Friday, a little after 4:00pm

Sophie was mopey, she had been since the whole "Great Hall Brawl". She felt decidedly more mopey having met with Headmaster Reid the day before - not because the man was particularly harsh with her but because nothing felt resolved. She had wandered the halls after lunch trying to get her head on straight, clear out the mess of cobwebs and mild angst that was taking over. She had things she needed to do. Since they weren't being disbanded she had to somehow find a way to repair SAWS image. She also had to find someone to help her do that. Which was why she had set up shop in the library for her midday break. She could work there in peace since most everyone else was off in lessons or what have you. She had spent a good deal of time on her Herbology work before pulling out all the notes she had compiled on each of the members of SAWS as it stood. She knew they had to repair their public image but the inner workings of the group were in shambles as well.

She was busy drawing skulls, daggers, and poisoned apple-faces around Figaro's name (over the hearts that had been doodled there several months ago), and idly making a list of people she thought understood where SAWS needed to go and could best handle damage control. The list was short, Ayla had walked out of the last meeting, many of the others were too young, Ollie was gone, Cassie and Noni were as emotionally charged as Sophie found herself to be... who did that leave really? It needed to, ideally be a sixth year who had been involved since the club's start... or maybe not. It did occur to her that perhaps what she needed to set things right was someone on the outside, someone calm and rational, level headed and detached. Scratching the back of her neck she shook her head, before going back to drawing a little Figaro being pinged in the head with apples from every direction. The little Wanker.

It had been a rough few days.  And Figaro knew it was his fault.  Well, sort of.  That was the hard thing to work out.  How much of it was his fault, anyway?  Everyone - Zel, Fauna, Sophie, Professor Sandusky - everyone seemed convinced he should take responsibility for what had gone down, but Figaro just... couldn't.  Well, he could, sort of, but it wasn't as simple as that. 

But it kind of was. 

Professor Reid had come down hard on SAWS, and hard on Sophie.  And Figaro did feel craptastic about that.  There shouldn't have been any reason for this to be a SAWS thing.  Sophie was insane but she had her heart in the right place.  She had really been trying with this SAWS thing, and now it was all banjaxed. 

He finally found her holed up on some cubby in the library.  Kari Strong had told him where Sophie was hiding.  She was sitting there amongst papers and the sort, but it didn't look like school work.  And as he approached... dear Merlin, was that a hit-list?

Figaro saw his name positively illuminated biblical-style with daggers, skulls and other memento mori, and then on another slip were the names of other SAWS-associated folks.  He'd finally done it.  He'd driven Sophie to kill.  And so now, very very carefully, the cursed-silent Teller of Secrets sat in the chair next to the disgraced SAWS president.

With no voice to use, he'd instead composed a letter to her on the chalkboard Professor Sandusky had provided for him.[1]



He slid the chalkboard in front of her, pushing away her hit-list.  And made the most contrite face he could muster.

1.	"Sophie, I'm sorry I broke SAWS.  It sucks.  I didn't mean to get the club in trouble. What can I do?"

Sophie was a bit lost in her morbidly adorable drawing of apples beating Figaro to death that she didn't hear him until he sat down. He was getting to be a right creepy bugger without his voice. She glowered at her parchment, scratching out the eyes of wee little Figaro, only glancing at the chalkboard when he slid it her way. As warm and loving as Sophie could be when you made her angry... well. She took several deep breaths before she finally turned to look at him, "You think you broke SAWS? That's what you're worried about right now? Are you serious with this shitty little apology? You want to know what you can do, Fig? Find a time turner, go back to the night you ruined Zel's life, and, I dont know not open your stupid mouth," she punctuated the sentence by stabbing her quill into her parchment, in the middle of dead Fig's head.

Turning to look at him she held up a finger, trying to keep her voice a low hiss, "Actually, you know what you can do, you can sit in that damn chair and actually try listening. Do you know why I told Zel he had to tell you? It is not because I was 'setting you up' as you so articulately accused me of before shoving me into a table so hard I couldn't breathe. It was because I know you, I've known you for six years now, and I know you have a mouth that doesn't know when to close itself and stay closed - but for just a minute I thought maybe if you knew how important it was to him, how much he's suffered, you would think about someone else for once". Shaking her head a scowl etched itself into her features as she gave a small noise of disgust.

