Winifred was on her way to the library. End of the year exams were coming up still and she just had SO MUCH to get done. So much studying. And practicing. And homework. And papers. And it was just... very overwhelming to think about it all. She had felt a little better after talking things out with Harcroft a couple of days earlier. It was strange to think he gave such good advice and that she felt like she could confide in him. But at least it had helped. And after exchanging a few letters with her uncle, Winnie had decided that maybe things would be okay.

The universe, however, apparently had different plans... Or a very different definition of what "okay" meant.

She had just climbed onto the staircase leading from the third floor to the fourth floor when it started swinging. She groaned. Winnie hated it when they changed position. Even after four years it always caught her off guard and made her feel nervous. Like she would plummet to the stone floor with one wrong move. So Winifred gripped the railing tight and closed her eyes.

The stairs came to a halt and she opened her eyes, ready to move on to the next platform but stopped dead in her tracks when she realized that the staircases hadn't quite connected... with anything. They were just floating, mid air, not moving. Bollocks! This was what she got for not using the main stairs as a way to avoid running into Zel. "Godric's Garters!" she grumped. "Of all days for the stairs to decide to be stupid." She stomped, then jumped a little (a very little), hoping it would get them to unstick. She punctuated each little hop. "I. Have. Studying. To. Do. You. Stupid. Stair. Case."

Zel was on his way from the library to the great hall for dinner, and lately he had been taking all these alternate routes in order to avoid none other, than Winifred Oliver. It wasn’t that Zel disliked Winnie in any way. In fact, he had liked her enough to be her boyfriend. However, ever since he broke up with her, things had been.. Awkward. He couldn’t even look at Lord Fluffybutt without feeling uncomfortable, and he was never uncomfortable around cats.
He stopped as soon as he saw Winnie, but turned around only to have the staircase oh-so-conveniently move.

And stop.

Without connecting to any floors.

They were literally, floating in midair, stuck on a staircase. Alone. Oh so very alone.

He gulped and turned around, face furiously red.  Zel cleared his throat and waved awkwardly, “Hey--”  Zel paused, he just could not bring himself to make eye contact with her. It wasn't difficult not to, she was too busy hopping. Maybe she wouldn't notice him standing there if he stood really still.

So that was exactly what Zel did. He stood very still, hand in mid-wave,  hoping Winifred would not notice.

She hadn't realized he was there initially. She was too busy freaking out about being stuck on the stairs. But... Well, after she was done hopping and had resigned herself to wasting away in Hogwarts on a broken stair case, and she started to look around and see if there was anyone to save her, she realized Zel was stuck on the staircase with her. His hand in the air. Standing very, very, very still.

Winifred wailed loudly, she couldn't help it. Stuck. Left for dead. With Zel. She stomped again and stared up at the cieling. "Great. Wonderful. Just absolutely perfect. What are you even doing here? Don't you have hearts to break? People to give detention to? Stuff to bump into with your forehead because you're freakishly tall? Lives to ruin? All those terrible things?"

It was mean. Cruel, even. But she was still mad at Zel. And upset. And even if it had been a month- a month today- she wasn't ready for this yet. Not when she had things to do. Not when she had zero control over the current situation. Winnie wanted to do this on her terms, not on the terms of the crazy castle.

Looks like standing still didn’t work. At least it worked longer than he expected it to. Zel would’ve given anything to own an invisibility cloak right about now.

Especially when she started screaming.

A portrait of a portly old man with green robes pointed and laughed at him. Zel hated it when portraits laughed at him, but not as much as he hated being stuck on a staircase while being screamed at by his ex-girlfiend. They hadn’t even been together that long, what did she have to even scream at him about?! He had broken up with her for valid reasons!

If it had been closer to the full moon, Zel may had lost his temper at the portrait (but not Winnie, he’d feel too bad if he did). But it wasn’t close to the full moon, so he put his hands in his pocket and waited for her to finish. “Sorry I broke your heart, but we're not getting back together." He said quietly. If Zel didn't want to be with her before, he certainly didn't want to date her again after she called him a freakishly tall life ruiner.

Winifred stared at him. Just stared. We're not getting back together... It hurt. For him to just say it like that. "I DIDN'T EVEN ASK YOU TO GET BACK TOGETHER!" Winifred screeched at him. "Why would you assume I would even want to get back together with you?" she asked. "You've been so mean to me!"

