Accepted! ~Elle/Fauna
About You, the Writer:
Your Nickname: le Jadey
Have you read and do you agree to the Code of Conduct?: Fo’ Shizz.
How did you find us and decide to write with us?] It has been far too long. I’m part of the fixtures ^.^
If you have written other characters here, list them all: Finnley Grosvenor [owner of Signature]
Ava Grosvenor [currently sixth year Slytherin]
Full Character Name: Augustus Jay Snark
Character Birthday & Age: August 21st, 1975, aged 33.
City & Country of Birth: Bayswater, London, UK.
Pureblood, Halfblood or Muggleborn?: Pureblood [but with a muggleborn grandfather]
Alma Mater: Académie de Magie Beauxbâtons [Beauxbatons]
Job: Coach for Falmouth Falcons
Wand:
10 ½ inch shiny zebrawood of west African origin. Deep red in colour with dark lines engrained in the wood, resembling the stripes of a zebra. Everyone asks the question: is a zebra black with white stripes or white with black stripes? This perhaps shows that Augustus has never been quite sure who he is, or comfortable in himself. He doesn’t know whether he is black with white stripes or white with black stripes. This is personified through his wand. The unicorn tail core symbolises Augustus’ pure heart. He is an honest person who doesn’t like to do wrong by anyone, and chooses loyalty to his family over anything else.
The strength of Augustus’ wand is self-contradictory. It is a rigid wand which shows that he is determined, headstrong and unyielding. He got this trait from his grandmother Greta, who on many occasions showed her manipulative side. However, it is also quite swishy, which suggests that he can also at times be weak-willed. This trait came from his father, Gustav. In this instance, he finds it difficult to say ‘no’ to family. His loyalty to his sisters, half-brother, nephew and daughter makes him a pushover and an easy target when someone wants something.
The shaft of Augustus’ wand is spiralled which symbolises the quick-wittedness that the Snarks are famous for. There is also a slight bend in the dark shaft which shows that he is quirky. He is by no means a straight-up-straight-down man. Like his wand there are many twists, turns and bends to his personality, and it could take a lifetime to study them all.
Physical Description:
Augustus Snark is a tall man. Standing at 6’2” he towers over many. He gives the appearance of being slender, and some would say willowy. Although not being overly abundant in muscle, Augustus is freakishly strong, something which those seeing him for the first time would not assume.
His red hair is the trait carried on through generations of Snarks. He highlights his hair with a golden undertone to take away some of fire, as quidditch players [more often than not from opposing teams] have stated that it puts them off the game. Augustus reluctantly agreed at first, but found that he preferred it that way in the end. His hair is of medium length, hanging just over his ears and is often unkempt. Being a professional quidditch player has meant that his appearance has taken a back seat. Since the death of his wife, it has even more so, and since Augustus has not been interested in looking for a replacement, his looks have never bothered him.
He has golden-hazel eyes, and his right eye has a black spot to the left of his pupil, in the iris, giving the impression of a freakishly large pupil in one eye, although the black spot is completely separate to the pupil itself.
He has a thin face set off with an elongated nose and thin lips that are more often than not curved up into a wonky smile. His face has a kind look to it, and his eyes have deep lines at the corner, a sign that at one time he was a very happy man. His droopy eyelids often give the appearance of being whimsical and dreamy, but Augustus never misses a thing. He is fair-skinned which makes him extremely prone to sunburn, and has hairy orange-tinted arms and a little too much of a beer-gut than he would like to have. He has a tattoo on his right shoulder of the outline of three simple birds flying in a curved line, each following the one before, and descending in size. The largest bird represents himself. The second bird represents his late wife, and the smallest bird represents his daughter. All three birds were scribed on his skin the day Arielle was born.
