((OOC: Welcome to the world of the snapshot+! Where a different kind of story will be told across many characters and many places inside Hogwarts. Though their likes may differ, though their own lives travel different circles, on Saturday mornings before lunch the radios of the school are frequently turned to the Wizard Wireless Saturday Adventure at this time for an episode of Jasper Warlock from 11 to Noon.

The rules are simple. Each character can only post once and each post must continue the Jasper Warlock story from where it was last left off. Wherever that character may be, they obviously need a wireless or some similar device nearby to catch the program.

Would you like to feature a character in this snapshot+ thread? Do you have questions about Jasper Warlock or how to reference the Wizard Wireless Saturday Adventure in your other threads of this date? Send PM inquiries here))

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One soaked courtyard

Though the weather had been frigid and the castle layered under precipitation of many forms, the cloudy day proved to be a little warmer. Warm enough that Mace had taken the pygmy puff cage out for some fresh air.

Actually, it was only warm because Mace was making the wall torches burn hotter with a spell. Temps barely out of the 30s. Which meant a 4 on the European scale of degrees. The puffs needed a break from the Salem dormitory, which could be noisy and smoke smelling from misfired spells and plagued by odors of junk food and deodorant. Or maybe that was just Mace's room.

The puffs deserved some fresh air so Mace had wheeled the great cage with a puff playland terrarium out along the edge of this courtyard. There was a greater presence of pink in the mass of puffs as Valentines Day was nearly here. Mace was lounging on a bench, wand fiddling with the radio he had perched on the cage, trying to find some tunes. Great Britain still didn't impress him with the Saturday morning music selection.

Narrator: "Greetings, listeners, and welcome to another exciting drama in the saga of Jasper Warlock."

The booming drums of the intro sounded promising. Mace put a toothpick in his mouth.

Narrator: "Where we last left Jasper, the Warlock had arrived to the wild-lands of the African savanna in search of Professor Mishina, former Creatures mistress at Mahoutokoro, for her expertise in hopes that it would shed a clue on the Phantom Beast, the unknown terror that has left a trail of slain manticores and chimaeras in its wake across Greece. However, the same night Jasper arrives at the camp where Professor Mishina heads an international team of magizoologists and local shamen, a rampaging Nundu barrels into the camp, scattering the team in various directions as they flee in terror.

"Morning has come and now Jasper is lost in the wild-lands with nary a clue to where Mishina's team has retreated, with only one packet of emergency rations, half a canteen of water and a wand of unknown wood that he picked up in the fray of the nundu's attack. Wizard Wireless Adventure Saturday presents Jasper Warlock on the Pestilence Pox!"

<After the intro a variety animal noises give way to the hum of insects and the calls of birds of carrion>

Jasper: "Buggering bugbears! None of this is making a lick of sense! Professor Mishina's team was tracking erumpent migrations and erumpents never travel into nundu territory this time of year. Not during birthing season, after the males exploded in mating season. Nothing can go up against a nundu without high numbers, be it erumpent or human. It takes at least 50 wands to combat the beast and Professor Mishina's team is scarcely a score! What was she thinking?"

<Jasper can be heard moving through the tall dry grasses>

Jasper: "Hmm...nundu. The most dangerous mammal in the world, that can't be beaten without large numbers. Not even a manticore or chimaera could last long against an nundu. Could the Phantom Beast of Greece be a nundu?"

<fanfare to convey significance>

Jasper: "But that makes less licks of sense! What dark fiend would be able to capture and transport a nundu? For what purpose? I wonder if Professor Mishina would share my opinion. Although her whole expedition is sounding shady. But I can't do anything until I bloody find them!"

<a piercing cry and the yell of a mysterious voice>

Mysterious Voice: "Help! Help! Begone rotten bird! Help!"

Jasper: "Egad! Get off him you vulture! Stupefy!"

<a raspy cry and a scream followed by the flapping of wings>

Jasper: "I wanted to stun, not cast a severing charm! Bloody wand! I apologize for that."

Mysterious Voice: "No, that is okay, I cannot feel a thing. Thank you for dealing with that vulture, stranger. I recognize your voice from camp last night. You are the famous warlock Jasper, are you not?"

Jasper: "Are you part of Professor Mishina's camp?" <sudden crescendo> "Ye gods man, what happened to your face?! Your skin looks like tree bark!"

Mysterious Voice: "Oh, I have caught the pox!"

Jasper: "Pox?"

Mysterious Voice: "The pox. Or plague. Some manner of pestilence. This disease has been sweeping through the country and soon I will be like the other victims. Paralyzed and transmogrified into a gnarly old tree. I was in the sick tent when the nundu attacked, then after I escaped my strength left me this morning and then that vulture thought I was dead and tried to pick at my face. A great annoyance because I cannot feel a thing."

