Sasha was halfway through his History of Magic essay in the quiet of the otherwise empty Astronomy tower.  Professor Trishna had left a short while before to take care of some sort of personal business.  Or, find something to argue with Professor Reid about.  A fire blazed warmly, keeping the chill at bay despite the late October rain that blew against the colorful tower windows.  The rain had shown signs of tapering off but Sasha was still glad he wouldn't have far to go when classes resumed for the evening. 

As usual, it was the sable shepherd who heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs first.  The dog pushed himself to his feet, attention fixed on the arch over the tower entrance moments before Sasha heard the footfalls against the stone steps.  It wasn't Professor Trishna.  The shepherd would usually be off to greet the man before the professor had gotten halfway up the stairs.  The footfalls were also obviously different.  They came faster and lighter than the tall professor was capable of under normal circumstances. 

He knew he recognized the girl as soon as she stepped into the tower but it took a few extra moments to recognize where from.  She was that annoying, know it all girl from the library a few days before who felt it her duty to inspect strangers' study materials.  Sasha still didn't know the girl's name - she'd been too distracted by offering unrequested opinions to bother with minor details like introductions.  The girl moved into the tower with unmistakable determination that made it perfectly evident this wasn't a chance meeting.  She'd come looking for him. 

"I've got a lot of work," Sasha started to point out, somewhat baffled as to why this girl had decided to seek him out.  He gestured towards the stack of books on the coffee table just in case she'd decided to carve out her own niche as the Hogwarts Homework Patrol.  "Look, there's nothing-" he started when he got a good look at the girl's features and stopped. 

"What's going on?" he asked, well aware that something was amiss, even if he couldn't identify what. 

The Astronomy Tower.  She'd asked in the library where she might find that Ravenclaw boy she'd talked with last year and some of the older students whose names she didn't know or ever care to know, pointed her  here.  He liked to study alone, in the safety of Professor Trishna's nighttime classroom.  She hoped Trishna wasn't there, she had no idea what the schedule of those classes was even but in her state she didn't care.  She'd pull the older boy from the room by his hair if she had to.  He'd give her the time of day on this day.

Clutched in her fist as she flew lightly up the stairs was a letter, written with a shaky hand and sealed clumsily with a partial sticking charm.  It was addressed to her mother but when she'd tried to tie it to Nike's leg and send it off, the small pest refused to budge, refused to deliver it.  Instead, she perched on the window sill and chirred softly with her tiny feathered head pushed against Katy's stomach like an odd parody of comfort. 

She'd known at that moment that her mother was truly gone.  Only loss and pity could make that thing be nice to her and... she choked up a bit at the thought... no matter how much Nike disliked her, she'd never flat out refused to deliver anything.  Katy could only assume that there was no one to receive it and it broke her completely.

She'd kneeled, huddled on dropping-covered straw and nearly gave in to the biting sorrow and loneliness gnawing at her gut.  But as she lay there quivering and trembling with the effort of holding back her tears, a  strange sense of purpose descended over her, stilling her limbs and leaving her calm and focused.  She couldn't send a letter to the dead.  But... there was another way. 

That was how she found herself flying up the tower's staircase to find the blonde boy with dark intentions, innocently pretending to focus on his homework.  She strode into the tower with an expression on her face that revealed the deep, ice cold traces of determination that arced through her.  She sent of a short and simple spell wisp that crackled as it zipped out and around, looking for warm bodies that might have been lurking around unbeknownst to her.  There were no yelps of surprise by the time the wisp crackled back into sight so she dismissed it and fixed her steely gaze on the older boy.

"I want to know everything you learned about necromancy."

At first, the girl didn't answer.  She just cast a quick sentry charm that darted around the room and peeked behind the curtains.  Intrigued by the light's movement, Baldur pushed himself to his feet and trotted after the light.  Watching the girl seemed unlikely to produce any answers until the light deemed the tower empty so Sasha turned and watched the dog as he pursued the light around the tower with unrelenting determination. 

With a slight pop, the spark fizzled and disappeared, leaving the dog with nothing to herd and he trotted back towards the couch and flopped down in front of the hearth.  Sasha turned his attention back to the Hufflepuff and, then, the girl stated her purpose. 

Sasha stared at her a moment, trying desperately to read between the lines.  Was this an accusation?  An investigation proceeding a tattle session?  Curiosity?  Something had obviously sparked the inquiry but, as of yet, the reason was a mystery. 