Augustus has a scar shaped like a star on his left hip. He received this particular scar at the age of six, when he and his elder sister Analiza were throwing garden gnomes in the garden of their London home. Analiza threw a gnome, then decided she would throw a particularly jagged rock up after it to see if she could hit it. However, she over anticipated her swing and instead of throwing it up into the air, she threw it towards the ground, but Augustus was in the way. The sharp end of the rock penetrated the skin on Augustus’ hip producing a scar that resembled a star. His mother tried in vain to remove the scar with magic, but Augustus was determined that it would stay there forever. At the age of thirty-two, Augustus is still the proud bearer of that scar, his first of many battle wounds.
Personality Description:
Augustus Snark has led a difficult life. The divorce of his parents hit him hard. He was young – not young enough to not remember, but also not old enough to completely understand. All he saw was that his mother and father no longer loved each other. In fact, he saw that they despised each other. This shocked him to the core and led to his developmental problems with speech, reading and writing. For a long time after he went with his mother back to Haarlem, he neither spoke to many people, nor seemed as though he was listening, much to the disapproval of his maternal grandmother, Greta. Although after three years at the prominent Beauxbatons it seemed as though his personality was back to what it had been many years before, his education still lacked somewhat - every summer he would come home and it would seem as though he was worse than the year before. This troubled his mother greatly, as she had done so much to ensure that her children secured a good education.
Whilst growing into adulthood, he vowed that he would never go through what his parents went through. In his eyes, the break-up of their marriage was a betrayal of all that is epitomised in the vows read at a ceremony. He told himself that he would only allow himself to fall in love once, and that would be his lot. This backfired somewhat when his wife died, as he felt as though he was betraying his wife in perhaps a worse way than his parents betrayed each other in trying to move on from her death. Her death was the low point of Augustus’ life. He fell into a deep depression, worsened perhaps by his only child. He resented that Arielle resembled her mother so much. Augustus took to being by himself, preferring the sound of silence to the sound of voices. This period resembled his march back to Haarlem – he went into the same repressive state, not talking or listening, and struggled to read and write coherent sentences.
His sisters Analiza and Aurelia and his daughter helped him out of his streak of depression. For that reason, Augustus regards his family as his responsibility, and the sole reason for his being. It has caused his loyalty to multiply tenfold, and created a bond that he and his daughter had not shared up until that point. He suddenly became the doting father, the kind of dad that embarrasses young girls by being too clingy, the kind of dad that doesn’t want to let his daughter go for fear of losing her.
Analiza and Aurelia helped him to learn to channel his anger into his passion – quidditch. He strongly feels that this made him a better person. He no longer carries grudges, what has passed, has passed, water under the bridge. However, much as though he forgives, he is like every Snark that has ever lived – he never forgets.
Augustus has a fear of being flirted with. He closes up every time a woman that he is not well acquainted with comes near him, and goes into denial when a suggestion is made that a woman has been making eyes at him or may be at all interested in him. It’s not that he wouldn’t eventually like the chance to share a warm relationship with someone, but more to do with the fact that it has been so long. He was so young when he was married and had a child, he never really experienced what it was like to ‘date’. He married his childhood sweetheart, and never thought he would have to learn how to...dare he say it....flirt. However, the time has come for him to move on, and much as though it pains him he is at his sisters’ hands. They have taken it upon themselves to teach him how to flirt and act interested, and not be the stand-offish man he has turned into. He is closed, secretive and often makes stupid remarks that come across as...well...snarky.
Although shy and closed off by nature, when he is with people he knows he is a cool and collected man. His sense of humour is extremely dry, but well-meaning at the same time. Although he may seem ignorant at first attack, once people get to know him a little, they tend to like him a lot. He is an extremely likeable person with a taste for danger and a bad sense of fashion.
Augustus hates surprises. This probably accounts for the fact that he needs to read the last page of a book before he can begin to read it properly. Not that it really helps in some cases. More often than not he will ask someone what the ending is, so that he can decide if it is worth his while trolling through it or not [again, various references to his ‘dyslexia’ are made on these occasions]. He reads newspapers and magazines from back cover to front cover, too, a habit that he got into when he was young simply to annoy his grandmother, but one that has stuck all these years, and he now does without actually thinking about it. He also started smoking to rebel against his grondmother and mother, and now can't think of anything more delightful than having a cigarette on a stressful day.
