8 January 2010


Society for the Reformation of Hags to host BBQ; Quote “All You Can Eat Babyback Ribs” Healers warn ill health effects of having the kids for dinner.


Leaked official plans for the TetraWizard Tournament; Third Task to Be “Knitting Competition and Fashion Show.”


Presentation of A Winter’s Tale opera goes off without a hitch. Quote random attendee, “I preferred the book much better.”


Deaglan McDonough parks vardoo vardou vurdo wagon at Hogwarts Greenhouses over the winter; Hogwarts assures “this is not by accident.”


First draft Babbity-Rabbity character, a talking lion, brought to life from the written page as castle Caretaker. The Charlatan rumored to replace Charms position.


Ravenclaw Head of House crams one-third of the Hogwarts castle populace into Cambridge home over Christmas.


Write-in from Ravenclaw Student paraphrased; “gigantic rotting squishy things in the cellar abducted me from Potions corridor, smelled like onions for weeks afterwards.”


When sectioned for interview, Dept of MAC affirms “nope, no breeches of the Satuette of Secrecy will occur this holiday, muggles cont. in the dark about magic.”


Rumors of mud monster around Hogsmeade. Current theory is “mud golem running amuck.”


TOO HOT TO PRINT! Exclusive Nola & Knockturnals concert at auror trainee dormitory; Fayette Clone Troops provided background dancing.


Primrose Claggin spearheads recall on green-growed The Leaf broomsticks; complains “chaffing, tree-rot and big nasty splinters.”


Auror Office Wh. Elephant Gift Exchange; all say “pants infested with cockroaches, prev. owner Merlin” to be best gift at party. Morgana Hollingbury tasked to authenticate.


3rd F healer sets up blind date for werewolf co-worker by slipping love potion into Dept. Intl Magic. Co-op paitient’s medicine.


Rotfang Conspiracy Info! “Froglegs” releases wrong capsules (sneezing powder, not gingivitis) in muggle street. Accidents & Catastrophes left holding wrong end of rabbit.


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