"Why?" Sasha asked, cautiously.  "I've only skimmed a few passages for my paper."  That hadn't worked the first time and Sasha didn't expect it to work this time.  However, he wasn't going to claim any additional purpose until he was satisfied this wasn't an inquiry.  "What, specifically, do you want to know." 

Katy's eyes flickered to follow the dog for a moment but left him just a quickly, just enough to make a note of his presence and maybe the eventual danger his presence might cause.  Her main focus was on the  boy who was still blithely pretending he wasn't interested in that book.  She rushed forward and snapped, "Don't bullshit me. You've read it from cover to cover.  I can tell."

The yawning hole in her chest was almost too much to bear.  Her shoulders were slumped and her knees trembled with the effort of keeping her upright.  Her hands, when they weren't clenched around the envelope, shook so hard she'd not be able to hold on to a cup of tea, her wand was hard enough but she didn't dare put it away until she was certain Sasha wouldn't hex her for prying, now that they were isolated from prying eyes. 

"My-" she paused.  She didn't know if she could say it.  It still didn't seem real enough to speak, to admit to another person.  And yet... she wasn't sure that Sasha would stop pretending until he understood the source of her interest in the matter. 

Turning to the right, Katy began to pace back and forth.  She bit at one of her knuckles on the hand still clenching the letter Nike had been unable to deliver.  She pulled the hand a way, took a breath to speak, and let it out to chew on her knuckle again.  She was suddenly sure that being up here was a stupid idea.  Necromancy was unbelievably difficult and dangerous.  Just looking at the book had given her an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.  But if he had read it, then he might be able to help her speak with her mother.  Just once.  One more time.  That was it.  Katy wanted, needed to be able to say goodbye.  And if he was planning to do something... Her eyes trailed to his waiting form.  If he was planning something then she could help him and he could help her.

She stopped pacing and turned to him.  Her hand dropped to her side, slightly red.  The crumpled parchment fell, as if from a dead thing, and landed on the floor with a soft and papery plop.  She stepped forward and looked at her feet, rather than at Sasha. 

"My mother... she..."  Katy took a deep, shuddering breath.  "She died."  The word escaped from between her lips with a deep and heartbroken sigh.  "I need to do something.  I need to say goodbye. I thought of you when..." She trailed off again and remained quiet.

Sasha wasn't entirely sure how the girl knew he'd read the book thoroughly.  Perhaps it had been a lucky guess or perhaps she'd been keeping a closer eye on him than he'd assumed.  Or, perhaps, she'd actually been that aware of his original intentions when she'd cornered him in the library. 

However she'd managed, Sasha fidgeted uncomfortably without verbally confirming or denying the accusation. 

The Ravenclaw could be remarkably dense when it came to picking up on the subtleties in a conversation so it wasn't until the Hufflepuff started pacing in obvious agitation that he became aware there was more to this than a simple accusation.  Sasha's watched the crumpled piece of paper clenched in the girl's hand waiting for something - anything - that would finally fill his gaps in understanding. 

"Your mother."  Sasha's gaze remained on the piece of paper.  That one piece of information was what he'd been waiting for.  Her mother had passed away.  She'd seen him with the necromancy book.  She was hoping Sasha would help her so she could contact her mother.  She was wanting to participate.   

Sasha took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair.  "I ... I don't know.  This isn't just ... this isn't just charms.  I'm sorry.  I know what you must be feeling but ... if you just found out, maybe ... it's not like picking up the phone or turning on the television.  You're probably not thinking straight."  He liked to think his was not a snap decision.  That he'd been giving this careful consideration since early August.  He wasn't sure he should be helping her do something drastic when she wasn't sure it's what she'd wished she'd done a month later. 

Not to mention, he was well aware how unethical this all was.  Dragging someone else into it would be even worse.

Emotions like flashes, of hurt and anger, tightened her chest and made it difficult to speak.  The possibility of tears warred with the certainty of her anger with this boy.  He was in no position to call her into question about this.  It was her loss and her decision to act on it.  Tears pushed at her eyes, stinging their betrayal.  She had no way to express the feelings within her.  No words that could convey the hole left within her.  But she had to try.  Had to.  She needed to do this one last thing for her mother and so she would have to speak and convince the Ravenclaw to let her help him.

She walked forward and knelt at coffee table with her hands on top of his books.  She looked up into his face and tried to convey with her eyes her seriousness.

