After Dinner
Hufflepuff commons


Dinner had been slow, though Zel had managed to eat a bit more than he usually did. Ever since he had become a werewolf, he had felt cravings for foods that he’d never had serious cravings for before. At the same time, the idea of him being a werewolf was so strange and unfamiliar, that he just could not eat. He lacked an appetite, but still wanted food. It was a dilemma. It was obvious by his drastic weight loss over the last couple months, that he had chosen to not eat, rather than give in to all of his cravings. It felt like he had control over something that his lycanthropy gave him. Just because he had cravings, he did not need to follow through with them. Zel needed that sense of control.

He was going to spend his Sunday night studying, and also learning all he possibly could about different laws surrounding werewolves. He felt like he needed to, if not for his sake, but for Emeline’s. Zel sat down at a table and pulled out a few textbooks from his bookbag. There were a couple from the library, mostly relaying information about the history of lycanthropy, and even about laws surrounding it. He wanted to talk to Ollie, the werewolf in both his house and his year, but the two had never been close. He had never really talked to her, aside from when they went to the ministry for the full moon.

Zel was afraid that if he talked to her, she would view it as strange and unusual. Granted, it would be. He was also afraid that people around them would find it strange that he was talking to her, when he hadn’t made much of an effort to in the past. She was friends with Sophie though, and Zel hoped that he could eventually, become friends with the Gryffindor was well.

Dinner, one of her favourite meals of the day. Oh who was she kidding all the meals were the favourite of the day it just depended which one she was actually participating in. Though Ollie did have a preference for breakfast because it always meant bacon was on the offering. Mmm bacon. Sadly the dinner that evening had no included bacon. Though as usual there was some form of delicious meat that she was able to sink her teeth into. Of course with heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. When Ollie had left the Hufflepuff dining table she had been stuffed to almost unable to move, but as the time since dinner had pushed forward she was feeling less stuffed and hinting towards peckish. Oh yes, she was indeed considering the option of more food or at the very least breaking into her candy stash that evening. Of course there was the consideration of sneaking off to the kitchens. Oh yes, a gal like Ollie had figured that secret out years ago. The kitchen was a place where she wanted to be most of the time.

Though she probably should sit down and do a bit of homework. With prefect rounds and getting back into the swing of scheduled classes she didn't wish to fall behind. After a year off, even with tutors, there was a lot of catching up to do. Olivia was a bit behind in the subject matter of the sixth years, not her fault though considering she passed her OWLs with suitable grades. Even Professor Trishna had said today that she had good grades with her OWLs, but she was not used to the structure of some of the lectures or the teaching styles. At least she felt comfortable in Care of Magical Creatures, that stuff just didn't change. Plus Professor Hagrid had seemed rather nice even if rather tall. She felt oddly comfortable around the Half Giant, maybe because he was slightly different just like her. Ollie felt different being 'out' about the whole werewolf thing it felt different. Maybe because she felt like people were glaring at her or thinking things judgementally. It also didn't help that she had attacked someone and could finally see what type of monster she could be. Ollie had never felt like such a beast before. She always knew there was the animal side of her and it was easy to hide how she felt and the struggles she felt away, maybe because she had been able to hide it with the fact she was a werewolf. She was able to be as close to a normal girl, as nobody expected anything else. Ollie had never been a 'normal' girl though, she had never experienced a life (that she could remember) without transforming once a month. So it was nice to at least pretend. She didn't get that opportunity anymore.

Ollie finally picked up her homework from her dorm before hoping back down the steps towards the common room. She sat down at a table and spied the albino boy Zel. "Mind if I use some of the table space?" She asked nicely not sure what he would say. After all they had never been what you could call close before the whole expulsion thing. Now it was a case of whether he was okay with the whole werewolf thing, even though he was one. Ollie hated having to think about whether someone would react negatively to her presences because of what she was. In Zel's case he was not out and she sometimes wondered whether he would prefer to distance his contact with her so people never suspected him. He was gone just like she was at the same time, what if the boys in the dorm questioned him and what if they noticed them hanging out or something. See, many things to think about she never had to think about before at Hogwarts. She hadn't realized just how hard it would be to be back at school outed as a werewolf. Ollie hadn't realized just how slightly unhappy she would be back at the one place she had wanted to go more than anything. Sometimes she wondered if it would just be easier to be back home with her tutors rather than here with all the in your face judgement.

