After Midnight

The night had stolen the day in a way that only a dark stormy horizon could, and when the heavy rains started to fall Gale knew that it would be one that would welcome the coming Spring. Already the evenings were warmer than before, and the days starting to blossom again. He had taken refuge after dinner to his office, working on a few grades while drinking his tea. In the past few months everything had been a whirlwind, and like the one that howled outside he felt that maybe finally things were coming together. His house had been his now for a while and more and more it came together. He was starting to see a big turn around in his students, and they were starting to respect him more. His teaching habits had hardened up, but most of all so did his backbone. He didn't let anything get by him anymore, and though he wasn't as open about it as before he still tried his best to please as many people as he could. However, ever since he and his lover called it quits Gale was more recluse than ever, and spent a great deal of time in his office tending to his strangely...not broken heart.

Tonight he indulged it, reading a cheesy romance novel about a woman and her werewolf lover. Tomorrow he would regret the late hours he was keeping, but for now his cozy couch, warm fire, and the cheesy romance novel made this transition easier. He had taken a long shower, buffed his skin, braided his hair--pampered, and the only thing left was a box of chocolates but those were hidden under his bed for really special occasions.


"Oh." He cooed at the book, and turned to the next page. Having always had a weak spot in his heart for troubled souls and women who wouldn't let any man bring them down. The book had captured him from the very beginning, he really enjoyed the main character Gwen who wasn't the prettiest of women, nor the smallest--but she was still able to capture the heart of a Beast. It was his secret pleasure, reading trashy romance novels and fawning over the main characters as though they were real. He wondered if the author wasn't a wizard herself as she wrote with such passion he doubted any Muggle could understand. Truly, it was something amazing, and though he knew he would never live it down if he was caught reading such text Gale normally cast charms on the door to keep out unwanted eyes. Tonight, however, he had forgotten to set such wards, and hadn't even bothered with the lock. He took to his sofa under the robe he had been given during Christmas and kept his glasses perched on the end of his nose so that he wouldn't have to keep pushing them back as he read.

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1.	― Teresa Medeiros, The Bride and the Beast: a really great book that I highly recommend OOC. Plus the author is so down to earth I am totally going to tweet this. <3

With a loud crack of the lightning and what sounded like the wind rattling the old windows in his room, Lucas sat straight up out of bed with a gasp. His eyes were wide and, despite the cold, his sweat drenched hair clung to his face. He sat there a few moments breathing hard and looking around to gain his bearings. That's right. He was at school. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, making it more unruly than normal.

He turned and sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. It was only a dream, right? Yes. Only a dream. A dream that left him trembling and fighting tears. He had thought he had gotten to a point where the nightmares had stopped. It had been almost a month since he'd had one. Apparently, he was wrong. This one had come at full force. He looked out the window at the rain beating on the pane and rubbed his arms as his lip trembled. He bit it to keep himself under control.

The boy looked at his pillow and thought about trying to go back to sleep. The dream seemed to still be haunting him though. Even closing his eyes he could still see it. He could still see her face. A freezing cold chill ran up his spine making his entire body quiver. There was no way he was going to be able to go to sleep. He stood up, slid on his slippers, and pulled his robe on, rubbing his arms again. He went to the restroom and splashed some water on his face and stood there looking in the mirror. Only a dream.

When he finally turned from the mirror, he felt as though he had been standing there for an eternity. Perhaps longer. He felt that staring at the mirror would convince his mind that he was still at school and it was only a dream. It seemed to help a bit. When he closed his eyes, the image of her face was more distant. It was still there, but now it was a little blurry. He took another deep breath and after another splash of water, he left the restroom.

Going back to his room didn't seem like something he really wanted to do at that moment. He still kept his arms around himself and was still fighting the sting in his eyes. He knew he couldn't just wonder the halls. A prefect or professor or someone was bound to find him and send him to bed. Professor.

Instead of going on to his room, he decided to turn and go to his charms professor's room. He was safe there. Safe from the nightmares. Safe from anything really. He approached the door, hoping the professor was still awake. It was late. It looked like there was light under the door though. If the fire was roaring the way he usually had it, Lucas would be entering a world that had the comfort he craved at the moment. Maybe he would ask for some tea to warm his bones. He tapped on the door lightly with his knuckles and opened the door a bit.

"Um... Professor Kesali?" he said, voice still slightly trembling. "A... are you still up?"

The knock made him jump out of his skin, and he quickly stashed the book into the sofa so it wouldn't be discovered. He'd been caught! Reading trashy romance novel! Hell, that was as bad as being caught with something illegal and something unspeakable. He would never get to live it down if that came out. Scrambling a moment he covered it with a pillow while trying to rescue his teacup that was also flying about now somewhere.

"Lucas," He finally answered after getting himself together and the table back to a normal array of random things, but one look to the young one's face made his whole mood sober and his heart calm. Lucas looked horrible and pale (more so than normal) and Gale was quick to rise to collect him. Worriedly he checked his head seeing how his skin had a shimmer to it and his eyes looked weak. He was shaking and that made his heart nearly fall form his chest, while his hands went to steady his shoulders.