History:
On an almost unbearably hot August 10th 1975, Augustus Jay Snark was born to Gustav and Gizela Snark in London. It was a happy occasion, as the couple now had a complete family – two daughters and a son. His younger years were spent being blissfully unaware of the drama that his surname tied him to. The Snark family was by no means a boring one, but until the age of seven, Augustus wasn’t quite aware of just how eventful his life was going to be.
In December of 1982, Augustus heard his parents arguing behind the closed door of their bedroom in their London home. Being a curious child, Augustus pressed his ear up against the cold wood of the door and listened tentatively, hardly daring to breathe for fear of missing something. He only caught short snippets of the conversation, but what he did hear disturbed him. His grandfather Hans had been killed. He had only met the man three times in his life, but to Augustus the thought of anyone being killed was horrific, but the simple fact that he was related to this man who had been murdered shocked the young boy to the core. He heard his father shout something about Death Eaters, and his mother argue back. Augustus wasn’t entirely sure what Death Eaters were, but he knew they were bad, and that his father worked to fight them off. Gustav was accusing Greta of being a Death Eater, and Gizela was fighting her mother’s ground, stressing her innocence.
That was the last time Augustus heard his parents actually exchange words with one another. Barely a year later, at the tender age of eight, Augustus had the news broken to him that his parents were filing for a divorce. He didn’t know what to do. His sisters were in their first year of Hogwarts, away from this mess that was family life. That his parents expected him to choose who to live with was the worst thing. His mother stated she was moving back to the Netherlands to be with her mother at this difficult time, and Gustav stated plainly that he would continue residing at the family home. He emphasised the word ‘family’, which gave Augustus hope that his parents would work out their differences and settle for what they had. His hopes were quashed, when, a week before his mother and sister Aurelia were due to leave for Haarlem, his mother turned to him and said. “You still haven’t made a decision.” She was cold and business-like, something which Augustus could not comprehend. He looked to his father for advice, but the man who was supposed to be his pillar looked away. Looking back, Augustus now realises that his father knew what he was going to choose before he himself did. “I’ll go to Haarlem.” He said simply. It pained him to leave Analiza, as she had always been his rock of stability, berating him when he did wrong, guiding him in the right direction through life, and being a good friend. She was the more likely to get dirty playing in a puddle of mud with him, and the less likely to be concerned with her looks and people’s perceptions of her. He loved Aurelia and Analiza the same, but Analiza had always showed more interest in him. But moving to Haarlem was not about his sisters. It was about his mother, and the fact that Augustus now considered himself to be the man of the family. At the age of eight, Augustus Snark was taking on responsibilities that most men don’t make until much later in life, some not at all.
The move to Haarlem went by as a whirlwind, and much as though Augustus settled into life quite comfortably, his personality had changed dramatically. He had left his voice somewhere over the English Channel, and with it went the ability to read and write coherent sentences. He became a recluse, holing himself up in his little room, taking time to stare dumbly out of the window for most of the day. His grandmother Greta harshly suggested that he needed medical attention of the sort that could only be found in an asylum. Aurelia defied her grandmother and stood up for her little brother. She was taking the responsibility of older sister quite seriously now that it was just the two of them.
In the March of 1986, Gizela was introduced to Delphineas Tate, an ex-Death Eater who took an instant dislike to the ten-year-old Augustus. Augustus represented the male part of Gizela’s old life, and with it her ex-husband. Delphineas was a shady character, and Augustus didn’t like him at all. He reseted the man, as he felt that he was taking over his father’s rightful role at the head of the family. On September 1st 1986, Augustus was pleased to be on his way to Beauxbatons, away from Haarlem and his manipulative family.
