Mairead glanced between the Bird and the Auror, tearing a small piece of bread and munching on it.  Compared to the rest of the day, this was a rather entertaining turn of events.  Especially with the Bird's personal form of attempting to help.  Mairead didn't bother with any such pretense.  She had no desire to help the Auror but that was probably quite evident by now. 

After munching another bite of roll and nudging the puffskein back towards the center of the step, Mairead shrugged.  "Once, me and m'friend were off sneakin a chicken from this old guy's yard.  The hen didn't wanna come with and me dog set to chasin' it.  The thing ran at the chain fence and got its head stuck in the wires.  It started squawkin' and carrying on - we was certain it'd wake the man up and we'd get caught." 

Of course, none of this actually happened.  Mairead was making the whole thing up.  From bits and pieces of true stories with added flare to fit the scenario.

"I tried to tug the dumb thing out but then the lights went on in the house.  We almost got caught, too, 'cept Jarlath hacked the chicken's head off and we grabbed the thing and ran."  Nonchalantly, Mairead munched another piece of bread. 

Sasha should know by now that most of his good intentions backfired.  Often badly.  And, given the looks the man was giving him, this was no exception.  Color flared on the Ravenclaw's cheeks when the man's eyes widened and he averted his gaze.  He was half tempted to turn and walk away but doing so would leave the man alone with the Gryffindor. 

And, there was no telling what the girl would actually do.  If her little tale was any indication...

Sasha turned back towards the Gryffindor.  "Will you just ... go away!"  Sasha snapped at the Gryffindor after she finished her story.  The girl just smirked then pursed her lips in apparent consideration before shaking her head.  If Sasha weren't riding such a thin line already, he might have tried to do more to chase the girl away. 

“Hogwarts is really failin’ you ‘ent it?”

Color flooded Sasha's face again and he quickly shook his head.  "I ... no.  I mean, I'm not ... I have twelve O.W.Ls.  And, all are Outstanding but ... nevermind." 

Okay.  So, butter was a bad idea.  And, either the man didn't know if magic could be used on the stairs or he hadn't bothered to answer.  And, it wasn't like he had access to a saw so the number of options that didn't use magic seemed to be dwindling fast.   "Alright, alright," Sasha offered for his own sake as much as anyone else's. 

Sasha tugged the purple-hued wand from his robes and considered his options.  He had no idea what would work on the stairs but, despite their tendency to move, they were still wood, right?  If he just made one of the banister posts pliable, that would be all they'd need.  Then, they could put it back.  He could remember a handful of spells he'd been taught to escape various entrapments - especially mechanical ones.  Though he couldn't remember where he'd learned each individual one - whether from Mr. Morgan, Kronos or in class.  Sasha lifted the chimera-core wand and pointed it at one of the railing posts.  "Rigimalacatum[1]."  A soft grey light engulfed the railing before dying away, slowly. [2]

1.	Rigimalacatum - literally, rigid to pliable - for making physical barriers soft and maliable
2.	Feel free to decide the actual effects/what it hits/etc!

Commotion, chaos, ruckus… all words to describe the bustling halls of Hogwarts between classes, and today would undoubtedly be no different. Actually, with the influx of students, the halls seemed to not only be lively, but dangerous as well. One school dissatisfied with another’s scores in recent tasks could be a very bad idea, so the halls of Hogwarts had rather effectively been transformed into a war zone. The headmistress had taken to pacing the halls of the second floor between classes, just to ensure things didn’t get too violent.

After Pratt had left her office, Minerva spent the next few minutes preparing correspondence for Madam Harker and the Board of Governors, alerting them to the new measures of security discussed in their meeting. McGonagall hadn’t seen any need to add extra security, after all, where had the auror team been during the battle that decided Hogwarts’ fate against the Dark Lord? However, even she had no desire to offend the dark wizard catchers, and so she had conceded to a light security force, there as guests and not in those garish robes, poking their wands where totally unnecessary.

