Gently, Sasha turned his hand over, interlacing Abby's fingers with his own.  The fire had, finally, chased much of the chill to the corners of the room and every once in a while the piano behind them creaked as the warmth expanded the wood and loosened the strings. 

"I don't expect it to," Sasha admitted, quietly.  He didn't expect it to go away though, admittedly, much of the time he tried to believe that if he ignored it enough, it would. 

The delivery was very different but so much of what Abby was saying matched what Professor Trishna had.  Enough so it was getting progressively harder to dismiss it as the opposing perspectives of two men different enough that they'd simply never see eye to eye. 

But, just like with Professor Trishna, if Sasha started to truly believe and accept what they were saying at face value then ...

Then reality would suddenly become far more daunting and terrifying than it already was.

"No.  I don't think you did," Sasha confirmed, looking at Abby.  Sasha could be painfully naive sometimes but even he wasn't foolish enough to believe this was an aptly timed change of subject.  "How did a runespoor get into your house?"

"Somebody snuck it into the house when I was out for a walk, and Aileen wasn't home." The Aurors had thought that's what had happened. "It was huge! Well, not really. It was small for a runespoor - five feet or so."

"Anyway, I was dancing around my room, right? And singing. Because I do that. And then suddenly, I hear my crup growl. And I'm like Roxy calm down! The song isn't that bad! She's running around the bed making that sound between a growl and bark, and then I hear a hiss! So I look under my bed and guess what!"

Abby paused dramatically. "Runespoor!"

She gestured with her other hand as she talked. "I scream, and I run down the hall, and I take Roxy with me because I don't want her to get bitten. Somehow, I think to run to the little owlery room, and I shut the door, and then I sent a note to Trevelyan. Then Trevelyan and hunky Auror-" Abby paused, glanced at Sasha. "Did I say that? I meant Eleor. Well, they both come and save the day and are totally badass, and at the end of it I gave Trevelyan bandages with lightning bolts on them because he got bit during the craziness. He wasn't even mad about it! And I got Auror Eleor's phone number out of it! For emergencies, of course."

She grinned. Then hesitated. There was a point to her story. Wasn't there?

"It was actually really scary. The runespoor chasing after me," she nodded. "And it happened because my older brother was involved in all that runespoor smuggling business. During his trial - this was in May, they wanted to send him a message so that he'd stop spilling the beans, so to speak. He sent his wife and kids out of the country so I guess they thought they'd target his sisters. Which only really works if he cares," Abby added with a touch of annoyance.

"But what he did affected everyone in my family. And anyone involved in the Runespoor stuff. He didn't even kill anyone." As far as she knew! "He just signed a bunch of papers that let dangerous creatures in and explosive ingredients and other bad stuff. I didn't even do anything. Obviously! But because I was connected to him, they thought they could threaten me and make him keep quiet that way."

Abby paused, "There wasn't anything I could do about it, except deal with it, because he's family. You can't change family. You can't choose your grandparents," she looked him in the eye. "But Malvivicus? He's only pretending to be your father. It doesn't make sense to stand by him when you know what he's done. You can still get hurt too, just by being close to him."

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I really don't want you to get hurt."

"You were chased by a runespoor?" 

Sasha looked at Abby, shaking his head.  "That must have been terrifying.  And, they just captured it and took it away?"  Runespoor trapping.  Sasha tried to picture Aurors and Abby running around the house after a three-headed snake and shook his head.  "That must have been chaotic." 

"All because of your brother?" 

It was obvious what she was implying, even before she spelled it out.  Sasha rubbed his face with his free hand, nodding slightly when she squeezed his hand.  That was another of those details Sasha did his best to ignore.  It was so much easier to convince himself that Kronos was, in himself, a shield of sorts.  A powerful, invisible body guard of sorts that had made Sasha feel safer rather than the more realistic alternative. 

"Everyone's just pretending to be my father.  Or, pretending not to."  Sasha muttered, shaking his head.  Which, of course, was beside the point.  Sasha knew that. 

"I know.  He's teaching me to protect myself.  Helping me practice and I know he'd do anything he could to keep me from getting hurt.  This isn't like your brother.  He does care what happens.  But, I know ..."  It wasn't without risk.  But, life when he'd kept Kronos at a distance hadn't been without risk, either.

