Ambrose and Zeta Pepper
Hogwarts School
Great Hall
Britain

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Dear my favourite cousin Ambrose and my favourite cousin Zeta,

I have heard rumors.

The rumory sort of rumors that may or may not be rumors. And this, my dear, is the very reason I am writing to you.
I have my worries, and my concerns—but most of all, I am confident that no matter what happens, you will make an educated guess.

Heed my words.

Potions ingredients are for potions, nothing more!  Having once been a teenager like yourselves (and currently being a healer) I have done and seen things. I have seen what happens when a curious witch takes belladonna recreationally. I know what happens when you complete the nutmeg challenge. Don’t even get me started on velvet beans!

Actually, yes. Get me started on velvet beans! I am going to list some common (and not so very common) potions ingredients that have been used recreationally!

Velvet beans are exotic, they’re fun! They can be used in certain antidotes for snake venoms. However, they’ll make you itchy. It may be habit forming when abused, so please don’t!  Save them for the healers, use them for good! Velvet Beans: Itchy and mean!

Then there's nutmeg. Oh, nutmeg. It’s what gives eggnog that eggnoggy taste.  Don’t do it, not even once. Not only will it give you the hangover of your nightmares. When consumed in high quantities, it causes dizziness, blurred vision., an increased heart rate, and… It may make it more difficult to, ahem. Relieve yourself of bodily waste. You will have headaches. You will feel excited and then confused. You may have hallucinations and feel paranoid. It can also kill you. Nutmeg—  (Insert something dangerous that rhymes with nutmeg!)

The Lovage plant—I know it sounds weird that people would use it. I’ve seen it. I’ve wrestled many an angry person who has been feeling the effects of lovage abuse. I have no idea why they would take it, as it just makes them reckless and hotheaded. Please don’t do it, otherwise you’ll probably lose all your friends and get yourself hurt. Remember Lovage: Gonna make ya rage!

Now onto Belladonna. As you may or may not know, belladonna is extremely toxic. It is used in many different poisons. It can also be used as a anesthetic, but do not do that. The wrong dose can make things go sour, very quickly. That dose varies from person to person, and there’s no way to find out what that dose is until it’s too late. Usage causes delirium, hallucinations, and then death. Belladonna: It’ll Kill Ya!

Now this next one is the ingredient that I am most concerned about, as I have heard rumors that it is circulating around Hogwarts.

Now now, cousin Bertie and I have used many a sting back in the day. It may seem harmless. But there’s a reason that Adelebert is a bit eccentric. And it's not because he’s a Hughes! It's just what years of experimenting with potions ingredients does to you at a young age, when young brains are still growing! When we were about your age, we stole some billywig stings from…. Anyway. We got ahold of them on Christmas, and used quite a bit right before everybody started opening presents. We felt great! Until we got dizzy and Bertie started floating! Then I started floating! We kept hitting our heads on the ceiling! Everyone was panicking! Then I fell from my height and broke my arm, Bertie kept floating. His poor head, being smacked against the ceiling over and over. Not only were our bellies large and distended, but Bertie got an awful concussion. It was then that he decided to never use recreational substances again.
That trip to St. Mungos was no fun. No fun at all!

Billywig stings: It’s all fun and games until you get a concussion and break bones!

I am writing this letter because I care! And if you have any friends that you are concerned about using these substances, please intervene! I’ll always be here to give you advice. Or, I could send them a scary letter if you’d prefer that.

If I do not receive a response from either of you, I will assume that you are dead, and I must be the one to inform the family. Please don’t make me do this.

Flynn Hughes
…
…
London

22 February 2010

Dear cousin Flynn,

So have I got this list right:

- Velvet beans
- Nutmeg
- Lovage
- Belladonna
- Billywig stings

Is there anything else I should add? It's just there's a very good mail order apothecary, and the expression is whatever kills you makes you stronger.

No, hang on, it's whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Thanks Flynn, at least that saves me reading the potions text books to find out. You're the best cousin ever!

Ambrose

Flynn Hughes
....
....
London

Cousin Flynn,

So I have to tell Mum she can't use Nutmeg in anything now? Is that right?

And I know I'm not the best student but I'm not stupid. I'm taking Herbology still remember? Cyhirae's probably keeping Ambrose in line anyways, I can't see her trying anything and her Dad's a professor.

Give Bertie the drawing for me.

So not dead,

Zeta

(Attached is a cartoon of Bertie and Flynn knocking their head against the ceiling. Flynn looks very confused in it.)

Ambrose Pepper
Hogwarts School
Great Hall
Britain

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You are going to give me a heart attack. An aneurysm!

You are messing with me, I know it!

Do not abuse these ingredients. That ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ logic is not solid logic.  It’s more like: What doesn’t kill you now will probably kill you  eventually. Believe it or not, I don’t want you to die.

Please, please, especially avoid Belladonna.

You have been warned, and now I’m worried.

Zeta Pepper
Hogwarts School
Great Hall
Britain

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I sure hope Ambrose’s girlfriend is keeping him in line. (Sorry, I’m not even going to attempt to spell that name.)

The drawing is lovely. I met Bertie for lunch and he says he’s going to hang it up in his cubicle or whatever. He loves it and tells me to tell you that he’s sending happy thoughts your way. He also wants you to tell your father to behave.

Your mum can use nutmeg in cooking. Just don’t drink the whole bottle, Zeta.

How is school for you? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend?

Thank you for not messing with me,

Flynn Hughes
...
...
London

Flynn,

You can just call her Cy that's not that hard. I'm glad Bertie liked the drawing though, maybe I'll make him another one over summer. I'll make you another one too when I have time. There's so many new Professors to draw.

And Nutmeg isn't a liquid you can't drink it. Unless you mixed it with water but eww.

School is fine. Ambrose and I are raising a little tree for herbology. And no boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Maybe later but not yet. Need to ask dad about it again.

Weird having Ambrose get there first.

Love,

Zeta

Flynn Hughes
…
…
London

25 February 2010

Dear cousin Flynn,

Belladonna? I think she's in the fifth year? It's ok, I have a girlfriend, and she's called Cyhirae. I thought I told you about her? But yeah, I'll avoid Belladonna, not that I think I've met her.

If my letters give you heart attacks then I hope you read them when you are at St Mungo's each time I send them. Or perhaps I shouldn't send you letters?

Sorry this is short, I have to finish my potions homework and it is taking ages. I forgot to water the tree me and Zeta are looking after too. Hopefully she won't notice - I gave it double this evening.

Hope you are well and everyone else. Are you coming to visit when we finish term? Did you hear anything else about Uncle Monty Octavius and the flying car? Do you think we could get him to let us have a go?

Ambrose