"You don't get it, you may never get it, and I don't understand why because unlike everyone else I refuse to believe it's because you're too dumb. You think it shouldn't be a big deal to other people that Zel's a werewolf because it's not a big deal to you. You think because you were friends with Ollie and it was an accident it somehow makes what you did less hateful - but it doesn't Fig. If anything it makes it worse, here is this kid who trusted you, because I told him you weren't a total up himself wanker, and now everyone knows. Do you know he was attacked because his mother withheld Wolfsbane from his sister on purpose - that she had been treating his sister that way for years? School was his sanctuary Fig, somewhere he wouldn't have had to deal with that or worry about it," Sophie's voice raised a little in pitch and she had to close her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Ollie left because she couldn't deal with the looks, with the way Sasha treated her or didn't treat her, she never felt at home here again because everything has changed... and because of you? Now Zel gets to live that life too. Yea it's great that you don't have a problem with Werewolves, and in an ideal world no one else would either, but this isn't an ideal world Fig. You took his safety away from him, you took his ability to just be a sixteen year old boy - and because you did that, and you're a member of SAWS, now he doesn't trust any of us. The people who were most likely to accept him, to help him, and he wants nothing to do with us. You did not get the massive scale on which you have buggered this one up... and you think a piddly little I'm sorry is going to fix it, when you don't even know what you're supposed to be sorry for, not really".

Figaro was not prepared.  He'd thought he was. He'd counted on a diatribe.  He knew he'd have to sit and listen and bite his tongue.  But he was not prepared for what Sophie had in store.

Sophie started off calling his apology 'shitty' and immediately he sat back indignant, his impulse still to open his mouth to protest.  He had been serious with it and it stung to have it so easily dismissed.  He reached for his chalkboard and rubbed away the message with the side of his hand, but she hadn't even started.  Her held up finger stayed his movements to respond back in writing.  He just had to set his jaw and take it.

And that's what he did.  Arms crossed over his chest, Sophie told him what for.  He maintained eye contact for some time, but couldn't anymore when Sophie told him how Zel had become a werewolf.  What had led to his sister biting him.  He'd had no idea.  He bowed his head to scratch at his hairline and didn't look up again. 

By this time Fauna had written him, Zel had trapped him in the bathroom and demanded answers,  and Old Dusty and Ried had given him remarks about being disappointed, as well.  But this was different. 

Sophie talking about Ollie broke his heart.  He'd really cared for their mutual friend, their teenage werewolf mate with the laid-back style and chill attitude about her predicament.  She'd handled it so smoothly, it had seemed, that he had never really considered how much she might be struggling.  Why she left Hogwarts again, this time by her own choice, even after such a hard-fought battle to earn her spot back.  Figaro missed her, but he'd shrugged it off.  It hadn't been about him, but now he could see that it was. 

He wiped his eye with the heel of his hand.  There was a lump in his throat.  He was frowning deeply, an expression not seen oft on Figaro's face.  He'd felt like shit before; everyone was angry with him and treating him like he should be ashamed.  And he'd felt like an idiot, felt stupid for blurting out a secret.  But he hadn't felt real shame until now.  Until Sophie made him see.  He'd been selfish.  He hadn't taken the energy to really understand what Zel's life was like.  He didn't even try.  If he'd cared about Zel, it wouldn't have happened.  If Figaro had internalized the gravity of Zel's secret, then there was no way he'd allow it to just slip out.  He'd have kept it safe, like a proper friend should.  But he'd selfishly decided it wasn't a big deal.  Decided for Zel.  And his selfishness was the cause of so much pain.   But he hadn't possessed an ounce of basic human empathy.

He wiped his eyes again.  He wanted to be mad at Sophie for scolding him, but it would have been feeble and even he could see that.

Figaro did not know what to do with this.  He couldn't comprehend it.  Frozen for a few moments once Sophie stopped talking, he sighed.  And then slowly he got up and walked away from the table. 

