It was the late afternoon hours, the open time after double Herbology where Obderedria found her schedule very open until dinner. She had been a diligent little girl, always addressing homework first with her free periods, studying in the common room or in the library.

But whenever she wasn't occupied with school work something seemed -- off. She couldn't place why but the things she did for enjoyment last year didn't hold the same attraction. There weren't any books for fun to read from the library, she'd read all of hers from her trunk sixteen times apiece already. She wrote a letter to mum, and a letter to -- but whenever she wanted to write a letter to one of her pen pals, like Beverly, she kept thinking back to the time one of her letters had been sent off and gotten a reply -- no, that was me thinking about it during my final, magic going out of control, like my hair --

She felt her magic had been going out of control lately. The first days back she was relived to find that waving her wand and saying the right incantation let her do spells again. But she was -- what was the word, too enthusiastic? Elaborate? Magic had become scary and her performance went from better than average from a summer with little practice to plummeting. She felt like a first year barely able to use her wand, though she had a year's schooling by now.

She had to talk to someone, but who? It was too much to explain to mum in a letter and she wasn't a witch, anyways. She didn't want to share her insecurities with her peers. As for the Professors --

Prof. Sandusky was her Head of House. He was kind of strange, though. Obderedria thought he was like a game show host, peppy and jovial and constantly changing track of what he was talking about. And the way he awarded points, as if he had a game board to a quiz challenge where points were gained or gone forever, hidden behind little cards. Once she walked into class and thought all the desks had been replaced with light-up podiums, flashing all the points that student had ever won, and hers was a low number -- Transfiguration wasn't one of her better classes, and Prof. Sandusky taught it so he might be disappointed with her -- but he had said the first night they were back that his office was always open should a student want to visit, back on that night she he showed them his little monkey Howler that Heliotrope was so enthralled with -- the desks hadn't been turned into game show podiums, though, that was a silly thought.

There was plenty of time before dinner and by this point in the late afternoon Prof. Sandusky should have instructed his last class of the day. When she got to his office she knocked tentatively then pushed the door open a creak.

"Professor Sandusky? Could I talk to you?"

Leopold set aside the parchment he was grading.  "Indeed you can, Miss Pienas.  Come in.  Have a seat.  I know it's not too long before dinner but can I offer you a tea and an almond biscuit?"  At the words 'almond biscuit', Howler perked up and made his way to Leopold's desk.  The old wizard laughed.

"You might have to fight somebody for one of them," he added, ruffling the monkey's fur.  "Howler loves them even more than I do."

"Thank you for coming," he continued.  "As you know, I've asked all the Hufflepuff students to come by my office at some point so we can chat and get to know each other a little better.  I do it for two reasons.  It allows me to let the students under my care know a little bit more about me, so they know where I'm coming from and that I am truly here to help.  It also allows me to get to know my students, so I can provide a little more personalized attention in whatever places have the most need.  Rest assured, even the best student can use a little bit of help.  I'll trouble you not to use my quill as a wand, you little devil."

This last was directed at Howler who had seized Leopold's pen and was waving it about, spreading drops of ink everywhere.  He took the feather away from the monkey, who protested loudly, before jumping onto Leopold's shoulder and wrapping its tiny arms around his neck in a hug.  He chuckled and returned the monkey's embrace with obvious affection.

"As I was saying, come in and sit down, Miss Pienas," he invited again, cleaning up the spattered ink with a quick wave of his wand.  "Would you care for some tea?"

"Oh, thank you," Obderedria said as she entered. She was never one to turn down hospitality like tea time. Howler was so amusing that she gave a small giggle, lifting her spirits.

Though as she sat in the Head's cozy office the intimacy of the scenario began to envelope her as Prof. Sandusky explained how supportive he wanted to be. This in turn made Obderedria slightly apprehensive on sharing -- what if what she wanted to talk about wasn't an important enough issue for Prof. Sandusky's time?

"Thank you, I'd love some tea. Lemon and sugar please." Obderedria absentmindedly reached into the biscuit tin on the professor's desk, drawing out three almond biscuits stacked together -- like a cookie sandwich, she always thought -- but the whole nuts in the center of each made the stack wobbly. Out of all the notions spiraling in her head, which one should she ask first? She didn't want him to think there was too much wrong, that the visit was from a dire need.

"Um, Professor Sandusky? How much of ones magic comes from their wand? There's a girl in Hufflepuff older than me, Winnie, and her old wand never wanted to work right because it had a feather from a funny bird as a core."

Obderedria paused to eat one of the biscuits then swallowed quickly, continuing. "I think my wand might be too powerful."

Leopold poured the tea before answering.  "Wands are funny things,"  he said.  "What works well for one doesn't work at all for someone else.  By Winnie, I assume you mean Miss Oliver.  There is no mention of difficulty in her file.  Perhaps I'll have to discuss it with her.  But, back to your question."