At Beauxbatons Augustus finally came out of his shell. He became popular for his dry sense of humour, his quidditch skills, and probably more for his elder sister. He was nothing like Aurelia – she thrived on the attention she received, whereas Augustus preferred to be in the shadows watching everything pass by. It was due to this that he gained a hawk’s eye, never missing a thing. Aurelia was also top of her class, somewhere Augustus had never even dreamed of trying to be. In his first three years, he didn’t bother attempting to be good academically, and channelled all of his energy into quidditch. This frustrated his mother, as she had made sure he had been brought up with a good education, and yet is seemed that every summer he returned to Haarlem worse at basic skills than the year before. He did, however, manage to pick up a lot of the French language, due to being around it all of the time, and was close to becoming fluent by the time he left the school.
Barely a year after his mother started her relationship with Delphineas, the pair were married, much to Greta’s delight. Gizela tried to persuade Augustus to call Delphineas ‘father’, but Augustus said that although he respected his mother’s decision to marry the man, he did not like him. He could never take his own father’s place, and Augustus said that he would be disrespecting his own father if he were to do so. This caused a rift that was even more dividing between mother and son, as Gizela realised that Augustus had came to Haarlem with them purely out of duty, rather than actually wanting to. She never stopped to think that at eight years old, choosing which parent to live with was a big deal. At eleven years old, choosing to make an informed decision about a person, rather than on a whim was more of a grown up act than most adults experienced in their whole lives. In such a short space of time, Augustus had grown from a boy into a man, but he forsook his childhood for it. The day his parents made him choose was the day they signed him up for a life of regret.
May 17th, 1979. A new arrival in the family was the buzz of the moment. Dorian Tate was born to Gizela and Delphineas Tate. Augustus was automatically shunted to the back seat by everyone. Dorian was hailed the ‘heir from the other side’, Aurelia being the ‘heir’ from the Snark side. Augustus felt a pang of jealousy at the attention this little bundle was getting, and made the decision not to like him from day one.
In the July of his third year, Augustus received a letter from Analiza with a family update from over the waters. The three siblings had kept in regular contact, each updating the others about aspects of their own lives, and the goings-on of their strange, muddled up family. This letter was of particular importance. It stated that Gustav Snark had started dating again. Augustus felt anger at knowing that this Grace Mulciber had stolen the heart that had once made his family a unit. Analiza told her brother that Grace Mulciber was a great deal younger than Gustav, which immediately made Augustus assume she was in the relationship for the money – grandfather Mortimer’s inheritance was still substantially large, and if this Grace Mulciber managed to get Gustav to change his will, she would get everything. She could, essentially leave the rest of the family begging on the streets. Much as though he was angered at this, there was nothing Augustus could do while he was so far away. He was just going to have to wait. Instead he used his anger to help his beating on the quidditch team at school, at which he was excelling. He responded by telling her that they had a half-brother, by the name of Dorian Tate, and that their mother and grandmother were both ecstatic. He ended the letter by saying Aurelia was top of her class. Nothing had changed there.
Less than one year after they met, Gustav Snark and Grace Mulciber married in Italy, at the Snark summer home. All of the children were invited to the wedding, but Gizela forbade Augustus and Aurelia from going. Augustus decided that he would not have wanted to go anyway, as he was far from happy about the situation. At the end of that year, Aurelia graduated from Beauxbatons and moved to Paris to study fashion. Augustus was sad to see his sister leave, as they had bonded quite a lot in their time at Beauxbatons, and Augustus felt as though he was going to be more lonely than ever. The August of that year was an exciting one for Augustus, as no sooner had Analiza graduated from Hogwarts, he received a letter from Analiza saying that he was going to be an uncle. This pained him, as he wanted to be there for his sister and to greet his nephew or niece when they arrived. The father of the child disappeared after finding out he was going to be a father, which made Augustus want to be there even more. He was less than happy, however, to hear that his new ‘stepmother’ was also expecting, and therefore he was going to have yet another half-sibling.