The truly funny thing (well not funny haha, more funny sad) was that as angry as she was her diatribe was not meant to be malicious. She wasn't trying to hurt him (admittedly she wasn't trying not to either) she was just telling the truth. She couldn't have made him understand in a more damaging way, if it had been a proper fight - the kind they usually had, he'd have scribbled at her to fuck off and she'd have wanted to make his nose a little more crooked. For the first time in the entirty of their friendship she wasn't just angry with him she was ashamed of him. She felt that she had given him more credit than he ever deserved - but she owned that mistake and her part in this mess. SAWS being in trouble was as much her fault as it was Fig's, it's why she hadn't even brought up the fight. She just wanted to make him understand that there were people in the world who's feelings mattered as much as his did.

Apparently he was not capable of that, because while she was a Seer she wasn't a mind reader, she couldn't know that what she had said had sunk in hard. She couldn't know that he was walking away because for the first time in his life he was starting to understand the ramifications of living in Figaro-Land verses the real world. What she saw was him feeling sorry for himself, once again not wanting to listen when she had some truth to tell. As he slunk away she balled up the drawing of dead mini-Fig and threw it at him, beaning him in the neck (she really did have excellent aim), her voice both a low roar and a hiss, "You bloody wanking coward. You run away from everything when it doesn't go just your way don't you? Gordic's Garter's you're a smarmy little quitter. Helga is rolling about in her grave for all the ways you besmirch the name of Hufflepuff"!

The words stung more than the well-aimed wadded up parchment.   Figaro stopped when they hit.  Why was she such a pain in the arse? Meddling, vindictive girl, never letting him be!  Didn't matter that she was right - why did she have to be such a nasty little thing about?  Always in the back of his mind was the tragic annoyance of having so much to say and no words to do it.  He wanted to tell her to shut up, to leave him alone.  Message received, now back off!  He had to go think about this. 

Resolved, he turned back towards her to where he'd left his stuff.  His chalk board was still on the table near her things, and he rummaged quickly through his bag for a nub of chalk.  He wrote tight and fast, the chalk clicking and dragging in staccato rhythm.  Fig's jaw was set, and in his chest was a knot of anxiety.  Everything was catching up to him.  And Sophie needed to stop now.  Or maybe she didn't.  He didn't know.  Maybe he deserved her unrelenting wrath.

He wrote:[1]


When he was done, Figaro flicked the chalkboard back over to Sophie, and collapsed down in the chair again, laying his head in his arms. 

1.	Not quitting. I GET IT  I was selfish I know I am an arsehole Feel like shit. I don't know how to make it better but I want to try Quiet in the library.

And there was the impasse, the moment where he got it but what did it really change because she was still mad and still wanted to tell him all about himself. She wanted to make him feel worse but she didn't actually think that was possible at this particular moment... and how did one fix a problem like this? Or, rather, a problem like Figaro in general - this wasn't the first time he had failed to understand how his actions would negatively impact those around him until it was too late. There were a lot of things that Sophie had to be bitter about but one of them that she tried to make herself let go of was the fact he just pretended she didn't exist after her mother died. Yes, they had had a horrible break up, and it was a big scary thing... but he hadn't even tried. It didn't really make a difference now but it was something that nagged at her sometimes.

Taking a deep breath she narrowed her eyes at him a little before pushing the parchment containing a list of names toward him, "Alright - you want to help, tell me how we're going to keep SAWS going since clearly my answer was to break your nose," there was a certain note of cheekiness as she sat back in the chair, "We can't undo what we've done - and we fuggered it up pretty bad, but if we find the right person to lend credibility and stability to the group as a co-leader we might be able to pull this year back together before it gets worse,"  she was chewing her bottom lip, leaning over the list trying not to hopelessly shake her head, "The thing was, last year with Dion and Fauna we had balance.  Fauna had heart and Di had discipline and detachment. All the members this year have hair trigger emotions. First meeting proved that," she sighed and raked her fingers through her hair, "Thoughts"?

Face buried in his arms, Figaro just sighed and let himself wallow while Sophie read his chalkboard.  He couldn't see how this could ever be fixed, how he could feel better.  How Zel or Sophie could ever feel better.  That was the funny thing about realizing you screwed up for the first time - you didn't have any real practice in how to get over it.  It was like a deluge of ice water.  It was so shocking and complete to the bone that you felt like you'd never feel warm again.

He heard her sigh and felt her sit down next to him again.  She pushed a paper towards him, and he looked up just enough to slide it over in front of his face.  It was the 'hit list'.  But it turned out just to be a list of names of SAWS people.  Amberlee, Nick Bevans, bunch of first and second years, Ollie was there but crossed off, and Heinrich Faust was at the bottom.  When compared to upstanding citizens like Fauna and Dion, it looked pretty dismal.

