11.30am, Beijing, China
Everyone in this oneshot is speaking Chinese, but it's translated into an English-styled conversation for ease of reading and writing.
A light drizzle pattered against the road, the pedestrians and the cars as the saloon car slipped noiselessly between the lanes. Yellow light flashing at one side of its rear, it moved into a lane and headed onwards like a determined shark towards its prey.
Ling Yue gazed unseeingly out of the window as the car headed out into the highway, focusing on either the raindrops rolling down the perspex or the distant concrete columns of flyovers passing by. On occasion a slender finger went up to her lips and gently alighted on the raised discoloured skin across her lips, but only very slightly and for a few seconds. She would pull away her hand abruptly, as if she had remembered something, but sooner or later her hand would be back to investigate the still-fresh scar. It was like a tongue plunging back to explore the gap left by a missing tooth - just automatic.
She turned her head slightly and watched the man beside her out of the corner of her eye. He was more focused on the road than he was on his passenger, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration. Her eyes roved over the scars on
his face, and she wondered if he had ever done the same with his set. Probably not after the second and third ones, maybe.
It was only until they were travelling smoothly along the highway that he finally spoke. "You don't have to go, you know."
"We've been through this before, Shaozu," she sighed. "I want to go back. It's about time I did. If I stay here anymore I'll be reminded of everything that's happened here."
"And we can help you out." Shaozu glanced at her. "I hear they don't have therapists in England, not for the magical folk. You'd have to pretend to be non-magical if you want to see a therapist."
Ling Yue smiled, despite herself. "And you think I'd find it hard?"
There was a pause, and then there was the sound of a suppressed chuckle. She knew he was amused, no matter how stoic he could get. "No, I suppose not. You're right."
"Thank you for your offer, though." She resumed looking out through the window. "I would love to stay, but I think there's too much of what I can't bear here."
"Will you ever return?"
She turned her head to see him looking at her. Apart from a brief glance on checking the road, he didn't turn his gaze away. Ling Yue felt her face warm a little as she gazed back into the brown eyes that had watched over her and kept her safe for the past few years. For a moment, a streak of doubt passed through her heart, and she wanted to tell him that she would stay just to be with him, but...it would be too much.
"Maybe," she said, turning her head away and breaking her gaze. "We'll see. It'll depend on how busy I am over there."
"Perhaps I should visit you there one day then," he suggested. Ling Yue gave him a look of surprise and noticed the small but no less mischievous smirk playing on his lips. "I've always wanted to take a look at the British Auror Corps, myself."
"If you do, you better send a notice in advance," she warned him. "Both to me and to the Head of the British Aurors. And make sure you send one to the Head of Magical Law Enforcement as well."
"If you have to tell me that I think I would have to resign from my position," he said, still smirking. "I wasn't chosen just because I can recite classical poetry by heart."
"If you
can recite classical poetry by heart, the world would have come to an early end."
Shaozu laughed, the scars on his face creasing in amusement. Once, a long time ago, his skin had been unmarked by age, worry and injury. Ling Yue admired his high nose, his high, if slight, cheekbones and the eyes with their slightly upturned corners, even if they were marred by the presence of no less than nine scars on his face at various places. The Chief Auror himself was hardly bothered by them - as he had joked, "Nine for heaven! I know where I'm going when I die, at least!"
But that wasn't why she liked him. When she had arrived in China he had been a Senior Auror who, like the others, had tsked at a Muggleborn Auror knowing nothing of their skills. Unlike the others, though, he had seen that she was willing to battle all odds to find her place, and he was willing to teach her. And over the last few years that had passed, he had gone from mentoring to being her guardian. He'd backed her, given her advice, and several times protected her from harm at the cost of injuring himself. To her, he felt more like the brother she didn't have.
And he had done it all because he genuinely liked, respected and admired her for her abilities. Apart from Wei Long, she had not met any other man like him.
Maybe that was why she'd sort of styled her hair to be like his. Both had black, long hair. He always wore his in a neat ponytail that still somehow managed to convey his personal beliefs in freedom within the rules.
"Men with long hair are weak rebels who think more of their appearance," her father had said, but he hadn't seen Shaozu. The mere sight of Gan Shaozu striding through the office like a man with a personal vendetta against the world was enough to silence the rest of the Aurors. That had won her over.
She sometimes wore her hair in a high ponytail so that she wouldn't look like she was copying him, but she would have her hair done in no more than that.
This, and so many other reasons, was why she oftentimes regretted her choice to leave China and return to England, where she had been born. But somehow she knew it was the right thing to do, and nothing could dissuade her. Her regrets were fleeting; this choice remained, silent and steadfast like the mountains in a blizzard.
They continued the rest of their journey in silence, although she caught Shaozu, once or twice, glancing at her. There was nothing but concern in his eyes. She knew he was worried for her, but she had made up her mind.
The airport finally came into view. Shaozu navigated the car
[1] into the car park. Anyone watching closely would notice that the wheels of the car weren't actually touching the road - Shaozu, having been disgusted at how expensive it was to replace tyres, had deliberately magicked the car to float slightly off the surface while sticking to a predetermined position on the road which enabled the car to travel smack in the middle of a lane no matter what. But you'd have to look very closely to notice, in which case you shouldn't be that close.
Ling Yue watched as he got her luggage out. He had outright banned her from carrying anything ("And that's an
order from your Chief Auror", much to her amusement). His long hair spilled over his shoulder as he ducked into the boot of the car to retrieve one of her smaller bags. For a moment she wanted to reach over and run her hands through his hair - but then he was out again, flicking his ponytail away as he straightened up.
"I can't believe you're taking this little with you," he said, as they wheeled her luggage off.