After the letters had been sent off, Minerva made her way down the revolving staircase and out unto the corridor proper. Thankfully all was quiet in the halls, that is, until it wasn’t.

“REID YOU STUPID HAG! COME BACK! YOU'RE A DEAD WOMAN!”

Surely that was the voice of a grown man, no? Nostrils flared in irritation, Minerva made her way toward the noise slowly, getting her own frustration in check. Worse than the students had been the dissention in staff, and it was starting to get under Minerva’s cool demeanor. By the time she made it to the staircase in question, Minerva needed to place a hand over her mouth for a moment to hide the small grin that formed without her approval.

That smile was quickly replaced by a grimace as she watched Sasha pull a wand and tried magicking the stair to do what he wanted. In a swift movement, Minerva pulled her wand and firmly stated, “Finite!” And scurried down to where the three were huddled together. “Mr. Schlagenweit, surely you understand the dangers of casting magic on a magical item? If you don’t know the limits of the magics placed upon the article, it’s very dangerous to try and charm it. For example, had your spell taken effect, it’s quite possible that the stair would’ve completely dissipated and this poor auror, so desperately in need of our help, would have taken a nasty fall.” At this, Minerva finally met eyes with the auror.

“And Mr. Pratt, you wouldn’t have seen anyone running past, yelling obscenities about our Runes professor, would you?” She asked, eyes flashing. It was one thing for one professor to yell about another, but completely different for an outsider, even one that knew Reid personally, to come into the sacred halls of her beloved school and start throwing insults. "And you, Miss ó Fearghail, shouldn't you be on your way to... well to somewhere?"

Ed wasn’t sure which way was best to look. In one direction there was the young girl about Noah’s age telling him some ludicrous story about a decapitated chicken while simultaneously masticating while the other older kid thought butter would get him out of such a spot. It really was true, Hogwarts had failed both of these dim witted children and Eddie was quite happy to blame their stupidity on Ailment Reid. She could definitely have been the cause.

And the stupidity of these kids could have been the least of Eddie’s problems if the boy hadn’t have pulled out his wand and started a dictate a spell. Ed’s eyes widened and his hands flew up to take hold of the bannisters, sealing a vice like grip around the wood.

“No no no stop that kid…”

“Finite!”

The auror let out the breath he hadn’t realised he was suddenly holding and looked up to see the Headmistress of Hogwarts and his former transfiguration professor standing before him, feet comfortably planted on top of the stairs like any normal person’s would have been. Suddenly Edward felt like he was back in school again answering to the head of Gryffindor house after he’d performed some gross misconduct.

“In other words, kid. Ye’d have killed an auror.” Ed stated in addition to MacGonagall’s reprimand of the young Mr Shlalam.

The yelling at Reid was called into question and Ed frowned for a moment, considering his options as his eyes scanned the old witch’s face.
“That, Madam Headmistress, happened to be myself. Excluding the running. Help me out of this step or just summon my wand for me and I’ll give ye a bloody good reason why, Ma’am.” It was near impossible to remain his previously professional self while in such a predicament.

Oh, this was just getting better and better, wasn't it?  Mairead couldn't have asked for a better show if someone had gone and dropped a movie screen into the Great Hall.  Mairead could think of any number of ways to make the whole affair more fun.  Finding a few nifflers and dropping a handful of glitter over the staircase.  "Accidentally" trip the next person that came down the stairs.  Where was Peeves when you really needed him? 

But, added antics were almost completely unnecessary.  The lot of them were managing to recreate a scene from the Three Stooges well enough without it. 

The Gryffindor grinned, eagerly, when the Bird pulled his wand but let out a long sigh of disappointment when the Headmistress intervened.  Mairead knew better than to actually say anything fully incriminating in front of the woman, but that didn't mean she was above answering questions with wonderfully accurate and self-fulfilling answers. 

