Mark rolled over in the early morning, his head aching. He opened his eyes, suprised at being at James's apartment. He sat up quickly, and looked around. "What the hell?" He said, getting up from the couch, getting quite dizzy, and sitting back down. What happened last night? He wondered, before stumbling around his friend's apartment.

Mark found his way into the kitchen, and figured he'd make something like James did. Except Mark wasn't that skilled. So, he settled on eggs. He stumbled back into the living room, and over to the pull out couch. He fixed it, putting the couch back into a couch. He smelt a burning smell, and rushed back into the kitchen. The frying pan was engulfed in a fire. "OH SHITE!" Mark shouted, hunting around for his wand. He ran to the couch, where he found it wedged between two couch cushions.

He sprinted back to the fire, casting aguamenti at the fire, dousing the flames. They went out, but now the apartment smelled like burned food.

There was no way James could sleep through that.

James had woken up at the crack of dawn to drop off his budget plan to his boss. He had come back home at 5:00, too early to make breakfast. When the smell of smoke wafted into his nose, Tina[1] was no longer in bed besides him and he jumped out of bed in his boxers. He slid across the floor and into his living room, black smoke covered his field of vision. He coughed and walked towards the stove. Water was all over the floor.

"Mark! Mark! Where did you go?" He could barely see through the smoke and he shuffled through the water, being careful not to slip.

1.	She's okay with Mark staying, just until he can back on his feet.

Mark slithered through the smoke on the ground. Always stay low. "James! Down here!" He said, loudly, trying to swat away the smoke. This decent attempt at being sweet and kind, ended terribly. "It's okay! Just a little smoke!" He shouted, crawling into his leg. "Sorry!" He said, after realizing it was James.

"Just open a window!" He said, "Let all the smoke out!"

James opened all of the windows in his kitchen. The smoke cleared out. Jim looked down at Mark who was crawling on the floor flooded by water. "Good Morning James! Would you like lung cancer for breakfast?" Jim said, reaching a hand down to help Mark up. "Whata-whatcha doin?" Jim said, his right eye twitching. He would have to clean all of this up. He saw the carton of eggs on the counter and the blackened pan on the burner, which he switched off.

"What were you making? A black death egg potion?"

James helped Mark up, and he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, buddy. When you were drunk at my house, you tried to make a soufflé and you pulled it off. I thought  I could do the same. Only, well, with eggs. I was trying to fix your couch, and forgot the eggs, they caught on fire, and I put them out, but then there was a lot of smoke."

"I'm really sorry, James. I'll buy you a new pan and everything, man." He put a hand to his head. "Ugh. I hate hangovers." He smiled once more, and then looked at James. "What even happened last night?"

"Don't worry about the pan, it's fine, thanks for trying anyways." Jim said grabbing a mop from the bathroom closet. He started mopping up the water.

"You fell asleep at like, 5 and you slept like a rock after you drank an entire bottle of firewhiskey, ran out of the apartment, ran into the nearest bar, picked up some random chick went into the handicapped bathroom... after that, you can tell me.... You eventually came back out with your pants dragging on the ground and started crying about Julie. The chick freaked out that you had a girlfriend and slapped you. I had to throw you over my shoulder to get you out of there. You pissed on a street lamp and bit an old woman when she told you to mind your manners. So.. yeah, that about sums up last night..."

James squeezed the mop out over the sink and continued to mop.

"Tina came home and she said you're welcome to stay, just until you can get back on your feet. So, what are we gonna do today?" Jim said, nonchalantly, silently snickering to himself about how badly Mark would freak out. After being able to breath again, Jim tossed the egg pan into the sink and pulled out his wand to clean up the rest of the water. "I have to get some groceries, you can come if you'd like?" Jim went into his room to pull on a pair of pants and a T-shirt. When he came back in he put another pan on the stove and cracked a few eggs into the pan.

"Wait, what? I drank an entire bottle of firewhisky?" Mark put a hand to his face. Mark heard the rest of the story. "I did WHAT? No. Nope. No. I did not sleep with anyone. Nope. No. I do not accept that as a fact. No. Nope." He shook his head violently. "And I just, oh god. I'm done for." He put his head in his hands.

"That also explains why I feel like I got hit by a bus." Mark watched as James retreated to his bedroom, and said, "Dude, I gotta get home to Julie, she's probably," His face fell. He wouldn't be hurrying home to Julie. Julie left him. He felt tears start to form. "I- i, I think i'm going to go. And do something." He'd probably drink himself silly. Mark started for the door.