Jasper: "If you can't feel a thing why did you scream just now?"

Mysterious Voice: "I screamed because I saw a vulture's neck explode in front of me before it flew off. If you ever see that vulture again you might have to put it out of its misery."

Jasper: "Bloody stupid wand!"

Mace smiled and chewed on his toothpick as he turned the volume up.

Jasper: "Putting aside the vulture for now...my dear sir, I have two rather pressing questions to ask you. The first, less urgent but more polite to begin with, is this -- what is your name?"

Mysterious Voice: "I am Seikyo Hideki -- or rather, Hideki Seikyo, as I recall that English-speaking people such as yourself place given and family names in the opposite order as in my home country of Japan."

Jasper: "I must say, you speak the Queen's English remarkably well for a Japanese-born wizard."

Seikyo: "Thank you sir, though in truth most students in my homeland are taught to speak some English in order to better communicate with the world at large. Mine is more advanced than most because I am a translator. It is why I accompanied the expedition to this god-forsaken place. Now, I shall never leave."

Jasper: "No! You cannot give up hope. You're not kindling yet. Stay strong!"

Teddy hadn't missed an episode of Jasper Warlock since he was eight and he certainly wasn't going to start now. Like every Saturday he'd checked the time as soon as he woke, dressed just enough to avoid a scolding, swept by the Great Hall for a ration of Pixie Puffs, and returned to his dorm, where the orange pocket radio bearing the silvery logo of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes was waiting.

Now he lay on his stomach in his four-poster, spooning up the last of his cereal and hanging on to every syllable of Jasper's latest escapade.

Jasper: "My second question, Mister Seikyo, is more pressing. This pox you have contracted, the one which turns you into a tree -- is it contagious?"

Seikyo: "We do not know."

Jasper: "Well then, how does it spread?"

Seikyo: "We do not know."

Jasper: "Can it be cured?"

Seikyo: "We do not know."

Jasper: "Blast it man! What do you know?"

Seikyo: "Only what I have already told you, Jasper-san. That, and also this: the local shamans say that only those who carry the strength of a willow-wood in their hearts may survive the sickness once it has been contracted, and cure those who come after them. Alas, no such man has been seen in these parts for many a year, as willow is very uncommon in this region of the world, especially for its use in wands."

Jasper: "Willow, eh? Hm..."

"Hm..." Ted mimicked, the last bit of milk off his spoon before trading it for a chocolate wand. His hair grew a few inches, darkening to a shaggy Prussian blue. It wasn't exactly how Jasper looked on the covers of his novelizations, but it was how Ted had always imaged him: wild-looking and disheveled from traveling, his chaotic appearance hiding a keen intellect beneath.

Jasper: "Clearly, if we are to locate any answers or procure a treatment for your ailment, we must reunited with the rest of the expedition party. Come, Seikyo."

Seikyo: "Alas, I cannot. My strength has failed me. Soon I will take root here, and shortly thereafter my dreadful transmogrification will be complete."

Jasper: "Very well then. If you cannot walk, I'll have to carry you."

<Jasper grunts, leaves crackling under his weight as he hoists Seikyo onto his back.>

Seikyo: "No, Jasper-san. You don't have to do this. I will only slow you down. Leave me here and save yourself."

Jasper: "Nonsense. My father taught me never to abandon a man while there is still hope. You haven't taken root yet, my friend. So long as there is still a chance, I won't leave you behind."

Ted smiled around his chocolate wand, rolling over on his back to stare up at the Gryffindor-red canopy that draped his bed. Jasper's relationship with his adopted family was one of his favorite parts of the whole show. Though Mr. Twycross wasn't his father by blood, Jasper held his words as gospel and always spoke the truest advice.

Never abandon a man so long as there is hope. One more bit of good advice to add to the list.

<Leaves and branches crunch with footsteps as Jasper continues through the jungle, his steps now slowed by the weight Seikyo on his back.>

Jasper: "Mister Seikyo, since you are, as you've said, from Japan, might I then assume that you attended Mahoutokoro? And, given your age, might I also deduce that you were at once a student of Professor Mishina's during the time when she taught at that very academy?"

Seikyo: "I did indeed, sir Warlock. You are truly as observant as your reputation suggests."

Jasper: "Tell me about her. What sort of witch is she, truly? What is the nature of her exploration here?"

Seikyo: "I shall tell you, sir Warlock, all that I know, though I fear it will not be enough to answer your many questions..."

