Continued from Oh, Holey Night.
Christmas Eve
Just before 10 pm
In the streets above the Ministry of Magic.

Whitehall was abnormally quiet that night.  There was only single street light burning on the dingy side street, located a few blocks away from the Muggle government buildings, when Tessa Fenneken and her side-along companion reappeared with a pop.

Tessa immediately let go of the German teenager's shoulder, pulling her hand back as quickly as if it had been burnt.  She stepped back to give him room, just in case. Apparition didn't sit well for a lot of wixes, and if her rescuee-turned-sort-of-prisoner-sort-of-companion was going to be sick, she didn't want to get in the line of fire.

The old, rusty red phone booth that was their destination stood halfway down the street, just to the right of a shabby-looking Muggle pub whose windows were dark that night.  Tessa turned toward it, keeping her wand in hand just in case.  She'd yet to see the teenager draw his own wand, but after a year in the Werewolf Capture Unit, she'd learned a thing or two about healthy paranoia.

"This way," she instructed him, using her wand to direct the teenager toward the abandoned phone booth.  "We've got to both squeeze in."

One moment, Anton was looking around for this Apparatus that was going to take them to the Ministry of Magic.  The next, Foxy was putting a hand on his shoulder.  What followed was ... well, the closest he could come to describing it was the feeling of utter disorientation he'd felt after a very poor choice of company led to him getting talked into mixing Absinthe and shrooms. 

If he remembered more of that night, he might have been better prepared to decide which experience had been more nauseating.  Luckily for everyone, enough time had passed since Anton's proper meal that all the subsequent dizziness produced was a trio of wholly unpleasant, smoke-tinged gags. 

"Squeeze in what?" Anton asked the ground between his trainers.  He was bent over at the waist, his hands resting on his knees as he tried to will the planet to stop spinning in the wrong direction.  Fighting the vertigo, he looked up and around, just now realizing they were somewhere else!  They'd just traveled.  To another part of London.  "Where are we?" Tentatively, he straightened and turned on the spot, trying to spot anything familiar. 

"We're both getting in there?  Together?"  He pointed towards the phone booth.  Glancing around, again - this time to check for someone in uniform that might try to arrest him for drunkenly conduct - he took a hesitant step towards the book.  "That will take us to the Ministry?"  He started to step through the door but, remembering all his confusion from before, hesitated and turned back towards her. 

"Who are you?  Or...what are you?" 

For all of his excitement, Tessa was beginning to think that the teenager that she'd rescued was a little bit more clueless than he'd appeared at first.  (Which was saying a lot, considering she'd found him alone in an alleyway with a vampire on a new moon.)  She gave him an exasperated look, making an impatient noise as she pushed him lightly forward.

"Who do you think I am?" she retorted, ushering him forward as she stepped into the box behind him.  "I'm with the Ministry."

It was a tight squeeze inside the battered telephone box.  The telephone apparatus was hanging crookedly from the wall, as if someone had once tried to yank it out.  Squirming, Tessa pulled the door shut behind them, and then tried to reach past the German youth to reach the receiver.

"Here, look out," she groused, wriggling her arm between the youth and the wall so that she could reach the dial to turn it.  "Can you duck your head a bit?  No, the other way.  All right, all right," she grumbled, as she finally managed to twist in a way where she could see the dial.  "Six...two...four...four...two..."

As she entered the last number, the dial whirred smoothly back into place with a final click.  Barely a half second later, a cool female voice sounded inside the telephone box, as if it were emanating from an invisible speaker.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic.  Please state your name and business."

Anton offered a long, slow, exaggerated sigh that was supposed to express not only that he hadn't the foggiest idea who she was but he didn't even know how he'd know who she was.   She'd been a random (cute) blonde that showed up while he was getting harried by a vampire.  Or, harassing a vampire.  A synopses that, on its own, already represented a staggering degree of contextual understanding on his part. 

But, he couldn't think of an earnest, serious answer to her question that wouldn't betray how very damp he was behind the ears.  What actually came to mind and escaped his lips probably wasn't a drastic improvement.  "Given the context, Buffy?" he answered as he bumbled into the cramped phone booth ahead of this Ministry worker.  Vampires existed, so why couldn't foxy, hot, stake-wielding blondes? 

Anton cracked a cheeky grin as he turned to face his escort, waggling his eyebrows as she tried to worm her way into both a physically and socially comfortable position.  Then started an entirely illogical stream of events. 

"Ach, Liebling, that looks broken," he offered, trying to weasel out of her way for inexplicable reasons.  "But, if ... I could hand it to you or ... even ..."  He tried reaching for the dial with his fingers as she said the numbers, but even there she was quick to get it herself.  "Sechs, zwei, vier, vier, ... woah, hello!" he repeated after her, pitching his voice each time to mimic the tone of dialed numbers until a omnipresent voice filled the box. 

