Zel Trumble
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School
Scotland

Fauna Blake
Ministry of Magic
London

Miss Fauna,

As far as I know, you are the one responsible for creating and maintaining SAWS. I feel like you should know that SAWS has not exactly made it’s reputation a good one. From my understanding, it is a club that is supposed to support werewolf equality, and respect those who want their lycanthrophy to be kept secret from their peers. Some werewolves want to keep it secret because of the embarrassment and harassment that being a werewolf can bring, and some want to keep it a secret due to the circumstances leading up to the attack. For many, it is a combination of both.

For me, it was both.

My family has a long history with werewolves. The attack that infected my sister and scarred my brother also killed my father. As you may already know, my older sister, Emeline, attacked me in July because my mother withheld her wolfsbane. (Samuel Harcroft and his wife are dealing with that case.) Being a werewolf is very new to me, even though I grew up around one. I also grew up around the hate that can be directed towards werewolves and their families.

Sophie Flickwick was a safe person to tell about the attack my condition. After a long discussion, I realized that it would probably be best if I told my roommates. They’d figure it out eventually. I told them to keep it a secret.

Unfortunately, one of the SAWS members, Figaro, could not keep it a secret.

How can I be expected to trust a club that has become about outing werewolves, rather than helping them? How can I possibly support a club that has apparently changed in such a negative way? Obviously, the club did not help Olivia Foley, because she left during the last full moon. I’m frustrated, confused, and hurt about the whole bloody situation.

I don’t know why I’m contacting you. Maybe I’m hoping you can knock some sense into those who only cause harm when they’re supposed to help. Maybe I just want you to know where SAWS stands. I honestly don’t know. The whole thing is just so bewildering. How am I supposed to support SAWS now?

Fauna Blake
Radford Estate
London, UK

Zel Trumble
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School
Scotland

Dear Zel,

I’m so sorry that Fig told people.  And I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you. With everything that’s happened this is the last thing you need. No one should have to go through so much pain. I hope your family is ok and I’m grateful Harcroft is on the case. I’ve seen how he works, he’s very through and he won’t let you down.

I’ve been talking to Fig and he doesn't get it at all. He says sorry, but... It’s like all he wants is to just move on without learning anything or why people are hurt and mad.

Did Ollie tell you she left because SAWS didn't do enough? That hurts so much.

I wish I could reassure you that everybody in SAWS is trustworthy and this kind of thing will never happen again, but I can’t. SAWS stands for good things, it's done some good things. It's made up of students who genuinely care and can handle it, and students who, well, we don't know why or where they're at with what they feel. But it only takes one person to mess it all up. You think you can trust someone, you think you're friends, and then they do this.

I don't know what to do, Zel. You don't deserve that, and I'm sorry. 

~Fauna

Zelig Trumble
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School
Scotland

Fauna Blake
Radford Estate
London, UK

Miss Fauna,

Ollie did not have to tell me anything. It was obvious. She got to the point to where it simply hurt for her to be at the school anymore. I don’t think there is anything SAWS could have done.  I don’t think there is anything that SAWS could do to change anything about how werewolves are treated. No matter what, there will be people out there who do not like or trust us, and who could blame them? If werewolves were properly regulated, the disease would die out, wouldn’t it?

I’m not saying that werewolves need to be denied basic human rights, but they have a responsibility to make sure that nobody else around them gets hurt. I know Emeline would have taken every precaution she could if she was allowed that freedom. Not enough werewolves are allowed to take wolfsbane, and so many of them slip through the cracks because the ministry does not pay enough attention to them.

I must be going mad. I don’t know how to react to this sort of thing—I mean, the day Figaro blurted out my bloody secret, I kicked him. Apparently it wasn’t enough, because later that night I resorted to throwing a blanket over Figaro and wrapping him up in it. I don’t even know why. It was just something that I had to do. I believe that he is sorry, and I believe that this experience will force him to grow up and change, and the sadistic part of me wanted to do that to him. (And yes, it was just as funny as it sounds.)

Please, please don’t tell me that I don’t deserve this. I really do. I should not have expected anybody to keep it a secret for me. I’m feeling so much ambivalence, but I do know that it is my fault. It’s my fault (And to some extent, my mother’s) that I was bitten, and it is my fault that everybody started beating on each other. I could have reacted in a mature way, and I didn’t. I kicked the guy who blurted it out and wrapped him in blankets on the bathroom floor.

Sorry, I am sure you have much more important things to be doing than responding to the whiny letters of some student.

Dear Zel,

Don't be so hard on yourself, ok? I know what it's like to feel guilty, like dispreportionatly guilty (Merlin I can't spell) about things. But you know what? You are the person whos been wronged here.  You weren’t wrong for trusting Fig, or the club. Fig was wrong for betraying you. You weren't at fault for anything that has happened. I'm sorry, I don't know if I should be telling you that, I'm not a werewolf and I can't pretend to know what you go through, but it's what I believe.

