This was not happening.

Little moles were burrowing up and around the Ministry, trying to expose the Minister and the Tetrawizarding Tournament in bad light. Maurice hadn't taken time for much rest, occupying his desk since Monday with small doses of Wit potion ingested into his body if need be.

Currently, he was munching away on a cucumber sandwich dashed with curry powder whilst consuming his sixth glass of lemon mint tea while reading the reports Madame Murray had shared with them after Monday's events.

All was well.... for now....

It had been a little over a week since Jacqueline’s last unannounced visit to the Minister’s office, and she had been patiently biding her time. It wouldn’t do to have the Minister upset with Jacqueline’s pestering, so she waited before bringing the proposal to her office. She had planned just to stroll through as she had before, but apparently the Minister’s aides had learned from their earlier mistakes and barred her path most efficiently.

With pursed lips, Jacqueline found herself being led to someone else’s area, not the Minister’s. A man, obviously younger than herself, sat behind a desk looking haggard and munching on… well whatever it was. She found an immediate disliking for the man, who obviously didn’t have to work for his pay, as he could afford the time to snack leisurely while on the clock.

She was quite tempted to turn on her heel and storm back out, make an appointment perhaps, but then she realized that an appointment would probably need to be made by the man sitting before her. Without exchanging pleasantries or waiting for an invitation, Jacqueline sauntered over to the available chair in front of the man’s desk and delicately took a seat.

“I need to see Minister Zephyr right away. Is there some reason I was led to you instead of her?” the Senior Unspeakable asked, her lips pressed tightly together, an obvious sign of her frustration.

It could be said trouble was something Maurice could smell a mile away and with the sudden appearance of the Senior Unspeakable (who he had met with passing glances when he left his former department), it was no different. The mid-munch of the cucumber seemed to sour, the bitterness tang of the lemon to burn his tongue when Jacqueline spoke up.

Ooh, this troublesome, trifling woman - add a weathered bicycle, a melodic tone that sounded almost demonic and bathe her in sepia tones and you'd have a wicked old witch indeed.

Maurice had heard (and seen) his colleagues visibly twitch with Jacqueline's presence but not him, NO sir. He was a Holmes, dammit, and this witch was by no means going to make him tremble and shake. His lips swallowed the tea as his brain formulated his speech while calculating her body language.

First, stand. Second, introductions. Third, take initiative. Fourth, wish this woman a good day. Fifth, bring her /down/. Sixth, keep your place next to Persepolis. Seventh, wish this woman a good day yet again.

Maurice stood. "I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Maurice Holmes, Primary Aide to the Minister. You've been, ahem, redirected to me because current Madame Zephyr's schedule is quite busy and cannot be afforded any interruptions. If, however, you wish to make an appointment, I'm ever so grateful to jot you in the next available slot. I do hope you understand it's truly nothing personal, ma'am, and for that, we wish you a better day for it."

Cue dramatic pause.

"Name, department, inquiry, pertinent information for the Minister, if you please?"

Ooh, he loved it when he was nasty like this. Mummy would hardly be proud of him, but Father had taught him political dynamics very well. Be warm and inviting even when you were colder than an iceberg. Keep your enemies /guessing/.

Jacqueline’s eyes travelled up as the man stood. She understood his tactics; she had used them herself on several occasions. Bringing a physical height difference to the conversation allowed the minister’s aide to take control of the conversation. With any normal person, such tactics might work, but the Unspeakable simply sat and stared up at the man with obvious contempt on her face.

She crossed her legs and her lips curved up into a snarl. “I will have a good day when I’m permitted to see the Minister,” She said, her French accent growing thicker as her frustration rose. This man… this glorified intern thought to make her feel belittled? Bigger men than him had tried, and she hadn’t folded yet. As if he didn’t know who she was, he probably had every member of the ministry filed away in his mind, contemplative on how he could use them.