"Aye, no.  I don't."  Mairead answered the woman with a voice that was a bit too sing-song to be taken as wholly polite.  "Me classes are done for the day.  Got nowhere to be until curfew.  Want to make sure that Bird don't kill no one else." 

Mairead finished the lunch roll and shuffled the puffskein back in her pocket.  "I can help, though.  Need me to tug his feet?"

As the Headmistress approached, the spell died mid-cast.  Color flooded the Ravenclaw's face and he quickly dropped his wand and stowed it back in his robes.  Yes, he did understand the potential dangers but ... but, that was why he asked!  That's why he'd asked the man for information.  If the man was stupid and arrogant enough not to answer or provide other recommendations then, well, ...

Sasha couldn't bring himself to think ill enough about the man to try to justify the near mistake.  Even if he was quickly growing to dislike the man.  At least, they weren't on the seventh floor. 

“In other words, kid. Ye’d have killed an auror.”

Besides.  The Auror could scoff and be condescending all he wanted.  "I'm not the one with my head stuck in a staircase."  Sasha hadn't intended to say that bit aloud.  Especially in front of the Headmistress.  But, there was some truth to it.  They might not have covered What Spells To Use on the Castle, yet, but he was still the one standing upright. 

"He was threatening and defaming our Professor, ma'am," Sasha confirmed, despite the man's own confession.  Given the whole school probably heard, it was probably not old news to the Headmistress.  "It was inappropriate.  She," Sasha gestured towards the second year, "was already here, so I wasn't about to leave them.  I tried to ask for advice but he just continued to be rude and unhelpful." 

Perhaps, in hindsight, Sasha should have just left the Auror to the Gryffindor.  Given what he'd said, he would have deserved it.

Minerva looked from one person to the next, much like a cat following a goldfish inside an aquarium. Her eyes tried to take in the scene around her, now that the Ravenclaw’s spell was taken care of and the immediate danger was past. Minerva wanted to ask the man why he had been standing on the step when it decided to vanish. When walking down stairs, one usually doesn’t have both feet upon the same step, so it was a rather curious situation in which she found the man, though it seemed like freeing him might be a bit more pressing than asking trivial questions.

At the energetic little lioness’s comment, Minerva had to try hard not to smile. She had taught many students with that attitude; it was something she admired in the Gryffindors, that spunk that no one else seemed to be able to duplicate. Though she truly hoped Mairead could refine that skill before graduating, or before she got into too much trouble. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” Minerva said, and was tempted to add that she didn’t think that the stumpy little girl would have been able to reach his feet from below, but thought better of speaking it aloud.

“Though perhaps you might be of service,” She paused, turning slightly to Sasha. “I think you’ll find, Mr. Schlagenweit, that most of the members of the auror force are rude and condescending. Though it’s a noble profession and if either of you should choose it as a career, you’ll have my full support.” She smiled down to the man halfway buried in the stair, “I should think that we’d be alright casting a spell on the stair that it’s already used to, just to speed up the process, yes?” Minerva was, of course, talking of vanishing the step. “Logically, magics already used on the stair shouldn’t create any unwanted effects, correct? Mr. Schlagenweit, you know the vanishing spell, would you mind assisting me in helping our guest?”

It seemed that Minerva was asking quite a lot of questions, even though most were rhetorical. It would probably be rather scary for the defenseless auror, always in control, to have to trust his life to a school boy and girl, and an old woman. “On the count of three, you vanish the stair, and I’ll levitate Mr. Pratt to the level, how does that sound to everyone?”

"I'm not the one with my head stuck in a staircase."

The kid was blind too! Ed continued to stare up at him, now ignoring the presence of his former professor as he silently hoped this kid would never apply to be an auror. With his smarts their comrades wouldn’t last long. Part of Ed wanted to bite back, pointing out a lot more than his head was stuck but he resisted the urge. This was a teenaged boy and Edward was a grown man, trained auror and father. He could be mature and professional when he needed to be. Being a prat, as so many enjoyed calling him, could be saved for the rest of the time.

