Absit Omen RPG

Talisha reached out to snag Josie Flint by the shoulder bag. She chittered at her.

"Tch-tch-tch, don't run off!"

Everybody knew that money changed hands at these things faster than a Slandermouth jarvey could pick your pocket, but Talisha had no idea bribery was an option.

"Samir Banda is a saint," she whispered behind her green cigarette.[1] "He wouldn't dare. Or would he? If bribery is on the table, I should have had the opportunity to present a counter offer."

Why Talisha thought a journalist would be an ally in this, she didn't know.

1.	Esteemed Quidditch referee who apparently moonlights as a Wizards' Poker judge.

"Your people aren't the only ones to lurk on Level Two," Talisha informed the others matter-of-factly. "There's me, figure one, about as welcome as a fox. And there's my potential clientele and their lot. Who knows, who knows, who knows..."

She muttered and straightened up. Talisha Crowe wasn't usually so altruistic, but this little caper had caught her curiosity and these other two witches were growing on her. And how funny the dancing spots in her vision were becoming. And what a funny buzzing feeling.

"Nothing here at all. Just a rattlefig jimminy bash." Talisha groaned, leaned forward, caught herself on the desk and sank to the floor. She was out cold, one eye rolled way back in her head, the other glassy and unseeing. (For it was made of glass.)

"I have several, Flint," Talisha Crowe replied to  journalist Josie.

"Capricious, that's the first one." Talisha lifted a long purple cigarette to her lips. Then she lifted a second cigarette, this time green, and gave it too a puff.  "Capricious and arbitrary, that's another."

The Slandermouthian lawyer had gone down in the second round having accumulated a fatal number of fouls, including one hidden foul. There had been an appeal but ultimately, Crowe had been eliminated.

"Bellowscrat. Umami. Backwards. Stephanie. Gin. Write that down."

Talisha sipped from the tea. As she did, her left eye rolled back in her head until her eye looked completely white. When she lowered the cup again, the eye seemed to sigh back into place.

"Good good," she muttered to herself. Then she returned to her her desk, set the tea down on a stack of files, and pulled a tight scroll from the drawer. She whipped it open and laid it out in front of Rigel; the scroll unfurled over the edge of the desk it was nearly five feet long. The text went in all directions, paragraphs wound around each other and writing when all up and down the edges. It was pocked with tick boxes, blank spaces for signatures, and a little space at the very bottom requested one drop of the applicant's blood. Next to it was a space for the employer's likewise offering.

 "There's just the matter of the application."

She held out a fluffy white self-inking quill.

"It's all standard. It describes the duties and parameters I've already explained and details the confidentiality and secrecy requirements. Your signature and mine activate a magical pact, nigh unbreakable. The penalty for breaching this contract is quite unpleasant, so do, Mr. Acrux, choose wisely. For once in your life, your fate is entirely in your own hand. Well, as much as it can ever me," she said than broke out in a peal of melodic laughter.

With that, Talisha took her seat again, took up this morning's Daily Prophet and teacup again leaving Rigel with the document.

Rigel met the minimum qualifications which was more than could be said to the non-existent applicants queuing up to work for her scrappy little enterprise. Oh, she'd have liked more of a selection but really, time was of the essence and she couldn't just conjure someone out of thin air. It was far too expensive and she'd used up her last favor of the Hexwicks.  Talisha nodded along as she poured the piping hot water over a sachet of herbal tea.

"The status of the case must be a closely guarded professional secret," Talisha explained without admonishment. It was very polite of him to ask. "There are those who'd take any advantage to sabotage our defense so mum's the word."

She took some powder from a coffer marked only with cat skull symbol and sprinkled it into the teacup and then swizzle-stirred the tea until it was blended. She turned back to Rigel, the light coming from behind illuminating her lion-like hair like a mane afire. She held the cup in both hands and let the steam rise in front of her face.

"I am in need of a gopher. A dogsbody. A lackey. A bodyman. A familiar A left hand. A third eye," she rattled on, suddenly rapid. "Well. A fourth. Doesn't matter. You'll assist in miscellaneous and sundry. Errands, minor requests and quests, pulling documents, deliveries, quiet inquiring about, some shopping, bit of light reading, lying for me, managing owls, sharpening quills, all that sort."

