It was pretty clear that this was a Muggle household when you surveyed the amount of food that was not fitted into magically-enlarged cupboards and pantries in the Trishna kitchen. Ignan's eyes had taken it all in, and he'd raised an eyebrow to say,
"How many are you cooking for? Fifty?"

The prospects of his next move were into the living room and the rest of the house, with the magic fish tank (television) and teenagers. They wouldn't want to spend Christmas with him just as much as he didn't want to spend extensive social amounts of time with them, even if he was marginally more charitable towards them outside of the castle walls.

Besides, that meant listening with half an ear to Tapendra in his kitchen trying to cook for a small army while feeling even more uncomfortable and guilty.

"Do you have an apron?" He asked, double checking his wand was most definitely tucked away, "And don't say I needn't bother and you've got it under control. You've got goosefat in your fringe."

The holiday had been hectic. Aside from the issues with Aileen and Abby...well, he was having to feed 7 children three meals a day, and himself, and a dog now too, and having to get them from hexing the house down or fighting. And with the dinner planned for tonight, it took the number of servings needed up to 12. He'd never cooked that much food in his life, much less in this kitchen.  Tapendra was rather enjoying himself, though, the hectic nature of it somewhat fun, in a strange way.

He'd found one of the biggest geese he'd ever seen at the market and when Ignan came in, Tapendra had it arse-up in the kitchen sink, arm into its cavity up to the elbow. A bowl next to him held the giblets and the fat, and as Ignan spoke Tapendra finally grasped the neck, his arm leaving the cavity with a rather unappetizing squeltch.

"Fells that way, doesn't it," he said, rather more cheerfully than he felt, still holding the neck. This was going to be a regular mess, wasn't it? He blinked at the unspoken offer to help, shaking his head. He didn't like it when guests stepped in and didn't just go watch TV (which he felt Ignan could use some exposure to) but Ignan wasn't going to back down, he knew.

"Thanks. There's an apron hanging by the door there," he said, going cross eyed as he tried to focus on the goose fat caught in his bangs. "There's a erm, black one. The pink thing is Cy's. You can -" He let out a sort of grunt of effort as he dexterously reached over to open one of the counter's cupboards with his toes, the move clearly one he did often. "Chop up the vegetables, will you? Knife rack's on your left, just there - make them about an inch long. Except the carrots, do some 2 inches and the rest cut 'em lengthwise. Don't chop off a finger or anything, that gets messy." He grinned at Ignan for a moment before he had to look down into the goose again.

Gigi could hear snatches of kitchen conversation from the hall. She needed more caffeine, of one sort or another. And well, even if it was a grudging admittance to her, Tapendra probably needed some help.

But that apron...the thought of Ignan Storm wearing that apron? There was something she needed to do first. Something which largely entailed heading back to the living room, starting some music loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. After a few seconds for it to get going, she strolled her way back to the kitchen.

"So, if we give Winnie energy drinks-" she leaned casually against the doorframe and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "How slowly will you kill me?" Just because she had no intention to do so didn't mean Tappy needed to know that.

"Or would you just use that goose?" Big goose.

During the course of the day, Sasha had found himself oscillating between craving the distraction of the incredibly busy and very active, full household and wanting to find some dark corner to hide from it.  On more than one occasion, he'd experienced both at the same time.  As the day wore on, he'd found it difficult to figure out what to actually do with himself; the day had started out surreal and throughout the course of the day Sasha found himself facing reminders that he'd never had a Christmas quite like this one. 

He was immensely grateful for that. 

Sasha had stepped outside with Baldur, walking down to the college to throw a ball for the dog a few times.  To the dog's disappointment, much of the lingering snow from earlier that week had melted but he'd managed to find a few piles to pounce on. 

There were voices, both familiar and surprising, coming from the kitchen when Sasha finished drying the dog and returned inside.  The dog led the way towards the kitchen, eager to greet both the smells and people gathered in the kitchen.  Sasha followed, quickly, shuffling the dog out the kitchen door into the backyard before turning to offer an awkward grin the others while avoiding looking too thoroughly in Georgiana's direction. 