Sometimes the most passive, nice people just... need an outlet too. I'm not saying go around and kick people when they piss you off. But that reaction makes sense to me, thinking about what situation you were in and all the stress. This sounds ridiculously corny, but if the worst thing you do in your life is kick Figaro one time, you might just be some kind of saint. (A saint who pulls pig-in-the-blanket moves. I wish I could have seen his face!)

I wish SAWS could have done more for Ollie, for you. Could do more? I just don't know what that is. Or if I should  I understand what you are saying, and struggle with the same reality sometimes. There needs to be a balance between werewolves taking responsibility to protect themselves and protect other people from themselves, and everyone else truly reaching out to them and making it an easy situation to do that. When right now it's still so hard. There's still so much stigma, so many barriers.

At school, I always went to Tulo when bad things happened. She could be there for you too. And Zel, this might sound barmy, but if you need to talk to someone, you can write to me. I've only just graduated, and I don't know you well but I've known you for along time. Being a Hufflepuff still counts for something. You can write to me. If you want to.

~Fauna

Miss Fauna,

You’re too kind. I think you would have handled this situation a lot better than I am. Figaro’s face was pretty funny, but Heliotrope decided to walk in and make the entire situation more awkward by tenfold.  I don’t think she even understood what was going on, but that bit worries me even more. What’s she going to say to the rest of the house? I don’t fancy Figaro or anything! But I do fancy Sasha.

I don’t know who to talk to. I mean, I can write letters to you but it’s not the same as actually talking to someone and having them respond to you immediately, and be there for you in person. The counselor is nice and all, but I’ve known Mai since before I ever attended Hogwarts. She dated my brother, for merlin’s sake. It’s too weird.

I don’t know how I feel about seeing Tulojow. Sasha spends a lot of time there, and I think he’s going to hate me. He’s going to hate me so much, and there’s nothing I can do. Professor Sandusky is intimidating, but his monkey is nice. I can’t exactly have a conversation with a monkey about my situation. I’ll look mad. I would usually talk to Garrett (my brother) about this, but he hasn’t responded to any of my owls. He’s too busy trying to lead a muggle life with his pregnant muggle fiancé. Garrett doesn’t care about any of us anymore.

I’m so powerless, Fauna. I feel like I’m breaking, and it’s complete shite.

Sorry, sorry. I’m so sorry for throwing this all on you. You don’t deserve to have to listen to all of my whining.

Dear Zel,

If Heliotrope was the only one who saw, you should be ok! Most students shrug off the things she says as strange. That sounds bad. The only thing you really need to worry about with her is if you have pets. She doesn’t know which animals to practice transfiguration on, or at least she didn’t last year. Poor Bernie! My rat almost turned into a sea muscle.

I’m sorry there aren’t professors or anyone you’d feel comfortable talking to. All I can think of is Tulo. O Morain was nice to me too but he’s not there anymore. It’s hard when there are alot of changes with professors staying and going, you know?

If Sasha can’t accept you, that’s his loss. If he can’t look past his own pr

Whenever I talk about Sasha I get upset, so I’ll just say that you deserve to have friends who will accept you, and being a werewolf is a part of you. I don’t think you owe anyone any explanation or anything. You should have been able to tell whoever you wanted in your own time, and Fig didn’t let you do that.

Sophie feels horrible about what happened and I know she cares about you. I don’t know if You don’t have to do anything but I thought I’d tell you just in case. Some people might surprise you, too. When I was having a hard time my seventh year, sometimes it was the people I didn’t expect who would talk to me. People who didn’t know I existed, or used to make fun of me before. It was strange, but in a good way.

Don’t worry about whinging to me! I mean, not really whinging. You know what I mean. I wrote to a friend when I was in school and it kept me sane at times. I think Akiva is much better at giving advice than I am. Though I can try?

~Fauna

Miss Fauna,

How is Bernie doing after the trauma? I’m sure he’s smart enough to understand that Helio was about to perform some risky magic on him. I do feel a bit better knowing that people won’t take her too seriously, but it also makes me feel bad for her. I mean, she deserves to be friedns with people who won’t treat her as if she’s some sort of dangerous creature. She isn’t, she’s alienating. I have to say that I am also guilty of that. She still intimidates me. It’s bloody stupid. She’s so small and I’m so big that I could accidentally step on her. (That was a joke)

Tulo would be nice, but Sasha’s always around the hut to spend time with the horses. It makes me so nervous that I feel like I’m going to explode.

I feel awful about Sophie. She is trustworthy, she is. I was hurt, and I said things that I didn’t really mean because I was so shocked. I don’t trust SAWS still. I can’t support it. But that doesnt mean that I dont trust Sophie. I’m making her a bracelet right now. I want to apologize to her in some way. I hope that giving her a gift would let her know that I forgive her. I can’t even look at her because I’m so ashamed about what I said.

Who is Akiva? Is she your sister or an aunt?
P.s: Are gryffindor colrs for Sophie's bracelet too tacky? Would she like that?