Leopold set the cup on the edge of his desk for her.  "One lump or two?  Have you ever tried honey with lemon, instead of sugar?  I find I prefer it."  He prepared his own cup, stirring slowly, counterclockwise with a silver spoon. 

"Now where was I?  Oh yes, wands.   I expect you have an Ollivander's wand.  Mr Ollivander is very much of the belief that the wand chooses the wizard or, in this case, witch.  The wand reflects the wielder so if you find your wand too powerful, I think the best result might come from you taking a firmer hand and exercising a greater degree of control when using it.  does that make sense to you or an I on the wrong track?"

He didn't know? It had been big point of frustration for Winnie, but maybe none of the past professors had bothered to mention it. It was a point Winnie wasn't all that proud of, so Obderedria didn't want to say any more.

She was confused when Sandusky asked her how she wanted her tea. That game show host element of him again -- even if you don't win, here's a complimentary prize and the question on the board is why can't you easily transfigure an apple into a pineapple? -- "Oh, um, two lumps please, though you can add the honey also." That would make it rather sweet, to counteract the bittersweet almond biscuits.

She shifted in her seat, feeling scrutinized. "Well, when mum and I were first shopping for my school things we didn't realize you were supposed to buy a wand from Ollivanders, so, um -- I can't remember who was selling this but," she revealed her wand, the unassuming stick of apple wood, "it was a man selling them from a cart. Mum and I always shop economically, so at the time it sounded like a good deal -- not that it's a bad wand, I've been good with Charms but in your class, um --"

Obderedria usually didn't blab this much, recently she'd been feeling that all the thoughts in her head were trying to be spoken at the same time. "-- Hippogriff Talon core, which supposedly likes Charms -- but how am I to control it? Since I've come back to school my spells are, um, too effective. During the Welcoming Feast when Heliotrope almost froze to death -- or hibernating, whatever happens when she gets too cold -- the Head of the Salem School told me to use this one spell and I microwaved her. And then during Charms with Professor Cadmon we were doing Cheering Charms and when I cast in on Heliotrope --" She knew it, from an outside view she sounded like a horrible roommate for mildly harming her friend whenever she cast magic on her "-- she got all lovey and huggy and --"

"-- This isn't the first time, Professor Sandusky, last year my wand did something truly impossible during finals!!"

"May I see your wand, Miss Pienas?"  Leopold asked.  "I assume you brought it with you.  It may also be that Miss LeJean, having the family history that she does, is more vulnerable to your magic than most.  We shall see, however.  Perhaps your wand might benefit from a visit to Mr Ollivander.  If there is a specific error, perhaps he can fix it.  If not then perhaps we might need to set aside some time for you to practice with your wand so that you can learn fine control."

Obderedria placed her wand on his desk -- had he not seen it earlier? had she actually displayed it earlier? what? -- positioning it to rest level. She didn't know what sorts of signs there were to a wand going wrong but Sandusky was sure to find it exemplary -- barely looked used, even. The wand had i's own well cushioned pocket in her backpack and she kept it safe whenever she wasn't using it. Her mother had instilled the good habits in Obderedria to keep her things in good condition.

"About that final--" Obderedria wasn't sure how to word this. She didn't want to admit that she had imagined a reply from a fictional pen pal from a letter she wasn't supposed to have sent, so her story became the inverse. "-- one of the spells was Aparecium, we had to reveal a document written in invisible ink. And before finals I had sent off this letter to, a friend, and I knew it would take a long time to get a reply. So when I performed the spell in the final, my invisible message turned into a reply to that letter I had sent. Before all the ink smeared."

"But that's truly impossible!!" This wasn't like the regular 'impossibilities' of magic that could be overcome with the right spell. "No one knew what I had wrote and the person my letter was sent to wouldn't write a reply in invisible ink and mail it to me through an exam. Did I imagine a new response for the message? But how could my spell create something I'm not even focused on imagining?"

Leopold examined the wand carefully.  "Hmmm.....  Seems to have a construction that suggests an affinity for charms, which from what you are saying it does have.  Likely you've got an apprentice wand, one of the practice wands used when wandmasters are learning their craft.  That's probably why it was such a bargain."

He set it back down on his desk.  "I would definitely recommend having a wandmaster look at it.  Apprentice wands can have a very wide range of powers.  As you say, it might be just that little more potent than it should be, which means there is the danger of additional side effects, because nothing is without a price, Miss Pienas.  It may indeed have transfigured the message in invisible ink to what you were hoping your response letter to be.  So, even though you say you are less than perfectly adept at transfigurations, you just might be looking at the cup half empty."

Obderedria picked up her wand, though feebly. With the possibility of it being an apprentice wand, did that make it defective? Or stranger than a normal wand, doing more with her magic than she was consciously aware of?

"Excuse me, professor, I need to check something. Lumos."

Still shining in orange.