She crossed her arms, tossing her hair over her shoulder and huffing. "I mean, who breaks up with somebody on April Fool's Day?" she asked him. It had been plaguing her since it happened. And they hadn't really had a confrontation about it. Because Winifred hadn't realize at first that he had been serious. And it had been brewing now. For a month. "Do you know how foolish I felt?" Winnie asked. At least the volume of her voice was lowering.

But only because she was getting upset. She wanted to cry already.

"That would be just like you to assume that's all I'd care about. For your information, Zelig Trumble, I kissed Josh Harcroft just two days ago." .... He had been a cat at the time. And she hadn't known it was him. But Zel didn't need to know that. She just wanted to make him feel as bad as she did.

“Okay, okay! You didn’t ask me to get back together!” Zel replied, cowering ever so slightly. He peeked over the edge of the staircase, wondering if jumping off and onto another staircase was a viable option. Maybe if he used some charms…? No. Even with charms he’d probably miss and break his neck and die. And he couldn’t do that.

He walked down a few steps, closer to Winnie, and sat down, they would probably be here awhile.  At least they were the same height now, and he didn’t feel so bulky, big, and gangly. “I-I’m sorry.” Zel bit his lip, “It… It was bad timing, you’re right.” She had a point. Who, in their right mind, would break up with someone on April Fool’s day? Zel Trumble, apparently. 

At least, when she called him by name, she didn’t use his full name like his mother did when she was especially angry. Just his first and last. It didn’t even dawn on Zel that Winnie probably didn’t even know his middle name.

Although she said she kissed Josh Harcroft, her screaming (and almost crying? Was she going to cry? Zel wasn’t sure.) revealed to him that she had not moved on. "Really? Josh Harcroft?" Zel's voice cracked; he didn't even try to hide his surprise.

Winnie seemed to want Zel to think she moved on, so he played along. She probably did kiss Josh. Zel wasn't so sure that Josh kissed her back.  Or that they were sober if it happened. "Um. Okay then?" He hesitated, "I hope Josh... Makes you very happy."

He sat down. And his tone changed. It was... Well, Winnie didn't want to think about his feelings. They didn't matter. He wasn't the one who got dumped. And he didn't even seem to miss her or care that they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. How could he just not care? And why did she have to care so much? It wasn't fair!

When his voice cracked, a part of Winifred hoped it was because he was very hurt and betrayed and that he wanted to cry, too. But then he just... continued to act like he didn't care. That was what hurt the worst.

Winifred wanted to inform him she was very happy with Josh Harcroft. But she wasn't. Because they weren't a couple. And that kind of a lie would bite her in the arse. And Josh had been very nice to her and super helpful and told her not to do the exact thing she was doing right now. (Make herself look desperate.) She opened her mouth anyway, to say something, but no words came out. Instead she sank down, sprawling across the steps nearer the bottom part of the staircase and wailed again.

And then she started to cry. Because it was all bottled up. And Zel was just so mean. "You don't even care!" she sobbed. "You probably never even did! Uncle Archer told me boys would lead me on but I thought you were different."

It seemed like she wasn’t happy with Joshua Harcroft, judging by the sitting down and crying. Zel scootched down the steps on his butt until he was sitting next to Winnie. His knees were pressed up to his chest so that he wouldn’t be dangling them off of the edge of the staircase. He didn’t want to touch her, or hug her, just in case that would make her even more upset. Why would she want hugs from the person that was upsetting her.

“I do care. I care about you.” Zel replied, “And I care that you’re hurting right now.” He rested his chin on his knees,  “And I know it hurts now. But it’d hurt even more if I was in werewolf form and something happened to you or your family, or if something happened to me.” She couldn’t seem to handle him breaking up with her, how could she handle something much more serious?  “Being in a relationship with a werewolf, being close to a werewolf is risky. Being close to a werewolf is what got me bitten in the first place. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

He cleared his throat, "I-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry you think I led you on. I didn't mean to." He cleared his throat again, "D'you... Want a hug?"

Winifred because even more upset when he scooched close to her, and lowered his voice- telling her that he did care about her. Lies! All lies! "I don't understand! I don't understand why you suddenly started to care about all of that! You didn't think it was too dangerous when we went to the ball together! Or when you sent me cute presents for holidays!" It was hard to be mad and ask questions and cry at the same time. There still tears in her eyes, but the were already starting to dry up. "For like, four months, you didn't even care about that stuff."