"You must know what it's like," she started in a whisper.  Her eyelashes fluttered as the pain washed over her fresh with the attempt to describe it.  "My mother was my everything.  Without her, I have nothing."

She paused and swallowed.  "Without her... I am nothing."

"I've read about necromancy before," she admitted with a small voice after awhile of rubbing her fingers along the edges of his homework books.  "I know how awful it is.  But somethings are worth it.  Somethings have to be done.  I don't think I can go on.  I have to do something or..."  She trailed off because she couldn't imagine what she'd do if she couldn't do this.

She eyed the things on the table a bit more, without really seeing them.  She withdrew her hands and put them in her lap.  The overwhelming emotions drained out of her and she was left pleasantly empty and neutral.  She fixed her empty gaze on him.  "Besides, if it's really that dangerous and difficult, you shouldn't be doing it alone either.  It ought to be safer with two people, at the very least."

When the girl knelt down on the other side of the coffee table, it was only a matter of moments before Sasha felt compelled to drop his gaze and become seemingly distracted by the books scattered between them.  He was probably supposed to be offering some sage words of comfort or advice.  Something that would help alleviate her pain and point her down some solid road of healing. 

But, he barely knew the girl.  And, he barely had a handle on his own grief.  Or, perhaps, this current conversation was an indication he was deluding himself into believing he even had that.  He wasn't sure he was in a position to really, constructively, help the girl with her own grief. 

Especially given her false assumptions.  Slowly, trying to keep an entirely passive expression,  Sasha shook his head.  "I don't know what it's like," he admitted.  "I ..."  He shook his head, again.  He'd barely known his own mother.  Interactions with his mother and step-father had always been formal and proper.  He'd been closer to Wilhelm, their barnhand, and Edith, their nanny, than he'd ever been with his mother and stepfather. 

He couldn't understand her personal perception of it, but he did have the presence of mind to realize that the difference probably meant that what she was feeling could only be worse than what he'd felt last Christmas.  And, her motivations had to be rather distinct from his own. 

But, she was still asking him, a prefect, to let her, fourth year, get involved with necromancy.  To deny her, though, would be to deny her what he, himself, couldn't stop thinking about. 

Sasha rubbed his face with his hands.  "Are you positively sure about this?"  He asked, looking at the girl.  "And, all you want to do is communicate.  Not do anything ... drastic.  Assuming this even works-" which was a big assumption.  "This won't bring her back.  It won't change the facts.  She'll still be dead." 

It might have been harsh but it had to be said.  If she was hoping this would fix things...  She needed to know exactly what to expect.

Almost more than anything else, Katy hated to have her decisions questioned.  It set her hackles better the jest about every single thing you could do or say to her save one, and that was attacking or hurting someone she loved.  In a way, since this involved her mother, it was close to that as well.  Katy slammed her hands down on the table and shot up.

"Why are you doing this then?" she snapped.  "If you don't know what it's like to love someone so much you'd do anything to say goodbye, then why are you doing this?  What is it that's so important to you that you'd risk your education and your life for it?"  Her eyes flashed with hurt and anger, revealing a depth to Katy that most people would never see. 

She made quite a sight standing there with her hair flared out around her face and her lips pursed.  Her rail-thin body  stood rigidly, bent slightly at the waist so she could peer down at Sasha.  She clenched her hands into fists by her side.

"I'm not stupid," she began a little more calmly, but just as bitingly. "I know what the consequences of death are.  I don't need you to hold my hand or pity me.  I just need to say good bye and tell her I love her one last time.  Besides, surely you could use some help, even if it's just a 4th year."

The girl slammed her hands against the table, her demeanor changing from withdrawn to confrontational in the blink of an eye.  Sasha flinched and shifted, leaning back against the couch. 

The girl's sudden emotional fluctuations weren't entirely unfamiliar to the Ravenclaw.  Even if he wasn't always aware of it, he was still prone to those unpreventable emotional whirlwinds himself.  So, when the girl's temper sparked, Sasha's own defenses flew up quickly flying, ready to retaliate.  But, just before hurling some sharp epitaph, Sasha reined himself in. 

"My reasons are my own," Sasha stated, tersely.  He certainly wasn't going to bare his soul to a girl he only knew by face.  "Why I'm doing this is no concern of yours."  A large part of him didn't want the girl's help, regardless of whether that made it safer, easier or even at all feasible.  Wasn't the challenge and feat of it part of the repentance? 