If not Sophie, then who?

He stared at it silently, his mind mostly on his own troubles, but trying to pick out someone from the list who might be a good leader of the group.  At least until things smoothed over.

Figaro was still had his head laying in his arms, but he poked at this list.  Tapping a couple of names.

Josh
Church
And Sophie's cousin Peony

Then he shrugged and reached for the chalk and chalk board again.  He wiped away his old message with the side of his hand, and wrote another. [1]


Fig shrugged again, still having not looked up at Sophie. 

1.	maybe a teacher? Fraiser?

Sophie sighed and nudged him with her knee, "Alright, stop feeling sorry for yourself and be useful. Zel's basically forgiven you - though God knows how, and why since he still isn't even speaking to me," she tried not to sound hurt and she underlined his suggestions, "Church doesn't want to be more involved than he already is... and Josh would be insufferable," she made a small guilty face - it wasn't that she didn't like Harcroft, she just liked him best in very small doses. She almost choked at the suggestion of Peony, "Only if you want two Flickwicks to have broken your nose in the last month. Noni has a temper, plus she's really there because I'm there..." her voice trailed off as she rested her head in her hand. It seemed so hopeless at this point. She did consider his suggestion of a professor but shook her head, "He's the most likely to get involved if we asked, but I think most of the staff has taken a middle of the road stance on the whole thing if they're not outspokenly opposed".

Reaching over with her quill she tickled the dower looking Figaro in the ear, "Come on, chin up. We've got to think about this and we might actually make it through a conversation without yelling this once. I like you much better when you can't talk," she was trying to lighten the mood because as much as she wanted him to really let it sink in how much he had hurt the people around him the aura of guilt between them was enough to drown in at this point. "It'd be best if it was maybe someone friends with Zel, someone he could trust... I don't know if he and Sasha have...talked but I can't imagine it would go well," she frowned a little, lines forming in her forehead, "You know Ollie went to him, tried to reason with him over the summer, before your Quidditch party I think. He wanted no part of it. I know he's your friend... but," she stopped and just shook her head. Thinking about it wasn't going to make it change, make it any easier for Zel.

"What if we think outside the core members? I mean students who have that levelheadedness that don't seem completely freaked out by SAWS? I thought I might talk to Raine...she offers a proper counter balance to my personality. She's always measured and was basically the only student who didn't seem to get caught up in the drama and worked to stop or at least slow the fight. I mean at least she didn't get behind Canterbury's plan to sew your mouth shut," there were aspects of the fight now that seemed almost laughable - not that Sophie laughed, it was far too serious a matter but it had had it's moments. Chewing on her thumbnail she idly bumped the toe of one shoe against her heel, she felt very fidgety now that Figaro was in her little cubby with her, "D'you suppose Xaiver is really interested in the group or he showed up once and that's that? We could maybe ask one of the Americans but that seems like a last resort," the more she talked it out the deeper the little worry lines in her forehead became.

Batting at the quill, Figaro came up from the table about half way, leaning his head on his hand to face Sophie.  His eyes were kind of red and the normally cheerful boy looked tired. She was probably right about Josh and Noni, and he couldn't blame Church for wanting to stay out of it.  But who else?  And Sophie talked on. 

He listened, captive. But it wasn't so bad now that she'd ripped him a new one.  He didn't feel like smiling when she'd said she liked him better when he couldn't talk - she wasn't the first to say that to him.  So instead he offered a fake smile and an eye-roll that said 'ha ha good one'. 

Just bringing up Sasha's name, in relation to all this, made Figaro wince like he had to gag.  Sasha was going to be horrible about this.  He was a good friend, but incredibly neurotic.  Fig hadn't heard either, but he predicted that Sasha'd leave the country in protest or build up a fortress of Chemistry textbooks.   Sophie didn't need to make any apologies to Figaro about Sasha - Fig knew.  Sasha was not the guy for this.  At. All.

Raine Almasy?  The Gryffindor prefect was alright in Figaro's book, but she was kind of serious.  Maybe that's what they needed though.  Someone serious.  God, Sophie talked a lot.  But maybe she was right.  Figaro just couldn't tell.   But he could tell sorting this out was important to her.  Raine seemed good.  He nodded an affirmative.