"And I don't care that you're a werewolf! So what! You can't hurt me if you're responsible and safe and go to the ministry for the holding cells on the full moon and take your potion and all that stuff."

Winifred sat up when he asked if she wanted a hug. "Not particularly," she snapped at him. "Not from you."

"I think that's just an excuse! I don't think that's the real reason you broke up with me. I at least deserve your honesty! You don't suddenly decide you're too dangerous when you haven't been too dangerous before. Is there another woman?" Winifred asked. "Is it because I'm just a fourth year? Or because I'm not smart enough? Or not pretty enough? Or all of those things?" Winnie asked. "I bet it's all of them," she said with a frown.

“For four months, I was constantly worried about all that stuff!” Zel replied tensely, “I mean, I get so close to snapping at little things when the full moon is close. I’m tired and irritable afterwards. I was worried all the time. I’m still worried about it all the time.” He rubbed the back of his neck and began shaking one leg anxiously. He would give anything to be out of this situation, off of this staircase and… Somewhere else. “I got you gifts because I wanted to make you happy.”

He took a deep, shaky breath. “I know you don’t care about the danger, I know you don’t even think it’s a problem. But you’re not me. You don’t have to live with the responsibility of this curse. I grew up around it, I thought it was fine. Until it wasn’t.” Zel finally faced Winnie directly. “One missed dose of wolfsbane. That’s all it takes for me to lose my humanity. Not even just one missed dose—half of a dose missed. That’s all it takes for someone’s life to be ruined. You never know what could happen—even when all the precautions are taken, there’s still a chance. And I can’t take that chance on anybody.”

At least Winnie was talking enough to stop crying. But what she was saying was so wrong. “Merlin, Winnie. Have you even listened to a word I said? It’s not about whether you’re pretty enough, or smart enough. There’s not another woman. Stop putting yourself down like that. You don't deserve it." He closed his eyes and rested his chin on his knees, wrapping his arms around his legs.

 "I don’t think that you can handle it if things get messy. I don’t think I could handle it if things got messy. I’m not going to put that on you.”

"You never told me you were worried," Winnie said. He had been her first boyfriend. But Winifred had spent a lot of her time reading romance novels and teen magazines and witch weekly and- enough to have very clear ideas of what she thought a relationship was supposed to be like. "You have to talk to people, Zel. You can't just... keep all your nervousness all balled up inside. It's bad for you! And I know that full moon makes you grumpy and tired. I never complained about it."

He did have a point. That she didn't have to live with it. That she wasn't worried. Winnie frowned. "But... I mean, you can't go your whole life and not have friends or girlfriends or never ever get married because you're worried about what might happen. That's no way to live your life!" she exclaimed. "It will make you miserable!"

"I know... that it's dangerous. And I know that you think that just because I'm fifteen and just a fourth year that I can't understand how serious it is. That's what everyone thinks! I know I'm happy and optimistic and I know that I'm kind of stupid. I know that I can't ever understand how you feel because I'm not a werewolf. But..."

She sighed, frowned. "You didn't even give me a chance to handle messy! Or help you handle it." God. This conversation was just like a conversation in one of her novels. She had a lot of novels about werewolves and this had happened in them.

"You... You aren't some kind of beast, Zel. You're not. You're smart and nice and generous and thoughtful and helpful and kind and genuine and all of these really good, wonderful things. That is who you are. You aren't the curse. You aren't defined by that. Just like my dad isn't defined by the fact he's a squib. And people aren't defined by their blood status... You're just, you're so much more than a werewolf. And those are all the things I like about you."

"I just... You could have talked to me, Zel," she said quietly, still sniffling. "You could have just had a conversation with me about it. That's what couples are supposed to do, is have conversations. And not even just couples. But friends. Friends talk about stuff. We were friends first. You should be able to talk to your friends about that kind of stuff. I talk to my friends about all of my problems. It always makes me feel better."

“I could’ve communicated better. I could’ve told you about my worries. But I don’t want to burden anyone. I know there’s people who would share the load with me, but…” But Zel didn’t want to share it with anyone. He wanted to handle it by himself. It was less complicated when there was no one else involved. He had already shared too much with Figaro, Sophie, and Winnie. He didn’t want to share more.  There was only so much he could express without it feeling like too much.