"I can go if you would prefer," she said with a nervousness in her voice. Funny how right now across from a fellow werewolf she could feel so nervous about rejection. What she wouldn't give to have her best friend Sophie at her side, or even her new friend Corey. Weird. Zel was no different from her. He was overcoming some of the same things she had done so before. She shouldn't be afraid of him. Ollie looked Zel with an awkward smile and her bushy mop of blonde hair falling into her face as always.

Speak of the devil.

Zel couldn’t help but chuckle nervously when she showed up. After all, he had just been thinking about her. He was nervous, yes, about people suspecting that he was a werewolf if he spent time around Ollie. After all, it was no secret that she was a werewolf. However, his sister was a werewolf as well. If people questioned him, he figured that he could bring up his sister, who was very open about it. Werewolves were people too, and they shared the same human emotions as everybody else. Although he hadn’t been a werewolf until July of 2009, his sister had been one for approximately a decade. He looked at Olivia with kindness in his exhausted eyes.

In that awkward silence, his stomach began to growl rather loudly. Obviously, his body was furious at him for not eating as much as he should. However, Zelig did his very best to ignore it. “O-of course you can sit down.” He said softly, moving some of his textbooks so that she could have room. “I was actually just th-thinking about you.” Zel hoped that didn’t come across as creepy or flirtatious. It was the last thing he wanted to do. Right now, he knew that he was not quite stable enough to be in a relationship with anybody. He was just trying to show Ollie a kindness, to show her that he did not mind if she talked to him, and that he would appreciate it if she did.

Zel had so many questions to ask her; there were numerous things that he wondered. He had read up on lycanthropy, but at the same time it was not like talking to someone who was afflicted with it. Emeline was out of the question, due to the fact that she was in holding. The first year was also a new werewolf, and he hated to pressure someone new with all of his questions, when she probably had questions herself.  “Do you have a lot of homework to do?” He asked, before mentally berating himself. That was not even close to any of the questions he truly had to ask her, but at least it was a start. Every new friendship began with a few awkward icebreakers, didn’t it?

Deep down, Zel so hoped that he and Olivia could eventually become friends. 

"Awesome, thanks," Ollie said as she dropped into the seat and started to pull her books and quills from her bag. She hadn't exactly expected conversation with Zel, not that she was opposed to it. They had just never been overly conversational before. Perhaps that was her fault that she had never made the effort to get to know him before. He was kind of quiet though, so maybe that was something to do with it? She didn't really know. Though she did hear the sound of his stomach growl. "Hungry?" She questioned as she placed her hands on her books.

"Thinking about me?" Ollie was a tad confused by this statement. "Did you need me for something?" Ollie had not gone to the thought of flirtation or anything like that. After all she never imagined people being actively interested in pursuing a relationship with the likes of her. After all the last few times she had let herself drift into the realms of crushes it was a disaster. Fauna had been a total bust and now she rarely even spoke to her friend. Devlin had also been devastating mainly because he ended up dating Fauna. Though Devlin had been the last boy to hold her attention. Heather had been nice, but muggle and there was too much to keep from her. And now she felt these strange pangs for Sophie. Though she really was curious as to why Zel had thought about her because it definitely couldn't be in a flirtatious manner. Was it something she had done? Had she done anything?

"Um not too much really," Ollie said with a shrug. "I just want to keep on top of things. After missing last year I am a tad behind." It wasn't completely behind but she just had to put in some effort. Ollie didn't mind putting in the extra effort, she always had done you had to when you disappeared from school for a day or two. "So if you need to talk to me about anything I am all ears." Ollie said with a smile. She placed her elbow on the table and her chin rested on her hand. She had no idea what to expect from Zel.

Zel gave Ollie a sheepish smile, and a light blush came over his face when she asked if he was hungry. He gave her a noncommittal nod, not wanting to really answer either way. He was hungry, yes. He just did not want people to offer him food—he always felt guilty eating food that belonged to someone else, even if it was offered to him. It wasn’t that his family was particularly poor, but with six siblings, food could run out fairly quickly. 

“Err, yes… I was thinking about you. I… Actually had a few questions.” He looked down at his textbook. Making eye contact was not exactly an easy feat. Zel felt like he had accomplished a lot already by merely talking to her, and allowing her to sit down next to him. It was common courtesy, and he would have done that for just about anybody who asked. It was highly unlikely that he would continue a conversation with any other person, though. Ollie was different. The two had something in common, something huge, something life-altering. 

He brought his hand up to his chin,  “I was just wondering if… You ever had problems with cravings and… Emotions?” Zel wasn’t sure how to phrase that correctly. It sounded almost as if he was talking to a pregnant woman. Asking about her cravings and emotions. He felt ridiculous, but Zel did not know any other way to ask. He had been feeling stronger emotions ever since the bite. He wasn’t sure if it was because of physical changes, or if it was because of the pure mental stress it put on him.