Besides, Mr Shalem continued talking crap and Eddie’s brows lifted. He continued to be rude did he? All Ed had simply done was question the education the kid was getting considering he’d suggested smothering the auror in butter to help him out of a magically cursed staircase. Right then Eddie wanted this german kid as far away as possible. Eddie valued his life.

MacGongall continued to call every auror rude and condescending and Pratt’s brows rose. Ed was arrogant and he’d admit that. But he would also have pointed out that arrogance was perfectly acceptable when one knew they were the best. Aurors could afford be arrogant because most of the time, they could out duel or simply arrest anyone with a problem. That made them very powerful wizards.

“On the count of three, you vanish the stair, and I’ll levitate Mr. Pratt to the level, how does that sound to everyone?”

“Bad!” Pratt jumped in, eyes wide. “No way am I trusting a kid that suggested buttering me up to perform a spell on the step presently stoppin’ me from fallin’ to me death, luv. You can vanish the step and I’ll haul myself up.” The green gaze glanced over the kids before he watched the Headmistress again.

“Do it slowly. Lente evanescant should do just fine.” He suggested as his hands once more rose and he gripped the banister tightly, ready to hold on.

Only a sentence into the Headmistress' educational lecture and Mairead was already bored.  Her mind started to drift towards the only other source of entertainment on the staircase.  While the Bird and the Headmistress busied themselves, Mairead leaned over and rested her elbows on her knees, grinning at the man. 

"Bet it's a bit awkward, yea?"  Mairead said, conversationally.  She nodded towards the step.  "I mean, can't be comfortable.  What with the wood bein' all worn and stuff.  So, why'd ye say that?  About Ms. Uptight.  Did she do somethin'?  Did she cheat on ye or somethin'?  I mean, me uncle only yells at birds when they've been out visiting.  If ye know what I mean.  I mean, it'd be quite the-" 

That.  Was.  A.  Brilliant.  Thought.  Of course, it would be fantastic gossip!  Fantastic enough, even, to have monetary value.  Didn't newspapers pay out big for these kinds of things?  And, if Mairead had learned one thing growing up, it was to never pass up a potential blackm business opportunity.  Even if he didn't offer any information, didn't those fun tabloids love making stories off of whatever pictures they could get!  A picture of this might even be enough to get her a decent dress for the Yule Ball.  Even better, more candy than she could eat over the whole holiday! 

Or, the Auror bloke could buy the picture from her for his own protection.  Mairead was willing to consider any reasonable deal. 

Mairead rummaged in her bag for the little disposable film camera her mother had sent her off at the start of the school with.  The Gryffindor scrambled to her feet to find the best angle and snapped a few extra for good measure. 

Sasha was starting to understand why Kronos disliked Aurors so much.  Despite the obvious challenges of the dynamics between fugitives and Aurors, of course.  They were arrogant and crass and lacked any sense of tact and propriety.  He'd been on the receiving end of their questioning and inquiries before - had even visited their drab interview rooms - and that had done little to foster faith in this apparent 'noble profession.'  Perhaps, a few propriety lessons would be helpful for them.  Especially in the area of convincing people to share information.

The Ravenclaw had been watching the Auror as he listened to Professor McGonagall.  Slowly, the boy shook his head.  The idea of him becoming an Auror was almost laughable.  Not only because he could only imagine Kronos' disapproval.  Sasha believed Kronos was supportive of him finding his own path in life but there were bound to be limits.  Of course, that was hardly an explanation he could provide publicly.  So, the Ravenclaw simply nodded when the Headmistress spelled out the plan. 

"I can handle that," Sasha said, nodding his head as he blatantly ignored the Auror's protest.  A flash of color rose in his cheeks but, he did his best to ignore that, too.  For better or worse, the man's blatant lack of confidence only made Sasha more determined to contribute. 