But, then, who was he to deny her the ability to say good-bye to her mother?  In what way did he have the ability or the authority to grant himself the opportunity but to deny her?  Who was he to make that call?

"If I let you do this, you're doing so entirely on your own volition.  I do not approve of it and, for the record, I'm telling you you shouldn't.  And, I can't let you participate - I can't let you help.  I'm not willing to take that risk."  Maybe Raine was right; maybe he was too superstitious.  But, he wasn't in a hurry to find out if his paranoia was well-founded. "Officially, I'm telling you 'no.'" 

"But, if you tag along, I won't stop you.  And, if you give me something of hers, I'll ... I'll do my best to help you say good-bye.  Until that point, all you should be doing is shielding yourself and be ready to leave if things go wrong.  Better that you're going to get help than getting sucked in, too.  Is that...do you understand?" 

Katy glared and struggled to contain the expansion within her chest.  He had no right to hold himself so far above her and dictate her actions like that.  He had no right!  Tears, unshed, began to burn at her tired eyes.  She squeezed her eyes shut with a horrible, marring frown, and jerked her head to the side.  Her hands trembled but she clenched those too, trying to force the emotional pain out by sheer force of will.

"Never mind," Katy snarled with a contemptuous curl of her lip.  "I  won't sit by and let you coddle me.  I'm more than that, and so is my mother."

She spun on the ball of her foot and strode towards the door.  Her shoes clipped out a quick, firm rhythm on the stones.  "I'll do it by myself."  The growling confession was out of her mouth before she could stop it.  She paused.  She really shouldn't have told him when he was so consumed with stopping her from doing what he was intent on.  However, if he tried to stop her, or if he wanted to tell on her, he risked her revealing his own plans.  She lifted her chin as though she hadn't slipped up and shot him one last searching look before heading back to the door, prepared to leave.

"It's not about coddling you.  I don't want the responsibility of seeing how it goes with-"  Sasha started to clarify but the girl had already whirled and was moving towards the door. 

Sasha watched the girl's back as she turned to leave.   He shook his head when the girl proclaimed her intentions though the gesture would probably go unnoticed by the retreating fourth year.   He didn't fault the girl for her intentions and he had no desire to stand in her way.  However, he knew enough to be realistic about the expectations.  "No you won't," he said simply.  "All the books that discuss methods are in the restricted section.  Even if you get the books - even if you could get the supplies you need -"  He, after all, had the benefit of a benefactor that more than dabbled in the Dark Arts.  "I'm not even sure I'll manage it.  You'll -" 

She'd get herself hurt if not worse.  And, he'd be no less responsible.

"Look," Sasha said.  "I can't - I have no idea what's going to happen.  Or, if it will work.  Or, what will happen if it doesn't.  I won't risk letting you be a guinea pig.  And, if things go wrong ... if something does happen ... it just makes more sense to have someone not involved who can actually do something."  A spotter.  Or someone to get help. 

"But, if what I'm doing works and nothing goes wrong and -" and there was nothing to worry about - "-you can do whatever you need to with your mother.  But, if I have any doubts about the way things go - I'm calling it off."  If she still chose to try on her own, then at least she would have seen what not to do and, ideally, Sasha wouldn't know about it.

Katy didn't get the chance to leave just yet because Sasha called out after her.  He told her she wouldn't be able to because the books were beyond her reach and the spell was too difficult for her anyway.  He was right.  Probably in both counts, but she didn't want to admit it.  In fact, she wanted  to tell him that she was willing to wait however long she had to in order to accomplish what she needed to.  But she didn't.  She didn't because she needed to speak to her mother now.  She needed to say goodbye and make sure she was in a better place.  If she didn't, Katy might not ever be able to let it go.

She turned, deflated and defeated.  Her head hung slightly and listed to the left.  She stared sightlessly at the floor and clutched the heart locket around her neck that held a picture of her, her mother, and Brynn at the beach the summer before her tenth birthday.  It was now all she had left of the people she loved most in the world.

"Fine," she whispered.  A little louder, she added, "I'll be there to help you, just in case something goes wrong.  But you have to promise you'll try to reach my mother afterwards.  I don't have anything of hers with me but I have this locket with her picture in it."  Katy let go of the locket reluctantly to let Sasha get a look at it.  "Will that be  enough, do you think?  If not I can send my owl and try and get a hairbrush or something." 