She went on. "The pay is fair and the hours can be atrocious. But do know this, I will allow no harm to befall you no matter the danger."

As Rigel Acrux worked his way through his answers, Talisha sat motionless and listening. The morning was maturing and more and more light filtered down into the little office from Knockturn Alley through hazy green-tinted glass. They were five minutes in and it was so-far-so-good for Mr Acrux. He'd done a very good job avoiding common interview pitfalls like urinating in the plant, promoting a musical act, or admitting to being a spy from a rival law firm.

Rigel finished his answers with a question of his own. Little ferret had connected dots! Talisha was as giddy to tell him as anyone. She stood up slowly from the chair, resting her fingers on the desk and gave a little shrug. She looked so damn proud of herself, like she'd nabbed the big one.

"We might be. We might be. I mean, I - " she put her hand to her chest and dipped at the knee for a beat, "I am. It's the 'we' that's the 'might'. You and I, we're not a 'we' yet. Only Seers can tell. But yes, and I think that's the point, Mr. Acrux. Representing a vampire on a murder case, I'd be stretched thin, very thin. I need an assistant."

She left the desk and crossed the room to a tea cart where an enchanted kettle had been keeping water hot.

"How old are you? Can you Apparate? Good with a wand? How are you at reading?"

Talisha lifted her chin and peered at the young wizard. He wasn't nervous. No fidgeting, no over-explaining, his hair wasn't even changing colors. It was, though, equally possible that he was nervous but just very good at hiding it. Or in his short life his youthful psyche had reason to numb itself to all feeling. Or perhaps he was sky-high on gillyweed. She smirked to herself. Ah, youth. Now she was jealous. She wished she could be sky-high on gillyweed right now.

"In due time," Talisha replied sagely. She had more questions. "Are you not concerned that vampires possess hypnotic abilities and that some say its not truly possible for a human to be a truly willing participant in a vampire bite? Are you not, Mr. Acrux? And vampire registration, have you given that any thought? Seems reasonable, doesn't it? The Ministry of Magic protects vampires and provides them social services - seems like a list ought to be kept, do you agree?"

Talisha tilted her head, laced her fingers, and smiled nicely.

Talisha's chair wailed and creaked when she sat back and steepled her fingers at her chin, her lopsided smile like a Cheshire cat.

"Ah! Ah ah!" she laughed. "Cheeky devil you are. Bet you've got a file thicker than a fruitcake at school, haven't you. No, no, it's good. It's good. The world needs a bit of chaos. We're full up on pedants, but chaos makes things tidier. But no."

She leaned forward again and placed her finger on the desk.

"Criminals do crime. That's obvious enough. It's in the word."

Her finger advanced down the imaginary list.

"Two, avoid digressions into semantics unless you know exactly where you're at. And three: how do you feel about vampires?"

"Ah!"

Talisha stood up from the chair behind her desk and leaned way forward to shake the young wizards hand. A collection of talismans dangled and jangled from her neck as she did so, and her left eye took a wild swing around its socket. She clasped his hand with her right and regained her balance on the desk with the other.

"Rigel Acrux, he looks smart," she declared at him once she released his hand. She straightened up and nodded. "Yes, well-kept, right on time. Looks like a Rigel. Looks like an Acrux. Looks like a wizard. Not his fault though. I did ask for that, didn't I? Have a seat."

There was a chair on Rigel's side of the desk.

"I am Talisha Crowe," she introduced herself with a grand gesture. "Tell me, Rigel. Are you a criminal?"

12 March 2020 at 9am
Crowe and Associates law offices at 19 Knockturn Alley 003B
London

Talisha Crowe had not forgotten about Rigel Acrux. She had not forgotten about the first and only response to her for hire advert that she'd put in the Daily Prophet a couple of weeks ago.  She had not forgotten Rigel Acrux's earnest but well-presented letter of inquiry nor that he'd included the name of Niobe Thursby in the post script. She appreciated Thursby. She appreciated her brother Pollux more. She appreciated the increase in her case load now that she was defending a vampire and she was thrilled to be able to afford to hire a bit of help again. Crowe and Associates had never actually been in the plural properly before and hiring a street waif wasn't a partner-made, but it did lend a smudge of corporation to her endeavors.

Help Wanted
Crowe & Associates now hiring for an assistant in matters clerical and sundry. Must have own wand and licensed to Apparate. No experience or N.E.W.T.s necessary. Opportunities for advancement available for the right candidate.