Difference number twenty-one.  Sasha wasn't entirely sure he ever remembered seeing the effort that went into a holiday meal before.  Luckily, he knew better than to say anything but his wide-eyed surprise expression as he surveyed the activity conveyed this was not an entirely familiar sight. 

"Is there something I can do?"  Sasha asked.  It was the obvious, polite question but 'can' was the imperative word.  "It's like potions, right?" 

And so it began.

Opting against the pink apron as suggested, Ignan dropped the darker coloured one over his head, not noticing anything unusual about the patterns.

In the next room, a loud regular-timed piece of orchestral music had started up with plenty of brass blaring out a rather sinister, minor melody. Ignan didn't ask, it was simpler not to when at the Trishna's, he'd learned that lesson.

"So, if we give Winnie energy drinks- How slowly will you kill me?"

Ignan was selecting a knife, addressing the vegetables, and looked round to see Georgiana leaning against the doorframe wearing well, dear Merlin, not much was about the only way he could describe it.

"Or would you just use that goose?"

"Georgiana." Ignan greeted with a nod, "I don't think Tapendra would appreciate my attempt to put his in a full body bind afterwards." Energy drinks, he assumed, were some kind of Muggle potion.

Another figure appeared in the kitchen, an altogether more suitably dressed one too.

"Is there something I can do? It's like potions, right?"

"Merlin, does nobody teach their children to cook these days?" Ignan despaired. Although they had a house elf, his mother had still taught him a few things about preparing simple meals in preparation for him living away. He'd also become quite handy at cooking on fires with one pot while abroad.

"Perhaps you can start chopping some of the vegetables then." He suggested to Sasha, stealing another glance at Georgiana and her over-exposure of flesh. "I'll get another knife."

Squelch. As he found more of the giblets, Georgiana appeared, wearing...not enough. Tapendra restrained a sigh. It was Christmas eve and yet she looked ready for a Halloween rave. The music did make him laugh, though, and he looked at Ignan with guilt for just a moment before clearing his throat. As he did so, Sasha arrived. Tapendra grinned at the both of them...his expression a tad wolfish.

"Wonderful timing!" He said, happily. "As a matter of fact, you both can help out a lot! Georgiana, please do me a favor and change," while commanding, his tone definitely had an air of pleading to it as well. "Our guests aren't here to marvel at how your top stays up. Jeans and a dress shirt are fine, just...not that."

The goose slipped and he caught it, depositing the giblets in the bowl he had off to the side. Then, habitually, he wiped his arm across his forehead...leaving a streak of fat and grease. He sighed, grabbing his apron to wipe his face off.

"Right," he said as he set the goose down, still wiping off his face. "Can you two go round up chairs for the dining room? And the card table, too. It's in the garage. We need 12 chairs and enough table space for that many. Might need the lawn chairs from outside. After that, please clean up a bit - the vacuum's in the hall closet." He smiled t them both, clearly already a bit frazzled. "Please? Thank you."

At least someone had appreciated her gesture, even if Tapendra immediately got on the appropriate clothing case right afterwards. Guess he hadn't gone blind yet. But she had to keep him on edge somehow. "Fine," Gigi rolled her eyes in a show of being put upon, "Clothes then chairs, then cleaning. Sure you want to trust him with a vacuum, though?" She jerked her head at Schlawkward.

Ignan, though. She leaned a bit more around the door frame to look at him. "Hey, I can cook! Carrots are boooring, though."

And she couldn't resist the grin again. "So, after the body bind could Tappy be your new apprentice? Through passion I gain strength and all that. What would he be, Darth Adorkable?"

After that, it seemed a good time to flee go change. Before he could throw anything at her.

Looking between Professors Trishna and Storm, the later donning a Darth Vader apron, a strange, uneasy grin settled on the Ravenclaw's face.  His gaze finally settled on Professor Trishna.  "Are you trying to tell me I have a - nevermind."  Sasha spotted Georgiana and quickly caught himself, shaking his head. 

Which was probably for the best.  Assuming Professor Storm was Star Wars-illiterate, the joke would be lost on him.  Asking about a twin sister would probably cause more unrest than the man needed. 