Figaro didn't even really feel a part of SAWS - he mostly went for Ollie, and then to socialize and for snacks, but now?  He hadn't actually considered going back.  Ollie was gone, Zel didn't like the club, so what was it for now?  But he couldn't say that.  It was too much to write, anyway.  And Sophie would probably get angry - she wanted to save it like Gryffindors do.

But no! He quickly scribbled out another message. [1]


Figaro emphasized his point with a dark, slow shaking of his head.  Figaro knew Xavier well and he knew he was probably not in the club to help anyone out.  That kid was just getting wierd lately.  He would not be good as the face of SAWS.  Unless SAWS was a club about saw appreciation.  Actual saws that cut things.  Like bodies. 

1.	NOT XAVIER

Sophie's eyes lingered on the list, tapping it with her quill. It all seemed so hopeless, it was a right buggered mess and there didn't seem to be a way to fix it. So much of what had been important about SAWS in the previous year...they had accomplished and they had done so working in opposition with the powers that be. It was as if that animosity and their love for Ollie had fueled them. Now what (or who) did they have to stand for? Ollie hadn't been able to take the pressure, she just didn't fit in the Hogwarts setting anymore. There was Zel, they could try to help him but...well when someone wasn't speaking to you it was rather difficult to be there for them.

Knotting her fingers in her hair she gave a deep sigh, heels of her hands pressed into her forehead, "It's all so rotten. I thought if I just kept moving, if I just kept doing things, life would start feeling normal again. I would start feeling normal again. It was so much easier before, when it was just this idea of injustice for Ollie. When what mattered was being sure she was treated fairly. Somehow I've gone and ruined that so much there might not be anything worth saving. How many people in that room care, really care, about making change - and how do you help people that want nothing to do with you"? She sounded tired and maybe a little helpless, "I'm only sixteen. How the hell am I supposed to know how to fix this shite"?

She glanced down at his chalkboard then and shook her head, "Goordic's Garters, I'm not daft Fig. I'd kill him if he had to work together. I just meant..." she trailed off and shrugged her shoulders, "I guess I just meant do you think it's like last year, people from Slytherin trying to get in good so they can kick us when we're down," she was chewing on her thumbnail, worry lines deepening in her eyebrows. There was so much to do, so much to think about. Sometimes she just wanted to turn it all off, go back to when things had seemed so simple. She could almost see Fig's eyes glazing over as she got to close to being emotional. Letting out a long breath she shook her head, "I just wanted to have a decent year with my best friend, and now what? I'm breaking ex-boyfriend's noses".

Figaro shrugged a couple of times when Sophie's tone indicated a question, but mostly he didn't know know what to sea.  Even if he could say. 

He kind of knew how Sophie felt.  Except Sophie was obsessing about how she could fix things, continue SAWS despite it seeming hopeless.  But Figaro... his inclination was just to walk away from it.  If it wasn't working, and just pissing everyone off, maybe just scrap it and move on.  Not that he could tell her that.  It wouldn't help her feel better, nor would it help his reputation with her.  The last thing he wanted was for her to think he'd deliberately sabotaged something she was so passionate about, or that he'd meant to hurt Zel and Ollie.  In just thinking about it, his deep frown returned.

He didn't want to be responsible for breaking SAWS, but he really didn't want to be responsible for figuring out how to rebuild it.  It was too daunting.  He was horrible at all that...leadership, social justice, bake-sale stuff. 

Wait! A bake sale!  He perked up! And then sublty shook his head.  It was a shit idea.  A bakesale for what? 

He smiled at her last joke and huffed out a silent laugh.  He touched his nose and shrugged.  It was all fixed up, but he thought it might look a little crooked now.  He looked at Sophie, so sad and dejected and deflated. She still looked pretty though, and how she cared so damn much made her seem even more lovely.  Under the table he moved his leg to bump his knee against hers.

He didn't know what advice to offer, or consolation to give her, or how he could help at all.  And that bummed him out.

