Ophelia Grimlish
Hounslow, UK

Elijah Grimlish
Ravenclaw
Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

Dearest Eli,

I apologize for the short notice, but I may die tomorrow and my will has not yet been notarized (You know... Lawyers), so I wish to leave written proof of what you will be inheriting lest that happens. Just a formality really.

I wish to leave you my monkey skull teaset. Remember to clean the cups thoroughly after each use. You know how bacteria likes to lodge in the cranial sutures. If you hear the screams of monkeys in your dreams, don't worry, that is normal. Try storing them in an iron fortified box of consecrated dirt, worked for me.

Also, I leave Roldolfo in your care. You don't need to do much with him. Just a glass of formaldehyde daily (Add some sugar. 2 lumps raw, never processed. He gets quite testy) and let him listen to the political debates on the WWN in the evening. If he keeps you awake at night, just tighten the lip threads. He doesn't sleep, and hasn't in so long that I don't think he realizes that humans need to.

Now that the boring bit is over, How have you been? I hear that you may have been blessed with 'the Sight'. Don't let Rhia hear of this. She has been trying to induce her own sight for years now and hasn't had as much as a tingle. Sad really. How is school going?

Yours,
Ophelia

Elijah Grimlish
Ravenclaw Tower
Hogwarts

Ophelia Grimlish
Hounslow, UK

Auntie,

Please tell me this has nothing to do with that goblin from Crosshaven? I thought that we had decided to let that be one story that didn’t need to be shared. You remember what he said about Just be careful. Also, I don’t want that crazy shrunken head of yours, it’s batty and doesn’t like me overmuch. Give it to Evie; should you face an untimely demise, she’d care for it a bit better than I would.

As for the tea set, I’ve been looking for a new one anyway, and bone holds so much better than porcelain. Two of my mugs have chips in them and the pot merely wheezes instead of the shrill screech it used to give when it was new. I hope, however, that you do not perish anytime soon, because I fear that I couldn’t possibly face the holiday season without you. Christmas dinner would be unbelievably dull and I’m not sure that I’m ready to adorn mourning robes just yet.

As for school and the like, I’ve been made Divination Club President, I wasn’t aware if mum had told you or not. I’m also toying around with playing on the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team. I’m not all that good, but at least I’ve gotten better since that two on two game we played with those veela sisters that one time. Godric’s bones that was a mess. And as far as the supernatural goes, I’m not sure, and so I’d be really grateful if you could keep this one under your hat until I’m ready to tell the family?

It could just be that I’m going insane from being tired all the time. With midyear exams in full swing and the Yule Ball right around the corner, I’m afraid that it’s all too possible that I’m going as batty as a kneazle in a room full of pixies. I assume you heard from Evie, as she’s the only person I’ve told. I’ll have to have words with her, I asked her to keep it a secret, but I’m thrilled that you’re excited for me. I’ll be sure to keep you informed as things progress.

Enough about me, how are you? Holidays are right around the corner. I assume you’ll be at home (or perhaps even at King’s Cross) when Evie and I arrive for the break? That is, if you aren’t dead. Perhaps we can catch up then!

Please give my love to the family.

All my love,
Elijah

P.S. - Could you please have mum take a look over Vlad? I think he might have eaten one too many crisps in the past couple days. He seems lethargic and bloated. Not to mention as grumpy as a kappa out of water. Thanks!