In the April of 1991, within two days of each other, Gavin Snark was born to Gustav and Grace, and his nephew Alexander Snark born to Analiza. The daunting prospect of single-hand rearing of a child madeAnaliza consider allowing Grace to take on Alexander as her own son. Analiza tried her hardest for the first year, but jumped at the chance to move abroad when a job wa offered to her.
Two months after Analiza left for her travels, In May 1993, Augustus and his girlfriend Beatrix Follet graduated from Beauxbatons. Beatrix was heavily pregnant, a bombshell she dropped on the family as a ‘christmas present’. Although Augustus could not have been happier, the news received a cold response from his family who thought this was a travesty.
July 26th, 1993 was – to date – the happiest day of Augustus Snark’s life. His daughter was born, and named Arielle Gale Snark. Augustus was offered a job on the Bigonville Bombers and didn’t have to think about taking it up. The small family moved their belongings to Bigonville, Luxembourg, and Augustus played as first team beater while Beatrix took to motherhood like a mermaid to water. Nearly two months later, the couple was married in Bigonville. All of the family made it, his mother and father managed to sit through the entire ceremony and reception and not say a word to each other. The biggest problem at the wedding was Greta, who made comments about the wedding being cheap [and Grace being even cheaper], but nothing could spoil the happy day for Augustus and Beatrix. Augustus also met his half-brother Gavin and his nephew Alexander for the first time, which was a special occasion for him. Perhaps it was the long, exciting day and the copious amounts of wine he had consumed, but he felt that he had given Grace a hard time without actually meeting her. Now that he had met her he could see how happy his father was, and stopped resenting her. Seeing Analiza for the first time in all those long years made a big impact on Augustus.
The next few years were all a bit of a blur. Augustus, living away from home, found that he was out of the loop of the goings on in his family. Neither of his sisters were around the keep him updated, either, so things went pretty smoothly for a blissful while. In April of 2004, Beatrix and Arielle moved to London so that Beatrix could start training as an auror for the Ministry of Magic. Augustus stayed at Bigonville, returning to London every Thursday and leaving every Monday. It was hard for him to leave his wife and daughter at the beginning of every week, but his job brought money into the family, and it was important for him to support his wife and child by any means. Beatrix became the protégée of none other than Gustav Snark. Over the next couple of years, Gustav and Beatrix bonded in a way that Gustav and Augustus were never able to. Gustav and Grace were pleased at being able to see their granddaughter so often, which helped to seal a rift that had been so evident before.
However, October 1997 brought devastation upon Gustav and Gavin Snark. Grace had begged Gustav months earlier to send her and Gavin into hiding at their Italian home, as she feared the worst from Voldemort’s return. And rightly so. Death Eaters found Grace’s hiding place, and killed her as her son watched from his hiding place. Gustav discovered that Grace had been found, and arrived at the scene mere minutes after the Death Eaters had been there. Gavin was found unharmed, but disturbed at what he had seen. They returned to London shortly after the funeral.
On May 2nd 1998, the great Battle of Hogwarts took place. Gustav Snark with his protégée Beatrix in tow made their way to defend wizarding kind from Voldemort’s grasp. Gustav was killed that night while trying to protect Beatrix from the curse that was cast at the hand of a Death Eater. In a rage of distress Beatrix hunted down Gustav’s murderer in the crowds of fighting people, and made him pay for what he had done. However, injuries Beatrix had sustained from the original attack were too serious – three of her left ribs were cracked and had punctured her lung. Under normal circumstances she would have been saved. However these weren’t normal circumstances. The many people and the dangerous situation meant that Beatrix was left dying on the cold, stone floor of one of the corridors in the castle while people duelled and fought around her. She died that night at approximately 11.15pm. A family friend and auror found both herself and Gustav, and was the one who wrote the letters breaking the news to the Snark children. Gavin, Alexander and Arielle were now without guardians. Aurelia, Analiza and Augustus all came back to London.