He realized, the only person he wanted to share everything with was his sister. Or any other werewolf. They’d understand, in a way that non-werewolves never could.

“Winnie. I need to worry about what might happen.” Zel said steadily, “It doesn’t matter if it makes my life miserable. I’d be more miserable if I attacked someone.” He cleared his throat. “The job market for werewolves is impossible. Whoever I end up with, would end up in poverty with me. Me being a parent? I don’t want to subject a child to that. I don’t want children, ever. “ As much as Zel loved kids, he wasn’t going to put that on them.  He saw how hard it was on his little siblings—just having a sibling who was a werewolf. Hell, it had been hard on him. He imagined it’d be much worse if your parent was a werewolf.

“I know that there’s more to me than being a werewolf. I know that. But to ignore that part of myself is risky. That’s how people get bitten. I’m a good person now,  but there are times when I, literally, cannot be a  person. I could've talked to you. I could've talked to Figaro. But I didn't want to.” 

Winifred let Zel talk instead of interrupting him. She knew that he needed to. And Winnie knew she needed to listen. Winifred just couldn't grasp the feeling of not wanting to burden other people. Her family was very close knit and always relied on each other. And her close friends- like Cy, Ambrose, and Juni- were people talked to about everything. It was just the way that she was. But Zel didn't seem to function the same way. She couldn't understand why.

"I... I'm still hurt," Winnie told him. "I've never been broken up with before. I don't understand why you think you're so dangerous. I still really, really, really like you. I can't just stop liking you because you want to break up," Winnie told him. "And... And it's hard. But Harcroft and my Uncle Archer told me that this kind of stuff just happens at my age. But it doesn't make it easier."

"But, you know, we get along. You're a lot of fun. And... well... I miss hanging out with you and talking. I know everyone says this kind of stuff when they break up, but I really want us to stay friends. Because you're my prefect. And you might be again next year, or even the Head Boy, you never know. And I really don't want to have to avoid the common room and stuff because I'm scared of running into you."

"And, you know, even if we're just friends you can still talk to me about stuff. It might make you feel a little bit better. I... I don't hate you or anything. But I wish you had told me all of this when you broke up with me, instead of like, not telling me anything. I wouldn't have been nearly so depressed all month."

Winnie Moved on the stairs and sat next to him. She draped one arm around his hunched shoulders and squeezed him tight. "I know that I can't understand. But I can always try."

He was surprised that she let him talk. Usually, it was her who did all the talking and him who did all the listening. Not that Zel particularly minded; in the past, he hadn’t been much of a talker. He tended to keep his thoughts to himself—unsure of whether what he had to say, needed tobe said. Or if it needed to be said, if the timing was appropriate. With Figaro, he was getting more comfortable with talking.  They often just hung out and chatted. Fig was among the first people that Zel went to when he needed to vent.

“I like you too.” Zel responded, “And… I would like to still be friends.” He had also been growing tired of trying to avoid Winifred. He wasn’t sure this chat would make things less awkward—awkward was like a default setting for him. “But I don’t think we can be more.” He sounded almost sad—he didn’t want to be breaking her heart like this, but he genuinely didn’t think it was safe for them to be together.

Zel didn’t hug her back, but he rested his head against her’s, accepting the hug in his own way. “Sorry I didn’t, y’know. Talk about it.” He wasn’t sure he could promise that he would talk about this sort of thing—but he’d certainly make more of an effort.

Winifred felt a pang when he said they couldn't be more. Whatever he was going through had to be hard. Winnie knew that. As self absorbed as she was, she didn't want to make Zel feel bad about the decision he had made. And Josh and Archer were right- there were other boys. There would be, anyway. And she didn't want Zel to stay her boyfriend if he didn't want to be her boyfriend. The last thing Winnie wanted was a boyfriend who didn't even like her!

"It's... okay I guess," Winnie said quietly. She gave him another squeeze. "I can't understand how you feel. I wish I did, though. I'm still sad. But I'll be okay. Because I really do want us to stay friends. And if we can't be more than that, that's okay."

She frowned a little, and pulled away from him. "And when I kissed Josh Harcroft I didn't know it was Josh. He was a cat at the time. I thought he was just a regular tabby cat when I snatched him up. I'm sorry I said that like I did- I was trying to hurt your feelings, and that was really mean of me. I shouldn't have done that. It was awful of me."