The offer to help didn't go unheard though both of the adults seemed to offer their own answer.  One option involved staying there and attempting to cook.  The other involved going and cleaning with Georgiana.  In whatever attire she opted to change into.  Knowing her, it may very well be worse as she attempted to seek retribution for being asked to change. 

Sasha moved over to the cutting board Professor Storm had relinquished and picked up a potato and the peeler.  He'd be happy to help with finding tables and chairs and all that once he had verification he wouldn't have to do so while avoiding looking at Georgiana.

"Merlin, does nobody teach their children to cook these days?"

Sheepishly, Sasha shrugged.  "I wasn't allowed to; we had staff."  Gender roles had been very clearly defined in his house. 

The Star Wars jokes seemed to be plentiful.  Sasha glanced up with a grin as Georgiana hurried from the kitchen.  "Does she give everyone nicknames?" he asked, turning back to the partially peeled potato.  It wasn't pretty, but it was getting done. 

"I wasn't allowed to; we had staff. Does she give everyone nicknames?"

Ignan shook his head, bewildered by both the statement and the question. He was both pleased and displeased Georgiana had been given instructions to change. It meant less flesh to stare at, in answer to both reasons.

"I've decided not to ask about the nicknames. There's enough for me at Hogwarts as it is without them being added to."

He paused, put a hand out over the top of Sasha's just out of the way of the peeler.
"Not so hard, we want some potato left after you're finished with that funny looking knife."

Having got the point across he spent a second watching Sasha prevail in his efforts, gave an approving nod that there was improvement and then returned to his own vegetable pile.

"I heard your nickname is 'Schlawkward', by the way." The older wizard's mouth had twisted into a smirk, suppressing a chuckle, "Can't help but think it fits some days."

“Better him than Oliver,” Tapendra said, matter of factly and with a sort of finality that meant he wasn’t joking. And he wasn’t – the slightly pained, taxed look he shot Ignan said that clearly enough. Oliver was a cute girl – one whose energy he found himself increasingly liking. But she had a remarkable ability to grab muggle technology and injure herself with it.

The Star Wars joking continued, and he found himself grinning for a second too – catching Sasha’s glance and unable to not think of the parallel. Oh dear – but it had been Ignan who yelled impossible, hadn’t it?

“Don’t be silly, Gigi!” he added with a raised voice, as he looked into the goose to make sure it was clean and then began to set up to stuff it. “I’d make a terrible Sith!” His tone quieted to a mumbling normal one as he held the goose in one hand and gathered his stuffing material with the other. “He’d have to have me killed for incompetence.” And he’d make a terrible Jedi, too. Overall, the Star Wars universe was one where he’d be rather dead.

Sasha chose to take up Ignan’s chore, though, and Tapendra hid his annoyance by directing the look of it at the goose. People always took the easy route even if it was swiftly crowding the kitchen beyond useable capacity. It got a bit of a disruption in his routine with just one other person, and with two…

The damn house had better be clean when Aileen and Abby turned up. He’d throw the vacuum at Ignan if he had to.
“When you have a name like hers,” Tapendra said, as he thunked the goose upright and precariously held it up with one hand as he pulled the bowl of stuffing towards him, “Nicknames are something of a given.”

The goose slipped and he cursed. “Sasha, can you come hold this damn thing?”

Being asked to change was hardly something Gigi was unused to, at home. And thus she managed it quickly, though with a lot of muttered grumbling.

"So, Schlawkward, tables and chairs or the vacuum?" As if Sasha knew how to manage either of them. Might be funny to watch. "Just try not to eat the rugs."

A smirk at Tappy, who seemed to be struggling with the goose again. "He couldn't kill you til you'd taught him the Sith Code and all that. Rule of two. Bet if you taught him the wrong thing he'd never notice." Sometime she'd have to figure out how to get Ignan in a Sith costume, now. "We could make you an awesome lightsaber."

"I've decided not to ask about the nicknames. There's enough for me at Hogwarts as it is without them being added to."

"So I've heard."  A grin flickered across the Ravenclaw's face and he dipped his head in a slight nod, even as he turned his attention to adjusting his potato peeling technique.  A slightly more technically demanding task than one might think, initially. 

