. He didn’t very well want to lie to her, but there was plenty of things going on. His stepfather and mum divorcing, stepfather kicking out his non-biological kids…  He had every intention of talking to his case worker about it after the full moon.

Zel tilted his head so that his cheek was being squished sligfhtly by his knee, but he was looking directly at the younger Hufflepuff. “I’ll be okay.” He responded, his smile both soft and sad.  "And you... Are you okay? Are we okay?"

Winifred watched him put his forehead against his knees, heard his sigh. He looked... pained. And it broke Winnie's heart. She wanted to help Zel. But she couldn't , when he wouldn't talk to her. And he didn't tell her anything. I'll be okay, he said. Which indicated that he wasn't okay now. Winnie reached out and gave his hand a squeeze. "If you're ever not okay and you want to talk, you can talk to me. But I'm glad that you think you're going to be alright."

Then he asked if she was okay. If they were okay. Winnie managed to bite her tongue- a smart ass response tried to slip out. She wanted to point out that they weren't a we any longer. Instead she shrugged.

"I am okay, yeah. I mean, I'm worried. Exams are coming up and I'm afraid of failing everything. I mean I've been working hard- but what if it's not enough, you know? And what if I just go blank and muck up exams after working so hard just because of nerves? It's hard to think about. And fifth year is coming up, and a big part of me is convinced that I'll never be able to get past fifth year, that I won't get into enough NEWT classes to stay at Hogwarts."

"And, you know, I've been trying to learn more about being a seer. I have nightmares a lot," Winifred confided. "I don't know what to do about them, and I'm always afraid they're premonitions instead of just bad dreams. And that's scary."

She patted his hand again. "But me and you- we're fine. We're still friends. Since I know that you want to be. I'm still hurt. But I'll get over it." And maybe there would be other boys. But she didn't want to say that to Zel. She didn't want to hurt him now that she knew he didn't hate her. "I don't want to keep avoiding you. It's hard."

She was handling all of this… Weirdly well.

To be honest, Zel didn’t expect that. He assumed she must’ve gotten this technique from some sort of romance novel. He never read any of the novels that Winifred was into, but they did seem to help her. And she enjoyed them so that’s what really mattered. He was also quite relieved to hear that things were.. Okay with them for now. They were friends. Of course she was still hurt, he was her first boyfriend. She wasn’t his first girlfriend. At this rate, he was the dumper more than the dumpee.

“You’ll do great, Winnie.” Zel said, “You’re good at divination and muggle studies. You’re better at them than I am, that’s for sure. Things don’t always come naturally but you’re trying so I am sure you’ll be fine.” 

The staircase still hadn’t moved. How frustrating. Zel was hungry and he also kinda had to pee.

“I don’t want to avoid you either.” Besides, avoiding her was what got them in this situation in the first place. He sat in silence for a few moments. “Soooo.” He cleared his throat. “My mum and stepdad are divorcing.” Zel said as if it was casual small talk.

"Yeah, but two classes isn't really enough to keep on going to my NEWT years, is it?" Winnie asked. "Isn't there like a minimum number of classes you have to take? And it really limits my choices for future employment. Not that I have to worry about a job right now... But being bad at things makes it hard to find a job. My dad is a squib and he cant find a job because of it." Of course, laws were different now, but it just wasn't something in her father's future. "I don't want to be like that."

She was glad he didn't want to avoid her (anymore). It made things less stressful. And after having talked to Zel, Winifred could already feel her frustration and hurt subsiding. It was good to know it wasn't because something was wrong with her- it was because something was wrong with him. And as awful as it was, that was a comfort to her.

He mentioned his mother and stepfather were divorcing- and Winifred felt her insides clapping for joy that he was opening up to her about something. But she didn't show it. That would be rude. But it occurred to Winifred she had never really talked to Zel much about his family- and she had no idea if this was a good thing or a bad thing. "I'm... I'm sorry Zel," she said. "I know that must be hard on you, especially with you so far away.

"Did you.. did you like your step dad?" probably not the most appropriate question to ask, but Winnie never was one for tact. "I mean- is it something that you're sad about?"

Zel didn’t know if two classes was enough. Maybe it was? He hadn’t heard of anyone being kicked out for bad grades before. When people left it was usually because they dropped out, not that they were kicked out. He guessed that if someone was being a danger to the students and staff, they’d be expelled, but he felt like people worried about expulsion more than it was worth. Expulsions were few and far between, and the sorts of students who would get expelled left anyway.

“Eh.” He shrugged, “I liked Rhys well enough.” Liked being the key word. “I don’t really blame him. My mum was awful to him.” Zel cleared his throat, “And she’s in Azkaban, so…” He shrugged. “I’m not sad about the divorce, I just.” Zel frowned, “Rhys doesn’t want us around anymore. Me, Zora, Luke or Emeric. He’ll keep Nettie because she’s his and not just my mum’s.” It hurt him to think about the possibility of not seeing his baby sister until she was old enough to not remember him. He was already gone most of the year anyway, because of school.