Crow & Associates specializes in criminal matters so moral flexibility is preferred.

She'd asked Rigel to come by at nine this Monday morning March the twelfth and to not be late.  She had court at ten and the Wizengamot did not like to be kept waiting unless they were the ones keeping her clients waiting in which case the delay of game was all above board.

Talisha left Cassandra on her own for about a quarter hour. An Auror Trainee stood by outside the door as guard while Talisha haggled with Auror Roh. There was paperwork, but they both know that the other knew that this was the inevitable end to this encounter. Perhaps the Aurors would prove their case against Cassandra Motley and perhaps they'd do it soon, but they would not be doing it tonight.

No, the next item on the docket was a vampire's free passage back into the London darkness.

Fin

Talisha drew back, but only just. Cassandra Motley's fuse was short. A temper like a fickle faerie, easily offended, seemed she to Talisha. The lawyer resolved to be a little more careful. Vampires were vampires after all and not the same way that people called lawyers vampires.

"I really don't," Talisha admitted some of the soppy daze fading from her face. It was a dastardly thing that had happened.  A dead man in the park on Christmas, drained of blood, killed and dead. A vampire had sucked all his life up and left him there alone in the cold. Yes, indeed, it was a despicable thing, but it had already been done. It couldn't be avoided now. What was left was everything else. The Aurors had their job, of course. Beings had theirs. And Talisha Crowe had hers, too.

"But if anyone could ask and there was anyone you would tell, it would be yours truly," Talisha said, then she winked.

Abruptly, she changed tack.

"The wand's circumstantial, your alibi's already been confirmed, and you've said nothing incriminating. How'd you like to go home?"

The scroll rolled shut and Talisha nipped it up. She was very pleased with her good fortune. A vampire! A real one. A murder! A real one. There were death threats as well. It was a cornucopia and much more exciting than the petty crime she was accustomed to.

Cassandra Motley had no shortage of things to say so Talisha would have to put a stop to that. Cassandra was also very keen to convince her own lawyer that she was innocent. Framed. (This would not be her first framing. Alleged framing.) Talisha didn't know Cassandra well enough to know if her protestation to the charges was in her character as a chatty Cathy or a blustery cover for what must be fear. She'd have to look it up: how long was a vampire's life sentence?

Talisha mirrored Cassandra's pout and nodded in sympathy. One eye lagged a little behind the other in the up-and-down. "I do see it, Miss Motley. I see it like a mountain standing in front of me. Massive."

"But ... "

But...

"Did you do it? Just between us girls..."

Talisha listened intently. She leaned forward, her hands folded on the table, and maintained steady eye contact. Lurid. Grim. Fascinating. Perfect. She'd never represented a vampire before. They so rarely found themselves in the system, at least the legal system. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures seemed to have regulation and control of vampires well in hand.

"It's something," Talisha agreed when Cass finished her side of things.

Talisha paused then sat up and took out a thick scroll from her bag as well as a quill and an inkwell. She set them all in front of Cass and unfurled the scroll.

"This is a contact. It binds me to you in your defense in this criminal matter. Either of us can sever the bond at any time, but as long as it's intact, I have no choice but to represent you to the absolute best of my ability. Such that it is. Anything you tell me is kept under strictest confidentiality."

She pointed at a section in the middle. "And it binds you to pay my fee according to this scale."

As lawyers went, Talisha was affordable. She was alone in her practice and worked speedily and in quantity.

"I should tell you. You're my first vampire. And this is my first murder."  Her tone was not at all meant to be consoling.

An hour later, a private room no cozier than a closet.

"Hello, my dear," Talisha said once she'd closed the interrogation room door. She stood just inside, holding a stack of folders and papers to her stomach. She was staring, her eyes wide and her mouth curled into a smile. She looked not unlike a fanatic. It was like Christmas. There she was: a beautiful vampire. Golden hair, skin pale and ashen, and a mouthful of teeth.

"I hope you don't mind, but I'd love to save your life."

She moved forward suddenly, tripped on her own shoe, then stuck her hand out.

"Talisha Crowe. I'm your lawyer."

How she'd come to be is a bit of a turn-about tale. Suffice it to say for the moment that Talisha keeps her eye on the docket and a diviner on retainer.