Dear Zel,

You’re right. I kind of lost it when Heliotrope put that spell on Bernie, but she didn’t really understand what she was doing. Hopefully someone explained it to her, cause I was too mad at the time. Does she have any friends there? I had a tough time as a first younger year just as a muggleborn (and me being me) so I can’t imagine how much more out of place she feels. (I am sure if you almost step on her she would simply transfigure your shoe into a sponge creature)

Maybe I should adopt the whole Hufflepuff house except for Fig. You think that would go over well with your head of house? Haha. But I miss you lot, really.

I’m sorry. Sasha does have that annoying habit of being around the hospital hut at bad times. Tulo’s pretty objective though. I’ve never known her to turn away anybody no matter what they feel or think or do.

I don’t mean to make you feel bad about Sophie. I think she would understand why you said what you did, you know? It was more being frustrated that made you say it. She would love a bracelet from you! Gryffindor colours sound perfect.

Akiva is like an older sister to me, but we’re not actually related. She’s a She used to be a librarian at the Ministry and now she is working in that new Muggle Affairs department with her husband Mr. Eleor. I admire her so much. She’s been through a lot, but she’s one of the most positive people I know, and has always been really kind to me. We met last summer, and then kept in touch through Tulo, and now we can hang out more often because I’m out of school. Well, sort of. I don't have to wait for school breaks but I'm pretty busy with Auror training.

~Fauna

Zelig Trumble
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts School
Scotland

Fauna Blake
Radford Estate
London, UK

December 14, 2009

Fauna,

Sorry I haven't written you in so long. Sophie enjoys the bracelet I made.  Things are starting to look up for me, but I'm still not sure what's going on as far as my sister and my mom goes-- I heard legal issues can take awhile to be dealt with. I hope there'll be a court date set over winter break so that I don't have to miss any classes. 

I have a date to the Yule Ball! It seemed like I was her last resort, but I don't mind. Her name is Winifred Oliver. Technically, I asked her, but I think she wanted me to ask her. Professor Trishna took Sasha and I to get new robes over Hogsmeade weekend, so I don't have to wear my father's old ones.  Should I have a yellow tie to match Winifred's dress or should I try to transfigure a dress shirt yellow and wear a black tie?

December 15, 2009

Zel!

It's good to hear from you! I hope everything works out ok with your family. Congrats on a date to the Yule Ball, with Winnie, too. She's a sweetheart.  And a bit boy crazy, as you've probably figured out.

I'll be seeing you both there! Because I have a date too! No, not with a student (laugh it up), but you know, an adult. A professional bloke who works at St. Mungo's. His name is Flynn Hughes. I have a big crush. I'm going to be blushing the whole night, and I have to figure out how to dance - actually dance, not just shuffle around and lean on my date.

I can't wait!

Over the weekend I got a blue dress from a place that rents outfits for these kinds of things. I sent a photo to my mum and it's got her stamp of approval, but a few of my housemates said 'make it shorter!' I don't know, aren't dresses supposed to be long for the ball?

So I guess, you know, the yellow tie seems nice to me but that's me. I'm sure you will look good either way and Winnie will be thrilled to go with you!

~Fauna

I haven't heard of Flynn Hughes. I don't go to St. Mungos very often. Does he now how to dance? If he doesn't know how to dance it's not as bad because then you two can shuffle together. I think I might do that with Winnie.  I know we're going to have dance lessons but I am so tall that I don't know if I could ever dance properly.

I don't think dresses are supposed to be short for the Yule Ball. If I wore a dress, it'd be a long one. But I'm not going to wear a dress. Ugh, I'm even awkward on paper.

I'll get the yellow tie then.

I think during winter break I'm going to have the court date about the whole situation. I hope my mom gets sentenced. I'm so worried that she won't. I feel like such a bad person for wanting her to go to such a horrible place, but she's a horrible person. I don't like thinking that people are horrible.  As an auror do you think that people can become good people or do you think they'll awful forever?

Sorry I'm being so depressing now. It's just on my mind.

Dear Zel,

At least I can count on you to shuffle around the ballroom while I'm shuffling. Really, it makes me feel better. The yellow tie will look nice!

But I'm sorry, Zel. I don't know how to answer, about the situation. I'm not sure that even Aurors could tell you for sure.

I guess, just from my own experience, I think it depends on the person. Maybe good or bad doesn't matter? I think what you have to focus on is not weather or not they can change, but how they act now and what their past actions are. It's only fair to you, because you shouldn't have to put up with - you know. If she goes to Azkaban it's because she did stuff that put her there, and it's ok to be glad because it means she can't hurt you and your siblings anymore. If she wants to change, she has time to do it in Azkaban. Does that sound harsh?

Sometimes, I don't know, you have to step back and let people dig their own hole, even if you love them. If it's a choice between trying to save someone and surviving - you are the most important.

Well, at least that's something my mum has said. But she's smart about these things. It must be really hard, you having to go through this. You're not depressing me, don't worry!

~Fauna