20 December 2011
10:15am, Courtroom Seven
The Ministry of Magic

Enid Jingleberry had insisted her witness Theodora Kingstreet be dressed in a traditional witch’s modest pinstripe suit. A white ruffled blouse peeked out over the high mandarin collar and out of her three button cuffs. Her shoulders were covered by a smart capelet and the robes touched the tops of her sensible boots. A tight French twist held her pale blonde hair in place. But all this did little to offset the visual impact of the shackles around her wrists, waist and ankles - Azkaban was immoveable on that part of the dress code.

Theodora had no problem waiting because her mind was never idle, other than the five minutes of eyes-closed she scheduled each night. There was the neverending delusion of bureaucracy to be done from the fantasy of the Minister of Magic’s office. Recently, her work was focused on pulling files from the prosecution of Leo Ophiuchus Gamp, preparing for her imminent testimony before the Wizengamot.

A smile touched her lips where she sat in the holding area surrounded by Azkaban guards. It was all a waste of wand-power, but she imagined it comforted their feeble brains.

“It’s time.”

---

The crack of Kingstreet’s triple Side-Along Apparition echoed in the courtroom. She heard the conversation hush. The guards who’d accompanied her shoved her forward roughly to stand next to Enid Jingleberry, lawyer for the petitioner. Her chains rattled. Kingstreet swiveled her head to look directly at Leo Gamp. The former Auror was clean-shaven, but he had a sunken look to his eyes as he met her gaze. The predatory smile returned. She moved her head again to face front. In her mind, she arranged her reference materials.

“Madame Kingstreet,” Enid Jingleberry smiled, gaze brushing up and down her star witness, all prussed up to look deceptively like a normal human being. It had been important that she show some sign of her former self, the self that had wrongly prosecuted the poor, unfortunate Auror Leo Gamp and ruined his life.

“Welcome. Please, take a seat.” A hand was waved at a foreboding looking chair placed in the centre of the floor. It was a large dark wooden monstrosity with arms rests that produced chains. Like any perfectly average courtroom chair. Leo Gamp himself was sat in one, much to his lawyers irritation. At least they’d allowed him to dress in his civilian clothing which now hung off him.

Kingstreet did as directed and moved like a queen to her throne. The additional restraints painted a different picture. She looked at that fool Jingleberry. The two witches had sparred in the courtroom many times, trading wins and losses and savagely unethical tactics.

“If it please the court,” Kingstreet said speaking out of turn, “I petition for the expedited execution of Enid Jingleberry. Post haste.”

Around the courtroom, various members of the Wizengamot stared in horror. The defence lawyer didn’t bat an eyelid. Every doubt she or her client may have had about fighting for Theodora Kingstreet to appear in court vanished, whispers of thoughts immediately forgotten. This was perfect and Enid drew on her poker faced control to not grin and clap with delight.

“Maybe later, dear.” Jingleberry did say before turning to look up at what might be quite an intimidating sight. Above them, surrounding them and staring down were the many wizengamot elders adorned in purple robes and headwear. “For the court, please state your name and profession.”

“Theodora Mabh Kingstreet. Political prisoner,” came the response.

“Thank you.” Enid turned back to her star witness, an expression of concern etched onto her features as she tilted her head. “I’ve not been informed that you’re a political prisoner, Theodora. Might you be so kind as to elucidate?”

“Idiot.”

Theodora spared a long glance the thirteen plum-robed Elders. “This body objected to my movements towards Minister for Magic. A temporary situation. Upon the dissolution of the Wizengamot there will no longer be frivolous impediments.”

“Really? Tell us more, Theodora.”

“Madame Jingleberry,” a wizard croaked from above, clearly irritated “what is the meaning of this direction of questioning?”

“If ye’ll let me continue, Sir, ye’ll see quite clearly.” The Irish witch gave a sweet smile before turning back to Kingstreet. She was still smiling. “Go on, Dora. We’re listenin’ love.”

At the familiar address, a faint clatter signaled an unseen movement of the witness in her chains. Far more valued to Kingstreet than her freedom, which she felt certain would be hers in due time, was her joy in being right (in whatever way this witch could feel that emotion). She liked shame, she liked fear.

“As you wish. It is my pleasure to elucidate for the benefit of your ineptitude. Cotesworth-Head will find herself in crucifiable financial scandal. Cesswick is hiding damning nepotism. Kulkarni’s bribery will be uncovered,” she said beginning a litany of slanders against each and every one of the Wizengamot Elders present.

“That will be quite enough! Madam Jingleberry, control your witness! Threats will not be tolerated!” bellowed Elder Amaravathy Kulkarni. Photographers’ flashbulbs snapped.

Kingstreet surged forward in her seat, raising her voice all the more. “Gallowsherd will commit suicide after a public disgrace! Chalfant’s fortune was won on the black market! Prewett -!”

The guards slammed her back into the seat.

Inside, Enid was delighted. Outwardly, she was just as shocked as everyone else in the room. Her hands were thrown in the air as she looked at Kulkarni.

“How am I expected to do that, Elder?” She couldn’t. It was perfect.

“Dora, ye need to chill a little or these idiots might think ye’ve lost it.” The witch jiggled her finger next to her temple to signify insanity. “I know yer not, but these,” a hand was directed to the panel. “They never had the nightmare of losing to you in the courtroom, did they?”