"Are you an adept
[2] or not?" she asked, though she couldn't be annoyed with him. "I've expanded my luggage, you know that I do it all the time. It's not enough to bring furniture with me, but I've got my parents' house in Cardiff."
"You're lucky, then." He grunted as he lifted her luggage onto the pavement. "If I come and visit, am I allowed to stay with you? Will people think we're a couple?"
Ling Yue gave him a playful punch on the shoulder for that. He laughed as he fended her off gently, but said nothing more.
They found a luggage trolley for the bags and wheeled it over to the check-in counter, where Shaozu waited for her. She came back with only one backpack and a smile. "Just under the weight limit," she told him. "So hah. No paying for me, just like I told you. I
can deal with it."
"I would be surprised if your luggage was overweight. I think it would be time to question your skills in magic." He grinned. "But I don't think that's necessary."
Ling Yue rolled her eyes. "Let's just go and wait in front of the departure hall."
As they watched the crowd of people milling past them, she felt his hand slip into hers and squeeze it gently. She looked up at him to meet his eyes watching her.
After a moment, she said, "Okay, spit it out. You've been keeping it from me this long and I'm going to be boarding soon, so you might as well start now."
"Always so forward." Shaozu's face broke into a smile. It wasn't just any smile - Ling Yue had seen the variety of smiles he could pull off, and this one was one he reserved for her. A gentle yet knowing curve of the lips, as if he was proud of her like a father was to his daughter. "I know there's no way to convince you to stay, Ling Yue, but I would so dearly love to give you one more speech on why you should."
"Save it, Shaozu. Keep it for the
other thing you want to tell me."
A disembodied female voice sounded overhead, announcing the opening of her boarding gate. Ling Yue added, "And hurry up."
He wasted no time as he turned around and wrapped his arms around her waist. "If I had my way, right now, I would keep you safe here with me. To make sure that nothing of the past seven years would ever happen to you again." He reached up and brushed a stray hair from her face as she looked up into his eyes. "But I know I can't, and if I do truly love you I would have to let you go. Because you're always you're own person."
"And I thank you for remembering that all this time," she said, smiling.
"After how the others treated you? It would be disrespect if I didn't." He brushed her cheek with his hand. "I didn't think I could ever love again, but you made me change my mind. We're scarred and with old souls, but it's not your looks or your age that would matter to me - it's who you are. Keep being that person, Ling Yue." Shaozu leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Don't let death get you down. You're a strong woman. Keep being strong, for your sake."
Ling Yue blushed. "I will. I promise."
"Promise yourself. I always trust you to be the woman who made me realise that there's still someone worth caring for in the world."
"You definitely know me more than you let on, then."
Shaozu waggled his eyebrows. Ling Yue laughed. Somehow it felt sad, and yet she was happy. Happy that she got to spend her last minutes in China with someone who cared for her after all that she'd lost and hurt through seven years.
"If you ever come back to China, let me know, all right?" he said, releasing her. "I'll always make space for you in my flat, however small it is. I can sleep on the floor again, if it's you."
"I'll take your couch, if you don't mind." They laughed. "But I'll remember. You, and all of you guys back at the office. Wei Long. Shangquan. To not remember you all and what you've done for me would be a disrespect. One day I'll pay you back."
"Just be the person you are." He smiled. "That's all I ever want from you."
Ling Yue reached up with both her arms and hugged him around his neck. "I will." She pulled herself up as he held her, and whispered in his ear, "Just one more time, please. Let me hear you say it."
He pulled back, looked at her. "I thought you only ever wanted Wei Long to have that privilege?"
"I think you should have it now." She smiled, if it a little sadly. "Wei Long's dead. I have to move on, like you've always said. And we've been together, even if brief and I know how much you'd love to be back with me in a proper relationship. So have your chance for that moment. You'll be the only one to call me that."
Shaozu blinked at her. Then he smiled and gently touched foreheads with her. She closed her eyes, feeling his breath on her face, smiling. The world around them fell away into silence...it was only the two of them now, in their own space.
"I love you, Ling Ling," she heard him whisper, the words opening up a rose of sadness and yet overwhelming love within her chest. Then she felt his lips against hers, and she kissed him back, her hands buried in his hair, like she had wanted to do, like she had remembered on those nights when she had cried and dreamed of death, and he had been the only one to answer her.
It felt like hours had passed, but when they finally ended the kiss it had only been a few minutes, according to the big digital clock over the boarding gate. The world filled the silence and resolved into the chatter and footsteps of the people around them. Shaozu breathed in deeply and stepped back, releasing her. "I've kept you long enough. Have a safe trip. Goodbye, and good luck, Ling Ling."
"Take care of yourself," she said, "and we'll talk later on. One day." She smiled. And he smiled back, that special smile he reserved for her and her alone.
She walked through the gates, was waved on by the boarding official at the podium and turned back. He was still watching her, hands in his pockets, overcoat draped one shoulder, ponytail still spilling over his neck from their kiss. He was still smiling.
Ling Yue waved. Shaozu waved back at her. For all the stoicness he pulled off in the office, for all the stern, stony expressions, she would have never believed he could look so different. But there he was, without a hint of his job's troubles. She knew she would remember this image of him, silhouetted against the light from the glass windows behind him.
She turned away. One day, maybe, she would return to him. For now, another country, another home to call hers, lay before her. This was her path.
***
When the aircraft landed in Heathrow, London, it was not the name Xin Ling Yue she gave to the Ministry official waiting for her next to a car, but Adrianna Xin. She was, however, the same woman who had left China. And she hoped that she would be the same woman when she returned to her true homeland. For herself. For the sake of her future.
And for Chief Auror Gan Shaozu of the Chinese Auror Corps, who would patiently wait for her for as long as it took her to return to China.
[March 2009] Migration [Oneshot]