"My darling...what has happened? What is wrong? Are you unwell? Come," With one arm around his small little shoulders he lead him to the sofa where a warm blanket was waiting for him, and a cup of tea would be poured.

"Lucas...you are scaring me, what's a matter?" He handed the boy the tea, from his position on the edge of the couch but refused to look away as if at any moment Lucas would fade into nothing and he would never see the poor soul again. With both eyes uncovered it was strange to see the way the blind one still moved as though it could see, and sometimes it felt as though the pale orb was simply just looking through you as though it could see into your soul, The concern however was very deep in both, he wanted nothing to ever happened to this boy that would make him unhappy.

The moment the professor put his arm around his shoulders, Lucas knew everything would be okay. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the man and let the man guide him to the couch. Once sitting, he opened his eyes and gazed into the fire. He was right.

The fire was certainly roaring and it felt amazing on his face. He curled up under the blanket, pulling it up to his chin and closed his eyes again to enjoy the fire. The warmth was growing, first consuming his face and then his entire body warming. As his body warmed, the horrid images from the dream seemed to start melting away as well. He only opened his eyes when the professor offered him the tea. He held it in both is hands and pulled it to his face, letting the steam caress it. He sipped the tea and started to completely relax.

"I... I had another dream. It was... worse than normal," he said into the cup. He looked up at the man. Most people were put off by the man's eyes, but Lucas had learned to find comfort in them. They couldn't lie. Not to him at least. And they never judged. He was safe. "Ma. They told her she could leave. That she was free to go and could come home..." His eyes moved from Kesali's face back to the fire. "but as soon as she stepped out... the dementors... they..." His hands started to shake. "The guards just laughed. They were snickering... said she deserved it... since... child neglect..." Tears started to stream down his face and he bit his lip again. "Her face... it... it..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. He put the tea down from fear of dropping it and pulled the cover tight around him. he leaned over against Kesali's shoulder and wept. He had been doing so well coping with it and dealing with things. He really thought the nightmares had stopped. He couldn't talk to his ma, Rhys had stopped writing, Emeric was too concerned about sports, and Zel had his own issues. He had his friends, but none of them truly understood it all. Kesali was his only connection to the life he use to have and he didn't want to lose that moment.

Gale listened to Lucas as much as he could, knowing that there wasn't much he could say right now that could take away this pain, but just how rattled boy the was made his heart break all over. It was so hard watching one of his students suffer, as much as he pretended to not care anymore Gale always would. He loved them all so dearly, but this was just such a heartfelt suffering that brought tears to his own eyes.

"Oh my darling boy…" He let Lucas finish his story, but most of all when the boy couldn't go on he just let him cry. Gale ran the tips of his fingers over Lucas' pale hair, while tightening his hold and finally resting his cheek to the boy's crown, "I am so sorry this is happening to you." His voice was a whisper though warm and trying it's best to sound comforting, "If I could take it all away I would." However, Zel's words entered his head, finding that cold cord to his heart and sticking it. Was this even his place? Did he even care? How could he just refuse Lucas now? But something had to give. He needed help, and more than Gale could offer.

"Your nightmares worry me, little one," He sat back enough so that he could wipe away the tears and look him in the eyes, "They are only getting worse, and sometimes are never to be taken lightly." He touched the boy's cheek with the back of his fingers and tried his best to smile, "And I do not mean that they are true or visions, but you have a lot of pent up guilt and hurt. It might be time we look into getting you some way to help cope with all of this. Not that I do not mind being here for you, you know that I would die for you as well any of my students, but I think I have let this go on long enough. Of anyone out there that can understand how nightmares can affect you, it's me. And I promise you that it will get better," He hugged him tight again, "It gets so much better."

Not wanting to let him go, Gale held him out one more time, "Does Zel know about how you feel?"

"And I do not mean that they are true or visions, but you have a lot of pent up guilt and hurt. It might be time we look into getting you some way to help cope with all of this. Not that I do not mind being here for you, you know that I would die for you as well any of my students, but I think I have let this go on long enough. Of anyone out there that can understand how nightmares can affect you, it's me. And I promise you that it will get better,"

"I know it will get better. I thought it had. I haven't had a dream in almost a month. I don't think they're visions or anything like that. I don't get visions. I never have before at least. They're just dreams. I know that, but they're so vivid sometimes. It's like I'm right there or she's right here. It's so bad sometimes I can almost feel it all. Like a real, physical touch. I just dream very detailed and clearly."

He closed his eyes and seemed to bury his head into the professor when he was hugged tight. Sometimes that was all he needed. A hug. A hug from someone he trusted and who cared about him. Just that small of a reaction let him know he wasn't completely alone and that there was really someone who understood him.

"Does Zel know about how you feel?"

