Phillip,

• 
  
  You’re an idiot, stop worrying Alex, I do not need two moping brats under my roof. Have fun growing back your legs and be sure to bring them with you – intact – this summer; your substitute is crap.
  
  
  The crutches were CC’s idea. She says hi.
  
  
  
  
  • Sincerely,
            Rick

Sir Broody McBrooderson,

I appreciate ye taking time out of yer obviously very busy schedule to write to yer humble servant. I am but an idiot, but I do not see how me being bang out of order by an accident was me fault. I do not know what you could possibly mean by moping. I am not mopey, if anything, I'm having a mard over here!

It's bobbins, is wha it is. I'm going off me trolleys! I haven't had a snout in four days and while some o'these potions sure are proper top, I'm gagging for some booze. Nish. And I had a flappy day, the healer keeps mithering me while she fettles me legs and I look like the wreck o' Thesperus.

Of course my substitute is shite, probably a payseg too. There is only ONE dead awesome shop help, and that's me. And... err... Dunno 'bout summer mate. I'll 'ave to start looking for a potions Master to get me apprenticeship started. But I'll come back 'till I get meself on me feet. How's tha' for loyalty, arr?

CC, most gracious CC, I won't be able to walk for at least two weeks, but while disturbing, I appreciate yer, errr... thoughtful gift.

P.S.: I miss Runt.
P.P.S.: Sorry for the late reply, I was in a coma, as people are.

            Yours faithfully,
                      Phillip the Disabled Lad

You actual moron,

• 
  
  Don’t be stupid, of course you can come back ‘til you’re ready. Paying you beats paying someone more competent better wages. and this one cries when I 
  
  Ignore that.
  
  
  CC says you’re welcome. She doesn’t know that the muffins she wanted me to give you never survived the trip.
  
  
  
  
  • If you call me that again I will break both your legs myself,
            Rick

Lord Grumps-A-Lot,

Awe, mate, ye lurve me <3. And that's shite, there ain't no one more competent than me scally arse. Also, Rick, mate, dunno what wupding ye got there skriking, but ye need to keep in mind tha' not everyone can take yer particular charm, ye scowler. They dun make 'em like me and Harpy at every corner, aye?

I'm telling yer sorry arse to CC, I demand me muffins. Actually wait... did she bake 'em? 'Cause ye can have 'em then. Tell her I love her and to send me a story, I'm bored out of me skull here.

Alex came to see me before I got yer owl... It was something. I wanna ask her out. Is that... Can I do that? I'm shaped like a wooden duck if I'm asking ye this...

            You actually love me,
                      Phillip the mostly Disabled Lad