Again, Sasha rubbed his face.   "He's done so much for me, and believes in me they way others don't.  I ... I know it's not ideal.  I'd give anything to have a father who was proud and who I didn't have to hide.  But, there's that old cliché, right?  Beggars can't be choosers.  He's willing - he's proud to see me as his son.  Sometimes, I think he needs me just as I need him.  I know he loves me in his own, weird, strange way.  To betray him?  To ..." 

Sasha shook his head.  "Everyone seems to assume I'm safer if I turn my back and walk away.  But, we don't really know if that's true, do we?"

She shook her head when he wondered if they’d trapped the runespoor. “Trevelyan killed it. Or was it Eleor? There was like, lots of stomping and blowing things up. It was pretty epic even as it was terrifying. I didn’t actually see most of it, just the remains.” Abby wrinkled her nose. Smelly, yucky runespoor remains.

His explanation sounded strange to her with the way he saw Malvivicus as his only option. That didn't seem like love. Abby couldn’t tell if he was admitting that the act of walking away was dangerous in itself, or if he wasn’t convinced that walking away would be safer.

“Maybe not,” she thought out loud. Not if Kronos retaliated, or if he was really keeping Sasha safe from something. “But later, would you be safer? Yeah. I think so anyway. You wouldn’t have to question or doubt or wonder about his nefarious activities.”

She tried to inject her usual joking tone at the end, but it fell flat. Something he’d said was starting to sink in, and Abby wasn’t even catching half of the worrisome implications. It was all too much, all at once. But she was trying.

“Unless safety is worth all of this to you?” Abby looked confused. “When you say defend yourself, is he… teaching you to hurt people?”

The flames in the fireplace were dying back, reducing the load of wood to a pile of glowing embers.  Every once in a while, a tendril of a flame broke free and danced up, caught a draft and flickered away.  It was a silent, hypnotic cycle and Sasha sat in silence, watching their soundless dance. 

Later?  It hadn't occurred to him until Abby said it but 'later' was just something he didn't ponder much.  He had goals, certainly - especially academically.  But, he still didn't really think about the future beyond a theoretical road map.  The 'later' only existed so much as to give some direction to the very next decision.  The very next action.  And, more often the decision was simple and consistent.  Study. 

When, exactly, had that changed?  When did he stop seeing himself in that future?  That question was, at the same time, simple and impossible to answer.  It was about the time he stopped recognizing himself. 

"I ... I don't know," Sasha admitted, shaking his head.  "I don't know what to do." 

Was the safety worth it?  "He hasn't asked or told me to hurt anyone," Sasha said, firmly.  "Not unless, like that night, I don't have any choice.  And, I wouldn't.  He knows that.  But, I ... I can't loose anyone else."  And, however much others might not understand, that included him.  "Right now, everything seems so precariously balanced but everyone wants their own thing.  If things change..." 

Sasha took a deep breath and looked away from the fire, down at her hand, still on his.  It killed him to say so but, ultimately, this was why he'd chosen to tell her, right?  "Look, I ... if this changes things, I'd understand." 

Would he hurt someone if Malvivicus asked him to? Abby looked more and more concerned. She glanced down at their hands, following his train of thought.

"I don't want it to. Change things."

Abby spoke honestly, but a thread of hesitation laced her voice. She wanted to tell him that she would always be his best friend, no matter what happened, that he'd always be able to count on her. She wanted that certainty for herself, too. Abby only thought about her future a few months or so in advance now, and a year ago she'd simply reacted to the things and events around her - doing what she was told or not doing what she was told. She'd been 17 since October. Technically free to make adult decisions. She didn't feel ready for them, to decide what needed to be decided about her future.

But she knew enough about herself to understand she couldn't handle Sasha's problem on her own.

Abby gave his hand a light squeeze and asked, "Does anyone know about this besides me and Professor Tappy?"

Slowly, Sasha nodded his head, closing his eyes.  He didn't want things to change; he couldn't even imagine Abby not being there.  But, the circumstances were what they were.  He knew he would have to accept it if that's what she chose. 

"No," Sasha admitted, shaking his head.  "Other than, you know, his employees.  Obviously, they know."  Which probably didn't help.

Sasha shifted in his spot, turning to face Abby a little more directly.  "I can't tell my sister; she'd react worse than Professor Trishna.  I've thought about telling Raine but, I'm not sure that's a good idea.  I don't want to burden anyone - I knew I had to tell you.  But, I trust you.  Professor Trishna is trying to help.  I suppose it's possible he might have told someone - Professor Storm, maybe." 

It was all quite a mess and maybe maintaining the status quo was a naive pipe dream. 