“So…. We’re all going to be living with Garrett or Em. I think I’ll get a summer job, to help with expenses.”

Winifred listened to Zel, and it made her sad. Really sad. She just couldn't imagine that. She understood his step-father if his mom was in Azkaban... But kicking out a bunch of children? Separating siblings? That sounded cruel to Winnie. She was so lucky to have parents who got along so well and such a close knit family. Winnie just couldn't fathom what Zel was going through. All she knew was that it made her sad for him.

So she hugged him. A big hug, a tight one. Practically crushing the air out of him. "I... That's so awful. Especially about your sister. That's just... Godric, I can't even imagine, Zel. I don't even know what to say. I don't think there is anything to say." Another frown. No wonder he seemed so distracted. And here she had been, making it worse by being mean and clingy since they had broken up a month ago. Winifred felt a strange pang of guilt over it all.

"A summer job might be good. You should do something with the werewolf stuff at the ministry. You could really help there. If you have trouble finding something, let me know. My aunt and uncle have a wizard pub and sometimes they need help in the summer. You'd have to go by floo- but it might be fun. I can always ask. But you know that's up to you."

"I... I wish I could help make you feel better, Zel. That's got to be the worst. And maybe... Maybe he'd let you visit your sister if you asked nicely? You could always ask."

Zel tried to hug Winnie back but she was squeezing him so tight that he could barely breathe. His ribcage and the lungs underneath were being crushed. He let out a sputtering noise as the last of his oxygen escaped. Or rather, it was forced out by Winifred’s deadly, loving grip. Thankfully, she didn’t squeeze him for long and he was able to gasp for air soon afterwards. Trying to be polite, Zel attempted to make it seem like she hadn’t just hugged the breath out of him, and nodded as she spoke.

“I mean, I think I’ll see Nettie sometimes. It’s not the same as living there though.” Zel clarified, “I.. It’ll make any chance of us being close, go away. And Zora—Zora’s so upset. She keeps sending me all these letters. She’s going to be a first year after the summer, so I hope that helps..” He cleared his throat. “Y’know, having Hogwarts to focus on and all.” Besides, she’d be going with three of her older brothers next year. It would be easier for her to get used to things, or so Zelig hoped.

“I’ll definitely let you know if I have trouble finding something… I think I might end up working with Figaro at his mum’s shop.” He hoped it’d go well, Zel was always prepared for the worst by default.

"Hogwarts helps a lot. And you'll be around to help her out and be a good big brother. That's just... You know. It's sad, really. And I just wish I could help." Moments like this really made Winifred glad to have such a good family. Her parents were still in love and even if she got into a lot of fights with her big brothers, at least they weren't always mean and she knew they cared about her. (Her older brother Earnest- a fellow Hufflepuff in his sixth year- had even offered to hex Zel for Winifred after they broke up. And since Winnie still hated Zel, or well, had until this interaction, he'd even gone so far as to ignore Zel for Winifred's benefit. Zeke had done the same.)

She liked the sound of Zel working with Figaro. "I bet that would be fun! I like Fig. He's nice. I think you two would really enjoy that. And that would be good experience, working at an Apothecary. Because it's useful. Working at a pub doesn't teach you much you can use at school." Winifred was proof of that.

"I am sorry for you, that things are tough. But I think things will work out, Zel. And I'll always be your friend. And I'm sorry for being awful. I really am. But we can just put it all behind us now, can't we?" Winnie asked. "You know, go back to being friends and having fun together and not worry about the romance part or get hung up on the fact that we used to go out? I mean, so long as you don't get jealous if I date other boys or anything like that."

Plenty of his friends wanted to help, Winnie included. There honestly wasn’t much they could do that they weren’t already doing—listening, and just hanging out with him. That’s all Zel needed. Friends to be there when he wanted to talk, if he wanted to talk. People to get his mind off of things. And maybe, just maybe the occasional couch to sleep on when things got too crowded. He needed his friends to help him feel like he was normal.

To be fair, Zel had never felt normal, like he fit in. Not even before he got bitten. It was hard when you reached 6’0 tall by the time you were fifteen and then kept growing through the summer. On top of that he was albino with a giant family.  He hoped that at the very least, he had stopped growing.

“Yeah, I guess working at an apothecary is useful.” Zel agreed, though he didn’t think he was going to go into any job field in the future that had anything to do with potions ingredients and whatnot.

He chuckled, “No Winnie, I won’t get jealous if you see other boys.” Zel elbowed her playfully, “Of course not. Any guy would be lucky to date you.”