“Your heart is in the right place.”

Lawrence’s twitch of both eyebrows was unintended and automatic in surprise at hearing someone tell him that. He was the heartless criminal who had turned dementors on people. Sandy was tugging his helium balloon of elation back down to the two armchairs. He stared at Sandy without blinking as he calmly suggested he would pass on the offer. It wouldn’t go anywhere, even if Sandy suggested it to the other two.

“How are you feeling about the future?”

Patient blinked, tilted his head just enough to be perceived. Take a wild guess, Sandy.

“It’s the next great adventure,” he replied after the silence went past uncomfortable. “I get to watch Harper Graves give the performance of her career to try and convince the Wizengamot I’m an angel worthy of one or two less life sentences. Like it’ll matter. At least in Azkaban I’ll get some fresh air. Not like I’ve not done it all before.” He twisted his remaining hand in the air, imagining the tall triangular tower on the unplottable North Sea island as his fingertips ascended.

“Lord knows how long they will sit in London before they pass sentence. So much to trawl through, and that’s just what I told Auror Pratt and company. Who knows what an audience might tempt me into saying.” Lawrence smiled with intent. “I am sure you will find plenty motivation to put across my offer in the meantime.”

"I believe I have." Said Sandy. His belly felt heavy. That day he should have let Lawrence die. Called the aurors. But Josie would have seen. He would have broken his oath. They would not be here. The breakthrough would not have happened. Sandy would not have got to work with the famous Yavin Morgenthau. Every decision had a price. You just did not pay it straight away. He swallowed.

"I-If you c-could live it again. Choose a different path. What point would you take that path?" Asked Sandy. Was there a defining moment that changed life forever? If Josie did write that book. She would want to know. The reluctant journalist in Sandy understood.

Lawrence exhaled, and let his head tilt back.  He ran the tip of his tongue over his lips and then his teeth, as he studied the ceiling without really seeing it.

“I’d…” he drew out the word. “I’d tell her how I really felt.” He shrugged and looked back at Sandy, sure his old Hogwarts classmate would remember who he meant. “I’d have told Susannah. Probably when I was training, or soon after. You know, once I’d stopped being quite an arsehole and realised I was still hung up on her.”

They had remained close in their twenties, and he’d hated watching her choose rubbish boyfriend after rubbish boyfriend. They’d seen how he looked at her. He’d have done the same if she’d been his and he’d seen himself looking at her.

“Of all my regrets, that’s one because I didn’t act, rather than because I did something, or the wrong thing. If you get what I mean.” He lifted his remaining hand and let it fall onto his knee.

“Who knows, maybe if I’d said it, we’d have got together and I’d thought twice. Thought about the impact of my actions on us rather than just me. Or maybe that’s a romantic idea that a woman could ‘save’ me from the wrong path. Divination could equally argue my fate was sealed from birth. For all I know there was a prophecy on Nine waiting for me to fulfil it. Wouldn’t that be a nice excuse.”

He gave a sad little smile, as he often did with a nostalgia trip.

“Misslethorpe you’ve quite ruined my good mood you bastard. Are you trying to be a replacement for my dementors?” There was humour behind the suggestion. “Or are you fishing for content after all…?”

Sandy took brief notes. It was his duty to observe his patient. He smirked. Nostalgia. He remembered the girl Lawrence liked. All girls looked pretty to teenage boys. Lawrence monologued. Sandy allowed. He snorted. A prophecy! They did not do those for ordinary people. Lawrence was ordinary. Really. Sandy was too. They were two ordinary wizards talking.

"We - we both know that is Andy's aim." Sandy smiled. He laughed. Not much. Enough. He spoke calmly. Reassuring. "You know our discussion. My notes. They are all confidential. I am a healer here. Only a healer." He would not be convinced by Josie. Dangerous idea. He wished she had not planted it in his head.

Sandy inhaled. About to ask a new question. He felt that familiar burning. He touched his badge. "Duty calls." He explained. Sorry. "Sorry Lawrence. We will continue this later." Sandy got up. Took his notes with him. "And I will speak to them. You have my word."


END