The Hufflepuff finally forced himself to look at his fellow student. Although she looked like a sweet person, he had a feeling that she herself, had faced quite a bit of adversity. Zel suspected that her life was not as squeaky clean as some may have thought. But then again, whose lives are ever absolutely perfect?

She saw that nod of his head, "Well the kitchens aren't far away." Ollie said with a shrug. She would gladly let another fellow werewolf know her little secret information. She never liked to assume that people knew all the secrets of Hogwarts. Ollie particularly liked knowing the secrets of how to get into the kitchens, sometimes she needed a little something extra being the whole werewolf thing. Thinking about the kitchens and the food she smiled a little, it really was making her get a little hungry. But it was obvious Zel had something on his mind and she was going to sit around and wait till he let it out. Ollie really wanted to help him out and a little bit of hunger was something she could ignore. Ollie truly wanted bacon though, mmm bacon.

"Ah," Ollie nodded her head and she sat up a little straight and moved a little closer. Considering Zel was not out to the world about the whole werewolf thing she wanted keep it quiet. Ollie really wanted to welcome the questions and curiosities about the whole werewolf thing, she didn't want to push him away or make him feel awkward. Last thing she wanted was him being outed because of something that had been overheard. "I will say that the process and effect on the body is different for everyone." Ollie wanted to get that out there so that anything she might say shouldn't be taken as the norm. The way a body took the werewolf affliction was different for everyone. "I don't remember a lot of how my body reacted when I was first turned. It was so long ago. Honestly at my age I was made a werewolf it sort of just became the norm or what I viewed as the norm." Ollie paused and looked at Zel hoping what she was saying wasn't making him disappointed or feel awkward. "I do eat a lot more than an an average teenager girl. Maybe even more than an average teenage boy. I do tend to crave meat products more and I really do like it particularly bacon." Ollie said with a simple shrug of her shoulders. "As for emotions mine do get a little more irrational or unexpected closer to the full moon. Mainly just a little tired and agitated."

She was glad she could tell her story as long as it helped someone out. "I do tend hurt before and after the full moon. Just stiffness and bone ache really." But that was information he had not been looking for and she had just sort of supplied. "Sorry, does any of that help? Or do you have any other questions." This was something she was good at talking about her experience. It was much nicer than the whole SAWS ordeal. That had been a disaster, but then again people didn't like to hear her self hate and disgust, that was relatively new.

The kitchens? Zel was always under the impression that the kitchens were rather off limits, and students needed to eat only at meals, and that was that. It seemed that Olivia had figured out a way to access the kitchens, and get herself food whenever she wanted. Judging by her petite size (Zel considered everybody to be petite, to be honest), and the amount of food he always saw her eat at the table, he didn’t doubt that she was always hungry. Zel wasn’t sure, at this point, whether his constant hunger was from simply not eating, or if it was from being a werewolf. He listened to her words, nodding and smiling every now and then, particularly when she brought up bacon. “Well.” Zel said nervously, “I like bacon too. That’s another thing we have in common?”

”Argh. Stupid Zel. Just shut up, she probably thinks you’re mad.” Zel berated himself, criticizing every awkward thing he said and did. He was awful when talking to people, particularly new people. “Heh. I remember when my sister was turned, she… Was angry. All the time. She still has a temper, but I- I can’t tell if it’s from being mad at how my mom treats her, or if… It has something to do with… Well.. You know.” He blushed, looking down at his textbooks. Emeline was the closest person to him, and he felt like she was all he talked about. Though, when your family is all you have, it doesn’t leave much to discuss.

“I… I got muscle soreness after the last… Change.” Zel said quietly, “I… I also feel like… I feel like my feelings are not mine. I don’t feel like I own my body.” He began to rub his temple, “To be honest, I kind of… Really… I hate myself.” He hadn’t directly said those words to anyone, and he probably wouldn’t have said those words to someone who wasn’t also a lycan. He felt this immediate bond, this immediate connection. She understood who he was, despite the fact she was a veteran werewolf. Zel felt a little embarrassed that he exposed himself to her so openly. But that was how you made friends, right? You expose yourself, and then you see how the other person reacts. If they react well, and expose themselves too, you become friends. The closest thing Zel had to a friend, outside his family—was Ligeia. However, she got be a little too creepy and morbid for his taste at times.

“I also feel… A lot stronger, and I can smell everything.” Zel tried to hurry up and focus the topic on something that did not revolve around his self hate.