"Where are you?  Are you watching on a camera?" he asked, looking around the box as best he could to find a camera or window or ... something.  Nothing was obvious.  But, supposedly they were waiting for an answer.  "Oh, ah ... We're heading for the Prancing Pony.  We wish to stay at the inn.  Our business is our own.  There's talk of strange folk abroad.  Can't be too careful."   

Tessa's eyes practically bulged out of her head.

"What are you doing!!" she hissed at the German teen, grabbing for his shoulder and digging her fingers in.

Was there something wrong with him?  He didn't look like he'd been Confunded, but he was certainly acting like it.  She'd found him in a dark alleyway alone with a vampire on a new moon, and now he wasn't taking their arrival at the Ministry seriously at all.  She didn't understand the nonsense he was babbling about cameras and ponies, but a large part of her wanted to slug him until he started talking straight.

She gritted her teeth, trying to think quickly about how to salvage the situation.

"Tessa Fenneken, Level Four, escorting a victim to report a crime," she said loudly, speaking very quickly. 

Twisting slightly in the cramped phone box, she shot the teenager the nastiest Death Glare she could muster.

"Say your name," she hissed at him, looking as if she were going to attempt to tear his head off if he brought up anything else involving equines.

"I'm trying to help!" Anton hissed back, even though he knew as well as she did that he wasn't trying that hard.  But, in all fairness, he lacked the necessary information to really, truly, be helpful. 

He was never bound to be Frodo, though.  Sasha represented the Frodo/Sam side of the expedition.  Anton was totally the Pippin/Merry side. 

At least he wasn't drunk or otherwise intoxicated.  She should be grateful of that.  Ms. Tessa Fenneken. 

"What a great name!  Tessa Fenneken.  Cute as a fennec fox.  Very fitting."  Anton offered another cheeky grin and winked before remembering.  Oh right, name.  Victim.  Crime.  They were here because he'd almost been murdered by a vampire.  He really probably should take this more seriously.

He glanced around the box and leaned towards the handset.  "Names Anton Reinke Schäfer.  I ran into a moody vampire who didn't sparkle.  So, I'm here to talk to the fuzz." 

Once again, that ominous voice filled the phone booth.  "Thank you visitor, take your visitors badge and affix it to the front of your robes.  Have a nice day."

"Woah!  That's... scheiss!"  Anton contorted himself to try and reach for the little, silver square badge just as the phone booth dropped beneath his feet.  Like the most cramped elevator of all time, it rumbled down until it opened onto a vast, cavernous entrance hall.  Completely unaware that his chin had nearly dropped to the floor and he'd completely forgotten about the badge, Anton tumbled out of the phone booth and stared at the vast, open expanse of marble and the massive fountain at the center. 

"This is insane!"

He wasn’t trying to help, and they both knew it!  Tessa glared at him, with a look that would have imparted the full force of Avada Kedavra if she’d dared to say the words.  What was he doing!

His comments about her name didn’t help either.  Tessa gave a loud huff in his direction, crossing her arms and wishing that she wouldn’t be the obvious suspect if a fox-like animal happened to suddenly appear to viciously gnaw through the boy’s wrist. 

At least her companion finally stopped with his smart comments and finally gave his name to the lift.  It was a small victory, because he proceeded to follow it up with a string of Muggle-sounding nonsense that could have come out of Charlie Harris’s mouth.  But finally, finally, the lift printed his badge and started to descend.  Tessa rolled her eyes, arms crossed as she waited for their journey to finish.

The phone booth’s doors couldn’t have opened any sooner.  As soon as the way forward was unobstructed, Tessa bolted forward, eager to find someone to turn this problem over to.  Any urgency she’d felt at trying to report Lazarus the Vampire or pride in doing a good deed and saving someone had given way to a desperate need to escape the immediate cause of her annoyance, which was Anton Reinke Schäfer.

The German teen was looking around as if he’d never seen the Ministry before.  Maybe he hadn’t, but surely Germany had something similar.  Either way, Tessa was past the point of patience for his enthusiasm.

“Come on,” she ordered, grabbing his arm to drag him forward. 

The security desk was just up ahead, and even though it was late on Christmas Eve, surely some poor soul had to be working.  The sooner that she could dump Anton on them, the better.

Truth be told, Anton hadn't seen that many fennec foxces - his exposure was limited to some long-forgotten biology class video whose sole purpose was to occupy 20-odd preadolescent minds while some poor, substitute teacher tried to appear like he wasn't making things up on the fly.  Then, maybe, the occasional fly-by cute meme that popped up on social media. 

However, Anton could easily imagine that an angry, snarling fennec fox looked just as adorable as an angry, just-on-the-verge-of-snarling Officer Fenneken.  Anton's waggling eyebrows were telling a vivid, yet silent tale of Snarling Officer Fennec's charm when they froze, mid-sentence. 