Abby nodded, glad he'd told her, but finding it strange that he didn’t want to tell his own sister. Maybe that said something. Maybe he trusted her, but also thought she wouldn’t be as critical as Jacoba or other adults he knew.

“If I don’t say anything to my sister, she is going to flip,” Abby shook her head, conflicted. They’d come to a shaky agreement to communicate with each other better, back when all the secrets had caused the cursed dagger issue to blow up in their faces, and again when Trevor was arrested. Abby’s natural inclination was to lie to adults about anything questionable or worrisome in her life. But in this case, she almost wanted someone like her sister to tell her what to do.

“She finds out about these things eventually, things I don’t tell her. I don’t know, Sasha. I wouldn’t tell anybody else. But I can’t promise I won’t tell her at some point.”

Abby looked at him, worried he’d be mad. “She doesn’t like Aurors,” she added helpfully.

Abby tell her sister?  Which meant, Professor Reid.  For whatever reason, Professor Reid finding out seemed so much more daunting than Professor Trishna finding out.  Abby was right that Professor Reid would likely flip if she found out after the fact but he wasn't entirely convinced she wasn't going to flip out if she found out right away, either. 

"You shouldn't have to lie or hide it from her," Sasha concluded, shaking his head.  "That's ... that kind of thing's best avoided, if possible."  Lying, hiding stuff like that had a way of eating at people.  Involving Abby in any of this in the first place seemed wrong; expecting her to keep it hidden would only make it worse. 

"It should probably be me that tells her," Sasha admitted, frowning slightly.  Part of it was stubborn chivalry.  No sense in her taking the bad reaction of a decision that wasn't her own. 

Beyond that, though, just in case he was wrong - just in case he was misjudging the situation - if there was going to be any fallout from word traveling further, he alone needed to be responsible for it. 

"If you want to!" The relief and surprise on Abby's face was clear. It was sweet of him to offer. Then she stopped and thought about it.

Would it really be better if Aileen heard it from Sasha? Heard just how confused and conflicted he was, faced it directly from the source? Abby didn't see Aileen handling the news well that way. The more emotional someone was, the more her sister tended to distrust their decisions and state of mind. And when that happened, if she cared enough, she simply took over and made decisions for them. As Abby could attest to!

"You don't have to right away." Abby was good at stalling. "After the Yule Ball."

She donned one of Sasha's sheepish grins, feeling like he'd understand her reasoning.

Sasha understood the reasoning, entirely, though taking that into consideration did not make the prospects of telling Professor Reid any more exciting.  With any luck, he'd get out of the conversation without being flayed.  That, right now, was about the most he was hoping for. 

Not flayed.  And, not banned from seeing Abby.  Even if that happened, though - even if that were the outcome, Sasha knew he wouldn't regret telling her.  He had to tell her.  He'd avoided it longer than he should have.

The Ravenclaw shivered and shook his head.  Looking down at the bag of candy, he donned his own usual sheepish grin.  "That's it.  No other major confessions.  Just-"  Just, two fathers and a dead Slytherin. 

"I'm sorry.  I know it's all kind of complicated.  I don't know exactly when it got all messed up.  And, confusing." 

"What? Are you sure? I'm waiting for something major, Sasha," Abby tried to revert to her usual teasing of him, matching his smile, though inwardly she worried. She'd worry for quite some time.

"It's ok," she paused. "It will be ok. We'll get things sorted, right? I am glad you told me," she said sincerely. Abby would have felt very thrown if she'd found out much later down the line.

"I want to help. You don't have to figure it out alone."

Looking at him for a long moment, she hoped he would see that in enough time to be able to get away from Malvivicus for good.

Sasha grinned back and shrugged, nodding his head.  "Ja.  I'm sure.  I think I've got about all I can handle."  If he could truthfully say he was handling it.  There were some who might suggest that the Necromancy attempt was a sign he was not handling it well. 

But, that was somewhat oversimplifying it. 

"Thank you," Sasha offered, looking back towards the fire.  What 'figuring it out' meant, only time would tell.  Sasha knew what Abby and Professor Trishna thought of Kronos but he also knew their perspectives were tainted by what had been written in the Prophet.  They didn't know the man and they certainly had no reason to believe that the man's concern for Sasha was genuine and real. 

With a slight sigh, Sasha retrieved a piece of pineapple from the bag again and peeled off a small piece, letting the conversation turn to Yule Balls, holiday plans and over, more festive, topics.