Jim dropped his spatula and ran to Mark grabbing him by the waist. "I was joking I was joking I was joking I was joking!!!!" James said pulling Hunter away from the door and throwing him onto the pull out mattress. "You did drink an entire bottle of firewhiskey, but we didn't do any of the things I said. We did apparate into a meadow and ride brooms like the drunkies we were, and you wanted to blow up Gringotts, that was the alcohol talking , not you."

James crouched down by the mattress, "You were just getting your jollies, nothing like, happened, happened, you know what I mean, I was just messing with you. And.. what is that? Is that a tear? MEN DON'T- ah, I don't care, just cry it out." James climbed up onto the fold out couch. "I gotta very comfortable shoulder right here..." He said, patting his shoulder. "That you can use after I flip my eggs!" Jim jumped up from the couch and ran into the kitchen, flipping the eggs onto plates.

"Okay, here you go." James put a fork and two over medium eggs on a plate in front of Mark. "eggs and a shoulder a la Jimmy"

Mark wiped his eyes. "Sorry buddy, no appetite. I'm just fine. I, I just wanna go drink myself into oblivion." Mark got up from the couch. "I'll see you later, James. Okay? Thanks for guiding me home last night. I needed it." He headed towards the door. "Seriously. You're a great friend."

Mark slipped on his shoes and started to walk out.

"Yes, well, great friends don't let sad friends drink themselves into oblivion with other not-friends, so, I must bestow upon you my most favorite drink that we will drink here and we will make merry." James turned Mark around by the shoulders and led him to the bar in the kitchen. "Take a seat son." Jim dug into his ice box and pulled his secret stash. Jim put it under his shirt and crouched behind the bar, not to let Mark see what he had.

He pulled the straws out of their wrappers and poked them through the aluminum hole and reached up and put it on the counter, standing up and sipping his Juicy-Juice. "The drink of champions." Jim said, turning the clear straw towards his mouth so he could chew on it as he slurped.

"I gotta six pack, so theres more where that came from."

"Is there alcohol in it?" He asked, as he took one, and started to drink it. Not spiked in the least bit. "Nope." He put it back down, smiling at his friend. For once, he didn't feel like the lamest of the two. "Look, this is fun, and all, but I really just want to just, just, DIE." He said, upset.

Mark stood up, going to the door, once again. He wanted to drink himself silly. Was that so much to ask for?

"NO!" James slammed his fist on the bar and parkour jumped over the counter. "You do not just LEAVE a two sipped JUICY-JUICE on the counter! You do not LEAVE this APARTMENT until YOU FINISH THAT JUICE!" Jim screeched, grabbing Mark's juicebox from the counter and pushing it into Mark's face. He looked down at Mark's pocket, then grabbed his wand and wallet.

"Ha! How are you gonna leave without your wand, you're not, because I'll chase you! How you gonna pay for drinks when you have no wallet? You're not! Because I have it! So finish the damn JUICE and YOU CAN HAVE THEM BAAAAACK!" James held the wand and wallet away from Mark so Hunter couldn't get it.

"Juice first, then booze."

"James, I'm not playing anymore. Give me my stuff back." He demanded. Mark tried to take his stuff back, but James held them out of reach. "James! James! COME ON! GIVE ME MY STUFF!" Mark yelled, getting frustrated. He was jumping, trying to reach his things.

Mark gave a frustrated look, as he took the juice box, slurping it down. God. There was a lot of juice in those little boxes! He finished it, then handed it back to James, with an upset look. "There. Happy? Give me back my stuff."

"Ummm... No." Jim said, letting Mark's empty juice box clatter to the wooden floor. Jim bolted down the hallway and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. James used a shrinking spell and made Mark's things the size that a Barbie Doll would use and tucked them into an unused toilet paper roll, tucking it into the two dozen identical toilet tisse rolls in the bathroom cupboard under the sink.

Jim flushed the toilet, just to freak Mark out, then unlocked the door and came out. "Can I help you?" He said to ared faced Mark.[1]

1.	At least, I assume he is red-faced, he wand and wallet just got "flushed" down the toilet..

"JAMES! JAMES, NO! NO! PLEASE!" Mark pleaded, banging on the bathroom door. He heard the toilet flush, and he slid down the wall, his hands in his hair.

"Can I help you?"

Mark was about to boil over, as he charged into the bathroom, and looked in the toilet bowl. It was empty. He whipped his head around, and looked at James. "What I'm about to do is your fault." He said, as Mark jammed his hand down the pipe of the toilet. He figured they may have gotten stuck. But no, the pipe was empty as well.

He went to pull his hand back, but it wouldn't budge. "James? Oh my god, James? My arm is stuck. James! My arm is stuck in your toilet!"