Eyelids shot up and mouth dropped open as he turned, slowly, in place trying to soak in his surroundings.  Lofted ceilings that appeared one part grand hall and one part cavern stretched high overhead.  Darkened windows, muted lights and an otherwise empty foyer did little to dull the grandeur. 

"Halt de fick klappe!"[1] Anton breathed, seemingly unaware that Tessa was plowing ahead like the queen of the lunchroom, determined to get the best table without getting in trouble for running.  Even when Anton felt fingers close around his arm and drag him forward, his head kept turning from side to side.  She had to practically drag him past the fountain. 

It wasn't until a slightly bored, slightly sleepy third voice echoed through the otherwise empty cavern that Anton turned his attention back to the task at hand. 

"I'm sorry - what?" he asked, slightly surprised to find a young witch sitting behind a small, comparatively disappointing desk.  If Anton were to guess, the witch couldn't have been much older than himself. 

"You're wand, please.  I need to weigh it," the witch repeated with all of the patience of one who's position on the proverbial government ladder wasn't high enough to pawn working New Year's Eve onto someone else. 

"Left it at home, unfortunately," Anton confessed, looking sheepish and lifting his arms in an invitation for the witch to frisk him for proof.  "Wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't, yeah?  I mean, if I'd had it, I would have just whronn, whronn, pew and the vampire would have-"

Anton didn't have time to see if the witch's dull, holiday shift was alleviated any by his mix of lightsaber and phaser sounds.  Tessa was ushering them along with, clearly, a destination in mind.  Anton offered the young witch a parting grin and wave before finding himself in front of a set of sparkling, grate doors. 

1.	Shut the eff up!

Tessa wasn't quite ready to wish that she'd simply joined her mother and brothers for Christmas Eve dinner that night, but Anton Reinke Schäfer was nearly making her reconsider.  Who went out without their wand?!  At this point, she probably shouldn't be surprised, but Tessa's nostrils still flared as she shot an Avada Kedavra-worthy look at her charge.  The sooner she could file this report and hand him off to someone on Level Two, the better.

With the failed wand check at least going quickly, she'd grabbed Anton's elbow again to haul him onwards to the Ministry lifts.  The area was completely empty, and lucky for Tessa's patience and the German boy's life, one of the golden grills slid creakily open almost immediately as they approached it.

Tessa barely gave the blonde teen the chance to step inside, practically shouldering him as she boarded the lift behind him.  Turning towards the panel, she began to jab at the well-worn button that said 2 with a ferocity that she normally only reserved for full moon patrols.

There was a dinging sound, and the golden doors slid closed again.  With a sudden lurch, the lift began to move slowly upwards.

Pressing her mouth tightly shut, Tessa faced forward, watching the arrow above the lift doors begin to tick to the right.  Level Seven...Level Six...Level Five...

She couldn't stand it. 

"How could you not bring your wand?" she finally erupted, turning to shoot Anton a furiously astonished look.  "What were you thinking, wandering around by yourself at night?  How did you even get into Diagon, anyway!?"

As far as Anton could tell, the Lift was a bit like the Ministry of Magic's Austin Swift.  Sure, it was fairly fanciful in it's own right - it had the flashy gold metal, the mostly-unique mesh door and the mysterious glowing buttons on the wall.  But, much like a C-list celebrity, there were plenty of other fancy elevators in plenty of high-end London buildings that could have just as easily played the role. 

If it weren't for the fact that Austin Swift had a sister named Taylor, few would give him a second glance.  Likewise, if this elevator had not been part of the greater grandeur of the Ministry of Magic, Anton would have scoffed at yet another unnecessary flaunting of wealth and too-muched-ness. 

Anton like to pretend he was pretty cool and hip, not at all like his parents weren't filthy rich but ... if you'd seen one fancy elevator, you pretty much saw them all. 

"Not DDA compliant, I see," he remarked as he stared in only-mildly quieted fascination as Tessa bashed the letter two with unfiltered impatience. 

"Do we pass through some weird dimensional portal and start at the top floor?" Anton asked, his intrigue in the typically fancy elevator proving to be rather short-lived.  "We went down in the phone booth, yeah?  I mean, ground floor ... or basement ... whatever to level two shouldn't be-" 

"How could you not bring your wand?"

Her anger no longer cushioned by fascinating distractions, Anton jumped and took an involuntary step back into opposite corner in the lift.  "Can I go back to the vampire?" Anton asked, with as sheepish and placating a grin as he could manage.  "He wasn't as scary." 

Okay ... okay ... maybe he should be taking this a tad more seriously.  Though, doing so was still just so hard. 

"Look - I didn't bring it because ... I ... don't have one," he confessed.  "I saw a bloke I recognized go in and just followed him through the Leaky Cauldron.  It wasn't that hard.  My little brother starts at Hogwarts in the fall and I wanted to get him something as a last minute Christmas Present.  The magic blood seemed to have skipped me, but I him to know I'm super excited for him."