In a way just being able to say the things on her mind out loud helped. It was hard for her to admit but she was learning the hard way she couldn’t do it all. Somehow just saying those things, asking those questions and seeing that someone else didn’t have any answers either made it a little better. Not all the way better of course, all the way better would involve some kind of resolution, an answer to the problem. Maybe she would talk to Church, even if she didn’t think he’d be interested in helping provide guidance to SAWS. He hadn’t seemed very happy being forced into the meeting with Headmaster Reid… then again who wanted to meet with the Headmaster after you’d been connected to an embarrassing splotch on Hogwart’s reputation. She could feel the way the foreign Professors had looked at them all with disdain before they’d been lead out to the hospital hut and all that… or she had before she passed out anyway.

She felt Fig’s knee bump up against hers reassuringly. This was the nicest conversation they’d had in a long time. Of course he couldn’t really talk so that might have had something to do with it. She gave him a wane smile and bumped him with her shoulder, letting her head of dark curls rest there for a moment. Sometimes she remembered why she liked him, there were these little moments when flashes of the person she thought she knew came up, between bursts of him being the most annoying loud mouthed git on the planet. It wasn’t often that he was still and quiet, that he listened, but when he did there was this little spark of hope in her heart for him yet. Maybe he finally got what it was like when you had to be acutely aware of how everything you did impacted people around you, maybe this time he’d learn his lesson. History told her it was highly unlikely, but there was that little ember of hope that somehow Fig could find a middle ground between being himself and being so totally oblivious. Linking her pinky with his she let out a long breath, voice soft, “Thanks, for listening I mean. I know you hate when I go goopy and sentimental”. 

When Sophie returned his knee bump with a head bonk and a pinky-hold, Figaro's first thought was to wonder if he should try to kiss her.  Should he?  Probably not.  Sure, she was being all nice right now, but just a few moments ago they'd been in a fight.  Had that been a fight?  But either way.  Probably not.  He did miss kissing her.  But he just settled for the linked-pinkies for now.

He was looking at her face.  They'd had a meaningful discussion.  It was good.  She seemed to feel better.  He felt better too.  Nothing was different, nothing was solved, but it was nice that Sophie didn't hate him anymore.  He shrugged and made a helpless face when she thanked him.  He hadn't had a choice!  He was Silence and now she had him locked down because of her Pinkie Death Grip.

There was a long pause (that Figaro might have normally filled with noise), and Figaro was looking calmly at her face.  He leaned closer, turned his head...

From what Sophie could gather there were three types of boys: Chance - the ever noble who looked after her and protected her, Deus who swept her up in a crazy whirlwind of adventure and heart flutters and kisses that were nearly scandalous, and then there were boys like Figaro. Well, no one was exactly like Figaro because he was sort of this rare boy creature made of unstoppable energy and an inability to see the bigger picture or five minutes into the future when he would inevitably stick his foot in his mouth. He made her crazy; but he made her crazy because she knew there was more to him than he let most people see, than maybe even he was aware of himself. He was infuriating and frustrating... and also sweet, and funny, and goofy - most of all he was confusing.

Her stomach fluttered a little as he leaned in, head tilted to the side, eyes half lidded. Later she would blame it on instinct, that when someone leaned in to kiss you, you automatically just leaned in to kiss them back. In that moment however her heart thudded in her ears and the breath dried up in her lungs. The feel of the kiss was disarmingly familiar and nice - not at all the anaconda trying to unhinge it's jaw and devour her face whole that she had come to association with the memory of kissing him. And for just that second of time the world seemed to slow down, to stop moving, her pinkie still linked with his, the fingers of her other hand curling around the edge of the desk for a moment. 

When she pulled back to look at him, her brown eyes fluttered for a moment before going wide. She...was not supposed to be kissing Figaro Sellaphix! It was just not that way anymore. They were friends, mates, buddies, pals, twenty minutes ago she'd been drawing a cartoon of him being pelted to death with an apple. Her cheeks flushed a faint crimson as she looked down at their joined fingers and pulled away as unobtrusive but quickly as possible. She gave cough as she shuffled the pile of papers in front of her before checking her watch. "Shite. Sorry. I've got Herbology in ten. I'm going to have sprint to make it. Um.. We'll talk more later," she gave him a mildly pained look as she shoved all her things in her back in a very unSophie like rush and nearly sprinted out of the library despite the possibility of attracting attention for Master Morgan, thankful Fig wasn't taking Herbology this year.