Xavier swung his legs over the side of the bed testing the stone floor below. Thankfully it was warm and for a moment he wondered what had kept it that way throughout the night. He leaned forward grabbing the untidy lump that had been his clothing from the day before. He tossed the white dress shirt over his shoulders, covering the large tattoo on his back and began to button it. Once that was complete he slipped into his slacks, leaving his house tie and robe to lay on the floor once more. He didn't need to be in full uniform this early in the morning on a Saturday anyway.

The Slytherin turned to face the equally dressed down back of his closest friend Demitria Strelnikov. For months now the pair had been sneaking off to the Room of Requirement, to spend their nights in bed together. So far nothing had taken place beyond a some spooning but it wasn't as if they had been doing it to fulfill some illicit tryst. Strellie had been sleeping here since the beginning of the school year so as not to disturb her room mates with the screams from her nightmares. Xavier started joining her once he discovered what was going on. So far they hadn't been caught what with two of their closest friends being prefects (titles that last Xavier had heard had been stripped from Jordyn and Huxley) and once they returned to school after the Christmas Holidays the pair had resumed this nightly act of comfort.

Xavier clenched his jaw for a moment before looking away from her, "So ye goin' botha tellin' me what thee feck is wrong wit ye?" There was a hint of anger to his voice mixed with obvious concern. It didn't take a Legilimens to see that there was something seriously wrong with her, something that went beyond the initial shock and nightmares that came from the werewolf attack. He had noticed it the moment they had come back from school but every time he tried to talk to her about it she shrugged it off as nothing and kept on pretending she was just fine. He knew why she did it with everyone else. No one wanted to see the Slytherin Princess unravel at the seams but he didn't understand why she was hiding it from him.

Demitria felt Xavier getting up and closed her eyes tight. Even though she had managed to sleep through most of the night, a feat that would have been impossible two months before, she still felt tired. The Quidditch game the previous day had been a disaster and she would rather stay in bed wrapped up in covers than face... well, anyone. She couldn't believe she had lost control like that. Not only had she lost control, she had gotten kicked out of the game. The shame was unbelievable. The only way she had been able to walk out of that locker room was because she had put on just enough charm to distract everyone around her, but she couldn't keep that up forever.

She would have to show herself eventually, so with a quiet sigh, she slipped out of the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. After a quick transfiguration, her black dress changed just enough to be different from the one she had worn the day before. She had been wearing mostly black dresses anyway since Christmas. It was just easier.

  "So ye goin' botha tellin' me what thee feck is wrong wit ye?"

Strellie didn't bother turning around to face Xavier. His tone was abrasive, but she knew him well enough to hear the blatant concern behind the acidity. She hadn't said much of anything last night before they had gone to bed. She had simply curled up next to him and had gone to sleep.

Kicking off the flats that she had just slipped on, she brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. Demitria knew that it was going to come up eventually, but why on earth did it have to be so soon. With anyone else she could have slipped on her masks, but not with Xavier.

"I would if I could..." She answered quietly, her black dress crinkling against the sheets. "There's just too much to even start." Her blonde curls fell loose over her shoulder as she finally turned to look at Xav.

For a moment Xavier contemplated just walking out on her. If she didn't want to open up to him he couldn't force her but he would have thought after all this time she would have been better at talking to him. He knew he wasn't always the most receptive person, especially when he couldn't store the information for later use against the person but things were different between them. He could be himself, his real self around her and he knew that there were barriers upon barriers that she dropped whenever she was around him.

With a small sigh he crawled over the bed and sat down behind her straddling her smaller body between his legs and wrapped his strong arms around her. He knew he loved her, more than he ever thought her had loved Ayla or Bella and he hoped she knew it because he was so bad at expressing it. He placed his lips gently on her shoulder. It was almost painful for him to see her like this, especially when he had no idea what was bothering her. This was something more than the nightmares that had been plaguing her since the summer. Something had happened over the Christmas Holidays and she had been neglecting telling him what it was.

"Won't know till ye try, yeh?" He nuzzled in the crook between her neck and her shoulder trying to convey that he could be a concerned loving boyfriend, even though they had yet to actually give each other those titles, "Sumthin happened durin' thee break. I know it, ye haven' bin thee same since ye came back." Unfortunately due to their family obligations they hadn't been able to see each other during the break.

Demitria felt Xavier slide across the bed to sit behind her. As he wrapped his arms around her, she leaned into him and took a deep breath. It was crazy, but Xavier Tawse was her anchor. If she closed her eyes and focused on the warmth of his body and the smell of cigarette smoke that was him, she could pretend like she never had to leave the Room of Requirement again. There was no other place where she didn't feel like she was being torn in half.

The Russian knew that it wasn't easy for the dark Slytherin to show affection for anything, even her. Children like them weren't raised to love. But they had to at least try. It was because of that that she tilted her face toward Xavier's and spoke quietly. "I saw Taras over Christmas."

It was an understatement for sure. She had seen her father no less than eight times over the two week break- the main reason she hadn't been able to see Xavier. Demitria didn't know why, but she felt like she needed to. She needed to see him to prove to herself that she wasn't turning into something abominable. After her babushka refused to train her further, Strellie needed to go to someone else that knew how to manipulate charm and unfortunately, that meant Taras.

"I had no other choice, Xav. I-I... I'm... разорванный... torn. My charm is too strong to leave wild. I couldn't ask Amara to after her baby sister died. Nika, my babushka, won't even see me after the werewolf attack. There was only him and..."

She drew in on herself and tried to curl up even closer to Xavier, "Я хочу быть собой.[1]. I want to be Strellie. He's twisting me, Xav. I don't want to be him."

1.	I want to be me

Xavier stiffened when she mentioned her father. He knew her well enough to know how she felt about the man, the lies, the deceit throughout her childhood. The pressure to be the perfect little princess that most purebloods experience. He let her talk, let her try to explain what was happening. He didn't understand all of it. He knew she was a vela and had felt what her charm was like. He was glad that she was trying to learn how to control it but putting herself at the mercy of that . . . man. Xavier had come to hate him almost as much as he hated his own father (who despite Arathorn's best efforts Xavier had discovered once again to still be alive)

Xavier wasn't about to plead with her to stay away or ask if there was anyone else that could help. He wasn't that kind of guy, after all even in the worst situations there was smallest sliver of information you could walk away with that could help you in the future. If Strellie had to see Taras, she could at least get something out of it, more than the charms lessons, "He can' change ye. He couldn' when ye were young, he can' now." He snuggled into the crook of her neck again, "Ye'll git wha ye need from 'im an' be on yer way." There was something else there on the tip of his tongue that refused to make it past his lips, a promise to keep her safe and to help her along if she needed it but Xavier was afraid that if he were to come along, so to speak, if he was to allow himself to be in the presence of a man like Taras (much like the influence Cináed had on him) he wouldn't be able to walk away.

"Jus remember who ye are luv, tha's sumthinhe can' take away no matta how hard he tries."