It was no surprise that Professor Storm had heard 'Schlawkward' floating around the halls - some days, it seemed to be used more often than his actual given name.  "There are others," he admitted, glancing pointedly (regrettably) in Georgiana's direction before blushing and turning back.  "That one's the most ... congenial of them."  He really hoped Professor Storm wouldn't come across Schlagendong anytime soon. 

"Wait.  What are her nicknames?" Sasha asked, glancing between Professor Trishna and Georgiana. 

The Star Wars jokes continued and Sasha glanced up, grinning, resulting in a half-peeled, slipper potato freeing itself from his grasp and bouncing to the floor.  He quickly retrieved the wayward potato and took it to rinse off in the sink.  He glanced over at the dead goose in Professor Trishna's hand, wrinkling his nose slightly at the given task but complied.  Only after fetching two ziplock bags from the drawer to serve as gloves. 

“Don’t be silly, Gigi!  I’d make a terrible Sith! He’d have to have me killed for incompetence.”

"Besides, who'd want to have to put on all that black and red paint every morning?"  And, whatever those spikey head things had been. 

"And...why would you think I'd eat rugs?" Sasha asked, glancing over towards Georgiana.  He wasn't quite sure what, exactly, he was supposed to be doing - goose patrol, vacuum patrol or potato patrol.  "I'll do whatever," he offered, with a shrug.  Someone just needed to point him in the right direction.  And, he'd figure out whatever he was supposed to be doing.

"There are others, that one's the most ... congenial of them."

Ignan gave a quiet grunt of amusement as he continued to slice the vegetables beside Sasha. Sounded about right.

“Sasha, can you come hold this damn thing?”

"So, Schlawkward, tables and chairs or the vacuum? Just try not to eat the rugs."

Suddenly the kitchen dissolved into a strange conversation about 'Sith' and red paint. Ignan was entirely lost. 

"And…why would you think I'd eat rugs? I'll do whatever,"

Ignan looked round, and took one look at the scene. Much as he felt awkward for being in someone else's house, he hadn't left his teaching role back at Hogwarts.

Gesturing with the knife towards Sasha he began,
"You hold the goose, and then go and help her, and you," he gestured to Georgiana, "now you're dressed do as your brother asks, and he'll join you. We would like to eat today, rather than tomorrow."

“What makes you think I’d be teaching him?” He pointed at Ignan. “The man’s a born Sith, just look at him.”

Tapendra then looked at Sasha with some confusion over his remark about red facepaint. “Sith don’t wear a lot of facepaint unless they want to. If you mean Darth Maul, he’s a Zabrak. You know, an alien?”

He sagged with some relief at Ignan’s quick ordering of the children – said with far less nastiness than he likely would have said it, given how stressed he was starting to get. He had a schedule to keep and so far they were not helping with that, given half of the time in the kitchen so far had been spent with people working at cross purposes.

Tapendra looked at Sasha as the boy grabbed two plastic bags to cover his hands, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. They were going to eat the damn thing. It wasn’t like it had a lot of germs on it –

“Oh – look, I’ll hold, you shovel stuffing in,” he said with a sigh, gripping the sides of the opening in the goose and pulling them apart, gesturing with his shoulder to the bowl sat next to it. “You’re going to drop it if you hold it with those.” Bloody thing was slick enough without slippery plastic over his hands.

"He does have the dark side look down, yeah." Gigi nodded at Storm. "Think he can force lighting the goose til it's done?" Cause that'd be great for the kitchen.

Sasha, though, he'd failed both his geek and vacuum check. "Chairs it is. Don't let Sasha near the vacuum while I'm gone. Not cleaning up if he busts it." With that weird germophobing at the goose, it didn't seem like Schlawkward would be much use at all. Probably expected everything to be done by servants. Or house elves.

"Teach him the Sith code while I'm gone." She waved at Ignan and made a few deep, exaggerated breaths for effect. "How many chairs do we need again?" They already had a bloody convention in the place, she couldn't keep track.

She didn't wait for an answer though, ducking back out and taking loud steps towards the garage and the previously mentioned card table. Could get it whenever she got back.

With this many people, she'd be making a lot of chair trips.