<musical sting of the Jasper Warlock theme drumbeat>

Narrator: "We now cut to international journalist Cleo Skeeter (no relation), the intrepid reporter infatuated with Jasper who has been tracking him down for a shocking expose since the events of 'Jasper Warlock and the Bunyip Bushwhacking.' Having doggedly followed Jasper's progress south from the Mediterranean Cleo looks to get information as well about Professor Mishina's team from a local informant."

Local Informant: "All I know is that the magizoologists are following the erumpent migration. You will hardly survive two seconds in the erumpent country at this time of year."

Cleo: "Yes I know, but--"

Local Informant: "For starters, the arid air gets very very hot! Four hours in the sun will shrivel you like a prune."

Cleo: "Yes I know, but--"

Local Informant: "And not to mention, at this time the mother erumpents will be rearing up the little ones by butting them in the rears to get them used to running. The erumpents are deceptively fast and you can be caught in a stampede out of nowhere."

Cleo: "Yes, I KNOW, but--"

Local Informant: "That is, unless the stench of drying erumpent dung kills you first! Foul stuff, erumpent dung, and great mounds of it are everywhere. Besides eating, stampeding and exploding after mating, all an erumpent will do is leave great piles of dung that grow toxic in the heat. And if the dung covers a wayward un-exploded horn from a bull erumpent, why, the incubated threat can explode at any time--"

Cleo: "Can you please stop--"

Local Informant: "--and raining down termites as well! You wouldn't think it possible, but only dung beetles and termites benefit from mounds of erumpent dung. Termites will move into a fresh mound of dung and craft a tower out of it, so even if the dung is not in an obvious dung shaped pile, you can never be sure where it's gone to."

Cleo: "Will you (#@$%!!) hold your tongue! I merely wish to know how to contact Professor Mishina's team, not sit through a lecture!"

As fans of Jasper Warlock have come to recognize since Cleo Skeeter (no relation) was introduced nearly two months ago, it was uncharacteristic of her to swear. In fact, nosy as she may be she would never say a bad word to anyone, even if they were to spit in her face and step on her toe. It was this fact that had the Ravenclaws listening to the program in the corner of the common room turn away from the wireless to look towards Philo.

Philo remained rooted to his chair. It didn't help the look Tim Pepper was giving him.

Local Informant: "The magizoologists will not come this way again until in three weeks time, only if their supplies run out but even then if they did not supply themselves well in the southwest--"

Cleo: "Oh forget it. Here, a silver piece for your troubles."

<sounds of the informant walking off, Cleo also begins walking>

Cleo: "More like a silver piece for my troubles. Can't believe I'm stuck here with no leads, the secretive measures the magizoologists have as they observe the erumpents. Erumpents wouldn't even be a protected species if the males would stop exploding after mating. Not even panda bears are that disinclined to repopulate their numbers. How did Jasper manage to track down the magizoologists where I couldn't?"

<suddenly a violent popping sound is heard, a collapse of people colliding and following together in which Cleo's cry of "Sugar!" can barely be made out>

Sharp Voice: "*cough cough* Wretched portkeys, always leaving my voice dry. Algiers?"

Algiers: "Yes madam, here's the last bottle of (PISS!!)"

More looks towards Philo. The Ravenclaw felt hot under the collar. "He's asleep! I've knocked him out with a box of Fudge Flies laced with sleeping potion!"

Cleo: "Watch where you're...hey, what luck! Madam? Madam? You're Professor Mishina aren't you?"

Sharp Voice: "Excuse me? Oh, yes, bakka..."

<a thud of something heavy on the ground>

Professor Mishina: "Why did it have to be a crocodile trap? Yes, I'm Professor Mishina, terribly sorry but I'm due to--"

Cleo: "If you would just take a moment! I'm Cleo Skeeter (no relation) International Correspondent for the Prophet. I was hoping to meet with you but I was told your team wouldn't be back here for another three weeks."

Professor Mishina: "Yes, well, we had a change of schedule. Had to come back on an emergency p--"

Cleo: "Emergency Portkey?"

Professor Mishina: "No no, a regular portkey, someone forgot their luggage."

Cleo: "Professor Mishina, could you tell me if Jasper Warlock joined up with your team?"

Smarmy Voice: "Jasper!"

Professor Mishina: "Warlock!!"

Algiers: "That devil, she's probably working for him too!"

Cleo: "Wait, I'm not--"

Algiers: "STUPEFY!"

<a thud as Cleo hits the ground, followed by a hand smacking someone across the face>

Professor Mishina: "Algiers! You didn't have to stun her, we must move quickly. Now we'll be bogged down dragging her with."

Algiers: "Pardon me ma'am but it's better than risking one of Jasper's flunkies finding out what we're up to."

Smarmy Voice: "Actually, sir, Jasper Warlock works alone. Cleo Skeeter of no relation here has only been trying to track him down for an interview. Still, she could have done enough digging around into our activities."