Kingstreet’s chest rose and fell as her agitation grew, as much from her being silenced by the Thirteen Despicables as Jingleberry’s stupidity. She snapped her gaze to the defense and lifted her chin.

“Some of them have.” She straightened and gripped the hand rests.

“So that you do not embarrass yourself further, listen closely. I will assist you. I call into evidence Exhibit Rho-Seven.”

There was a slow murmur in the courtroom as brows furrowed and people looked around. Shackled in his chair, Leo Gamp shifted uncomfortably, his back ramrod straight and his eyes still locked on the witness and his lawyer.  The Undersecretary leaned forward.

“Council shall advise the witness that she is not an attorney and cannot present evidence, including … non-existent exhibits. Madam Jingleberry, our patience grows thin.”

“As well, it might, Elder.” Enid replied calmly, “but have I ever not had a serious point to make?” Once more, a murmur. They may not have liked Enid Jingleberry, but she wasn’t the sort to waste their time with ridiculous ramblings.

“Theodora, do you know this man?” The lawyer pointed to her client.

The erratic witness moved her gaze laterally to give a fair look at the wizard Jingleberry indicated.

“Leo Ophiuchus Gamp,” Theodora replied.

“And how do you know Mr Gamp?”

A tiny smile. “I prosecuted him in 1998 on behalf of the Ministry of Magic on charges of kidnapping, murder, and terrorism. He was convicted by this body.” She arched an eyebrow.

“Big catch. A decorated auror with no prior concerns. How did you manage that?”

“He was guilty,” she said, again with a small smug smile.

“See, I don’t think he is, Theodora. And I think ye did a really bad job of covering yer tracks.” Enid baited the witch, eyebrows raised.

“Madame Jingleberry!”

“I think ye messed up, Theodora.” The witch pressed on, ignoring the Elder’s interruption. “I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, that ye weren’t really all there when ye decided to destroy Mr Gamp’s life to accelerate yer career.”

This? This was what the cobwebs in Theodora’s brain were made for. The tangle and twine of legal wit.

“Gamp and this court sealed his fate. His conviction proves his guilt. The facts speak for themselves. My role was purely … facilitation,” Kingstreet explained. “Your ad hominum attacks, Jingleberry, they smell of desperation. If either of us benefits from manipulation of opinion, it’s you. Such a shame.”

“The Wizengamot benefits if I don’t do my job properly, Dora.” Enid muttered with a shrug. “Anyway, tell me, how did ye facilitate the situation? Funny word to choose, don’t ye think?”

Theodora appeared to get comfortable in her bonds and the rough chair.
“A murder needs a body. I facilitated the body. Conspiracy requires conspirators. I facilitated those, too. It’s all there in the case file,” she said, “properly documented to the absolute letter. Indisputable. It’s a shame the defense has such trouble finding those witnesses. Disorganization, probably.”

The audience began to murmur again. The Wizengamot Elder called for order.

Bingo!

Enid, thoroughly in the zone now, frowned as if this were news to her, something beyond her comprehension.

“Why would you need to facilitate a body?”

Kingstreet scoffed. “Are you really that dim? Elders, I again submit my petition for the immediate execution of defense council.”

“Madame Jingleberry, you are done!” An elder insisted, but the Irish witch pressed on.

“No, you help me out here, love. You have an airtight case, an auror stands accused of murder, torture yadda yadda and you, ye facilitate a body. Ye facilitate conspirators. I think ye need to explain that because I don’t believe yer capable of that and neither do these witches and wizards up there.” Her hand waved, indicating the onlookers in purple robes. “They put ye away because they think yer bonkers, love. Clearly they were right.”

“Form 11-D addendum A - allocation of search crups to a crime scene! Form MLE-18 B - necropsy authorization! Submit to Ministry morgue, authorized by Wizengamot sub-committee for wrongly deceased! File memorandum of Disfigurement Totalus! Everything required to produce a body in homicide proceedings,” she spoke in clipped tones. Her chains rattled as she continued.

“Conspirators,” she continued. “File triplicate form 17-Alpha authorizing surveillance. Requisition personnel, MLE, Form C.  Arrest warrants - MLE stamped! Indictments! Subpoenas! Everything in order, everything aligned, everything properly, incorruptibly arranged!”

“The body could have belonged to anyone, then?” Jingleberry asked.

“It clearly couldn’t have. Exhibit 12. Memorandum of Disfigurement Totalus filed 7 June 1998. Confirmed as the deceased victim. Co-signed Prosecutor, staff Healer, and presiding Elder.”

“I think we’ve heard enough, Madame Kingstreet.” Enid responded calmly, her sweet smile once more on her lips. The doubt was there, it was what she’d needed. “Thank you for your time.” She turned back to face the Wizengamot. “Clearly the witch is and was mentally incapable of lawfully prosecuting my client’s case correctly.”

Her moment, already brief, was being pulled away. Just another charade to undermine her authority. It was expected, it was futile, but it was still an offense for which all present would be held accountable. But did she frown or fluster? No. The batty nutter smiled.

This was the beginning of the end for the Wizengamot. Her tainted prosecutions contaminated the courts that had done the convicting.