"Nox." As far has a potentially defective wand went, that was a quirk she didn't mind. "Would it be expensive to, um, upgrade a wand, or whatever may need to be done by a wand maker? And, does the wand still choose even if I didn't try too many before buying?" She was growing uneasy now that it was basically confirmed than her wand was unusual that that was causing the problems with her spells. But she had learned well enough with it over the last year, until the -- oh Obderedria, changing your mind again and being silly!!

"Then, is it easier not to think about the transfiguration when attempting it? I've always been thinking about the details. Like for beetles and buttons, is it going to be a round or square button, with three or four holes, or is the color going to match the beetle, will there be any other design or--" Even Heliotrope, arguably, had consistency in Transfiguration. Obderedria was left with beetles with holes in the middle or buttons that crawling or flew across the room.

"The wand does indeed choose the witch,"  Leopold answered nodding.  "Perhaps what we have is a case of excessive eagerness on the part of your wand.  Wands have personalities, just like people do, which is why matching the wand to the wizard is so important.  Perhaps an examination from a wandmaster might be in order.  As you know, the Tetrawizard Cup is being hosted by Hogwart's and part of the preparations includes the weighing of the wands of those participating.  Perhaps we might be able to squeeze in a visit with the wandmaster doing the weighing.  Would you like me to try and arrange it?"

"Well, if you think I should, I wouldn't want to intrude." As far as Obderedria could gather the upcoming event for the tournament was to know what everybody's wands were made of. Like what equipment they were using for an olympic event.

"I guess, my magic has always been prone to getting out of control. It's how I got these." Her hand fiddled with a patch of her hair, pulling it so two green spots split apart as individual strands until she let it fall back into place. Another quirk she didn't mind too much, if people weren't staring at her -- but why was magic so unusual?

She was saddened that Sandusky had zeroed in on only her wand as the source of her minor calamities. She had asked him about transfiguration, hadn't she? And it was his subject -- but there was something else missing. Something that troubled her and she couldn't figure out what.

Looking downcast, Obderedria pocketed her wand and noiselessly sipped her tea, withdrawn.

"Very interesting, in light of your difficulty in transfigurations,"  Leopold said.  "One might assume that, given the nature of your earliest manifestations of magic, you would have an easy time of transfigurations.  You've obviously got a natural aptitude for it, otherwise there would have been some other sign of magical ability.  Is it possible, do you think, that you have been blocking that particular ability, because when it first manifested, it resulted in something that frightened you?"

"Blogging ig--" Obderedria gulped down her tea before speaking again. "Blocking it?" She thought back to when she had first found out she was a witch. "It's something I didn't intend to happen at all. I was dying my hair green for St. Patrick's Day -- I suppose I thought what it would be like if I always had green hair -- but when we tried to wash it out there were spots leftover, and mum had to cut my hair but there was still scraps of green to my roots, so the next day at primary was so embarrassing because of my silly hair and I didn't like the haircut, so the next morning having wished my hair wasn't so chopped short -- I woke up and my hair had grown to cover my bed, with scores of more spots, like Rapunzel. That's when mum admitted she knew I was going to be a witch."

She dipped one almond biscuit into her tea and stirred it around. "I guess, Transfiguration just seems...damaging." The notion highlighted in her mind as if her neon orange Lumos had gone off. "Because you're changing something and forcing it to be different. Like the beetle buttons -- doesn't it hurt them? What happens to the beetle? Or what does the jellybean think when Heliotrope turns into a tadpole? It all just seems, hurtful."

Another question leapt to mind, although it was more general than her qualms about Transfiguration. "Why would anyone what to use magic to hurt somebody?"

Leopold's face fell.  "Unfortunately, Miss Pienas, I'm afraid you have stumbled across one of the great unanswerable questions," he answered.  "We cannot know why someone is willing to take that tragic step.  We can only guess.  Sometimes it is anger or jealousy or greed but we can never say why in every case.  Magic isn't evil but the way it is used can be.  Consider the healers at St Mungo's.  They use their magic to help people.  If you look only at them, magic is good.  If you look only at those poor souls living out their last days in Azkaban, you'd think magic was entirely evil."

Trying to explain how the world really worked to a child was something every parent dreaded.  As a teacher, he wasn't all that far removed from the parental role.  All he could do was reassure her.  "Transfigurations aren't bad," he said.  "The beetles don't feel anything.  Magic has a way of working that is mysterious and frequently bizarre.  That is how you can end up with a beetle who has four holes right through the middle of him and yet he's quite content.  He'll remain content until he turns back to a button and he will turn back.  Transfigurations of that type are never permanent."

That was a harrowing thought, magic being used evilly. And Obderedria had witnessed some -- or had she?

She was further reassured by the professor's explanation of Transfiguration. "Oh, so it doesn't hurt them? That makes me feel better. I can explain that to mum when I have a chance."

Chewing on a biscuit again, she frowned, eyebrows knitting as her teeth ground the cookie into crumbs. Recently mum hadn't been able to comprehend too many things about the magical world. And she was startled by owls delivering the post again.