Augustus blamed himself for his wife’s untimely death, and fell into a deep depression. This depression resembled that of which he went into when he first arrived at Haarlem, but to a much greater extent. He was now a single parent, but his parental responsibilities did little to stir him from his repressive state. If anything it worsened him, and if Analiza hadn’t decided to forsake her research post abroad for her old job as an unspeakable at the Ministry of Magic, and Aurelia hadn't moved back to London, he would not have coped. All three Snark children received a hefty sum of money from Gustav’s inheritance.
Later that year Augustus heard of a ministry raid on his mother’s Haarlem home. It didn’t surprise him to hear that many illegal and dark artefacts were seized and his mother, stepfather and grandmother are implicated as Death Eaters and packed off to Azkeban. Augustus assumed Analiza had something to do with the raid and the punishment, judging by the way she acted towards her mother at the trial, but he thought better of asking her about it. As far as he was concerned, she had to do what she had to do, and there was nobody who could stop her. Augustus was relieved that the feudal family drama that had taken over their lives had stopped once and for all, and this thought relieved a little pressure from his head.
Augustus was still playing for the Bigonville Bombers at this time, but his head clearly wasn’t in the game. He was constantly tired, and did nothing to boost morale in the team. His behaviour was erratic, often losing his temper over the smallest of things and more often than not ending the day in tears. In the May of 1999 he was let go from the Bombers, and he and Arielle moved back to London into the Snark family home with Analiza, Alexander and Gavin.
The next four years went by with no major events. Augustus’ depression was still the root of his problems with finding work. No team wanted someone who’s behaviour changed more than a boggart did. With the help and sheer determination of his sisters and daughter, Augustus was finally able to accept that he was not solely responsible for his wife’s death [although he would never say that he was not at all responsible]. They taught him to repress his anger, and channel it into his beating. This helped enormously, and soon he was playing better than he had ever played before. He was taken in by the Falmouth Falcons in Cornwall, who accepted that he was a changed man. His emotions fuelled his passion for the sport, and it soon became customary – almost a sport within itself – to anger him before a big game by talking about Death Eaters, and in particular, his grandmother Greta.
In September 2004, Arielle started her first year of Hogwarts. She was sorted into Gryffindor, and Augustus couldn’t have been prouder of her. She had been stronger than he had all those years, enduring the death of her mother and grandfather, imprisonment of her grandmother and the severe anxiety that Augustus’ own depression caused. She reminded him so much of what he had been like at that age, and was worried that – like he – she would store all of her emotions up and become a recluse like he had. Arielle, however, had her mother’s thirst for life. She thrived at the school, and Augustus couldn’t have been happier.
In 2006 things were looking particularly rosy. The coach of the Falmouth Falcons retired, and after a very short vote it was decided that the team wanted Augustus as their new coach. He was honoured to take the position, and much as though it meant he wouldn’t be playing as much now, he was happy to be taking a back seat in the game but at the same time being a big hand in it.
Things have been going relatively smoothly in his role as coach. There have been a few hiccoughs, but nothing that a professional team cannot deal with effectively. Augustus is happier than ever and never thought he would come out of the end of the dark tunnel he went into all those years ago, on that fateful trip to Haarlem. But he firmly believes that had he not gone through what he did, he wouldn’t be who he was today, and wouldn’t have the daughter he so loved, and the family that had always been loyal.
What is your occupation?:
Augustus is the coach for the Falmouth Falcons. He started off as the beater on their first team, when they were the only team who would take him on after his severe depression caused problems with his work life. He was let go from his former team, the Bigonville Bombers due to the fact that his personality clashed with most of the team after the death of his wife, and his eating became hit-and-miss. Through the help of his sisters Analiza and Aurelia he has learned to channel his anger into his beating. Without her help he would not have succeeded. He now keeps all of his emotions bottled up until he has the bat in his hand and the bludger in his field of vision.
Writing Sample:
The sun was setting over London. Darkness was folding over the backdrop of the city earlier and earlier every day. October 30th was saying its ‘goodnight’ at 7.03pm, and Augustus had arrived home from a week of hard training [well, coaching on his part] for the Falmouth Falcons in Cornwall only half an hour previously. After a long, hot shower and a heavy meal of mince and dumplings, he sat himself down to some correspondence.