Why these things were so much easier in a drill or a practice duel, Sasha would never know.  He'd likely remember that - remember to use a spell the magical object already knows.  But, for now he had a direction.  Sasha drew his wand once more and nodded to Professor McGonagall.  Still ignoring the man, Sasha cast Lente evanescant on the lower of the two steps trapping the Auror. 

“Come now,” Minerva began in response to the auror’s skepticism, “Mr. Schlagenweit is one of Hogwart’s tetrawizard champions,” her voice swelled with pride at that, “he can easily handle a simple vanishing spell,” Really! Minerva didn’t see why the man was making such a fuss, and if it was the choice between trusting Edward Pratt to pull himself out of the stairs on his own, or using magic to help him, then she’d go with the option she felt most comfortable with. It wasn’t as if he had any choice in the matter anyway. It wasn’t a lie; Sasha was perfectly capable of helping the man, even if his butter suggestion was a bit on the… nonconventional side. As a school champion, as well as a quidditch player and a million other accolades, Sasha was well on his way to becoming one of the greatest wizards of his age.

“I suppose, however, if you’d like, I can send Miss ó Fearghail here to fetch Professor Reid, I’m sure she hasn’t gotten too far. If you’d rather have an adult to help with this dilemma,” Minerva pursed her lips, pensive. “Though I’d be wary, the step could vanish on its own any moment, and if you aren’t prepared the results could be rather nasty,” She wasn’t meaning to be mean, not at all. Minerva was above such pettiness as to get involved in ages old school drama, but time was certainly of the essence, and if they didn’t act fast, her statement could very easily come true. Hogwarts was a very temperamental castle, it did things when it wanted to and there was no changing its mind.

Having been focused on Eddie, Minerva barely caught Sasha’s nod, and as a result, when the stair started to vanish, Minerva’s mind was far from focused on a levitation spell. Pointing her wand at the man, the headmistress spoke the first incantation that came to mind: “Levicorpus!”

“RARGH!” The auror let out a yell as, regardless of his protests, the kid vanished the step and his legs were grabbed by an invisible force, hoisting him into the air upside down. The auror red robes now hung around his head and blood rushed to his face, leaving him shocked, red and angry. What a humiliating curse to perform! Arms fought through the robes and he extended his left hand, quickly focusing on his wand, lost beneath them in the entrance hall.

The wooden wand whizzed up into the air silently and into Eddie’s hand. The wand landing in the auror’s hand was accompanied with a few choice words before he quickly spoke an incantation “Liberacorpus” and the release of the Headmistress’s spell caused the auror to land hard on the steps, his back painfully slamming into a wooden jut. Another set of curse words was released after a long groan.

“A world of spells at yer disposal, Headmistress, and you think of Levicorpus?” The auror’s scowl was directed at his former professor. His colleagues were not hearing about this.

Sasha took a step back down the stairs, grimacing sympathetically, when the Auror freed himself from Professor McGonagall's charm and fell on the stairs.  The young Gryffindor's camera flashed a few more times before the girl scurried up the stairs and disappeared into the crowds of students.  Where those pictures would, ultimately, end up was anyone's guess and Sasha would have to remember to warn Professor Reid. 

Despite his annoyance towards the man, as usual, etiquette won out.  Sasha took a step back up the stairs towards the Auror and offered a hand to help the man to his feet.  It wouldn't have surprised him if the man refused the help. 

The Ravenclaw scowled, deeply, when he heard the man question the Headmistress' choice of aid.  He probably was supposed to remain quiet but he couldn't believe the man would think that was alright?  Did the ministry train manners and etiquette out of their Auror force?  Was that some integral part of their interrogation system or something?

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to our professors or Headmistress in such a disrespectful manner," Sasha said, despite his better judgment.  "Profanities?  Threatening Professor Reid in front of students, criticizing Professor McGonagall in front of us, as well?  It seems, under the circumstances, an expression of gratitude would seem more appropriate.  And an apology to Professor Reid."