“Unlike some of us, I have a very pressing job to take care of and these proposals need to get to the Minister as soon as possible. I simply do not have time for your pleasant meeting system which I’m sure you’ve worked very hard on.” Jacqueline said with a sickly sweet smile. She wasn’t lying, he probably had spent weeks on trying to perfect his meeting system, while people in the DoM were working dangerously with the very foundations of magic.

A few tactics worked, a few failed. Not too shabby for first attempts in this position, eh? Maurice was amused, however, to hear Jacqueline's naturalised voice rise in frustration. His mother's was very similiar - it made him wonder briefly if the families were distantly related.

Enough inside your mind temple, /go talk/, his brain urged with a sharp poke right as Jacqueline's final insult was dealt. So, to her, it would appear to be a small victory for the white haired witch. "I did not work as hard you may believe, madame, but I thank you kindly for those little.... thoughts?"

It was /on/. Pull sleeves up and go after the prize.

"Now as for your documentation, Madame Lumpkin, I can be entrusted with it. I assure you no eyes, including my own but excluding the Minister, will gaze upon it. Your department, my former one at that, isn't called the Department of Mysteries for child's curiousities to be prodded for: your department is a serious one."

An inhale and exhale.

"And that...that is why if you so choose not to hand it over (Maurice's lips pressed together to denote a sense of no hurt feelings), I understand entirely. However, the Minister, as I previously stated, is indisposed of at this time. I'm sure you've been reading the Prophet (who hasn't? came another add-on) and naturally, you can see precisely why I can't allow access to her currently."

Maurice gave a sudden, genuine "I'm sorry" glance. "I apologise but my answer is still no."

Jacqueline looked down her spectacles at the assistant with a look of pure disdain on her face. She had never been the kind of witch to hide her feelings; they always showed broadly on her face. It was both a gift and a curse at times, though most of the time the unspeakable couldn’t care less. There was no denying, however, that the man before her was skillful. Had they been meeting in differing circumstances, Jacqueline would have probably quite admired the man’s diplomatic skill. As it was, it annoyed her to no end, causing the harsh French woman to shake her head and purse her lips tightly.

If Jacqueline chose to leave the papers with Mr. Holmes, as she should, she would be admitting to the man that the file wasn’t as top secret and important as she made it out to me. On the other hand, if she chose to not leave the file with the man, the Minister wouldn’t be able to receive the proposition until Merlin-knows-when. She was at an impasse it seems.

She fumed at the man for several moments before a sly smile played across her features. “Of course, I completely understand she’s indisposed at the moment. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind me waiting with you until she becomes available, now would you?” She batted her long lashes at the man, giving him her most sickly sweet, condescending tone. “I’ll stay out of the way, and it’ll only take a moment for me to hand over the file, wouldn’t take up more than two minutes of the Minister’s busy schedule.”

Watching Jacqueline Lumpkin huff and puff like a snowy white Pygmy Puff while wearing spectacles was far too amusing to not envision, Maurice came to believe as his eyes kept its steady gaze on the Unspeakable. If she continued, he thought in more amusement to himself, she would surely blow gaskets, and wouldn't that be awfully tragic?

Quite, dear boy, quite he heard within the confines of his fortress. The smirk that was ever growing never left his features, even as Jacqueline began to speak. His smirk curled upward into a cruel lipped smile. Oho, Maurice Holmes had an opposing Queen, did he now? Fiesty, sarcastic, witty, /condescending/ even. She was a keeper.

"Now, now, Madame Lumpkin, let's not play so viciously. After all, if you wish to sit here and wait, you wouldn't want to find discomfort, now would you?" Maurice spoke back, the same sickly sweet tonality escaping his own mouth. "You can stay, but you may be waiting quite a while. After all, you know how busy a Minister of Magic is, unless you don't." A pause. "Quite is the answer, but you are a very educated, well rounded woman. Intellectual, even. Merlin would be most proud."

Prickish boy. You're asking for it. Don't come crying to Mummy if she stings you.