The first letter he opened was from the Ministry, informing him of some law or another they were changing, something to do with magical transport. Augustus shook his head and ripped up the letter. What a load of tosh. he thought to himself. They have no concern for my condition! His condition was dyslexia, but it didn’t bother him so much now, except for when he was magnificently stressed or tired, but he always used that cornerstone of his life to cause a guilt-trip to nobody in particular, for the large volume of ‘complete and utter crap’ he had to wade his way through on a week-to-week basis. It made himself feel better for the fact that, actually, he simply couldn’t be arsed to read it.
The second letter was from a dear old friend, Spencer Sibari, who had been on the Falcons team with him for the two years before he became the coach. Spencer had moved on to the Tutshill Tornados and their dark blue robes, but Augustus had been blessed with the good fortune of being asked to stay and coach the team that brought him back from the depths of depression, and gave him a reason to play again. Spencer had been at the recent league match between the Falmouth Falcons and Ballycastle Bats, giving his friend [and his old team] some moral support. Many would say he was fraternising with the enemy – Augustus would say that, like many of his own team, he was there because Augustus’ elder sister, Analiza was there to support him too. Analiza was well-known throughout the quidditch community who knew Augustus as ‘Snark’s fit sister’. He tried to change their view of her, but to no avail.
Augustus made his way over to the large fireplace and knelt down on the cold hearth. He couldn’t help but grimace as his knobbly knees hit the marble, and the icy stone seared through his body. He picked a handful of floo powder up, stuck his head into the fire and shouted clearly “Spencer Sibari, 7 Oakfield Villas,” as he threw the powder down onto the floor. What had been an empty, cold fireplace suddenly glowed green, and Augustus’ head seemed to disappear into the green flames.
“Spence!” He exclaimed happily into the fire. There was silence. A non-wizarding onlooker would have been particularly confused by this, but Augustus was quite happy talking into the backs of fires. Spencer’s resply couldn’t be heard on the other side, but Augustus’ voice suddenly changed to one that was a little darker and more menacing.
“Don’t get me started on Shillingham!” He stated in a warning voice. Apparently whatever Spencer had brought up was a sore subject to Augustus. “…I tell you, if he ever tries to pull a stunt like that again he’ll have more than a cracked bat!”
There was a lengthy pause, in which only the crackling of the fire could be heard in the otherwise dark room. Augustus Snark was brandishing his bottom in the direction of the door. Down on all fours with his head stuck in the fire, he wiggled his bum a bit, trying to ensure that his legs didn’t completely go to sleep.
“Well,” Augustus carried on, “I told him straight that my sister was not there for his viewing pleasure. She was there to support me. He then had the nerve to ask where Aurelia was!” He paused again and listened intently. “Hmm…well, perhaps telling him that they were both hookers wasn’t the best of ideas…after all, Ana isn’t known for her sense of humour. Hold on a sec.” The elder Snark pulled his head from the fire and let his golden eyes wander warily around the room, his brow furrowed as he let his eyes adjust to the dim surroundings. Happy that he was safe, he sighed with a droopy looking smile plastered on his lips before swooping his orange head back into the equally orange flames.
“I was just checking she wasn’t here. She may not have my sense of humour, but her boot has a mean aim at my arse! And bloody hell does she use it sometimes!”
Sum up your character in one paragraph
Augustus is a loving and sensitive man with a dry sense of humour and a taste for mushrooms. He is quirky in the fact that he reads magazines and newspapers from back to front, and loves to know the end of a book before he reads it. His dyslexia rears its ugly head when he is stressed, anxious and overly tired, and he is prone to spasmodic stress – his eyelids twitch under the same situations as above. He has a fear of women, specifically women who may view him as a potential target for their claws, and his family are the most important thing to him.
Augustus Snark: Coach for the Montrose Magpies