The boy shook his head. He hadn't told his brother about any of it and the couple times he tried to, Zel would just tell him not to worry and that things would work out and they would be fine. He didn't really think his brother understood. He was older and dealt with things differently.

"I can't really talk to him about it. He doesn't understand. Plus... Zel has other things to worry about. He has his girlfriend[1] and all his school work. He's working on his NEWTS. Plus it'll just make him worry about me more. I'm afraid... if I become a burden... he'll want to quit and take care of us. He doesn't need to do that. Ma always told us how important it was to finish school so we could do great things. Especially since Zel is a werewolf. If he doesn't finish then it'll be really hard for him to do anything at all. I don't want that to happen just because I have some nightmares or because things are hard. He doesn't need more things to worry about."

He gripped the blanket again and a couple more tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. He felt like he would never understand anything. That the nightmares would never stop and he would be stuck like this the rest of his life. If he could just find a way to make the nightmares stop be could maybe start to feel normal again.

1.	An 11 year old suspicion with a girl hangs around a boy

"I know it will get better. I thought it had. I haven't had a dream in almost a month. I don't think they're visions or anything like that. I don't get visions. I never have before at least. They're just dreams. I know that, but they're so vivid sometimes. It's like I'm right there or she's right here. It's so bad sometimes I can almost feel it all. Like a real, physical touch. I just dream very detailed and clearly."

"I know…I thought it had too, Sweetie. I try not to hover, but I keep my tabs on you. But from my own experience there are little things that you don't even realize can trigger it. Sometimes when you are all gathered together in the dining hall I dream that night of the fire there. Sometimes they are so vivid that I swear I smell smoke when I wake, and it takes me a few moments to come back from them." The entire time he spoke Gale brushed Lucas' hair back from his brow, wondering if he was ready for a haircut but figured it wasn't time to ask.

When Lucas started in on his bit about why he couldn't talk to Zel, Gale tried to fight a smile about the whole girlfriend thing. That Zelig Trumble…did have an entertaining social life and Gale thought he wasn't even aware of it. But as Lucas went on Gale shook his head and squeezed his shoulder,

"Stop." He tightened the blanket around the boy, creating a cocoon just as he remembered his family doing to him, though his dad did it to get him to stop throwing a tantrum, Gale did it to make Lucas listen, "Zel won't quit. I won't let him. I'll tie him up and force him to finish his classes. Don't worry about that alright? But what I do want you to do is to tell him. He is your family, and I think he would be hurt to know you didn't feel comfortable enough to go to him. In the meantime…I know why you won't talk to Maiko, but Lucas I want you to start talking to someone. I want you to get some professional help, because I understand what you are going through and I did the same thing…thinking I could just tough it out. The faster you get it under control, the faster you can return to your normal life." He let go of Lucas and continued, "Things will get better again. I promise."

Lucas made himself comfortable against the professor when he was cocooned. He closed his eyes tight and just laid there. He missed his mother consoling him like this. Her wrapping him up and just holding him until he was fine again. Tears came to his eyes again thinking of her not doing that to him ever again. Rhys certainly wouldn't. He had stopped writing all together hadn't he? Zel hadn't mentioned anything about him at all.

In the meantime…I know why you won't talk to Maiko, but Lucas I want you to start talking to someone.

"But I talk to you, Professor. I tell you everything. I tell you about how I feel with things at home and things with my friends. You help me and give me advice and I always feel better when I leave here. I don't want to talk to anyone else. They won't understand me like you do. I've already lost everyone else because of all this stuff. Don't ask me to stop coming here too. Please."

They young boy started to sob again. It wasn't long ago he started to see Gale was the closest thing he would ever have to a parent again. He didn't want to lose this too. He put his hand on the professors arm and squeezed it as if to hold him there.

"Please don't ask that."

 

"Oh honey no," He regretted the words already and threw out every caution when Lucas started crying again, he wrapped him up in his arms and held him there, "No I don't mean that. Not at all." Gale couldn't help the way his own eyes teared up, or how his bottom lip quivered at how much he tried to hold it together for Lucas; but he just felt so bad for the boy.

"You do talk to me, and I don't mean that I don't want  you to. I just worry that I'm not enough. I will go with you. I will sit right there and go with you," His jaw clenched as he thought about that woman, and though he could never admit this to Lucas he hated her. How dare she be so stupid and leave them like this. Why have children if you didn't intend to take care of them.

"Lucas, I'm not going anywhere, and I'll curse any one who tries to tell you otherwise. But damn it, I just want you to have a normal childhood alright? I want you to be better and to be happy." He took a glance over to the desk where his returned letters waited, and where his half written one to the Ministry waited. He has been writing back and forth as to what he should do, and knowing he needed to bring it to Minerva's attention. What would happen if no one was there to get them from the train?

"And talking to a counselor will help…it helps me." He pressed his cheek atop the boy's crown and closed his eyes a moment, "I can't allow you to keep suffering like this. We have to heal ok? Things will get better I promise."