Algiers: D'Arvit!

Tim Pepper was looking at Philo again.

"That was on the show! Didn't you hear that, it didn't echo like the last ones!"

"If there's another outburst from your frog..."

"It can't be Arlaug, look!" Philo spilled out the contents of his bag over the floor. "He's not in there. Wait, where is he?" Philo turned to pull up the cushion of his chair. Then he paused, remembering something. "And see, I told you it's not a made up swear! Algiers probably has Gaelic or Welsh ancestry or something."

Jasper: "Seikyo, my friend, either I'm weaker than I thought or you're getting heavier to carry."

"Keep it down you two!" someone hissed. "We've missed the transition."

Seikyo: "No, Jaspar-san, I'm afraid the wood I'm turning into is of high density."

Jasper: "What if I drag you? No, that would be worse."

Seikyo: "True. Even if I were to be cured, though I doubt it, I would possibly be missing vital organs from where they chipped away if you dragged me along."

Jasper: "Phew, what is that stench? I've smelled fouled brews and walked musty tombs in my time, but never have I smelled something like that!"

Seikyo: "It is probably erumpent dung."

Jasper: "Erumpent ($h!t)?"

"That wasn't Arlaug!" Philo cried. "I swear he's not anywhere!"

"Now Mr. Falkin, what is the bother over here?"

Philo swallowed air. A prefect had been attracted the Jasper Warlock listeners. His face blanched. It was Canterbury! And she was holding something. It looked like a stuffed weasel.

Jasper: "So tell me more about this Algiers man. You say you've never met him before?"

Seikyo: "It is as I said, Jasper-san. I have been working under Professor Mishina for many years. When I was her pupil and since she has taken sabbatical. So I know much about the people she has worked with, we all do on this expedition. We must. The Ministries of this continent have taken stringent security measures to protect the erumpent population. We all had to be cleared before observing them, full dossier reports on everyone to study. But Algiers is the only man I do not know about, I do not even know if that is his first or last name."

Jasper: "That is a puzzle--ugh!"

<a thud as Seikyo is dropped and Jasper slumps to the ground>

Jasper: "Tell me, Seikyo, when you first got sick, I must know--blugghh!--did you feel nauseated by chance?

Seikyo: "No."

Jasper: "Queasy?"

Seikyo: "No, and that is the same thing is it not? You are probably suffering from the toxic effects of the erumpent dung."

Jasper: "It's toxic??"

Seikyo: "In this heat it is. Only to magical folk, however. Curious thing, erumpent dung."

Jasper: "Ehhh, toxic like this witch that's been following me. Cleo Skeeter. No relation. How can you not smell that?"

Seikyo "My nose looks more like a sawed off tree branch, Jasper-san. I cannot smell anything. You should be watching out for..."

Ever since Ligeia had crossed the common room to check on the Jasper Warlock listeners Philo Falkin had been staring at her. All the students were, some more transfixedly horrified than others, but she didn't notice them at all.

Finally Philo pointed. "Is that a...?"

"This old thing?" Ligeia said, holding aloft what looked like a stuffed ferret twisting on a piece of wood to look fierce. "It's one of the Jarveys[1] we used to have around the gardens to eat gnomes. Papa Argyle eventually tired of them, given how perturbed his fellows on the wizengamot would be when they came around. This one needed a reworking of taxidermy before it can go back into the front hall. Sometimes it still swears a ruckus like Jarveys are known to do. We usually keep its mouth plugged with a stuffed vole."

Jasper: "(BLOODYBALDY&%*@STRUTTIN'@#$%'n'CHIPSYATWERP) it's raining termites!!"

There were sounds of spell fire as Philo slumped into his seat.

Seikyo: "Oh dear that termite mound must have been built over a wayward erumpent horn. This could end badly for me."

Jasper: "It could end badly for both of us in an ambush against three!"

<the din of battle goes on in the background as spells are fired and the squish of termites being stepped on and termites crunching on wood-like things almost drowns out the lines of the other characters, who can be heard distantly>

Smarmy Voice: "Keep them pinned! Don't give him a chance to return hexes!"

Whiny Voice: "But don't hit him too badly, the blasted Warlock has my wand!"

Guttural Voice: "Oh shut it, I've given you one of my backup wands. Didn't I tell you to keep a backup?"

Whiny Voice: "Your backup wand is a cedar! It's so wrong."

Guttural Voice: "There's wand choosing the wizard and then there's just stubbornness! Pull your weight, Jasper Warlock has been known to stun five duelists at once just so he didn't have to waste time with a tournament!"

Jasper: "REDUCTO!"

Whiny Voice: "AHHHH!! It's raining termites!"

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