"Brilliant!" Ollie said with a soft smile. "Bacon is brilliant." She nodded her head as she spoke but it was rather awkward as she was still resting her chin on her hand. "If you want we could go get some bacon later?" After all they had not had any bacon at dinner but she was sure the house elves would have no trouble in whipping some up. That is what she loved about the kitchens, the sheer fact that the house elves enjoyed making food. Ollie loved being waited on it made her feel super special for just a moment. Though sometimes she felt a little poorly for the house elves, but they did seem to live to serve.

"It might be something to do with the whole thing," Ollie said with a shrug. "I do have a bit of a temper now and then, but I am not what one would call overly angry. But I am sure each person reacts to the change and the situation differently. The affliction has to be different to a degree in each body." Ollie hoped she wasn't saying things into awkward a manner for him not to follow, nor did she wish it was too blunt so anyone that might over hear would catch onto what she was discussing. Last thing she wanted to do was out Zel to the Hufflepuffs when he wasn't ready. She had not been ready to out herself to the student body but Headmistress Snark had decided that fate for her. She never wished that shock on anyone else as it was particularly unpleasant experience. When she looked back on it she wished Headmistress Snark had made up some reason to expel her from the school rather than the fact she was inflicted with lycanthropy. It had been a jolt to her system to all of a sudden be exposed. At least she had friends that could stand by her through it, in fact she is probably backed up by more people than those who are against her. Ollie just did not like to think about it.

Ollie listened and nodded her head as he spoke to ensure she was making an effort to show she was listening and taking in his words. "Muscle soreness will be around for the duration, or at least it had for me. Everyone handles it differently though. I have heard of some being rather lustful before the full moon." She couldn't help but let a smile sneak onto her lips as she spoke. "As for hating yourself," she paused and took a breath trying to think how to phrase it. "Is natural. I feel self hate and shame as well. And a lot of it comes from the stigma of being what we are." She said that as quiet was she could while still being audible for Zel. "Or at least that is how I feel." Ollie hated herself a little more than she used too just because of what she had done to Sasha. What she hated more than anything was the fact she could have avoid it all if she had been at school like normal on her strict schedule. She had got lack she felt safe, and she let herself get distracted. Funny how Snark had wanted to protect the students from her and that she had ended up attacking student because she had been removed from her routine.

"Oh yeah, you get a new found sense of smell. Or so I am told." Ollie tried to laugh. "I smell a lot. You will notice those who are particularly attractive also smell amazing and you notice it." Ollie shrugged her shoulders. "I guess it the hormones or the animalistic side of you or something." Though Ollie didn't feel like she was stronger than the average gal, maybe a bit lack in strength but maybe that was because she wasn't really trying. "But the side-effects are different for everyone. So really don't worry about anything being unusual." She sighed, "Asides from the fact being like this is not quote unquote normal."

Zel greatly appreciated Olivia’s honestly, and he also felt a bit of pain for her, knowing that he was not alone in the self-hate. He wished that things were different, that being a werewolf wasn’t such a controversial topic. He wished that the world was simply more accepting, so that he and Ollie could live in peace. He wanted to be able to do whatever he wanted in life, without the social restrictions imposed upon him because of who he now was, and who he was going to be from here on out. Zel was a decent person; he knew that—he just wished the world would be able to see that, once he finally was out about his lycanthropy.

“So, Sophie told me that I should tell Figaro.” Zel hesitated, “Should I? I mean… Can I trust him with this? He’s not exactly known for keeping his mouth shut.” He frowned, and his eyebrows furrowed together with worry. He knew that he had to be out eventually, and secrets had their way of being discovered. He felt like it was best for it to happen on his own terms, instead of how it happened to Ollie. It was so public, and so humiliating. He couldn’t imagine being outed to the entire school the way she was. Zel remembered feeling such deep pity towards her when it happened, knowing that if Emeline was in her position, she would have been upset.

The werewolf’s stomach growled loudly, and comically. Zel’s hunger was getting to the point where he could not ignore it, and he wished that he could have eaten more at dinner. To be honest, he hadn’t felt comfortable eating. After talking to Olivia, even if it was only for a short amount of time, he began to grow comfortable with it. All of this was normal for his body, and he would probably always feel this way. Zel knew that he needed to suck it up and deal with it. “Heh. Um.” He blushed, “I think… Maybe getting bacon might be a good idea.”

The albino tried to ignore what she said about more attractive people smelling good. Of course, Zel had noticed. He was just such a freakin’ prude that he would never, ever admit that in his life. It was too rude, and too crass. He did twitch and redden when she mentioned it, though he tried to act like it didn’t bug him.