Archer Radley
Auror Office

Winnie Oliver
Hufflepuff Table
Hogwarts, Scotland

Winnie,

Sorry, but Dax was far too busy acting as being my house elf trainee to answer your letter.  I figured, seeing as you are my niece, I’d answer your questions in a much better way than he could anyway. 

First thing’s are first: If you are happy, I suppose your family the uninformed can be happy for you. 

But, on that note, there are several things you need to remember. 

-He has you as a girlfriend, he certainly doesn’t need you to spend money on him.
-If you insist on a gift, a card and what – a slab of meat? Should be sufficient to keep him happy.  Boys are simple.
-Do not let him kiss you.  Not for a year, at least.  Two years is preferable. 
-You shouldn’t visit any bases.  They’re overrated.  Holding hands is enough – and even that can be dangerous (hang nails – cut up your hands, they will). 

Any more questions?

-Uncle Archer

PS: I've changed my mind. Kissing does not occur for the first ten years of a relationship. 

Miss Winifred Leigh Oliver
Hufflepuff Table
Hogwarts, Scotland

Auror Archer Radley
Auror Office
Ministry of Magic
London England

Dear Uncle Archer,

That letter was intended for Dax. Not for you. Opening someone else's mail is a criminal offense in all most countries. You are an auror! You cannot go round breaking the law on a whim!

Also, I am not twelve anymore. I am fifteen, I am practically an adult. I know better than to think you wait that long to kiss a boyfriend! People don't even wait that long to do... other things. Stop being so silly and treating me like a child. I'm an almost grown woman with an almost grown boyfriend and we have a mature witch to wizard relationship!

And the slab of meat comment was mean. Zel can't help he's a werewolf. And he likes things other than eating people. He likes pumpkin quite a lot. And he and Lord Fluffybutt get on very well.

Why are you so mean to me? Do you want my relationship to fail and for Zel to hate me?

You're a mean old fathead,
Winnie

Winnie Oliver
Hufflepuff Table

Senior Auror Fathead Radley
Auror Office

Winnie,

Part of being a senior auror is monitoring mail in the office.  I’m sorry you feel violated, but it is part of my duty, and I did pass on the letter.  I just figured I should also contribute. 

And I appreciate you being closer to being an adult – but if you want to talk legalities, 17 is legal age, Win.  So, just keep that in mind.  And a mature relationship entails a lot of things beyond Valentine’s Day presents. 

You might be mad at me, but I care about you I’m just looking out for you. 

If he likes pumpkin so much get him some pumpkin candies (don’t spend too much money). 

I will always tell you what to do anyway, no matter how old you are.

-Uncle “Fathead” Archer

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(Attached is a small bag of knuts and sickles enough for Archer’s suggestion)

Miss Winifred Leigh Oliver
Hufflepuff Table
Hogwarts, Scotland

Auror Archer Radley
Auror Office
Ministry of Magic
London England

Uncle Archer,

Well... I am glad you passed on the letter, at least. Hopefully Dax will be of more help than you. And I know that 17 is the legal age, my point is that I am very nearly seventeen. I won't be a child forever! And I would think you would be happy for me that I have my very first boyfriend and that he is very nice and a prefect and a good Hufflepuff and a nice person. Just because he's a werewolf doesn't make him a bad person, you know. Lots of werewolves are nice people. Like the old headmaster and that first year girl.

I'm not mad at you. I'm just annoyed. You don't trust me and you always act like a little kid and I am not.

Besides, Auntie Leola says that you are the worst person to take dating advice from because you are terrible at relationships and don't have a romantic bone in your body and have terrible taste in women. She said not to listen to you and that I can kiss Zel Trumble all I want so long as I don't let him get fresh with me. Whatever that means.

Thank you for suggesting pumpkin candies. They have some very nice pumpkin brittle at Honey Dukes that I bet he would like. Thank you for sending the money, it was very nice of you and I forgive you for being a fathead since you decided to see reason.

I am glad you look out for me, but sometimes I have to look out for myself.

Love,
Winifred