17 March 2010

Witches and wizards all over Wizarding Britain & Ireland discovered this morning the first part of a Ministry Public Service Announcement campaign in response to recent Dementor attacks.

An aide to the Minister told us, "the campaign raises awareness of the importance of being vigilant and keeping your composure.  Studies show that panic and a sourpuss can attract Dementors.  We must keep a stiff upper lip and be ready to defend ourselves if need be."


But critique of the PSA's is already strong.

"It's a bit understated isn't it? What we need is the Ministry to step in and do its job! We don't need Cheering Charms, we need a bloody security force," said a wizard in Diagon Alley.

"What about my son?" demanded a witch in Hogsmeade.  "He's only 9 and hasn't got a wand yet.  He walks to school, you know."

As if to answer these protestations the aide to the Minister said, "Keep in mind, this is only the first step.  Multiple departments are hard at work to understand and eliminate this threat.  But in the meantime, don't forget to smile!"

And there you have it.