She was calm, serious, and businesslike now, as though they had never had cause to yell at one another, as though she hadn't yelled and pounded her hands like a baby.  Now she stared at Sasha with wary but hopeful eyes and waited for his response calmly.  She was now ready to take direction since this seemed to be her best option at the moment.

Any doubts that might have lingered about letting the girl participate vanished when she turned back with that look of defeat.  Sasha knew it all too well.  Even if his motivations were slightly different than hers, he understood and recognized the sentiment.  He could only hope that hers wasn't a rash, spur of the moment decision. 

Hopefully, any relief to come from this endeavor would outweigh any possible grief.

"I promise," Sasha agreed.  He shuffled the assortment of textbooks on the coffee table to the side as the fourth year returned.  But, he waved off the locket as she tried to hand it to him.  "I don't need it ahead of time.  Since all we're planning on doing is communicate, a picture will be fine."  From what Sasha could gather, the more corporal and permanent a version of the deceased one was trying to recreate, the more direct an item had to be related.  "Just bring it with you.  Though, keep in mind, you may not be able to get it back." 

Sasha looked up at the girl.  "I'm sure I don't have to tell you this but don't tell anyone.  Not a friend and, obviously, not a professor."  Definitely not the counselor.  The woman could have a heart attack over a tight schedule - no telling what she'd do over this. 

"They say Halloween is the night when the veil between the world of the living and dead is the thinnest so, I'm planning for midnight next week.  We obviously can't do this in the castle.  We'll be going out into the forest.  Just bring your wand and the locket.  I've got a source for all the other supplies." 

Katy clutched her locket again and squeezed it hard until she was certain the shape was pressed into her skin.  She wasn't certain she was will or ready to part with the locket but if it could help her talk to her one last time then maybe it was worth it.  Besides, he said she only might not get it back.  That meant there was always a chance it could survive the ritual.  She would have to look in to duplicating the picture though, just in case.

His acquiescence surprised her, though.  It was relatively easy, all things considered but she was glad to stop fighting.  She was so tired.  Tired, but ultimately determined to do whatever she had to do in order to go through with this.

She bit her lip when he warned her not to tell anyone.  "I don't have anyone to tell," she replied honestly, trying hard not to sound hurt by that fact but, on the heels of her mother's death, her lack of close friendship hurt.  Most days it didn't bother her, she liked being left alone because dealing with people was so difficult.  But at her core, she needed that companionship desperately.  She craved it and thrived on it.

Katy knelt on the other side of the coffee table once more, this time far more calmly and less desperately.  She just waited while he explained the basics.  She could do Halloween night.  She hadn't been planning on going to the dance anyway.  No one would miss her, another benefit of having no friends. 

"Anything else?  Anything you need me to do, just say and I'll do it."

Sasha watched the girl as she clutched the locket, feeling a momentary pang of jealousy.  How very opposite their situations were.  With Jacoba disowned and Anna dead, Sasha had been the sole heir to his family's estate.  He had everything that was once his parents - property, stocks, dividends, insurance payouts, personal effects.  But, none of it had anywhere near the emotional value of the locket the girl clutched in her hand. 

Which, of course, was foolish.  There was nothing in either of their situations to be envious of.  The grass was probably simply looking greener on the other side. 

"I don't have anyone to tell."

Sasha offered the girl a slight, sympathetic half-grimace, half-grin.  "I've known the feeling," he admitted.  "I ... well ... I'm sure you've already figured it out but if anyone finds out, they'll probably try to intervene."  Which, perhaps, should have been a clue.  "And, also...whatever you see or hear...I need to know you're not going to gossip.  Or judge.  Or ... whatever."

The girl settled on the far side of the coffee table.  Sasha pulled the stack of textbooks back towards him and set the topmost Runes and Physics textbooks to the side before placing the middle two in front of him.  With two quick flicks of the purple-hued wand, concealment charms lifted from what appeared to be an ordinary latin dictionary and potions ingredient primer, revealing two dusty old tomes. 

"I'd say, practice your water charms," Sasha recommended, flipping through the first book.  "The type of work we'll be doing seems very ... ritualistic.  It relies a lot on the elements and, well, fire seems to be the one most likely to get out of hand.  Too out of hand, at least.  And, -"

Sasha glanced up at the girl and shrugged.  "I guess...make sure you're prepared for if it doesn't work.  This stuff is really complicated.  I ... I need it to work.  I'm going to do my best.  But, if it doesn't ... you just ... you need to be prepared for that potential."